Malex and friends spend the night in a village inn and reflect on the true meaning of Christmas! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.
Merry Christmas everybody! Sorry for the lateness of this episode, we had it all ready to go and then forgot to push the button last night!
So, enjoy this week’s episode, and enjoy some time with your family and friends this Christmas!
Innkeeper: What do I look like, a doctor?
Snufflefungus: No! You look like an innkeeper!
Innkeeper: Oh that’s right, yeah… I’m an innkeeper. And here I am, keeping my inn. So I have to ask myself, what is this dying animal doing lying on my bar, and why are these foreigners asking me to take care of him?
Linus: Legitimate questions indeed!
Sick Brown Riding Squirrel: (Coughs.)
Malex: Please, sir, we couldn’t just leave him in the woods.
Innkeeper: See, that’s where I’m confused, because that’s exactly what I would have done. After all, where else do dying woodland creatures die except the woods?
Mara: You’re awfully smart-aleckey for the innkeeper of a backward farming village, aren’t you?
Innkeeper: You got me. Your prize is that you get to leave me alone.
Malex: Look, we have money.
Snufflefungus: We do?!
Linus: Philip gave us some.
Malex: I was told your inn was the best place in the village where we could get a warm meal and rooms to spend the night. We need to spend the night and continue our journey in the morning. As for Sick Brown Riding Squirrel, I’ll pay double whatever your normal rate is for a room if you just make sure he’s fed and kept comfortable while he recovers.
Innkeeper’s Wife: Aw, you poor dear! You look like you need a good meal and lots of sleep!
Sick Brown Riding Squirrel: (Very weak.) I… need… medicine…
Malex: And whatever you do, don’t give him any… roots or anything that might make him… loopy.
Innkeeper’s Wife: Oh, we’ve got a junkie on our hands, do we?
Snufflefungus: You could say that.
Innkeeper’s Wife: Well we know how to take care of that, now don’t we!
Sick Brown Riding Squirrel: (Very weak.) Oh no…
Innkeeper’s Wife: We’ve got a special room with a lock, for just such an occasion!
Linus: Well I’ll be…
Innkeeper’s Wife: You nice people just have some of my soup, get a good night’s rest, and be on your way in the morning. We’ll make sure your friend gets the help he needs!
Sick Brown Riding Squirrel: (Very weak.) Please save me…
Linus: Merry Christmas, Sick Brown Riding Squirrel! Merry Christmas.
Innkeeper: (Grunts.) You’d better make good on your ‘paying double’ remark. Once my wife gets something in her head, there’s no stopping her.
Malex: Yes sir.
Snufflefungus: We won’t let you down!
Innkeeper: Now you all go have a seat over there. I’ll bring you some soup and you can relax while I get your rooms ready.
Malex: Thank you. Thanks. Thank– thank you. Thanks a lot. We’re very grateful. Thanks again–
Innkeeper: Shut up before I drive you off my property.
Mara: So, Linus… when you said, “Merry Christmas,” did you…?
Linus: Yes, if we were still on Earth, it would be Christmas Day. December 25th, 2009 started about three hours ago.
Snufflefungus: Wow! It doesn’t even feel like Christmas!
Mara: I know. How awful!
Malex: What do you mean?
Mara: I just feel so far away from home now!
Mara: Maybe it has something to do with being really far away from home…?
Linus: Oh, right.
Malex: Well I, for one, do not miss all the commercialized hoopla around Christmas in America.
Linus: Oh no! Should I crack a Scrooge joke or a Grinch joke?! The indecision!
Snufflefungus: And now the moment has passed, my friend. Let her go.
Malex: Seriously! There’s so much white noise surrounding Christmas, no one could possibly take the time out to appreciate the real reason for the season! Jesus came to Earth to wage a campaign against sin that left death dead and secured righteousness, redemption, and resurrection forever! But the world doesn’t want to hear it, so it gets drowned out in noise! Even our best Christmas songs are overplayed to the point of semantic saturation. Nobody can even hear them anymore.
Linus: Easy there, tiger. Your bitterness is showing.
Malex: Bah, humbug!
Mara: (Sarcastic.) Thanks, Malex. With your tirade, you have definitely made me feel closer to home.
Snufflefungus: Aw, Mara, he didn’t mean it! Malex is just tired from carrying Sick Brown Riding Squirrel fifty miles!
Malex: I’m sorry, Mara. I didn’t mean to come off so strongly. (Comforting.) Think about it this way: this inn is probably very similar to the inn Jesus was born outside of. At least, this is a lot closer than anything we’d find in America today. So in some ways, we’re closer to the true meaning of Christmas than we’ve ever been before! What a perfect opportunity to soak it all in and really reflect on what it all means!
Mara: (Thoughtful.) Yeah, I guess that is true.
~~ A moment of silent reflection.
Snufflefungus: Malex, what are we reflecting on again?
Malex: Jesus coming to Earth to conquer sin, Snuffy.
Snufflefungus: Oh yeah, right!
Linus: I’m reflecting on hot soup. Well really, more fantasizing about it.
Mara: You’re a laptop. You can’t eat any soup.
Linus: That’s precisely what makes me such a sad case. Poor Linus fantasizes about soup, and he’ll never get to taste it again!
Malex: Well, I guess that was enough reflection for one day anyway. Wouldn’t want to tax anybody’s brains too hard or anything.
Snufflefungus: Yay, here comes the soup!
Linus: You guys go ahead and eat. I’ll watch.
Malex: Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writers: Alex Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers, with a guest appearance by Leela as Mara.
Post-processing director: Leela
Illustration: Peter Markley
Release manager: Peter Markley
Recording assistance: Aisling
Thanks to everyone for their help and support.