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Malex Minute 185

Malex and friends find water! But the danger! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

Wow, this episode was hard to produce! This one sits at the beginning of a series of episodes that were cranked out under enormous pressure at almost the very last minute. And yet, like with coal, that enormous pressure has seemingly produced a series of gems.

The water our heroes so desperately need to survive has been found. Now they need… What? Surely they still plan to escape? But where will they find parts for their crippled spaceship? Regardless, they can’t survive in the middle of the desert forever, even if they have found a reliable source of water!

We will have to wait and see what happens next week. Until then, enjoy!

ttyl!

——Alex Markley

Salt! Salty, salty salt!

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Mara: Okay, so… what’s the plan again?

Malex: The plan! (Conspiratorially.) First, we lie in wait all night for the horrifying creatures Linus was talking about.

Snufflefungus: Check!

Malex: Second, when said creatures arrive, we try whatever crazy mind tricks you and Snufflefungus know to find out where the creatures’ water supply is.

Mara: (Expectant verbal nod.)

Malex: Finally, we go to that water supply and return triumphantly; fresh, drinkable water in hand!

Linus: And that’s where I get lost.

Mara: Me too.

Snufflefungus: Eclairs!

Malex: What aren’t you following?

Linus: So we’re going to secretly listen in on the thoughts of those ravenous fang-beasts from the safety of this crashed space ship, but after that we abandon all reason, waltz right into their territory, and steal their water from under their noses?

Mara: Malex, your plans are bad.

Malex: Well look, when you put it that way, it doesn’t sound very…

Linus: Hush, here they come!

Snufflefungus: Oh boy! I can make new friends now!

Malex: Uh–

Mara: Snuffy, why don’t you make new friends some other time?

~~ Creatures snuffling about and wailing.

Mara: (More hushed.) Right now, let’s just listen to their thoughts.

Snufflefungus: Aw, poor things. They’re hungry!

Linus: Uh–

Snufflefungus: That one is thinking, “Oh boy, I hope I get to eat tonight!” That one over there is thinking, “I haven’t had a good meal for a week!”

Mara: Uh–

Malex: Snuffy, we don’t want to hear what they’re thinking.

Snufflefungus: (Cheerfully.) Okay!

Mara: Snuffy, let’s try making one of them think that he’s thirsty. Do you think you can help me with that?

Snufflefungus: Salt! Salty, salty salt!

~~ Creature wails.

Mara: That works… I guess.

Snufflefungus: Did you hear that?! He imagined the whole path back to their water supply!

Linus: Quick! Remember it! Don’t forget it! Don’t let anything distract you!

Malex: Just draw a map, Snuffy. We’ll get some sleep and then in the morning we’ll go get some water!

~~ Scene change.

Linus: Why did you volunteer me for this?! It’s bad enough I’ve had to live so many years with you, now we have to die together too?!

Malex: I’m glad to be out for a walk with you too, Linus. Your confidence is so inspiring.

Linus: Look buddy, sarcasm is my line, and I say this situation is far too… situation-y for sarcasm!

Malex: You’re right, of course. We’re on a mission of life and death! If we don’t find water and bring it back, we’ll be out soon! And then we’ll all die!

~~ Awkward silence.

Linus: (Clears throat.)

Malex: Okay, so you won’t die. But that’s just because you’re a laptop and you don’t need water!

Linus: But ironically, I can die from being mauled by horrifying beasts! So whose idea was it for me to come on a suicide mission to retrieve the water that I don’t need? Hmm?!

Malex: Maybe I just wanted your company.

Linus: Huh! I find that highly– Really?

Malex: It’s just possible.

~~ Contemplative silence.

Linus: (Chided.) Let me see that map, anyway.

Malex: Here it is. Snuffy drew it in a hurry.

Linus: Not too much of a hurry, obviously. Just look at those smiley faces.

Malex: No, he explained that to me. Apparently… Aha! See there in the distance? We’re definitely headed in the right direction.

Linus: The smiley faces are natural geological formations?

Malex: I’d guess. We’ve no time to study them today, we need to continue another mile or two past them and we should find a cave. Inside that cave is supposedly where we’ll find the water.

Linus: So why didn’t Mara, Snuffy, and I find all this stuff? We searched for days!

Malex: My guess is that you got turned around and just didn’t search as thoroughly as you thought you did. It’s not like there are a lot of geographical features for reference points out here. You probably just made a few wide circles.

Linus: That makes sense, I guess. If only my GPS was working!

Malex: (Chuckles.) Yeah, if only.

Linus: I think we need to complain to the manufacturer when we get back. It’s totally in warranty.

Malex: You realize it can’t possibly function without the GPS satellites in orbit, right?

Linus: What?! You mean… Of course! I still think it’s broken. But not because of that. … I’m not telling you why.

Malex: Alright. We’ve got a long walk ahead of us.

~~ Scene change.

Malex: Okay! Here’s the cave, and–

Linus: (Whispering.) Why don’t you talk louder, Malex? I think you could really wake them all up if you tried.

Malex: (Whispering.) There have got to be a hundred of those horrible creatures in here!

Linus: (Whispering.) So they sleep near the water. Doesn’t that make sense?

Malex: (Whispering.) But why do they have to be surrounding it?!

Linus: (Whispering.) Oh hush and draw some water already, will you?

Malex: (Whispering.) Alright, but if we survive I’m making you carry all of it!

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers, with a guest appearance by Leela as Mara.

Post-processing director: Leela

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Drew Reed

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

NameSizeAction
Episode Audio3.18 MB Download Now - 3.18 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration122.87 KB Download Now - 122.87 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

Lilly's picture

ROFL!

I love the Malex Linus interaction XD My favorite lines were:

Malex: Maybe I just wanted your company.

Linus: Huh! I find that highly– Really?

Malex: It’s just possible.

~~ Contemplative silence.

Linus: (Chided.) Let me see that map, anyway.

And i love the water and the light in the picture, it looks like the water is just faintly glowing and lighting up the cave. The past few episodes have been so amazingly funny! I'd say they're some of the best episodes ever. :-J

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Please use your handkerchief,

0_0 Please use your handkerchief, my good man!

The UnDude

Peter's picture

*lol*

Thanks everybody, I'm glad you liked it! XD

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

*lol*

IMAO, this isn't the funniest episode but I like it =D I can't imagine Linus carrying a bucket of water o_o he might spill it on his keyboard and not be able to do anything! :O

:P I really really really really like the drawing. =D The reflection of the water is great! The only thing I don't like is how bright it is. There's not much light shining into the cave but the water is bright...

Linus is a great 3D :D I like the angle you drew him at, Qz.

Say...what kind of knot is that? It doesn't look terribly sturdy...neither does the bucket... o_o *holds her breath and wills the bucket to stay tied on.... :S*

Those ferocious animals look truly ferocious. I wouldn't want to get within ten feet of those teeth unless I had a weapon >.> 0_0

Thanks for this one, M's :) sometime's it's those not-so-funny ones that put the whole story together...

But. despite whatever I'm saying, I think this episode is funny. just not ROFL funny ;)

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

Water at last!

Whew, what a relief. I was very worried about our heroes.

I agree with Gnnb. This was not a ROFL-funny episode. But it doesn't matter. I had to find out what was going to happen. Besides, it had its moments. Like this one:

Linus: I think we need to complain to the manufacturer when we get back. It’s totally in warranty.

Malex: You realize it can’t possibly function without the GPS satellites in orbit, right?

Linus: What?! You mean… Of course! I still think it’s broken. But not because of that. … I’m not telling you why.

I love it when Linus acts like a child. He can be so cute!

And this:

Linus: Look buddy, sarcasm is my line, and I say this situation is far too… situation-y for sarcasm!

Hmm....Interesting. It seems that Linus had most of the funny lines this week. Good work, Linus!

Great work, everyone. That includes you, Mad Hatter! And I have to agree with everyone, Quartz. The illustration is wonderful!

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

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