Snuffy wants to play, but Malex and Linus are both trying to concentrate! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.
So, this week’s entire episode is about Malex trying to write a script for the new Malex Minute episode. The most inspired premise in recent memory or the most uninspired?
Frankly, I can’t be sure. It’s probably better that way.
Writer’s block really is a serious problem when one has about an hour a week in which to write one’s weekly comedy show. Tends to interfere with the schedule a bit. Makes every episode feel like a race against the clock.
Speaking of time, this particular episode has quite an amusing back story to it. See, when I sat down to finish writing this episode, I had been awake for eighteen hours after having gotten only four hours of sleep the night before.
I was actually falling asleep writing the last third of the script. Scratch that, I was asleep writing the last third of the script. I remember opening my eyes occasionally to groggily check and see what I had been writing, then falling immediately back asleep.
When I went back over my work the next day, I literally didn’t recognize the writing. But it was great, so I kept it!
I sincerely hope you enjoy this week’s episode! It sure cost enough…
“Have you seen my brains? I could have sworn I left ’em in my head, but I just checked and they’re not in there…”
Malex: Hmm, that won’t work either.
Snufflefungus: Malex! Can we play another game of tic-tack-toe?
Malex: Snuffy, we’ve played a lot of games of tic-tack-toe today.
Snufflefungus: Five hundred and three!
Malex: Yes, that sounds about right.
Snufflefungus: But why not go for five hundred and four?! It’s so fun!
Malex: Snuffy, the game ends the same way every time. We always tie.
Snufflefungus: Exactly! Isn’t it great?!
Malex: It’s just not exciting if you always know the outcome.
Snufflefungus: But nobody ever has to lose! It’s genius!
Malex: I’m sorry, Snuffy. I just can’t play. Really, I’ve been trying to work on the script for this Malex Minute episode all afternoon.
Snufflefungus: (Disappointed.) Aw.
Malex: Why don’t you get Linus to play with you? I’m sure he’d like to play a few hundred games of tic-tack-toe with you. And that way, if you play in the other room, I can focus on writing.
Snufflefungus: (Excited.) Okay!
~~ A moment of silence.
Malex: Hmm. That’s all wrong! What can we possibly do for this episode? (Pause.) I hate writer’s block. Maybe if I just concentrate long enough without any interruptions I can muscle through it and come up with something funny.
Linus: You there!
Malex: (Yells, surprised.) Don’t burst in while I’m trying to think!
Linus: How am I supposed to know if you’re trying to think?! You do it so rarely. And I can’t hear your brains rattling from over here.
Malex: Alright already, what do you want?
Snufflefungus: Malex, Linus won’t play with me!
Linus: Did you send this one in to pester me while I’m working?! How dare you!
Malex: Well excuse me for not knowing you were working! You do it so rarely.
Linus: Alright wiseacre, you got me. Let’s just give up any hope of productivity and argue for an hour!
Malex: You’re right, I’m sorry. Look, I’m just trying to write the next Malex Minute episode. If I don’t write it now, there won’t be any Malex Minute episode, and then where will we be?
Linus: Fat and happy!
Malex: No, we’ll be lonely and sad. Our listeners are our only friends.
Snufflefungus: Not me! I made friends with the dishtowel yesterday!
Malex: And besides, Snufflefungus really wants to play with you.
Snufflefungus: Yes! Linus, please play with me?
Linus: Er! I– Well… Curse you, Malex, for turning the cuteness on me!
Malex: Then it’s settled. Linus, you play with Snuffy for a while while I write this Malex Minute episode.
Linus: (Suddenly excited.) Alright, Snuffy, let’s go play!
Snufflefungus: (Excited.) Yay!
Linus: I’ve got a wonderful idea for a game we can play, too!
Snufflefungus: I love games! How about tic-tack-toe?!
Linus: This is even better!
Snufflefungus: (Very excited.) Yay!
Malex: Excellent. You guys go play and I’ll work.
~~ A moment of silence.
Malex: I’ll work alright… I’ll work on this killer writer’s block. (Pause) How in the world am I supposed to– All I need is just a few minutes to focus and beat on the problem. That’ll work, I’m sure. (Longer pause.) Ooh! What if I write about–
~~ Marching band sounds.
Malex: (Screams.) What is going on?!
Snufflefungus: We’re playing marching band!
Malex: How?! Never mind how. Why?!
Snufflefungus: Linus said it would be fun! And he was right!
Linus: (Defiant.) Yeah, Malex, it’s fun. You should try it.
Malex: I don’t want to try it! It’s noisy, and I’m trying to work!
Snufflefungus: Does that mean we can keep playing marching band?
Malex: (Roars.) No–! (Catches self. Calmly.) No, Snuffy. I need peace and quiet so I can think of something to write about for the next Malex Minute episode.
Linus: (Sarcastic.) Oh yeah! I forgot! Your precious Malex Minute. Like that’s more important than what I was working on!
Malex: Oh, is that how it is? What then, pray tell, were you working on?!
Linus: Oh no you don’t! You’re not foolin’ me that easy! You and your words!
Snufflefungus: Can we play something different with the cymbals? I like the cymbals!
Malex: Well if you won’t tell me what it is you’ve been working on, how can you possibly claim that the Malex Minute is less important?
Linus: I can’t! So there!
Malex: Well I need to get this done! So please just find a way to play peacefully and quietly.
Linus: Whatever you say. Come on, Snuffy! Let’s go play “catch the fine china!”
Snufflefungus: Sounds like fun!
Malex: (Flustered.) No! No! Don’t “catch the fine china!”
Snufflefungus: Even more fun!
Malex: (Very flustered.) Don’t throw it either!
Snufflefungus: Well what are we supposed to do with it?
Malex: (Flustered to the point of confusion.) I don’t know! Leave it alone! (Starts mumbling about the Malex Minute.)
Linus: See, Snufflefungus. It’s just as I told you. He’s been sucked right over the brink of madness.
Snufflefungus: Malex? (Pauses.) If we can’t throw the fine china, can we drop it?
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writer: Alex Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers
Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley
Illustration: Peter Markley
Release manager: Peter Markley
Recording assistance: Leela
Thanks to everyone for their help and support.