The Grand Quarter Sixteen Finale, Part Two of Three! Wherein there is great opposition! Our heroes embark on the long journey to Mount Gloom to have the round blue face re-forged in the fires from whence it came! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.
How much epic can we stand? All of it! You’ll have to figure out how much that is yourself.
Honestly, I really love this episode. There’s just so much epic, and so much funny. This episode turned out exactly the way I hoped it would, and what else could I possibly ask for?
Snuffy losing his temper, actually. That’s what. And after four years, it finally happened.
Stay tuned for next week’s grand finale! I promise it will be very epic and very grand. And really, it has to be epic and grand, because it’s the last Malex Minute episode for three whole months!
That’s right; as you’ve surely heard by now, we’ll be going on hiatus for the spring and coming back with a huge splash this summer.
We’re all already hard at work on all of the incredible new things we hope to launch this summer, so stay tuned for updates, sneak peeks, and more!
“Actually, those are azaleas. The bookshelf is that thing over there.”
Little Red Riding Squirrel: Okay, we are all now present! Everybody stay focused, I am removing Round Blue Riding Squirrel’s face now!
~~ Rumbling, followed by an unearthly howl.
Ugly Beige Riding Squirrel: Oh, the burning!
Wet Yellow Riding Squirrel: Why must we bear the brunt of the fury?!
Tall Green Riding Squirrel: Snufflefungus! Face Bearer! Here is the round blue face!
Snufflefungus: I have it!
Little Red Riding Squirrel: Hurry, Snufflefungus, hurry to Mount Gloom and have the face re-forged in the fires from whence it came!
Sick Brown Riding Squirrel: If you do not return quickly, we will lose control and Round Blue Riding Squirrel will consume the universe!
Malex: We’re off now! See us hurrying? We’re hurrying! Just keep him contained until we return!
~~ Scene change.
Mara: That was horrifying! And to think that all Nine Riding Squirrels are still there, trying to contain Round Blue Riding Squirrel!
Linus: It’s pretty terrifying, I’ll admit it. In all my time with Malex, this – by far – has been the closest we’ve ever come to the utter destruction of the universe.
Malex: Well, there was that one time.
Linus: Yeah, but that was more political.
Malex: True. But at least this time, if we fail, we won’t be facing execution for galactic treason.
Linus: Only because the universe will be over.
Snufflefungus: (Vicious.) Can you guys shut up? We need to focus on pressing ahead!
Malex: (Shocked.) O–k…
Mara: He’s just tired. The burden of being the Face Bearer is weighing heavily on him.
Snufflefungus: (Repentant.) Oh Malex, I’m so sorry. This face is such a heavy burden!
Malex: I know, Snuffy. I– I’d offer to carry it myself, but I’m told that will cause instant death.
Snufflefungus: (Melodramatic.) I know. This is my curse. I have to bear this burden… alone.
Mara: Aw, poor Snuffy! And it’s such a long walk, too!
Linus: Why do we have to walk this whole way to the mountain again? After all, aren’t there doors for this sort of thing?
Malex: Yes, but the doors we saw operate by traveling to an area of space, fetching it, and bringing it to you. There isn’t any way to send a door off to the mountain, even if we did have time to wait for it to return.
Mara: But what about the Riding Squirrels? Don’t they have the power to teleport?
Malex: Sure they do, but they can only teleport themselves, otherwise they would have snagged us while we were still in the desert.
Linus: Besides, they’re pretty occupied at the moment.
Mara: Oh, that makes sense.
Linus: We’re close to Mount Gloom now!
Malex: Yes we are.
Mara: And aside from the putrid smell, it’s not half bad!
Malex: Philip must have just been mistaken when he said we couldn’t safely travel within a hundred miles of Mount Gloom.
Snufflefungus: (Excited.) Look, guys! The face! It glows! There must be candy present!
Malex: Or hideous beasts.
Linus: (Snarky.) With a chewy caramel center!
Mara: (Panic.) Run!
Snufflefungus: (Scared.) Philip is always right! We should listen to Philip!
Malex: Keep running!
Linus: Not that way! There are ten more!
Mara: We’re cornered!
~~ More roaring.
Snufflefungus: Oh Malex, what do we do?!
Malex: (Eureka.) Snuffy, the face! Hit them with the face!
Snufflefungus: (Dawning realization.) Oh yeah!
~~ Snuffy uses telekinesis to bounce the face off of every monster.
Mara: Good thinking, Malex!
Linus: That face really does bring instant death to anything that touches it.
Malex: I’m glad, too, because my next suggestion was going to be to try the song and dance routine again.
Mara: Now what?
Malex: We have to keep walking.
Snufflefungus: (Melodramatic.) Oh Malex, no! The face gets heavier with every step!
Malex: Don’t worry Snuffy, it looks like the base of the mountain is just over this ridge.
Mara: Come on Snuffy, I can almost see the base over this ridge now!
Linus: (Trying to be encouraging.) Just think, Snuffy old chum! In a few months we’ll look back on this time and laugh! Laugh I tell you!
Mara: (Quite distraught.) Oh no.
Malex: It looks like there’s a labyrinth at the base of Mount Gloom.
Snufflefungus: (Screams, then collapses.)
Linus: Okay, maybe you won’t look back on this and laugh. (Thoughtful.) Unless… is hysterical laughter a symptom of posttraumatic stress disorder?
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writers: Alex Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers, with a guest appearance by Leela as Mara.
Post-processing director: Leela
Illustration: Peter Markley
Release manager: Peter Markley
Recording assistance: Drew Reed
Thanks to everyone for their help and support.