What happens when you run out of interesting things to say? You string lots of gags together in a plotless jumble and call it a day!

Sorry, things aren’t really that bad. I’m just playing up the situation for some cheap drama. Judging by the state of American media, that’s the only way to get you people to respond with dollars.

The way I figure it, all I’ve gotta do is make Snuffy stand up to some unreasonable authority and cry as he learns hard lessons about the world while simultaneously embroiling Malex in some kind of heart-wrenching love story or another. We’ll be instantly rich!

Linus would stay the same though. He’ll be the crotchety comedy relief that nobody can relate to.

Sound fun? If my calculations are correct, the television deals should start rolling in any second now.

ttyl!

——Alex Markley

“Sleep deprivation, it’s a wonderful thing.”

~~ Introduction

Malex: Welcome to the show, everybody! I’m Malex, your host.

Snufflefungus: Malex Minute Quarter Fourteen!

Malex: Yes!

Snufflefungus: Fourteen!

Malex: Yes.

Snufflefungus: It’s like the four, only just starting to grow up and being all awkward and full of attitude!

Malex: Yeah…

Snufflefungus: It’s a very big number.

Linus: Snufflefungus, Malex has no soul. He can’t understand numbers. He can’t even speak of his own volition. It’s really just a stunningly elaborate ventriloquism act. Watch and be amazed!

Snufflefungus: Amazed!

Malex: Linus, please shut up.

Linus: Sure thing boss.

Snufflefungus: Can we stop doing the show and look at the photo album?

Linus: No! I hate photos!

Snufflefungus: But why? This one has you in it!

~~ Begin flashback.

Linus: (Gasps.) Snuffy! Snuffy! Come quick! I can’t get the coat hanger out of the wall!

Snufflefungus: Linus! We’re not supposed to put things in electrical outlets! Besides, how did you do it in the first place? You’re a floating laptop!

Linus: Never you mind! Just grab it and get it out of the wall!

Snufflefungus: Okay!

Linus: (Disappointed.) Aw, telekinesis.

~~ End flashback.

Linus: (Sighs.)

Snufflefungus: … You know, you never did tell me how you got it in there. It must’ve been a real feat!

Linus: Hush, fuzzy pom-pom of despair!

Malex: Ah, memories. Oh, you guys remember this one?

Snufflefungus: That was from our first airplane ride!

~~ Begin flashback.

Linus: (Ill.) Malex.

Malex: Yes?

Linus: …I may throw up on you.

Snufflefungus: Ooh! Lookie, Malex! Aren’t the clouds pretty?

Malex: I can’t see them, Snuffy. You’re the only one with the window seat.

Snufflefungus: Oh, I don’t have a window seat! I’m standing on this person’s lap because I wanted to see out the window!

Malex: And do you know whose lap you’re standing on?

Snufflefungus: Nope, complete stranger! He’s going to be my best friend! (Gasps.) Oh look at how tiny the little cars are driving around on the roads down there!

Linus: Oh… There are little critters trying to build a temple in my stomach.

~~ End flashback.

Snufflefungus: I love vacations!

Linus: What on earth is that a picture of?

Malex: You know… I don’t remember. I can’t quite tell.

Snufflefungus: Maybe it’s a rhinoceros! I’ve heard of them before.

Malex: I don’t think so… It looks more like a closet.

Snufflefungus: Oh, look at this one! Remember? When Evil Snuffy came over to visit?

~~ Begin flashback.

Evil Snuffy: I am Evil Snuffy! (Laughing.) Aha! Do you know what this is?! This is a doomsday device! If you don’t all do my bidding, I will bring forth the end of the world as you know it! (More laughing.)

Malex: Evil Snuffy, give me back my razor.

Evil Snuffy: Not until you do my bidding!

Snufflefungus: Yay, bidding!

Linus: You can’t end the world with that.

Evil Snuffy: …Really?

Malex: Yeah, I hate to break it to ya’ pal, but my razor is not a doomsday device. I use it to shave my face.

Evil Snuffy: (Silence.) … Oh… Can I cut you with it?

Malex: No.

~~ End flashback.

Malex: We don’t let him visit very often.

Snufflefungus: Yeah, his visits do always bring cherries and ambivalence!

Linus: This is boring. Can I have a party?

Malex: Why would I give you a party?

Linus: Because if you don’t, I’m going to take one by force.

Snufflefungus: (Gasps.) Bad Linus!

Malex: Okay, well, I guess that’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us everybody, and we hope to see you again next week as we fish around desperately for something interesting to talk about!

Snufflefungus: Good night! Er– morning! Er–

~~ End

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Peter Markley and Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Leela

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to Yatpo for use of the Flashback sound effect.

Thanks to everyone for their help and support.