Jump to Malex Minute 001Malex Minute 168Malex Minute Archives...Malex Minute 170Jump to Malex Minute 216

Malex Minute 169

Part two of our two-part Quarter Thirteen Finale, wherein Malex, Linus, and Snufflefungus discover a vast treasure! Give this episode a listen and find out! Don’t forget to let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

Yay, treasure! Lots and lots of treasure! And really, our heroes have worked so hard, they deserve whatever they find.

And this episode is, frankly, hilarious. As with our other recent two-parter, it’s best if you listen to both parts back-to-back, but if you don’t I don’t think it’ll be a disaster. Either way, give it a listen! I hope you enjoy it.

So right now, I just feel immensely relieved. The Malex Minute is still going strong after three-and-a-quarter years. Despite the difficulties inherent in my living 150 miles away from the rest of the cast and crew, we’ve still managed not to miss a week. Despite my being constantly distracted from the MMN® by work and by my personal life, I feel like things are still going.

I felt like something really bad was going to happen, and it hasn’t. I expected to drop the ball somewhere back there, and I really didn’t.

I’m not sure I can explain why, but I just feel like I’ve dodged a bullet.

It’s a neat feeling.

Have a good week, and we’ll see you next Friday as we kick off Malex Minute Quarter Fourteen.

ttyl!

——Alex Markley

“Now, tape it squarely to your forehead and jump out the window…”

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Malex: Okay, so we finally have all the pieces of the treasure map… Are we sure we have it together right?

Snufflefungus: What do all the lines and splotches mean?

Linus: This is hopeless! I’ll never get my treasure!

Malex: What were we thinking?!

Mike: Wait! I got it! I got it! I know what it means! It means we have to go to the nearest plant shop and talk to the first woman we see with dirt on her face!

Snufflefungus: Of course– Of course! It makes perfect sense!

Malex: It does? Wait, what’s going on?

Linus: We’re going to the flower shop, idiot. Get with the program.

~~ Scene change.

Mike: There she is! The– There she is! The– The woman with the dirt on her face!

Malex: Oh no, you have got to be kidding me! Her?!

Snufflefungus: Mara!

Mara: Snuffy! It’s so good to see you! Too bad you had to bring Malex.

Malex: Finally, something we agree on!

Linus: Stop insulting one another! We have work to do!

Mara: You guys came here because you’re hunting treasure, didn’t you? I thought I heard you coming.

Mike: That’s pretty creepy!

Snufflefungus: We are hunting treasure! Can you help us?

Mara: I just might! I found this dirty, ancient map folded up in the latest shipment of pesticides. It looks interesting, so I kept it! You can have it, Snuffy.

Snufflefungus: Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!

Mara: You’re welcome!

Snufflefungus: Hey, can we play hide and seek?!

Mara: Oh, I can’t right now. I’m working! But maybe later, okay?

Snufflefungus: Yay later!

Malex: Hey, uh… What are we supposed to do with this map? If the ‘X’ marks the spot where we’ll find the treasure, where are we supposed to start from?

Mara: I don’t know for sure, but the vibe I got was that you were supposed to start at Lonely Man’s Cave south of town. See how this one chamber looks like it’s got stalagmites? I think this is an underground map.

Mike: Well what are we waiting for?! Let’s get outta here!

~~ Scene change.

Malex: Okay, I officially think this was a bad idea now. We don’t have any basic spelunking equipment or training and we’ve been trudging around underground for hours and hours and miles and miles. At this point, it’s going to be a miracle if we don’t get lost forever and die.

Mike: But I think we’re almost there!

Linus: Why couldn’t there be an easier way?! We’ve been traveling underground for miles now and my feet hurt!

Malex: What are you talking about?! You’re a laptop, for crying out loud! You float around on anti-gravity gliders! You weigh, like, two pounds! And thanks to the miracle of anti-gravity, you don’t even have to carry that! The rest of us actually have to lug ourselves around!

Linus: So wait, now you want sympathy for being fat?

Mike: (Laughs.) He said, ‘fat!’

Malex: I’m not talking to either of you anymore.

Snufflefungus: Guys! I think I smell money!

Linus: Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

Mike: It’s just around this bend!

Linus: (Mind blown.) Astonishing!

Malex: There’s so much money in here!

Mike: It’s like I’ve died and gone to middle-aged friendless guy heaven!

Malex: How can this be?! There have to be nearly fifteen trillion dollars here!

Linus: (Mind blown.) Astonishing!

Snufflefungus: Guys, what’s the big deal? This is my vault underneath the lab which is underneath the house! We could have walked here in like ten minutes from the house.

Malex: What?! Snuffy, what are you saying?!

Snufflefungus: This is my money! I earned it!

Linus: (Mind blown.) Astonishing!

Mike: Nobody earns this kind of money! You have to steal it!

Snufflefungus: I earned it! I use my mind powers and I work a lot of jobs!

Malex: I… For the first time in my life, I don’t know what to say.

Snufflefungus: Mike, how did you get a treasure map to my personal stash of money?!

Mike: I– I made it up randomly!

Malex: You mean you didn’t know there was any treasure here when you led us out here?!

Snufflefungus: You lied to us!

Mike: I just wanted to go on an adventure with you guys! I’m so lonely!

~~ Awkward silence.

Linus: (Mind blown.) Astonishing!

Malex: Snufflefungus, if my estimates are right, you could pay off the national debt with the money in this room!

Snufflefungus: They can pay off their own debt! They’re not taking my rainy day fund!

Mike: How rainy do you expect it to get?!

Malex: Mike, nobody cares what you think. Snuffy, in order to have this much money you have to be earning something like two billion dollars an hour!

Snufflefungus: I work a lot of jobs!

Linus: (Mind blown.) Astonishing!

Malex: And what do you do, just put the money in a hole in the ground?

Snufflefungus: Yes!

Malex: But the money needs to feed back into the system somewhere! You’re singlehandedly crashing the economy!

Snufflefungus: But President Anchorman can just print more money!

Mike: That’s why I voted for him! That man knows how to print his money!

Malex: I think… We need to have a talk. In the mean time, Ladies and Gentlemen, I guess that’s all the time we have for today. Thanks for listening to our Quarter Thirteen Finale, and we hope you’ll join us next week as we kick off Quarter Fourteen!

Linus: (Mind blown.) Astonishing!

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Alex Markley, Peter Markley, and Noble Wisdom

Voices: Markley Brothers, with a guest appearance by Noble Wisdom as Mara.

Post-processing director: Leela

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

NameSizeAction
Episode Audio3.42 MB Download Now - 3.42 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration209.41 KB Download Now - 209.41 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

LOL!

Malex: What are you talking about?! You’re a laptop, for crying out loud! You float around on anti-gravity gliders! You weigh, like, two pounds! And thanks to the miracle of anti-gravity, you don’t even have to carry that! The rest of us actually have to lug ourselves around!

Linus: So wait, now you want sympathy for being fat?

Mike: (Laughs.) He said, ‘fat!’

Malex: I’m not talking to either of you anymore.

XD *lol*

I like Linus's continued line "astonishing!" Just outta curiosity, did Foppy have to say that six times or did you just record it once? ;)

Mara: Snuffy! It’s so good to see you! Too bad you had to bring Malex.

Yay! It's NW!! :)

Great job on this one, guys! I love how it turns out--how they find Snuffy's money instead of a treasure. :D

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

Peter's picture

Thanks!

I'm glad you enjoyed it. XD To answer your question: yes, Foppy did say that line six-or-so times. :P

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

*lol*

I liked the end...it reminded me of this one time when I went to Cedar Point....anyways, I liked how Linus was at a total loss for words, that must have been a lot of money! Great job, as always!

God gave us music, that we might pray without words

Economics

Malex once read a book called All The Money In The World or something like that. This may have helped him develop his keen perceptions of the realities of economics.

Malex: But the money needs to feed back into the system somewhere! You’re singlehandedly crashing the economy!

Snufflefungus: But President Anchorman can just print more money!

Mike: That’s why I voted for him! That man knows how to print his money!

This episode was very funny. I laughed a lot. I like Mara, and I love having Noble Wisdom in the cast. Her voice is really pleasant. Thanks to everyone involved!

BTW, I really like the unspoken humor in the text parts of this episode. In the transcript, the notes for Linus' repetitions of "Astonishing," say, "(Mind blown.)" all 6 times.

Malex said:

“Now, tape it squarely to your forehead and jump out the window…”

That's so funny!

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Lilly's picture

PROBLEM!

I somehow missed this episode when I was downloading all the Malex Minutes last summer, and now I can't figure out how to get it into my itunes with all the others. Help!

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Alex's picture

Well...

Lilly said:

I somehow missed this episode when I was downloading all the Malex Minutes last summer, and now I can't figure out how to get it into my itunes with all the others. Help!

I just make content available to download, I realistically can't be responsible for supporting a user's efforts to actually download it. :-P

However, I suspect the key to tricking iTunes into doing what you want would be editing this episode's Artist and / or Album fields so that they match the other episodes you already downloaded. (All the Malex Minute episodes were newly-reencoded at higher quality and with different Artist / Album tags.)

Another fix would be for you to re-download all the episodes. (Since they are higher quality now, and because you love clicking through 208 episodes.) :-D

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Lilly's picture

Not Again!

Alex said:

Another fix would be for you to re-download all the episodes. (Since they are higher quality now, and because you love clicking through 208 episodes.) :-D

AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Actually I meant more like I can't get it anywhere near itunes no matter how hard I try. :-P So I could delete all of the other Malex Minutes in hopes of downloading them all again, but then I would have no Malex Minutes. ^^

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Alex's picture

Ack

Lilly said:

Actually I meant more like I can't get it anywhere near itunes no matter how hard I try. :-P

That's terrible... I'm really sorry about that. Unfortunately, there's not much I can do on my end to fix that. :-P

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Lilly's picture

Amazing Aisling

There's probably some obvious button I'm missing or something. I'll have to show it to Aisling or someone and see if they can't make technology work for me :-P

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Alex's picture

Try this...

Lilly said:

There's probably some obvious button I'm missing or something.

Maybe not. You have a Macbook, right? Have you tried Ctrl+Click on the "Save" icon and selecting "Save As" from the menu that pops up? It might say something like "Save Link As".

That might give you the option to open it directly in iTunes. Otherwise, you can save it to your desktop and then drag it into iTunes.

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Lilly's picture

Aha!

Awesome! And now that I have this one I can go back and find the other one's I've missed.

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Jump to Malex Minute 001Malex Minute 168Malex Minute Archives...Malex Minute 170Jump to Malex Minute 216