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Malex Minute 180

Snuffy is kidnapped! Whatever shall we do?! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

Wow, it’s been quite a while since the last time we published a Malex Minute episode without a Malex’s Thoughts section. I had an early morning meeting today, and I forgot all about the Malex Minute until Peter called me in the middle of the night to find out what I was doing.

Little did he know, I was sleeping. And at that precise moment, I didn’t really care if the episode was released with Malex’s Thoughts or not.

So, this is the episode where everything finally starts to come together. For months we’ve been leading up to this point! All of my careful planning has resulted in this: Snufflefungus being kidnapped.

I’d tell you what happens next, but that would spoil the grand finale! We can’t spoil the grand finale, can we?

Also, cowtapult. For the win.

And that’s it! I’m at work now. So I need to do work. And that kinda translates to, “I can’t reasonably do much more writing and feel good about it later.”

I hope you enjoy this week’s episode, and be sure to come back next week to hear the continuation of the grand story arc!

ttyl!

——Alex Markley

“Good grief. Where did you get that nose?”

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Linus: Malex, wake up!

Malex: (Sleepy.) Unngh?

Linus: Wake up!

Malex: (Sleepy.) But I don’t want to shovel any more manure!

Linus: Snufflefungus is missing!

Malex: (Wide awake.) What?!

Linus: He’s not on the farm. I can’t find him anywhere. They must have taken him!

Malex: Who?!

Linus: Well, let’s see. Could it have been one of the millions of people who thought Snuffy owed them money? Could it have been the international ring of illegal fur traders who have taken a liking to Snuffy’s fur? Or could it have been the creepy government guy who wanted Snuffy for his powers? The answer is yes! It could have been anybody!

Malex: Right, but who could have possibly known where we are?! The coffee cups put us right in the middle of nowhere!

Linus: Yes, but apparently these tiny tracking devices even work in the middle of nowhere.

Malex: Tiny tracking device? Let me see that!

Linus: Ethel smacked it off of Snufflefungus, remember? I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but when Snuffy went missing I found the pieces out in the yard and put two-and-two together.

Malex: Darn it all! They must have tracked the signal from this right to us!

Linus: …Yes, Malex, that’s what a tracking device is for.

Malex: Well who could have possibly planted this on Snufflefungus? Who could have had the opportunity?

Linus: It depends on how long it was there! It’s pretty small.

Malex: It couldn’t have been long, or whoever it was would have tracked us down sooner.

Linus: Wait! Remember when President Anchorman was rambling about Snuffy’s fur in the hotel room? Didn’t he run his hand through Snuffy’s fur then?

Malex: Yes! The cur!

Linus: The politically correct term is ‘Drunken Puppet.’

Malex: So that government organization must have him!

Linus: Congratulations. Now what?

Malex: Well I don’t know! (Getting hysterical.) Isn’t the next clue supposed to drop out of the ceiling or something?! (Hysterical.) I’m not an expert in these things!

Linus: Pull yourself together, man! You’ve been through more adventures in your first few decades than most men will ever experience in their whole lives! I’ve been at your side as you saved the planet! I’ve been at your side as you destroyed an entire race of oppressive aliens!

Malex: I’m not really proud of that, or anything…

Linus: Well blame Icepunk then. Still, I’ve seen you do great things! You can do this! We’re all–

Malex: Shut up, I just had a brilliant idea! Where are Ethel and Jobadiah?

Linus: They’re out back building a new cowtapult. Apparently the last one broke when Ethel made that meat for supper last night.

Malex: Come on! We need to borrow their truck! We haven’t a moment to lose!

~~ Scene change.

Snufflefungus: (Gasps.) Where am I?!

Shadow: You are in our clutches.

Snufflefungus: Oh no! Can I have some ice cream?

Shadow: No. Our clutches are not hospitable.

Snufflefungus: Aw. Well, can I have my teddy?

Shadow: Why–? No! We didn’t think to bring it.

Snufflefungus: Well, what can I have?

Shadow: You want a soda? I think we’ve got some in the break room today.

Snufflefungus: Ooh, yes, please!

Shadow: I’ll be right back.

Snufflefungus: Take your time!

~~ Scene change.

Linus: Oh no. No.

Malex: What’s wrong?

Linus: This is your idea?! What’s wrong with you?!

Malex: What? Snuffy could be anywhere in greater Ohioville! How else are we going to find him?

Linus: (Sputtering.) But– But she’s– she’s– annoying! And you hate her too!

Malex: Yes well, but we just have to look past the hate and realize that she’s the only one who can help us find Snuffy!

~~ Front door opens.

Mara: What are you guys doing on my porch?

Malex: Hey! I– I didn’t even get a chance to knock!

Mara: Well, the psychic storm you two were giving off was a little bit more effective.

Linus: You heard me… telepathically?

Mara: Yes.

Linus: I’m alive! I’m alive! I knew if I was good I would become a real boy! Now it’s finally coming true!

Malex: Mara, there’s only so much creepy I can stand in one day. Will you please go back in there and not open up until after I knock?

Mara: If it’ll make your small mind feel better, sure.

Malex: It will, thank you.

~~ Mara closes door.

Linus: She heard me telepathically! I’ve never felt so validated! I think I’m in love…

Malex: Will you give it a rest already? (Knocks on door.)

~~ Mara opens door.

Mara: Okay, so you knocked. Congratulations. What brings you over here?

Malex: Mara, Snuffy is in trouble.

Mara: (Troubled.) Snuffy’s in trouble? How? What happened?

Linus: He was kidnapped, okay? By bad men.

Malex: We think it was the government.

Linus: And their stupid tracking device!

Malex: Because the president–

Mara: Hold on! Hold on. Slow down and tell me what happened.

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley (With input from Gabriel Markley.)

Voices: Markley Brothers, with guest appearance by Leela as Mara.

Post-processing director: Leela

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Drew Reed

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio3.05 MB Download Now - 3.05 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration252.79 KB Download Now - 252.79 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

Awesome ^_^

it's been a while since I laughed out loud at a Minute ^_^

Favorite lines:

Malex: I’m not really proud of that, or anything…

Linus: Well blame Icepunk then.

Snufflefungus: (Gasps.) Where am I?!

Shadow: You are in our clutches.

Snufflefungus: Oh no! Can I have some ice cream?

Shadow: No. Our clutches are not hospitable.

Snufflefungus: Aw. Well, can I have my teddy?

Shadow: Why–? No! We didn’t think to bring it.

Snufflefungus: Well, what can I have?

Shadow: You want a soda? I think we’ve got some in the break room today.

Snufflefungus: Ooh, yes, please!

Shadow: I’ll be right back.

Snufflefungus: Take your time!

Linus: You heard me… telepathically?

Mara: Yes.

Linus: I’m alive! I’m alive! I knew if I was good I would become a real boy! Now it’s finally coming true!

=D

A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous.

LOL!!!!!

XD I agree with DragonMan, this one's hilarious! I love the ending =D

This is one of the best in the past few months =D

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

Lilly's picture

ROFL!!! This whole episode

ROFL!!! This whole episode was so funny! If I tried to put up all my favorite bits I'd just copy and paste the entire transcript X-D

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Amazing!

You guys were in rare form this time! The episode is just hilarious. My favorite parts were the same ones Dragonman cited. I laughed out loud a lot.

Great job, everyone! It's good to hear Leela in the Minute.

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Himself's picture

haha awesome episode xD

I agree... It's one of my favorites =P

After 45 minutes of nothing but listening, I'm finally caught up. But... now I have to *wait* to hear the next episode! Nooooo!

Am I incorrect, or is this pretty much the longest continuing story arc yet? I just got to hear the whole thing in one sitting, which was pretty cool ;-)

Lo, blessed are our ears for they have heard;

Yea, blessed are our eyes for they have seen:

Let the thunder break on man and beast and bird

And the lightning. It is something to have been.

Whoa...

I love your new sig, Himself :-J

Himself's signature said:

There are hard wars and easy wars. It's easy to conquer a country whose people hate their own government more than they hate the invaders. It's hard to fight a war when your army knows that back home, their families are rooting for the other side.

That's sad but true... :-/

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

Peter's picture

Hehe

Thanks for the comments, everybody! :D

I think the Quarter Three story arc was definitely longer so far. :)

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

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