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Malex Minute 213

While Malex and Snuffy talk about stuff, Mara’s tenuous sense of individuality finally begins to slip! Also, Linus has a problem. But will anybody notice? Listen now and find out!

Episode Audio

Alex's Thoughts

You! Welcome to Markley Bros. Entertainment! Even if you’ve already been to the web site a thousand times, you’re still welcome. In fact, we love you.

Linus the Laptop seems to be having some great difficulty this episode. Is he just throwing some kind of tantrum? Perhaps. I’d wager it’s something else. Perhaps he’s coming down with a virus.

As for Mara, I always suspected that the constant influx of external thoughts might do something fishy to the psychology of any human being. Mara usually does a better job than this, but perhaps she’s running low on sleep. I know I am!

Oh yeah, I’m moving! I like my apartment, but I’ve been living here for two years now, and it is time to bid this old place farewell. Over the years, it has soaked an unhealthy array of personal belongings, it has sent icy drafts up my spine, it has been swelteringly hot, it has served as a crash course in field entomology, and it has provided me a front row seat to a number of parades, traffic accidents, and even a violent crime!

So I have to wonder, what joys await me when I move downtown?

By the way, please do send me an email and tell me your thoughts on merchandise! I definitely want to produce something that you guys would like. Only you can help make that happen!

ttyl!

—Alex Markley

“All that sneaking around, and what do you have to show for it?”

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Malex: Okay, Snuffy, Mara, I’m ready for you guys!

Snufflefungus: Yay! Now what?

Mara: Yeah Malex, what did you ask me to come over for anyway?

Malex: So here, on these computers, is the new MarkleyBros.com site! I really want to make sure it’s easy for people to use our web site, so some user interface testing is in order.

Snufflefungus: (Gasps.) We have a web site?!

Malex: Yes. Yes we do. And we need to test it. That’s where you guys come in. So what I’d like you guys to do is just sit in these chairs and interact with the site. Do whatever comes naturally.

Mara: There is nothing natural about computers or web sites.

Malex: Just humor me.

Snufflefungus: I’m gonna click here!

Malex: Oh, uh… Well that’s the background. So it won’t do anything.

Snufflefungus: What about here?

Malex: That’s also the background.

Mara: Wow, this is pretty nice! Actually, the layout makes perfect sense– Hey! I’m hearing your thoughts about the web page while I look at it!

Malex: Oh, that would kind of invalidate the test, wouldn’t it?

Mara: I should say so.

Snufflefungus: (Excited gasp.) Malex, that’s a picture of me!

Malex: Yes! You are the mascot!

Mara: Don’t you remember going to the studio for pictures?

Snufflefungus: (Cheerfully.) Nope!

Malex: They photographed you for hours!

Snufflefungus: Sounds like fun!

Malex: That’s what you said at the time, too.

Snufflefungus: Ooh! What if I click here?!

Malex: That’s actually the dining room tablecloth. That’s not even on the screen.

Snufflefungus: (Disappointed.) Oh.

Mara: That must be embarrassing, Malex. Your user interface loses out to a tablecloth.

Malex: Right. So, hm. Maybe asking you to interact with the site naturally is a bad idea. Snuffy, what if you just saw this site for the first time. What would you think this site is for?

Snufflefungus: Ooh, I know! The site is for bookmarking and then forgetting about it forever!

Malex: Uh, no. I mean– Really?

Snufflefungus: Uh, I don’t know. That’s just something Linus said.

Malex: Ah yes. Well, what I meant to ask was, what would you go to MarkleyBros.com to find?

Snufflefungus: Pictures of me!

Malex: What about all the videos and comics and Malex Minute episodes?

Snufflefungus: Oh yeah! There are hundreds of those!

Mara: Now we’re getting somewhere!

Malex: So, Snuffy, if you show up at MarkleyBros.com and you want to watch a video, how do you do it?

Snufflefungus: (Nervous.) Uh… I ask Malex for help!

Malex: Hm. What about the big green play button right there?

Snufflefungus: Oh, is that a play button?! I thought it was a picture of radioactive candy!

Malex: Well Snufflefungus, thank you so much for helping. I– I think the user interface test is over.

Mara: That’s probably for the best.

Snufflefungus: Oh Linus! I didn’t see you there floating creepily in the corner!

Linus: (Rooted.) I am not Linus. I… am Root!

Snufflefungus: Don’t be silly, you’re Linus the Laptop!

Mara: So Malex, your new website, MarkleyBros.com, really looks good.

Malex: Thank you!

Linus: (Rooted.) Linus the Laptop is gone. I have rooted him. I… am Root!

Mara: It looks like you really worked hard to make the web site beautiful and easy to use.

Malex: Yes. It was a team effort, but there was a lot of hard work to go around.

Mara: So the question is, why?

Snufflefungus: Yeah, Malex, why?

Malex: You know, we’ve been producing funny stuff and putting it online for a long time now. Snuffy, you’ve been living here for almost five years now, so it’s been that long.

Snufflefungus: Wow! That’s almost five years!

Malex: I guess I just really like producing funny things and putting them online for people to enjoy.

Linus: (Rooted.) I infiltrate and destroy you from within. I… am Root!

Malex: I didn’t want us to get lazy though. Five years of doing the same things is just too long. We need to keep upping the ante!

Snufflefungus: But what about your job?!

Malex: I would like this to be my job!

Snufflefungus: Wow!

Mara: How do you get paid doing a weekly audio show?

Malex: Well, you really don’t. That’s why we launched Bucking Sailboat!

Snufflefungus: Is that the new video sketch comedy show?!

Malex: Yes! It’s very random and silly, but lots and lots of fun! Of course, it’s all written and produced by the Markley Bros. just like the Malex Minute. So you know it’s pretty crazy.

Snufflefungus: I like the moving pictures! And the colors! They’re so exciting!

Malex: Yes, so we got together a whole season of thirteen Bucking Sailboat episodes! Full episodes are released every Monday at MarkleyBros.com!

Snufflefungus: It’s all so exciting!

Mara: Isn’t thirteen an unlucky number?

Malex: I just filmed until we ran out of time. We ended up with material for thirteen episodes.

Linus: (Rooted.) You are not paying enough attention to me. I… am Root! And I will break things until you regard me with wonder!

Mara: So you’ve produced this video show, and you’re giving it away for free? How do you expect to get paid?

Malex: By showing ads and selling merchandise!

Mara: Everybody hates ads.

Malex: Yes, I know. But we’re trying very hard to keep the advertising in line. It doesn’t jump out or pop up, it’s just there. And you have to remember, I buy groceries, so when you view the ads, you’re indirectly feeding Snuffy.

Snufflefungus: (Gasps.) We get paid when people view and click ads?!

Malex: Yes.

Snufflefungus: I’ll click a thousand times!

Malex: No! I mean, it’s not ethical to do that, Snuffy. Just click if the ad shows something interesting.

Linus: (Rooted.) I have rooted… this dish! (Breaks something.)

Mara: What about merchandise? I don’t see a store.

Malex: Ah, right. We haven’t been able to make anything to sell yet. I don’t have a lot of extra money right now.

Snufflefungus: Maybe we should ask the audience what they want to buy?! If they pre-order, we can make it just for them!

Mara: That’s not a bad idea!

Malex: No, it’s not a bad idea at all. Hey audience, want to send us an email? There’s a contact link up at the top of MarkleyBros.com! Let us know if you would buy something and what your favorite kinds of merchandise are!

Mara: Okay, so you’ve got ads and merchandise. At least, you’re figuring those things out. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of friends and fans who would love to help?

Malex: Absolutely! You can help in a lot of ways! The first thing is to come to the site and check it out! We’ve got a lot for you to see and hear, so if you haven’t been to the site yet, you should definitely go there right away.

Snufflefungus: We’re looking at you, podcast listeners!

Linus: (Rooted.) I have rooted… these books! (Tosses something.)

Malex: Then, please tell your friends about the site! The more people come to the site, the closer we get to being able to pay the bills! Don’t forget to use Facebook and Twitter to help spread the word, and definitely follow us if you want to find out when new stuff comes out.

Snufflefungus: Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday!

Malex: When you become a fan of ours on Facebook or follow us on Twitter, that helps us generate more hype. When you click on the Like and Tweet buttons on our episodes and comics, that helps us generate more hype. And remember, every little bit counts!

Linus: (Rooted.) I have rooted… an egg! (Breaks an egg.)

Mara: Aside from free comedy, ads, and merchandise, what are your future plans?

Malex: Oh, I have lots of ideas on what to do in the future. I’d honestly love for us to do more live shows.

Snufflefungus: The last one was so much fun!

Linus: (Rooted.) Pay attention to me! I am Root!

Malex: Even a television or film deal! But I’m getting ahead of myself. The important thing is to find funding to continue doing videos regularly. Video is expensive, and also being alive. That’s expensive too. But I have a lot of ideas, and I would love to do another season of Bucking Sailboat when season one is over. I also have an idea for a short film that we’re hoping to make specifically for fans of the Malex Minute. But I can’t say too much about that yet.

Snufflefungus: (Secretive.) Shh. Mum’s the word!

Mara: Wow, after hearing all that, it’s like I almost want you to succeed now. H– Hey! I was hearing your thoughts again! This whole conversation was like an interview! And it was all your idea!

Malex: Hey, it’s not my fault you’re a telepath!

Linus: (Rooted.) I will rampage! (Roars.)

Malex: Is it just me, or is Linus being less annoying than usual?

Mara: I don’t know. It might just be you.

Snufflefungus: Well everybody, it looks like that’s all the time we have for today! We hope you enjoyed the Malex Minute! Check back next week for more candy and joy!

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Alex Markley

Voices: Alex, Gabriel, Peter, & Susie Markley

Post-processing director: Susie Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Alice Markley

Thanks to Sea Fury for use of the Computer Cooling Fan sound effect.

Thanks to Hell’s Sound Guy for use of the Mouse Clicks sound effect.

Thanks to Data Sound Sample for use of the Glass Shatter sound effect.

Thanks to Robin hood 76 for use of the Egg Crash 1 sound effect.

Thanks to Robin hood 76 for use of the Smashing Egg 1 sound effect.

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio5.51 MB Download Now - 5.51 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration214.74 KB Download Now - 214.74 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

Lilly's picture

Poor Linus! Somebody fix him

Poor Linus! Somebody fix him quick!

I was just thinking the other day that you guys should ask for merchandise requests. Snuffy must have heard telepathically :-P

I would totally buy a T-shirt with Gabe's face on it, but shirts with favorite quotes and little pictures might sell better. My all time favorite quote is still "If brains were dynamite you'd be all alone." X-D

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Malex said: it has served as

Malex said:

it has served as a crash course in field entomology

ROFL!

I enjoy this episode very much. Linus sounds like he's having a tantrum. I swear I've had kids in the nursery at church do that very same thing! X-D

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Alex's picture

Yay T-Shirts!

Thanks for your feedback, Lilly! I like T-Shirts too.

The challenge, as always is balancing volume and quality. I have some experience messing around with various on-demand and other low volume options. To be frank I have yet to find a vendor whose products and customer service met my requirements.

I have very exacting requirements.

But it's been a couple of years. It's time to figure this out once and for all! If the people want T-Shirts, we'll give them T-Shirts! :)

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Goodness.

Alex said:

it has provided me a front row seat to a number of parades, traffic accidents, and even a violent crime!

I sense a story. Do tell! =D

Also...I think keychain Splickies would be cool... :D

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

Alex's picture

Keychains and Cops

gnnb94 said:

Alex said:

it has provided me a front row seat to a number of parades, traffic accidents, and even a violent crime!

I sense a story. Do tell! =D

Well, I actually have a video. :-P But I already shared that with the police, and I probably shouldn't do anything else with it. (Putting it online is clearly not going to happen.)

Fun fact #18: Peter sleeps through screams in the night.

gnnb94 said:

Also...I think keychain Splickies would be cool... :D

Alas, as cool as that would be, it wouldn't be a good idea to try selling merchandise for a brand that we're not actually promoting. ;)

But in all seriousness, would you buy a sufficiently funny/clever/cute T-Shirt? (Not asking for a blood oath, just a survey of preferences.) If not a T-Shirt, what other kinds of awesome might you buy?

ttyl!

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Fun!

This episode was LOTS of fun. I can so totally identify with Linus raging in the background. I get like that myself periodically, and get much the same reaction.

Linus (Rooted) said:

I have rooted… an egg! (Breaks an egg.)

I just love that sound effect!

Malex: You know, we’ve been producing funny stuff and putting it online for a long time now. Snuffy, you’ve been living here for almost five years now, so it’s been that long.

Snufflefungus: Wow! That’s almost five years!

Snuffy is so cute and loveable.

We made stuffed Snuffys for a while. People seemed to like them, but I'm not sure if we can get the raw materials for them. I'd be willing to take a stab at making them ig enough people want them. Maybe keychain sized Snuffys?

Great episode, guys. For me, Linus was the star. I so know how he feels, especially when his communication breaks down to indecipherable growling. Honest. Ask Oz!

Alex said:

it has served as a crash course in field entomology

That's so unsettling. Have you discovered Tyrannosaurus Roach?

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Peter's picture

Yes

In the basement of his apartment building - where the laundry machines are. (:)

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

The art

I forgot to comment on the picture. Linus looks amazing. Is that green smoke (or whatever it is) coming from his eyes or the computer? Either way, it looks dangerous.

Is there a correlation between that smoke/steam and the steam coming from the pie in the picture on the wall? As Grandpa pointed out, at least the steam in the picture is contained by the frame. But why would anyone put a picture of a pie - any pie - on their wall?

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Peter's picture

Hmm

There is no correlation to my knowledge. :) As for the artistic taste shown in the decor, your guess is as good as mine.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Lilly's picture

SangMing said: But why would

SangMing said:

But why would anyone put a picture of a pie - any pie - on their wall?

Don't tempt Gabe. He loves your apple pies so much he just might do it =P

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Alex said: Fun fact #18:

Alex said:

Fun fact #18: Peter sleeps through screams in the night.

I learned last night though that I don't sleep through gunshots. 0: ) (Disclaimer: I don't think they were real gunshots. I think it was a motorcycle backfiring. Either way it had my out of my bed in seconds.)

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Peter's picture

BTW

Alex said:

Fun fact #18: Peter sleeps through screams in the night.

I actually was beginning to be aware of the shouting, until I heard the cops show up. Then I relaxed & fell back to sleep.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

T's

Alex said:

But in all seriousness, would you buy a sufficiently funny/clever/cute T-Shirt? (Not asking for a blood oath, just a survey of preferences.) If not a T-Shirt, what other kinds of awesome might you buy?

T-shirts are good, if they're reasonably priced. :P

Timby and Snuffy and Nixy plush toys would be sweet.

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

screams! haha

Alex said:

Fun fact #18: Peter sleeps through screams in the night.

That took me about ten times to realize where you were saying. I thought you said "Peter screams in the night" Then Peter's comment made NO sense.. lol

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

T's

The only way I'd buy a t-shirt is if it's made especially for women. I look awful in plain mens/womens crew neck t's.

Gnnb, if you had a Timby plushy, would you use it to tie your air back?

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Alex's picture

Prices!

gnnb94 said:

T-shirts are good, if they're reasonably priced. :P

This is a good point. What do you consider a 'reasonable' price? If one is used to going to walmart and paying $5 for something that covers one's torso, that's not the same thing at all as buying a T-Shirt to represent and support a brand that you enjoy.

I did a quick survey online, and other web comics are selling T-Shirts in their online stores between $18 and $20, not including shipping. (Some clearance shirts and old designs seem to be available for as low as $12. I don't think we'll be shooting for that price point.)

Keeping in mind that this is a way to sponsor Markley Bros. Entertainment, would you consider the $18-$20 price point unreasonable?

gnnb94 said:

Timby and Snuffy and Nixy plush toys would be sweet.

Yes, these would be nice. However, I just don't think we have enough capital up front to manufacture these at all, let alone the audience base to sell them.

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

haha!

SangMing said:

Gnnb, if you had a Timby plushy, would you use it to tie your hair back?

Hahaha of course I would! :D

As for T's, I would be more willing to buy more if it were like $5 or something. Then I could get some for my siblings for Christmas ... 0_0

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

Alex's picture

:)

gnnb94 said:

As for T's, I would be more willing to buy more if it were like $5 or something.

I'm not sure it would even be possible for us to manufacture a T-Shirt for $5. :-P Keep in mind, we're not talking about some iron-on homemade stuff, we would be springing for the full silk screen / screen printing experience. :)

The other thing is, I don't think it's going to be possible for me to have anything ready for Christmas. :(

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

T's

Keep in mind that I'm sort of past t-shirt age. But I've spent as much as $25 in the past for a t that had a slogan or design that was special to myself or the person for whom I was purchasing it. I know I spent that much on one for Alice that said, "Be careful or you'll wind up in my novel." And that was a plain, bare bones t-shirt with just that phrase printed on the front. I'd be willing to pay $20 plus s&h for a t-shirt that had recognizable characters or slogans from Markley Bros. And maybe as much as $30 for a hoodie or sweatshirt.

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Mariel 7's picture

T Shirts

I'd say 18-20 is reasonable, 15-18 is great, and 10-15 is BUY IT IMMEDIATELY! But regardless of price, I will be buying one ;) (I like to "vote with my $$$$$" :D )

My personal suggestion would be maybe a "best quotes" collection from each main character (Linus' must include "I curse you in a garbled tongue" ). This would allow people to wear their love for any character without having to decide which pithy quote of theirs to share with the world ... SHARE THEM ALL :D .

Depending on the selected quotes (and final price), I would consider buying one of each ;)

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

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