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Malex Minute 173

The world wants free money from Snufflefungus! Whatever will he do?! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

Never code irresponsibly in the middle of the night when you should be sleeping. Alternatively, always code irresponsibly in the middle of the night when you should be sleeping! I do it all the time, and look at me now!*

This new episode represents a new height of hilarity to me. Snufflefungus’s solution seems so near to – and yet so very far from – anything that might stand a snowball’s chance in the oven of actually succeeding.

By my reckoning, Malex has quite a legitimate reason to be upset. Upset with Snuffy, even! And yet, it is perfectly in character for Snufflefungus to do what he did. It’s so in line with his golden, yet dangerously naive, heart.

Fascinating! I guess we’ll just have to wait until next week to see what happens next!

ttyl!

——Alex Markley

“But how did your tongue end up all the way over there?!”

* - If you were to look at me at this precise moment, you would see a soaking wet man whose eyes are nearly swollen shut with exhaustion. Draw your own conclusion.

Transcript

~~ Introduction

~~ Knock on the door.

Malex: Arrgh! Not another one!

Snufflefungus: I’ll get it! (Opens door.)

Linus: You’d better. This is your problem, after all.

Snufflefungus: (Cheerfully.) Hello there, snot-nosed youngin’ What can I do for you?

Child: Hi there fuzz wad! I heard you have money!

Snufflefungus: That is true.

Child: Can I have some money?!

Snufflefungus: Yes. Yes you may. Here is five dollars. Now go and make something of yourself!

Child: (Laughs.) I’m gonna go buy some cigarettes!

Snufflefungus: Such a delightful lad! (Closes door.)

Linus: I’m pretty sure I just heard an angel screaming in agony.

Malex: You really think you’re doing good deeds, don’t you Snufflefungus?

Snufflefungus: Of course!

Malex: Isn’t that, like, the fiftieth time you’ve given away money this week?!

Snufflefungus: (Cheerfully.) Eighty-ninth!

Linus: But why?! I have so many better ideas on how we could spend your money!

Malex: Linus, all of your ideas are illegal.

Linus: Not all of them! What about the dog machine?!

Malex: That one is especially illegal.

Linus: Aw.

Snufflefungus: Malex, it is our duty to help those less fortunate than ourselves.

Malex: Snufflefungus, many of your ‘less fortunate’ have driven up to the house in luxury SUVs. I know because my front lawn is permanently ruined by their distinctive tracks.

Linus: Aw, poor baby.

Malex: Snuffy, haven’t you ever heard of ‘enablement?’

Snufflefungus: Nope!

Malex: Besides, if you’ve started giving money away to random strangers, why don’t you order me a nice new spaceship to replace the one that you and Linus deconstructed? (Don’t remember? Check out Malex Minute 116! ——Amazing Alex)

Snufflefungus: Already done! Your new spaceship is sitting in the garage!

Malex: Oh wow. Thanks!

Linus: What about me?! When do I get something nice?!

~~ Knock on the door.

Malex: (Desperate.) Snuffy, these people are terrorizing us! Every waking moment somebody is trying to break into the house or, worse yet, knocking on the door and asking for money! This really has to stop!

Snufflefungus: I won’t answer it this time. I’ll just slip a twenty through the mail slot.

Guy: (Muffled through the door.) Thank you!

Malex: When will it end?!

Snufflefungus: Tomorrow!

Malex: Good. How do you plan on putting a stop to it by tomorrow?

Snufflefungus: By holding a free money conference tonight!

Linus: Is that why I saw our address on every news wire over the past week?

Snufflefungus: Yep! This will be the world’s first Grand International Conference on Charity and the Distribution of Free Money to Every Person Ever! Or GICCDFMEPE, for short! And it’s happening right in our front yard!

Malex: (Screams extensively.)

Linus: Breath there buddy. You just gotta concentrate on breathing.

Snufflefungus: It was the only way to solve the problem! People were going to come and take the money anyway. This way, we can give everybody the money they need!

Linus: We can?

Snufflefungus: Yes! This is the fastest way to solving every problem! I can give everybody the money they need, and then they will leave me alone! I’ll probably even have a couple million left over!

Malex: Snuffy…

Snufflefungus: And the best part is, by hosting a free money conference, we can eliminate all the fuss!

Malex: Eliminate all the fuss?! You think you’re eliminating all the fuss?!

Snufflefungus: Everyone will just get in an orderly line! There won’t be any shoving or anything!

Linus: How does that work, exactly?

Snufflefungus: Oh, don’t worry, Linus! I trust the human spirit! It’s full of good inside!

Linus: Funny, I’ve come to precisely the opposite conclusion.

Malex: Snuffy, this is a horrible idea! You really needed to consult me before you invited the whole world to a carnival of chaos on my property!

Snufflefungus: Here’s some money for your trouble.

Malex: That’s not good enough!

Snufflefungus: You want more?

Malex: No! You didn’t even think this through, and who knows what the consequences will be?!

Linus: Finally! Finally! I never thought this day would come!

Malex: What are you talking about?

Linus: Snuffy gets in trouble, and I have nothing to do with it! It nearly brings a tear to my eye.

Malex: You’re not helping.

Linus: I’m just gonna do my happy laptop jig over here. Ooh! Ah! Yeah!

Snufflefungus: Look! The crew has arrived to set up the stage, PA system, and banners! What a sight!

Malex: Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, it looks like we’re out of time for this episode. Join us again next week to see what happens next!

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Alex Markley and Peter Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Leela

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio2.97 MB Download Now - 2.97 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration251.29 KB Download Now - 251.29 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

Lilly's picture

First comment! ^.^

Poor snuffy! The money went to his head and he even thinks he can buy off Malex with it! :P

And Linus' happy laptop jig was just too funny XD

Child: Can I have some money?!

Snufflefungus: Yes. Yes you may. Here is five dollars. Now go and make something of yourself!

Child: (Laughs.) I’m gonna go buy some cigarettes!

Horrifying o.o

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

*lol*

I really liked this one!

Favorite Parts:

Malex: Snufflefungus, many of your “less fortunate” have driven up to the house in luxury SUVs. I know because my front lawn is permanently ruined by their distinctive tracks.

Linus: Aw, poor baby.

Linus: Finally! Finally! I never thought this day would come!

Malex: What are you talking about?

Linus: Snuffy gets in trouble, and I have nothing to do with it! It nearly brings a tear to my eye.

Malex: You’re not helping.

Linus: I’m just gonna do my happy laptop jig over here. Ooh! Ah! Yeah!

Good job everyone!

God gave us music, that we might pray without words

LOLOL!!!

AMAZING episode!!

Linus: I’m just gonna do my happy laptop jig over here. Ooh! Ah! Yeah!

XD XD XD XD It's hard to envision a laptop doing a jig XD XD XD XD

Poor Malex is stressed out...Maybe you guys should give him a break for an episode...maybe just chill at home... I know!! They should play a game! Like Apples to Apples! :-* XD That would be interesting...

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

=D

LOL!!! I love the laptop jig and how Linus says "Poor baby"

This is definitely one of my favorite episodes!

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

Proverbs 4:23

Money Corrupts

Snuffy has gone socialist!!! o.o

BTB, I really like Linus' laptop jig. Heeheehee.

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Peter's picture

Score!

ajjb said:

This is definitely one of my favorite episodes!

I'm so glad you're all still enjoying the Malex Minute! XD

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Free money!

Quick! What's the address!!!!!?????

Very funny episode guys. I have to agree with the general consensus: Linus's Happy Laptop Jig was a high point for me, too.

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

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