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Malex Minute 162

Linus and Snuffy go to the candy store! Along the way, they encounter… madness! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

For some reason, President Anchorman’s character is very hard for me to perform. It doesn’t really matter what I do to prepare myself ahead of time, I always feel completely off-kilter doing it. By the end I usually feel like I need to go detox somewhere. Or maybe pray.

I don’t have any trouble playing other characters. The silly Buster Noodle guy from early on in the episode is a fun sort of character, provided he never appears ever again. But really, I think the Pink Elephant is my favorite character in this whole episode.

The depth of symbolism! The hidden meaning! The things that Pink Elephant represents simply boggle my mind.

I’ll tell you what. If you can guess what the Pink Elephant represents and email me your reasoning… You, undoubtedly, will deserve a cookie.


——Alex Markley

“Well now, will you just look at those plums!”


~~ Introduction

Malex: Linus, can you take Snuffy to the candy store? I promised he could go, but something’s come up at work.

Snufflefungus: Please, Linus? Please, please, please?!

Linus: Sure thing.

Snufflefungus: Yay! Thank you, Linus!

Malex: Wait, you’ll really do it?

Linus: Yeah, it’s no problem.

Malex: I’m shocked.

Linus: You’ll get over it. Come on, Snuffy!

~~ They walk out the front door.

Snufflefungus: (Singing.) Hooray! Hooray! We’ll buy some candy today!

Linus: It’s just a couple blocks that way.

Snufflefungus: (Still singing.) Gadzooks! Gadzooks! Chocolate, caramel, and liquorice sticks– sticks… ‘Sticks’ doesn’t rhyme…

Linus: I know.

Buster Noodle: Hello there, young fellows!

Snufflefungus: We’re not supposed to talk to strangers.

Buster Noodle: Why, do I look strange to you?

Linus: Well, come to think of it–

Buster Noodle: Then you can talk with me all you like, now can’t you? See here, I need your help!

Snufflefungus: With what?

Buster Noodle: Have you seen me around anywhere?

Snufflefungus: No, I can’t say that I have…

Buster Noodle: Darn. I can’t seem to find me anywhere! I should put up missing posters.

Linus: Wait– Are you serious?

Buster Noodle: Yeah I know. It was really clumsy of me letting me get away from me like that. When I find me, I’ll tell you what! I’m tethering myself together from now on!

Snufflefungus: Mister, are you sure that you’re quite yourself today?

Buster Noodle: Not at all, my boy. Not at all. In fact, that’s the problem!

Linus: Hey, there goes somebody that looks exactly like you on a bike!

Snufflefungus: But you’re right here, not over there, so it couldn’t be you–

Buster Noodle: (Shouting.) Hey! Hey! You there! Stop! (Running away, shouting.) Stop! Hey! Hey!

Linus: Well that was creepy. My brain feels adjusted all wrong now.

Snufflefungus: Mine too. Let’s keep going.

Linus: Hey, what’s that manhole doing uncovered–

Old Lady: (Emerging muttering, fading away.) Well now son, you had better mind your manners. I can mend that for you in two shakes of a lamb’s jiffy…

Linus: Holy cow! That old lady just floated up out of the manhole and away by a bundle of balloons!

Snufflefungus: What was she talking about–?

Linus: Never mind. Let’s walk.

Snufflefungus: There are an awful lot of very odd things going on around here, Linus.

Linus: You mean like the pink elephant hiding in the tree we’re passing under?

Snufflefungus: Yes, or like the man walking his dog in tight circles over there.

President Anchorman: Evil Snuffy!

Snufflefungus: Hi, President Anchorman! But I’m just Snuffy – Evil Snuffy is my evil twin brother!

Linus: What are you doing here, President Anchorman?

President Anchorman: I was examining all of creation in order to locate you and your box of Linus. And now I am entirely winded.

Snufflefungus: What did you want us for?

President Anchorman: Well you see it all began. Today is a light and ginger midsummer morning, and I had desire to get away from the attention of my secret servicemen without them noticing. Like a large den of prisons are those secret servicemen, never letting a man out of his sight!

Linus: We understand. Or are trying very desperately.

Snufflefungus: What did you want to get away from the secret servicemen to do? They’re there to protect you!

President Anchorman: That, fluffy, is a matter of concerning privacy, and not to be disclosed in the present hearing.

Linus: Okay, well you’re obviously alone now. What happened?

President Anchorman: Well… I was forced to have no choice in the matter of matters, and so I pulled… the emergency stupid lever!

Linus: (Incredulous.) The “emergency stupid lever?”

President Anchorman: Yes indeed and out deed and It causes the world to lose its grip and go entirely bonkers!

Snufflefungus: Oh! So that’s what all this strange stuff has been about!

President Anchorman: Yes, it worked exactly as intended, as you can clearly see. I am now in the privacy of a company of fools.

Snufflefungus: But why were you looking for us?

President Anchorman: The secret servicemen are all gathered to the emergency stupid lever as carrion to your mother’s refrigerator, and now they do not know, but their minds have ceased to function on this floor, and they are stuck in the elevator. So you see I can’t get back to the stupid lever to turn it off without them seeing me first!

Snufflefungus: And you can’t do what it was you were trying to in the first place because the world has gone mad?!

President Anchorman: You, sir, deserve a cookie.

Linus: Lemme guess. You want us to go turn the stupid lever off so you can escape and go about your business, right?

President Anchorman: Why no, I just wanted you to tell the pink elephant to do it. (Inspirational.) I know he is shy! But he will obey you, if only you believe in yourselves!

Snufflefungus: Wow, that was oddly inspirational!

Linus: Yeah, I totally feel ready to take on the world now.

President Anchorman: Now then, say to the pink elephant, “Get in, and under baffle in all the usual scrubs, because always ever after into erstwhile ever before.”

Linus: Okay! You there, pink elephant! Get down from there, we have something to say to you!

Snufflefungus: He looks scared, poor thing!

Linus: We will not harm you! We only want to send you on an errand! “Get it, and under baffle in all the usual scrubs, because always ever after into erstwhile ever before!”

President Anchorman: I am now in your debt, as you see the pink elephant go. I can always thank you enough, and good morrow!

Snufflefungus: Bye!

Linus: Okay, I’m glad that’s over with.

Snufflefungus: Yay! Let’s go to the candy store now!

~~ End


Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Peter Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Leela

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

Episode Audio4.09 MB Download Now - 4.09 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration179.82 KB Download Now - 179.82 KB View Now - Episode Illustration


Lilly's picture

First comment?

Lol, really funny episode.

President Anchorman sounds different somehow... like he got a lot older since we last saw him =P

Gotta love the insanity.

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City


I liked it! The emergency stupid lever has got to be my favorite....

God gave us music, that we might pray without words


Buster Noodle looks like an uncooked bratwurst.

Everything looks perfect from far away.


This is hilarious! You guys realize, of course, that years from now, when you're dead and gone, college students will study the transcripts of these minutes as proof of your use of hallucinogenic substances.

I love the part where Linus repeats the nonsense Pres. Anchorman told him to say to the elephant. These are always my favorite episodes, the ones that make no sense whatsoever. And of course, Pres. Anchorman is one of my favorite characters.

Great work guys!

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.


Pres. Anchorman sounds very different...

lol... pink elephant... XD

This was really funny, guys. You really brightened my week =D

A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous.


I loved this episode!!!! XD

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

Alex's picture


Thanks for the positive feedback guys, we all appreciate it a lot. Like I said in thoughts, Anchorman's voice is hard to perform. Something about it really throws me off every time. The rest of the crew will back me up on this - I literally have to often re-do Anchorman's lines several times before I'm even marginally happy with the results. :-P

By the way, for those of you paying attention, you should notice that Malex's Thoughts is now collapsible, the Transcript is now actually labeled "Transcript" (instead of "Additional Text"), and Credits now has its own section instead of being crammed in with the Transcript.

This represents a significant improvement to the site AND a major step forward in the “Plan.” Lots of goodness here that won't necessarily jump right out at you, but is very important nonetheless.


Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

President Anchorman

He does sound older and more world-weary. Closer to what a real drunk sounds like, which makes him harder to laugh at, imho. But his lines are so funny, that it doesn't seem to matter. And, I'm not sure why, but he's still one of my favorite characters.

Does it help to go back and listen to previous recordings of him?

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

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