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Malex Minute 171

Malex and friends get on a plane and go to Hawaii for a vacation! Hope nobody poaches Snuffy! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

Snuffy poachers?! This can’t possibly bode well for the rest of our heroes’ vacation.

Many thanks to Leela for writing the first draft of this script. I’ve been so incredibly swamped lately, I very nearly dropped the ball on the Malex Minute entirely. Thankfully, my siblings were here to save the day.*

So if you think about it, definitely thank both Peter and Leela.

By the way, I’m very excited by these latest developments in our storyline, because they all bring us right where we need to be to kick off our new storyline for this quarter. I won’t say anything except that it’s going to be a blast!



——Alex Markley

“Exhaustion becomes me.”

* - Yay, siblings!


~~ Introduction

Malex: Hey, Ladies and Gentlemen. We just got on a plane to Hawaii for a nice vacation!

Linus: (Sarcastically.) Oh boy. A whole week of heat and uncomfortably close quarters with two of the most boring people alive. Sounds like a blast.

Snufflefungus: I know I can’t wait to get there! I’ve never gone swimming on a beach before!

Linus: Whereas I don’t get to even feel the water. Let alone swim.

Snufflefungus: Aw. Don’t be sad, Linus. You can always watch me swim!

Malex: Linus, we already talked about this. You’ll get the hotel room with the extra fast Internet all to yourself.

Linus: (Strangely cheerful.) I know. But self-pity is always sure to ruin everyone else’s day!

Malex: Wonderful. Snuffy, we just can’t thank you enough for paying for our vacation.

Snufflefungus: You’re welcome, Malex. I just like doing nice things for my friends!

Linus: Huh! You make it sound like some sort of sacrifice! We all know you’ve got so much money you don’t know what to do with it!

Snufflefungus: So?

Linus: We can be a team! You earn, I spend!

Malex: No, we’re not doing that. Linus, leave Snuffy alone.

Linus: Fine!

Snufflefungus: This plane is awfully crowded. It seems there are a lot of strange people here.

Malex: Snuffy!

Linus: Good Snuffy. Tell ’em like it is!

Snufflefungus: I didn’t mean anything. (Dull whisper.) It’s just that I’ve noticed some pretty strange people…

Linus: Yeah. Like that lady over there. Talk about beehives.

Snufflefungus: That wasn’t who I was talking about, I was talking about those guys over–

Linus: Shh! Snuffy! Don’t you know it’s rude to point?

~~ Awkward silence

Snufflefungus: I didn’t– I can’t even–

Linus: Oh skip it. Please, continue.

Snufflefungus: That shady group of guys across the aisle is making me nervous…

Malex: Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing, Snuffy.

Linus: Yeah Snuffy. That guy over there who’s staring at you is only carrying a gun for protection.

Snufflefungus: (Scared.) He has a gun?!

Malex: No, Snuffy. (Rebuking.) Linus, quit trying to scare the Snufflefungus!

Linus: Fine. But if he pulls a gun on the pilot and we all die from a crash, you can’t blame me.

Snufflefungus: That guy really is staring at me.

Malex: Oh, don’t be silly, Snuffy. He’s probably just– Yeah. Okay, he really is staring at you.

Snufflefungus: What am I gonna do?!

Linus: Want me to go bite him?

Malex: No, there’s gotta be a perfectly good explanation–

Snufflefungus: (Gasp.)

Linus: (Whisper.) Told you he had a gun.

Malex: (Disconcerted.) Okay, uh… Maybe he’s an air marshal.

Linus: (Whisper.) Look! He’s conferring with another guy!

Snufflefungus: What are they saying?

Linus: I don’t know but it looks like– (Panicked.) He’s heading this way!

Snufflefungus: What are we gonna do?!

Poacher: Excuse me sir. I couldn’t help but notice this peculiar creature you have here.

Malex: Uh, you mean the Snufflefungus?

Poacher: Is that what it’s called? Fascinating!

Malex: Quite. Wonderful conversation, this. Too bad it’s over now. Why don’t you go back to your seat?

Poacher: Nonsense! I simply must buy this Snufflefungus.

Snufflefungus: What?! Buy me?!

Linus: What kind of price are we talking about here?

Malex: Snufflefungus is not for sale! Besides, what could you possibly want with him?

Poacher: How should I say it…? I’m something of a poacher, you see, and I think your Snufflefungus’s fur would fetch quite a price.

Snufflefungus: (Screams.)

Malex: No way! We’re not selling Snuffy.

Linus: Yeah, I’d hate to think of Snuffy as a rug. He just wouldn’t cover very much floor.

Poacher: I’d be willing to share profits, if you’re so inclined.

Malex: Do you not understand the word ‘no?’

Poacher: (Threatening.) I can be very persuasive.

Linus: What are you gonna do, shoot us?

Poacher: I just might!

Malex: Think again, Buster.

Air Marshal: Don’t make any sudden movements, scumbag.

Poacher: Aw, man!

Air Marshal: Just drop your weapon and put your hands up nice and slow.

Snufflefungus: Are you an air marshal?! You’ve saved my life! You’ve saved our vacation!

Linus: Hooray!

Air Marshal: Think nothing of it, kid. Just doin’ my job. Come here, you grimy underbelly of the criminal underworld, you’re goin’ straight to jail.

Linus: Can’t we land first?

Malex: Well that’s enough excitement for anybody’s week. Thanks for listening, everyone, and don’t forget to join us again next time on the Malex Minute!

~~ End


Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Leela and Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Leela

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

Episode Audio2.9 MB Download Now - 2.9 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration170.29 KB Download Now - 170.29 KB View Now - Episode Illustration



So did the poacher get one of those "Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200" X-D Sorry. I couldn't resist. The future is looking very ominous for those guys. Great episode! :-D


Poor Snuffy! If he's been approached by one poacher, might there be more? Will he ever be safe? Poor Snuffy! And how in the world did that gun get on board the plane?

Air Marshall said:

Come here, you grimy underbelly of the criminal underworld

That's very funny. I wonder if policemen ever really talk that way. I'd like to think they do, on occasion.

Good work, Leela & Quartz. Thanks for picking up the dropped ball and carrying the Malex Minute banner. Oops. Mixed metaphor. Sorry.

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Poor Snuffy.

Hehe. The illustration is priceless. Those guys in the background are so ... unique.

Everything looks perfect from far away.

ooooooohhhhh wwwwwwoooooooowwwwwww

The ending was... wow... there are no words to describe it

That was a really funny episode!!!

:-| Don't EVER scare me like that again. If I hear any word of Snuffy being poached, I'm gonna...gonna...OK fine. I can't do anything. -.- :(( No one is EVER going to poach Snufflefungus, at least not while I'm alive and...typing. :P

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!


Wow guys that was funny! I loved the ending! Good job Quartz! And I loved the Air Marshall! Good job Foppy!

Little: The Air Marshall Sounded like squeaky Satan....

Lizzie: Little...*sigh*

Anyways, great job with the minute. Oh...and if anymore poachers come to kill snuffy...just tell me and My light saber and I will do the job! ;)

God gave us music, that we might pray without words


I didn't mention it before, but that illustration is really awesome, Quartz. It looks like one of those old cartoons from before cartoons had particular characters. I also really like the tale. Tail?

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Peter's picture


Thanks a lot everybody, I'm really glad you like it! XD

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

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