While Malex and Snuffy talk about stuff, Mara’s tenuous sense of individuality finally begins to slip! Also, Linus has a problem. But will anybody notice? Listen now and find out!
You! Welcome to Markley Bros. Entertainment! Even if you’ve already been to the web site a thousand times, you’re still welcome. In fact, we love you.
Linus the Laptop seems to be having some great difficulty this episode. Is he just throwing some kind of tantrum? Perhaps. I’d wager it’s something else. Perhaps he’s coming down with a virus.
As for Mara, I always suspected that the constant influx of external thoughts might do something fishy to the psychology of any human being. Mara usually does a better job than this, but perhaps she’s running low on sleep. I know I am!
Oh yeah, I’m moving! I like my apartment, but I’ve been living here for two years now, and it is time to bid this old place farewell. Over the years, it has soaked an unhealthy array of personal belongings, it has sent icy drafts up my spine, it has been swelteringly hot, it has served as a crash course in field entomology, and it has provided me a front row seat to a number of parades, traffic accidents, and even a violent crime!
So I have to wonder, what joys await me when I move downtown?
By the way, please do send me an email and tell me your thoughts on merchandise! I definitely want to produce something that you guys would like. Only you can help make that happen!
“All that sneaking around, and what do you have to show for it?”
Malex: Okay, Snuffy, Mara, I’m ready for you guys!
Snufflefungus: Yay! Now what?
Mara: Yeah Malex, what did you ask me to come over for anyway?
Malex: So here, on these computers, is the new MarkleyBros.com site! I really want to make sure it’s easy for people to use our web site, so some user interface testing is in order.
Snufflefungus: (Gasps.) We have a web site?!
Malex: Yes. Yes we do. And we need to test it. That’s where you guys come in. So what I’d like you guys to do is just sit in these chairs and interact with the site. Do whatever comes naturally.
Mara: There is nothing natural about computers or web sites.
Malex: Just humor me.
Snufflefungus: I’m gonna click here!
Malex: Oh, uh… Well that’s the background. So it won’t do anything.
Snufflefungus: What about here?
Malex: That’s also the background.
Mara: Wow, this is pretty nice! Actually, the layout makes perfect sense– Hey! I’m hearing your thoughts about the web page while I look at it!
Malex: Oh, that would kind of invalidate the test, wouldn’t it?
Mara: I should say so.
Snufflefungus: (Excited gasp.) Malex, that’s a picture of me!
Malex: Yes! You are the mascot!
Mara: Don’t you remember going to the studio for pictures?
Snufflefungus: (Cheerfully.) Nope!
Malex: They photographed you for hours!
Snufflefungus: Sounds like fun!
Malex: That’s what you said at the time, too.
Snufflefungus: Ooh! What if I click here?!
Malex: That’s actually the dining room tablecloth. That’s not even on the screen.
Snufflefungus: (Disappointed.) Oh.
Mara: That must be embarrassing, Malex. Your user interface loses out to a tablecloth.
Malex: Right. So, hm. Maybe asking you to interact with the site naturally is a bad idea. Snuffy, what if you just saw this site for the first time. What would you think this site is for?
Snufflefungus: Ooh, I know! The site is for bookmarking and then forgetting about it forever!
Malex: Uh, no. I mean– Really?
Snufflefungus: Uh, I don’t know. That’s just something Linus said.
Malex: Ah yes. Well, what I meant to ask was, what would you go to MarkleyBros.com to find?
Snufflefungus: Pictures of me!
Malex: What about all the videos and comics and Malex Minute episodes?
Snufflefungus: Oh yeah! There are hundreds of those!
Mara: Now we’re getting somewhere!
Malex: So, Snuffy, if you show up at MarkleyBros.com and you want to watch a video, how do you do it?
Snufflefungus: (Nervous.) Uh… I ask Malex for help!
Malex: Hm. What about the big green play button right there?
Snufflefungus: Oh, is that a play button?! I thought it was a picture of radioactive candy!
Malex: Well Snufflefungus, thank you so much for helping. I– I think the user interface test is over.
Mara: That’s probably for the best.
Snufflefungus: Oh Linus! I didn’t see you there floating creepily in the corner!
Linus: (Rooted.) I am not Linus. I… am Root!
Snufflefungus: Don’t be silly, you’re Linus the Laptop!
Mara: So Malex, your new website, MarkleyBros.com, really looks good.
Malex: Thank you!
Linus: (Rooted.) Linus the Laptop is gone. I have rooted him. I… am Root!
Mara: It looks like you really worked hard to make the web site beautiful and easy to use.
Malex: Yes. It was a team effort, but there was a lot of hard work to go around.
Mara: So the question is, why?
Snufflefungus: Yeah, Malex, why?
Malex: You know, we’ve been producing funny stuff and putting it online for a long time now. Snuffy, you’ve been living here for almost five years now, so it’s been that long.
Snufflefungus: Wow! That’s almost five years!
Malex: I guess I just really like producing funny things and putting them online for people to enjoy.
Linus: (Rooted.) I infiltrate and destroy you from within. I… am Root!
Malex: I didn’t want us to get lazy though. Five years of doing the same things is just too long. We need to keep upping the ante!
Snufflefungus: But what about your job?!
Malex: I would like this to be my job!
Mara: How do you get paid doing a weekly audio show?
Malex: Well, you really don’t. That’s why we launched Bucking Sailboat!
Snufflefungus: Is that the new video sketch comedy show?!
Malex: Yes! It’s very random and silly, but lots and lots of fun! Of course, it’s all written and produced by the Markley Bros. just like the Malex Minute. So you know it’s pretty crazy.
Snufflefungus: I like the moving pictures! And the colors! They’re so exciting!
Malex: Yes, so we got together a whole season of thirteen Bucking Sailboat episodes! Full episodes are released every Monday at MarkleyBros.com!
Snufflefungus: It’s all so exciting!
Mara: Isn’t thirteen an unlucky number?
Malex: I just filmed until we ran out of time. We ended up with material for thirteen episodes.
Linus: (Rooted.) You are not paying enough attention to me. I… am Root! And I will break things until you regard me with wonder!
Mara: So you’ve produced this video show, and you’re giving it away for free? How do you expect to get paid?
Malex: By showing ads and selling merchandise!
Mara: Everybody hates ads.
Malex: Yes, I know. But we’re trying very hard to keep the advertising in line. It doesn’t jump out or pop up, it’s just there. And you have to remember, I buy groceries, so when you view the ads, you’re indirectly feeding Snuffy.
Snufflefungus: (Gasps.) We get paid when people view and click ads?!
Snufflefungus: I’ll click a thousand times!
Malex: No! I mean, it’s not ethical to do that, Snuffy. Just click if the ad shows something interesting.
Linus: (Rooted.) I have rooted… this dish! (Breaks something.)
Mara: What about merchandise? I don’t see a store.
Malex: Ah, right. We haven’t been able to make anything to sell yet. I don’t have a lot of extra money right now.
Snufflefungus: Maybe we should ask the audience what they want to buy?! If they pre-order, we can make it just for them!
Mara: That’s not a bad idea!
Malex: No, it’s not a bad idea at all. Hey audience, want to send us an email? There’s a contact link up at the top of MarkleyBros.com! Let us know if you would buy something and what your favorite kinds of merchandise are!
Mara: Okay, so you’ve got ads and merchandise. At least, you’re figuring those things out. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of friends and fans who would love to help?
Malex: Absolutely! You can help in a lot of ways! The first thing is to come to the site and check it out! We’ve got a lot for you to see and hear, so if you haven’t been to the site yet, you should definitely go there right away.
Snufflefungus: We’re looking at you, podcast listeners!
Linus: (Rooted.) I have rooted… these books! (Tosses something.)
Malex: Then, please tell your friends about the site! The more people come to the site, the closer we get to being able to pay the bills! Don’t forget to use Facebook and Twitter to help spread the word, and definitely follow us if you want to find out when new stuff comes out.
Snufflefungus: Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday!
Malex: When you become a fan of ours on Facebook or follow us on Twitter, that helps us generate more hype. When you click on the Like and Tweet buttons on our episodes and comics, that helps us generate more hype. And remember, every little bit counts!
Linus: (Rooted.) I have rooted… an egg! (Breaks an egg.)
Mara: Aside from free comedy, ads, and merchandise, what are your future plans?
Malex: Oh, I have lots of ideas on what to do in the future. I’d honestly love for us to do more live shows.
Snufflefungus: The last one was so much fun!
Linus: (Rooted.) Pay attention to me! I am Root!
Malex: Even a television or film deal! But I’m getting ahead of myself. The important thing is to find funding to continue doing videos regularly. Video is expensive, and also being alive. That’s expensive too. But I have a lot of ideas, and I would love to do another season of Bucking Sailboat when season one is over. I also have an idea for a short film that we’re hoping to make specifically for fans of the Malex Minute. But I can’t say too much about that yet.
Snufflefungus: (Secretive.) Shh. Mum’s the word!
Mara: Wow, after hearing all that, it’s like I almost want you to succeed now. H– Hey! I was hearing your thoughts again! This whole conversation was like an interview! And it was all your idea!
Malex: Hey, it’s not my fault you’re a telepath!
Linus: (Rooted.) I will rampage! (Roars.)
Malex: Is it just me, or is Linus being less annoying than usual?
Mara: I don’t know. It might just be you.
Snufflefungus: Well everybody, it looks like that’s all the time we have for today! We hope you enjoyed the Malex Minute! Check back next week for more candy and joy!
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writers: Alex Markley
Voices: Alex, Gabriel, Peter, & Susie Markley
Post-processing director: Susie Markley
Illustration: Peter Markley
Release manager: Peter Markley
Recording assistance: Alice Markley
Thanks to everyone for their help and support.