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Malex Minute 188

Malex, Linus, Snufflefungus, and Mara spend their first night outside of the spaceship. Inside a cardboard box. Will this give them the shelter they need from the great fanged beasts?! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

First of all, I admit readily: nothing that happens in this episode makes any sense. Indeed, I might even go so far as to say that it is an affront to all reason – that one’s very sanity might be in jeopardy if one approaches too closely!

But that’s really what makes it so great, isn’t it?*

Anyway, this is the Malex Minute. And things are going to continue to get weirder.

So, you know, heads-up.

ttyl!

——Alex Markley

“You made your choice, she made her choice. We all make our own choices.” —Actual quote from a real movie. A really terrible real movie.

* - Feel free not to answer rhetorical question.

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Snufflefungus: It’s like we’re playing house! Except I never liked playing house. Especially not in a doomful wasteland. But we can make it fun, right?

Mara: …Right.

Malex: Okay, so we’re safely huddled underneath our cardboard box. We’ll see how safe we are from the beasts now.

Mara: I’ll give you a hint. Not safe at all.

Malex: Here, we’ll poke a hole in the side so we can watch out for any beasts. I’m sure that’ll make you feel better.

Mara: (Sarcastic.) Oh, lots.

Linus: You aren’t scared, are you?

Mara: Yes I’m scared! I’ve been saying so all day! Anyway, aren’t you?

Linus: Nah, I’ve heard about what it’s like for somebody’s throat to get ripped out. It’s not that bad.

Mara: Okay, are you going to need to shut up very, very soon? Only you can answer this question, Linus.

Linus: You only feel pain for a few seconds. It’s not the worst way to go.

Snufflefungus: Eww.

Mara: You wanna find out the worst way to go?

Linus: And you’re an expert, are you?

Mara: If you keep pushing, you’ll find out!

Malex: Alright guys, hush! Night has officially fallen. The creatures are surely on the hunt, and if you keep making noise you’ll attract them!

Mara: Yeah, Linus.

Linus: Hey!

Snufflefungus: It’s like Little House On the Prairie! Except they had wood instead of cardboard, and it wasn’t a desert. And the wolves were smaller than these beasts. Like one eighth as big!

Malex: Okay, everyone just be quiet!

~~ Slight pause.

Snufflefungus: (Meekly.) Sorry–

Malex: Shh!

~~ Silence.

~~ Creatures snuffling about and wailing.

Mara: (Gasps, whispers.) There they are. I’m getting out the pepper spray!

Snufflefungus: We brought them down on us with our playful banter!

Linus: It’s all your fault, you know. I just thought you’d want to think about that while we all die.

Malex: (Whispers.) One’s approaching. Nobody make a sound.

~~ Scratching at cardboard.

Snufflefungus: Eep!

Linus: The pepper spray, Malex! Spray him through the hole! Quick! He’s right there!

Malex: Take that!

~~ Spraying.

~~ Creature wails.

Snufflefungus: Hey, it worked!

Mara: He’s… he’s dead!

Linus: Well, he won’t bother us again.

Mara: Because he’s dead.

Malex: Alright everybody, show’s over. Try to get some sleep. We’ll take two hour shifts watching for creatures, starting with me, then Snuffy, then Linus, then Mara. Sound good?

~~ Scene change.

Snufflefungus: (Yawns.) Good morning!

Mara: (Gasps.) Where’s Malex?

Linus: Outside.

Mara: Malex!

Malex: Unngh?

Mara: Malex, why didn’t you wake me up for my shift? Did you stay up all night?

Malex: Yes… But, it’s okay. They’re gone now…

Linus: I’m afraid he forgot to sleep.

Malex: (Dazed.) Okay guys, we need to eat breakfast and go.

Snufflefungus: Hey look! Who is that?

Nomad: Ahoy there!

Malex: Hello!

Snufflefungus: (Whispering.) He looks like some nomadic man of the wilderness! I wanna be just like that when I grow up!

Nomad: How be ye?

Malex: We be well, thank ye.

Nomad: Indeed.

Malex: And who might ye be?

Nomad: I’m me.

Malex: …I see.

Mara: Um…

Nomad: Which way go ye, hmm?

Malex: Go we this way.

Nomad: Eh?

Malex: To escape this desert.

Nomad: Nay!

Malex: Suggest ye another way?

Nomad: Yea.

Malex: Which way, I pray?

Nomad: That way.

Malex: Eh?

Nomad: Yea.

Malex: Great.

Nomad: Hey.

Malex: Hmm?

Nomad: That way’s the longest possible way out of the desert, you know.

Malex: Oh.

Nomad: (Laughs.)

Malex: Well, thank ye heartily.

Nomad: Fair well ye!

Linus: Okay, what just happened?

Mara: Could you explain that to us, Malex?

Malex: Oh, he just said that we’ve been going the longest possible way to escape the desert, and we need to turn around and go the exact opposite way.

Mara: I told you I had a bad feeling about this direction.

Snufflefungus: Yay, we get to spend one more night near the spaceship!

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Peter Markley and Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers, with a guest appearance by Leela as Mara.

Post-processing director: Leela

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Drew Reed

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio2.8 MB Download Now - 2.8 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration162.33 KB Download Now - 162.33 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

<^.^< >^.^> *^.^*

MADNESS! ^__^

A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous.

Poor Mara....

I really identify with her on this one....

My favorite lines were when Linus and Mara were going back and forth. It was morbid....but funny!

God gave us music, that we might pray without words

Banter

I liked this episode very much. The banter was really funny, no matter which characters were participating. This was my very favorite:

Linus: Nah, I’ve heard about what it’s like for somebody’s throat to get ripped out. It’s not that bad.

Mara: Okay, are you going to need to shut up very, very soon? Only you can answer this question, Linus.

Linus: You only feel pain for a few seconds. It’s not the worst way to go.

Snufflefungus: Eww.

Mara: You wanna find out the worst way to go?

Linus: And you’re an expert, are you?

Mara: If you keep pushing, you’ll find out!

I don't know. The fact that there's intelligent life on the planet somehow gives me hope. That nomadic guy might be a member of an advanced race who could send our heroes home. But...there's still all that trouble waiting for them on Earth...

Oh well. I'll just wait to see how it all ends. I'm still holding out for candy and joy.

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

<(o.o)< ... ^(o.o)^ ... >(o.o)>

Seussishness FTW!

Everything looks perfect from far away.

LOL!!

Linus: The pepper spray, Malex! Spray him through the hole! Quick! He’s right there!

Malex: Take that!

~~ Spraying.

~~ Creature wails.

Snufflefungus: Hey, it worked!

Mara: He’s… he’s dead!

Linus: Well, he won’t bother us again.

Mara: Because he’s dead.

lol I like this part =D Oh and Leela, the sound effect is spectacular ;) XD

The cardboard box is nice and big, which is good :P I like how Malex stayed out all night keeping watch... poor guy...

This was a great, quipp-y episode which achieved little except that they need to turn around. =D Typical, hilarious Minute material XD

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

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