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Malex Minute 178

Malex, Linus, and Snufflefungus are saved from their predicament by coffee cups! Or are they…? Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

Maybe I’m just an anti-climactic guy. Yes, that could be it. In point of fact, this episode was in the outline all along. It’s not a cop-out or anything, I really did intend for the coffee cups to come along and save the day.

At least, save this day. There will be other days, and I guarantee* you, the coffee cups will not always be there to save them. Or, even, to save our heroes during them.**

So, heroes, enjoy the respite! Who knows how long it will last?

Oh, that’s right. Me.***

Enjoy! ttyl!

——Alex Markley

“He claimed to be, ‘as happy as an elf on Chinese New Year.’ That’s about when we started to suspect he wasn’t actually the ambassador.”

* - Not a legally binding contract.

** - This language is like a playground. It fills me with warm, syrupy joy.

*** - Can you tell I’m all happy with myself for planning this thing all out more than two weeks in advance?

Transcript

~~ Introduction

~~ Reality Popping Sound

Malex: What?! What happened?

Linus: One minute, we were in the hotel room, with that creepy government guy standing over us! The next minute we’re… Where are we?

Snufflefungus: Is he gone?

Malex: Yes, the creepy government man is gone.

Linus: Malex, what is wrong with the walls?

Malex: The paint appears to be slowly sliding along them at a sideways and slightly upward angle.

Linus: I can see that. What could cause that?

Snufflefungus: Coffee cups!

Malex: No, there’s no way. Honestly, those guys give me the willies, and if I have to face off with them one more time I may explode.

Snufflefungus: No, I mean–

Malex: Enigmatic and weird; and with all that cryptic banter you’d think they’re something special! Well they’re not, I tell ya’!

Coffee Cup 1: Ahem.

Coffee Cup 2: Yes, Ahem.

Malex: Coffee cups! How nice it is to see you again!

Coffee Cup 1: This one has an ugly face.

Coffee Cup 2: Yes, an ugly face. And an ugly heart.

Coffee Cup 1: Yes, an ugly, ugly heart.

Linus: I hate to break it to you, Malex, but I think they’re on to your lies.

Snufflefungus: Did you coffee cups save us from the scary government man?!

Coffee Cup 1: Yes.

Coffee Cup 2: No.

~~ Short pause.

Coffee Cup 1: No.

Coffee Cup 2: Yes.

Coffee Cup 1: We are in disagreement.

Coffee Cup 2: What do we do?

Coffee Cup 1: I fear it must dissolve into fisticuffs.

Coffee Cup 2: But we haven’t any fists.

Coffee Cup 1: We could berate one another verbally.

Coffee Cup 2: Yes, we could berate one another verbally.

Coffee Cup 1: We are in agreement again. (Simultaneously with Coffee Cup 2) Problem solved.

Coffee Cup 2: (Simultaneously with Coffee Cup 1) Problem solved.

Malex: So you did save us from the scary government man?

Coffee Cup 1: Tentatively, yes.

Coffee Cup 2: Yes, tentatively.

Snufflefungus: Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Linus: That’s all well and good, but why would you save us?

Coffee Cup 1: We heard your screaming and knew your hour of trial was at hand.

Coffee Cup 2: Yes, hour of trial. We were staying in the hotel for our vacation.

Coffee Cup 1: Our vacation from ourselves.

Malex: That’s sad and a little disturbing, but we’re glad you picked us up.

Coffee Cup 2: Think nothing of it.

Coffee Cup 1: Yes, think nothing of it. It was no trouble.

Coffee Cup 2: Yes, no trouble at all.

Coffee Cup 1: We’ll just put you back now.

Snufflefungus: (Screams.)

Malex: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don’t put us back! The scary government guy will find us!

Coffee Cup 1: So?

Linus: The reason we’re grateful to you for picking us up is because we don’t want to die.

Coffee Cup 1: Oh.

Coffee Cup 2: Well.

Coffee Cup 1: We just wanted to visit you one last time before your hour of trial.

Coffee Cup 2: Yes, your hour of trial. Where you bite the proverbial ‘big one.’

Snufflefungus: (Screams.)

Coffee Cup 2: Stop doing that, you’re piercing our ears.

Coffee Cup 1: Yes, piercing our ears.

Malex: I have a better idea. Why don’t you put us back somewhere different?

Coffee Cup 1: It’s not going to change anything.

Coffee Cup 2: No, it’s not going to change anything. You’re still all doomed.

Malex: Yes, right, but if we could be doomed in a less doomy sort of way, I think that would help a lot.

Coffee Cup 1: Well.

Coffee Cup 2: Yes, well.

Coffee Cup 1: We could do something.

Coffee Cup 2: Yes, we could do something.

Coffee Cup 1: If we were to send you somewhere less doomy, would you scream less when the doom finally comes?

Linus: Scream less?

Coffee Cup 2: It’s really piercing.

Coffee Cup 1: Yes, really piercing.

Malex: Sure, we’ll scream less.

Snufflefungus: So you’ll send us somewhere less doomy?

Coffee Cup 1: Yes.

Coffee Cup 2: Yes.

Linus: Great. Where–?

~~ Reality Popping Sound

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Leela

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio2.33 MB Download Now - 2.33 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration158.46 KB Download Now - 158.46 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

Ah, coffee cups...

Always so horrific... Always so fascinating... ^_^

A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous.

Oh dear

I listened to this a couple hours ago and after listening to it again I just realized that Malex and friends just handed over there fate to the coffee cups definition of "less doomy". I don't know about the rest of you, but that sounds like a potently not good situation. :-O

Great episode guys. Can't wait to hear where you take it. :)

Yay, coffee cups!

Snufflefungus: Did you coffee cups save us from the scary government man?!

Coffee Cup 1: Yes.

Coffee Cup 2: No.

~~ Short pause.

Coffee Cup 1: No.

Coffee Cup 2: Yes.

Coffee Cup 1: We are in disagreement.

Coffee Cup 2: What do we do?

Coffee Cup 1: I fear it must dissolve into fisticuffs.

Coffee Cup 2: But we haven’t any fists.

Coffee Cup 1: We could berate one another verbally.

Coffee Cup 2: Yes, we could berate one another verbally.

Coffee Cup 1: We are in agreement again. (Simultaneously with Coffee Cup 2) Problem solved.

Coffee Cup 2: (Simultaneously with Coffee Cup 1) Problem solved.

X-D X-D X-D X-D X-D X-D X-D X-D

And I have no idea why, but I love the "reality popping sound."

“He claimed to be, ‘as happy as an elf on Chinese New Year.’ That’s about when we started to suspect he wasn’t actually the ambassador.” That's amazing. I love it!!!

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Oh Wow

Linus: I can see that. What could cause that?

Snufflefungus: Coffee cups!

Malex: No, there’s no way. Honestly, those guys give me the willies, and if I have to face off with them one more time I may explode.

Snufflefungus: No, I mean–

Malex: Enigmatic and weird; and with all that cryptic banter you’d think they’re something special! Well they’re not, I tell ya!

Coffee Cup 1: Ahem.

Coffee Cup 2: Yes, Ahem.

Malex: Coffee cups! How nice it is to see you again!

thats so funny!

to Him we are more precious than rubies/emeralds/diamonds/amysist/any gem

Alex's picture

Yay!

I'm so glad people are enjoying this episode. It was a lot of fun to write, and I really hoped some of that fun carried over into the finished product.

Thank you all for your comments, too. They're always very encouraging.

ttyl!

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Late Commer!

Ok, great minute guys! The fact that you let your lives depend on the coffee cups though....is worry some!

God gave us music, that we might pray without words

Yay!!

It's not that I like for Snuffy to be in danger, but it's just so cute when he screams!

Which two of you do the coffee cups, again? It's amazing.

Malex, you just sound...I don't know...perkier during this episode. I like it.

My favorite part was the part Aisling quoted. That had me laughing out loud.

Let's hope our heroes are headed for a situation that they can at least get out of in one piece. Or in three pieces. Or safely, at any rate.

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Peter's picture

Hehe, thanks a lot!

SangMing said:

Which two of you do the coffee cups, again? It's amazing.

That'd be Malex and I. :-J

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

LOL!!!!!!!!

Great episode, everyone!! XD

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

Lilly's picture

The reality popping noise

The reality popping noise sounds like the coffee cups just smacked them all at once =P

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

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