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Malex Minute 165

Malex invites Timby for an interview to promote Contradictionary, and gets more than he bargained for! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think!

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

Timby is a special sort of chap. The sort of chap one casts as the main character in a webcomic. In particular, a webcomic called Contradictionary, available now at MalexMedia.Net!®

Sorry, that one had potential, but it degenerated quickly into being a shameless plug for Contradictionary, the latest stroke of genius from Peter Markley at MalexMedia.Net!®

Wow, I may need to see a neurologist. Every time I try to form a complete thought it swerves into Contradictionary, updated Wednesdays, available only at MalexMedia.Net!®

Maybe if I try thinking about something completely unrelated, I won’t suddenly start talking about Contradictionary, a weekly snapshot of Timby’s life at MalexMedia.Net!®

Perhaps if I dwell on zombies. Or swine flu. Or swine flu zombies. These are legitimate concerns that you can ignore completely by immersing yourself in Contradictionary, the latest tool of gross escapism available now at MalexMedia.Net!®

I give up, I’m going to bed… and dreaming about Contradictionary, a lone bright spot in a bleak, bleak future! Check it out now at MalexMedia.Net!®

Contradictionary! MalexMedia.Net!®

——Alex Markley (Barely involved in Contradictionary, Peter’s Pet Project which is up now at MalexMedia.Net!)®

“Hey there, have you heard of this newfangled Contradi–” Unconsciousness!

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Malex: Hey everybody, welcome to the Malex Minute!

Linus: No, they’re not welcome. Nobody’s welcome!

Snufflefungus: Linus! That’s no way to treat your neighbor! You’re supposed to love your neighbor as yourself!

Linus: (Defensive.) I do that! I hate myself and everybody else equally!

Malex: Sounds like you have deeper issues there, buddy. But it’s okay, we have an agenda for this episode!

Snufflefungus: Really? Where is it? Can I pet it? Here little agenda, here boy!

Linus: Congratulations, Malex. It’s been so long since we had an agenda, even Snuffy’s forgotten what the word means.

Malex: Wonderful! Today I’d like to draw everybody’s attention to a great new feature we’ve started running at MalexMedia.Net!®

Linus: (False interest.) Oh? Do tell!

Malex: It’s called Contradictionary, and it’s a webcomic featuring the life and times of a fox named Timby!

Snufflefungus: Oh, I remember that! I like that comic a lot! It has so many colors!

Linus: Never mind, I’m bored already.

Malex: The comic strip has been running on the site for a couple of months now, so we thought it would be a good idea to invite Timby into the studio and find out who he really is! So, welcome to the Malex Minute, Timby!

Timby: Who are you, and why are you saying my name?

Linus: Now this is interesting.

Malex: Timby, we invited you onto the show to talk about Contradictionary.

Timby: If I stay very still, you’ll forget that I’m here.

Malex: I don’t think so. You’ve been sitting here this whole time.

Timby: You didn’t see me.

Malex: I answered the door and invited you in.

Timby: I was stealthy like a fox.

Malex: I offered you lemonade.

Timby: The lemonade was tasty. Swine. (Throws the lemonade in Malex’s face.)

Snufflefungus: Malex! Timby just threw the rest of his lemonade in your face!

Malex: Thank you Snufflefungus. Timby, we just want a quick interview.

Timby: Why have you kidnapped me?

Linus: Yeah, Malex? Why did we kidnap him?

Malex: We didn’t– Timby, we invited you to the studio to talk about your new show. You showed me the email I sent you. It– It’s in your back pocket right now!

Timby: I’m not wearing any pants.

~~ Awkward silence.

Malex: (Disconcerted.) Well… You were.

Timby: That just shows what you know.

Malex: Timby, is there any chance you could just talk to us about Contradictionary?

Timby: What is it?

Malex: Contradictionary is a comic about your life.

Timby: No it’s not. Why have you kidnapped me?

Malex: We did not kidnap–

Timby: I’m not joining your cult! And I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid!

Linus: They kidnapped me too! Let’s escape together!

~~ Timby bites Linus.

Linus: Arrgh! He bit me! He bit a chunk right out of my beautiful laptop body!

Malex: Timby, why did you bite him?

Timby: He smelled like corn.

Snufflefungus: That’s not a good reason!

Linus: I– I don’t smell like corn!

Timby: You taste like corn too.

Malex: Timby, don’t you know about Contradictionary?

Timby: No.

Malex: (Getting frustrated.) How can you not know this? It’s a weekly webcomic starring you.

Timby: You’re a liar and I hate you.

Malex: (Frustrated.) Look here! See right here? I go to MalexMedia.Net,® click on Contradictionary on the top, and there you are! See? Right there!

Timby: (Gasps.) You’ve been spying on me!

Malex: (Very frustrated.) No!

Timby: (Defiant.) I’m going to call my mother. (Dials Malex’s phone.) Hello? Yes Mom, your garden is very pretty this spring. Listen, can you give me some advice? I’ve been kidnapped by this cult. They’ve been spying on me for weeks now and they’ve kidnapped me and goodness knows what they’re gonna make me do. What should I do? Mom? (Disappointed.) Oh. (Hangs up the phone.)

Linus: You do know you just dialed the operator, don’t you?

Timby: I don’t have a mother.

Malex: Tragic. If you don’t want to give us an interview, you’re free to go.

Timby: The grandfather clock always told me never to panic, so instead I’m going to play dead. (Falls over.)

Snufflefungus: Timby? Timby?!

Linus: But– But– I don’t smell like corn!

Malex: Okay Ladies and Gentlemen, that’s it for this episode. Thanks for listening and please join us again next week for another Malex Minute!

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Leela

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to Qubodup for use of the Stupid Falls sound effect.

Thanks to Sly Mr. Byches for use of the Splat sound effect.

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

NameSizeAction
Episode Audio2.94 MB Download Now - 2.94 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration201.69 KB Download Now - 201.69 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

LOL =D

Fave quote:

Malex: We didn’t– Timby, we invited you to the studio to talk about your new show. You showed me the email I sent you. It– It’s in your back pocket right now!

Timby: I’m not wearing any pants.

~~ Awkward silence.

Malex: (Disconcerted.) Well… You were.

Timby: That just shows what you know.

XD

Timby is so funny!! I love it when he bites Linus, throws his lemonade in Malex's face, and tells his whole story to the operator!!

Nice work! :)

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

Wow....

Just...wow.... X-D

God gave us music, that we might pray without words

Peter's picture

*lol*

I'm glad you like it! XD

Alex did a good job writing for Timby.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Peter's picture

Ack!

o_o Sorry about the broken illustration viewer, everybody! It should be fixed now in a few minutes.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

LOL!

I love Timby!! He's too too too funny! Idiocy with... an attitude.

Timby: The grandfather clock always told me never to panic, so instead I’m going to play dead. (Falls over.)

X-D

Everything looks perfect from far away.

*sigh of relief*

:-J I was wondering why we were so zoomed in on Timby ;) Thanks Quartz!

And, um, Malex...Swine flu zombies are, uh, not legitimate concerns... just thought I'd let you know that. :P X-D

Oh Quartz! it's REALLY irrelevant, but is there a specific kind of fish in the fish bowl? I just noticed it and...well I was hoping it would be like a siamese fighting fish or something..

;)

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

So wild

This is what happens when mild insanity meets total cartoon. Timby doesn't seem to be able to function in any world at all, but at least in a cartoon world, the consequences don't concern us.

I love Timby's voice. He sounds like a whiny, but smarty pants child.

Malex: I don’t think so. You’ve been sitting here this whole time.

Timby: You didn’t see me.

Malex: I answered the door and invited you in.

Timby: I was stealthy like a fox.

Malex: I offered you lemonade.

Timby: The lemonade was tasty. Swine. (Throws the lemonade in Malex’s face.)

Timby: (Defiant.) I’m going to call my mother. (Dials Malex’s phone.) Hello? Yes Mom, your garden is very pretty this spring. Listen, can you give me some advice? I’ve been kidnapped by this cult. They’ve been spying on me for weeks now and they’ve kidnapped me and goodness knows what they’re gonna make me do. What should I do? Mom? (Disappointed.) Oh. (Hangs up the phone.)

Linus: You do know you just dialed the operator, don’t you?

Timby: I don’t have a mother.

I get the idea that this is the sort of thing that would happen if a cartoon character somehow got into the real world.It's so very funny!!!

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Peter's picture

*lol*

Thanks everybody, I'm glad you like it! XD

gnnb94 said:

Oh Quartz! it's REALLY irrelevant, but is there a specific kind of fish in the fish bowl? I just noticed it and...well I was hoping it would be like a siamese fighting fish or something..

I may have subconsciously incorporated similarities, yes. :) (Especially considering that Vox owns two Siamese fighting fish.)

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Gabriel's picture

^_^

Wow... It's been awhile since I've posted on a minute thread... <_< >_> ...I am involved in the minute. I swear. ^_^

Anyways, this came out very nicely. I especially love your thoughts Malex. There the special kind of madness I really enjoy.

God answers my prayers. He lifts me up. He gives me my breaths and refills my cup.

lol

Fopsworth said:

<_< >_> ...I am involved in the minute. I swear. ^_^

Ooo, btw....good job on the minute guys!

God gave us music, that we might pray without words

Peter's picture

Hehe

Thanks! :D

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Kool-Aid...

Timby said:

I’m not joining your cult! And I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid!

0_0 ... I'm not sure if that's more funny or horrifying... :D Great job, guys!

(As a side note, the link to download Flowplayer in the little pop-up Flowplayer window is no longer accurate. It currently goes here:

http://flowplayer.org/download.html

but it should go here:

http://flowplayer.org/download/index.html

Just thought you may want to know. :-J )

Und alvays rememba cheeldren: Delta ecks eqvals fee nought times time ploos von half accelerashun times time sqvared.

Peter's picture

Wow

Thanks, Mad Hatter! :-J

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Spam

I WANT STRAWBERRY FLAVORED KOOL-AID!!!!!

X-D :-P

No, I actually don't....I want water :P

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

Second comment

Timby said:

I’m not joining your cult! And I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid!

Mad Hatter said:

0_0 ... I'm not sure if that's more funny or horrifying...

I came so close to making this same sort of comment, Hatter. I chose not to just in case someone didn't get the reference and I'd have to explain it. But I'm glad someone said it. X-D

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Mariel 7's picture

Hatter said it, so I didn't want to ^.^

Amazingly horrifying, guys! :-D I love how Timby can mistake the MMN for a cult. It's kind of ... understandable? ... 0_0 ... :-O ... DROP THE KEWL-AID!!!!!! ( X-D )

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

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