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Malex Minute 181

With Snufflefungus in the clutches of the evil government organization, Malex and Linus turn to the only hope they have left! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

And so, Snufflefungus continues to mess with the poor, fragile minds of the wicked, wicked PSA, Malex and Linus have turned to Mara for help, and nothing in Heaven or on Earth can justify the length of this sentence.* Isn’t this fun?!

I should point out, at this point, that my favorite character ever is Gabe’s PSA Agent, also known (in the Transcript) simply as ‘Shadow.’ He has great potential to win a great many, “Creepy Voice of the Year” awards, and yet somehow fails completely to be in any way menacing. Perhaps it has something to do with him playing Jimmy the Flautist in Snufflefungus’s play?

In any event, the circumstances are dire and we’re barreling toward a climax! Can the situation possibly get any more desperate? Any less sane?! We shall find out, my friends. We shall find out during the Quarter Fourteen Finale, coming next week!

In the meantime, enjoy this week’s episode! We worked hard on it.

ttyl!

——Alex Markley

“Jimmy has lupus!”

* - Not that it’s a particularly long sentence; it’s just that the amount of (completely redundant) information it conveys cannot justify its length.

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Snufflefungus: Let’s see… It– It’s a smiley! And the middle one is a wailing goat, and that one on the end is a duckie!

Shadow A: As you can see, sir, the subject displays quite an aptitude in the realms of both telepathy and telekinesis.

Shadow B: Good. I wonder what other abilities are buried in that little fuzzball.

Shadow A: I don’t know, but whatever they are, we’ll dig them up. (Dissolves into evil laughter.)

Shadow B: (Laughs with Shadow A.)

Shadow A: I love you man. I just love you so much.

Shadow B: Okay well, um…

Shadow A: I don’t know why I said that.

Shadow B: Just get back to work.

Shadow A: Yes sir.

Shadow B: Let me know when you have more progress.

Shadow A: Yes sir. (Pauses.) Come on, Snufflefungus. It’s time for your shots.

Snufflefungus: But I don’t want any shots!

Shadow A: Okay! What would you like to do?

Snufflefungus: Let’s tell jokes! What did the elephant say to the dodo?

Shadow A: (Laughs like it’s funny.) That’s a good one! That’s a killer. Oh, I’ve got one!

~~ Scene change.

Mara: So Snufflefungus has been kidnapped, probably by those pigs at the PSA, but you don’t know for sure and you want me to help you find him?

Malex: That’s about the long and the short of it.

Linus: PSA?

Mara: The Psychic Security Agency. It’s supposed to be a secret, but they’re stupid.

Malex: Mara, we’re desperate. I know you don’t like me very much, but I’m begging you.

Mara: Oh Malex, our petty squabbles are meaningless in the face of something like this! I would do anything to help Snuffy! Then, once Snuffy’s safe, we can get back to our feuding.

Malex: Sounds like a plan.

Linus: No it doesn’t! I still have no idea what we’re supposed to do now! Do we just plug her into the GPS? Put an antenna on her head? Hows about we magnetize her, float her in the pool, and see which way she points?!

Mara: You know, you’re a disrespectful piece of garbage. And I’m never gonna stop hating you.

Malex: Hey now, ladies, let’s retract the claws shall we?

Linus: Aw why don’t you go flush your ridiculous hairdo?

Malex: (Angry.) Hey, just because you’re a laptop doesn’t mean I can’t punch you! I can punch you!

Linus: (Yelps.)

Mara: Guys, guys! We’re all a little on edge with Snuffy missing. I suggest we do our best to stay productive.

Linus: (Hurriedly.) I agree! (Argumentatively.) But only grudgingly, because otherwise Malex might bash me!

Malex: (Sighs.) So what do we do, Mara?

Mara: Well, rumor has it that PSA has a bunker deep underneath the basement of the waterfront tower.

Linus: Great! Let’s go!

Mara: (Scared.) No! I mean, I– I’m afraid to go near that place.

Malex: Mara, please. You’re the only one who can sense for sure if Snufflefungus is inside that building.

Mara: (Still afraid.) But, we’d have to get really close.

Malex: I know.

Linus: Come on, don’t be a loser.

Malex: You shut up.

Mara: (Sighs.) Okay, I’ll do it.

Malex: Thank you! Thank you. I’ll– We’ll be sure to protect you, won’t we Linus? So you’ll have nothing to fear.

Mara: (Sarcastic.) Great. Now I feel better.

~~ Scene change.

Snufflefungus: Now remember, she’s the love of your life!

Shadow A: (Acting as Jim.) Oh, Jenny! I just thought you did a marvelous job on the mandolin.

Snufflefungus: (Acting as Jenny.) Thanks, Jim! You weren’t bad on the flute yourself.

Shadow A: (Acting as Jim.) I might be able to play an instrument, Jenny, but you’re the only gal I’ve ever seen make one sing. And you look pretty doing it, too.

Snufflefungus: (Acting as Jenny.) Oh Jim, stop! You’ll make me blush! (Stops acting. Very excited.) So act two closes with them falling in love! Now we begin act three, wherein we discover that Jimmy has lupus!

Shadow A: (Gasps.) Lupus? No!

Snufflefungus: Yes. I’m sorry, but this is the way it has to be.

~~ Scene change.

Mara: Yup, he’s here.

Linus: How do you know?!

Mara: I hear show tunes.

Malex: Hmm. Sounds like Snuffy alright.

Linus: So we’re in the basement of the waterfront tower, we’ve found this deeply unsettling concrete door which can only be the entrance to the villain’s lair, and we have no possible way to get in. Now what?

Malex: Can’t you just hack it or something?

Linus: (Sarcastic.) Sure! I’ll just hack– (Rebuking.) No! I can’t hack it, what Hollywood garbage have you been watching?!

Mara: I’m glad I’m working with professionals here.

Malex: But you did it before! Remember? When we went to rescue Icepunk from the–

Linus: That didn’t count! I was breaking into my own ex-employer’s lair! I knew all the codes!

~~ Awkward silence.

Malex: So what do we do?

Linus: Good question, genius.

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers, with guest appearance by Leela as Mara.

Post-processing director: Leela

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Drew Reed

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio3.11 MB Download Now - 3.11 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration144.9 KB Download Now - 144.9 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

xD

Malex's thoughts said:

I should point out, at this point, that my favorite character ever is Gabe’s PSA Agent, also known (in the Transcript) simply as “Shadow.” He has great potential to win a great many, “Creepy Voice of the Year” awards, and yet somehow fails completely to be in any way menacing. Perhaps it has something to do with him playing Jimmy the Flautist in Snufflefungus’s play?

I must agree :-D XD

Unfortunately, I know of no "Creepy Voice of the Year" contest...perhaps we should start our own ;)

As for the Minute...

My favorite part is probably:

Mara: Oh Malex, our petty squabbles are meaningless in the face of something like this! I would do anything to help Snuffy! Then, once Snuffy’s safe, we can get back to our feuding.

Malex: Sounds like a plan.

Linus: No it doesn’t! I still have no idea what we’re supposed to do now! Do we just plug her into the GPS? Put an antenna on her head? Hows about we magnetize her, float her in the pool, and see which way she points?!

Mara: You know, you’re a disrespectful piece of garbage. And I’m never gonna stop hating you.

Malex: Hey now, ladies, let’s retract the claws shall we?

Linus: Aw why don’t you go flush your ridiculous hairdo?

Malex: (Angry.) Hey, just because you’re a laptop doesn’t mean I can’t punch you! I can punch you!

Linus: (Yelps.)

XD It probably sounds weird but some of my favorite parts are the insults, especially between these three characters XD

....lol, Mara looks like a superhero or something, the way the sun's shining on her :P

OMW! Malex's hairdo is AMAZING!! XD

I like the sun ^_^ the whole sky looks fantastic =D

Great work, all! It's nice to hear Leela's voice again :)

The Shadows are still amazing =D

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

Himself's picture

Perfect ;-)

The best episode so far this story arc... I can't wait to hear the finale! =P

Lo, blessed are our ears for they have heard;

Yea, blessed are our eyes for they have seen:

Let the thunder break on man and beast and bird

And the lightning. It is something to have been.

Wonderful!

Mara said:

Well, rumor has it that PSA has a bunker deep underneath the basement of the waterfront tower.

What waterfront tower? And why does it have a basement?

Shadow A said:

Come on, Snufflefungus. It’s time for your shots.

0_0 :-O What did they have in mind for poor Snuffy? It's a good thing the Shadow is so distractable.

This episode is very funny, guys. You just seem to be on a roll lately. Great work by everyone.

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

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