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Malex Minute 155

Snuffy wants to play, but Malex and Linus are both trying to concentrate! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

So, this week’s entire episode is about Malex trying to write a script for the new Malex Minute episode. The most inspired premise in recent memory or the most uninspired?

Frankly, I can’t be sure. It’s probably better that way.

Writer’s block really is a serious problem when one has about an hour a week in which to write one’s weekly comedy show. Tends to interfere with the schedule a bit. Makes every episode feel like a race against the clock.

Speaking of time, this particular episode has quite an amusing back story to it. See, when I sat down to finish writing this episode, I had been awake for eighteen hours after having gotten only four hours of sleep the night before.

I was actually falling asleep writing the last third of the script. Scratch that, I was asleep writing the last third of the script. I remember opening my eyes occasionally to groggily check and see what I had been writing, then falling immediately back asleep.

When I went back over my work the next day, I literally didn’t recognize the writing. But it was great, so I kept it!

I sincerely hope you enjoy this week’s episode! It sure cost enough…

ttyl

——Alex Markley

“Have you seen my brains? I could have sworn I left ’em in my head, but I just checked and they’re not in there…”

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Malex: Hmm, that won’t work either.

Snufflefungus: Malex! Can we play another game of tic-tack-toe?

Malex: Snuffy, we’ve played a lot of games of tic-tack-toe today.

Snufflefungus: Five hundred and three!

Malex: Yes, that sounds about right.

Snufflefungus: But why not go for five hundred and four?! It’s so fun!

Malex: Snuffy, the game ends the same way every time. We always tie.

Snufflefungus: Exactly! Isn’t it great?!

Malex: It’s just not exciting if you always know the outcome.

Snufflefungus: But nobody ever has to lose! It’s genius!

Malex: I’m sorry, Snuffy. I just can’t play. Really, I’ve been trying to work on the script for this Malex Minute episode all afternoon.

Snufflefungus: (Disappointed.) Aw.

Malex: Why don’t you get Linus to play with you? I’m sure he’d like to play a few hundred games of tic-tack-toe with you. And that way, if you play in the other room, I can focus on writing.

Snufflefungus: (Excited.) Okay!

~~ A moment of silence.

Malex: Hmm. That’s all wrong! What can we possibly do for this episode? (Pause.) I hate writer’s block. Maybe if I just concentrate long enough without any interruptions I can muscle through it and come up with something funny.

Linus: You there!

Malex: (Yells, surprised.) Don’t burst in while I’m trying to think!

Linus: How am I supposed to know if you’re trying to think?! You do it so rarely. And I can’t hear your brains rattling from over here.

Malex: Alright already, what do you want?

Snufflefungus: Malex, Linus won’t play with me!

Linus: Did you send this one in to pester me while I’m working?! How dare you!

Malex: Well excuse me for not knowing you were working! You do it so rarely.

Linus: Alright wiseacre, you got me. Let’s just give up any hope of productivity and argue for an hour!

Malex: You’re right, I’m sorry. Look, I’m just trying to write the next Malex Minute episode. If I don’t write it now, there won’t be any Malex Minute episode, and then where will we be?

Linus: Fat and happy!

Malex: No, we’ll be lonely and sad. Our listeners are our only friends.

Snufflefungus: Not me! I made friends with the dishtowel yesterday!

Malex: And besides, Snufflefungus really wants to play with you.

Snufflefungus: Yes! Linus, please play with me?

Linus: Er! I– Well… Curse you, Malex, for turning the cuteness on me!

Malex: Then it’s settled. Linus, you play with Snuffy for a while while I write this Malex Minute episode.

Linus: (Suddenly excited.) Alright, Snuffy, let’s go play!

Snufflefungus: (Excited.) Yay!

Linus: I’ve got a wonderful idea for a game we can play, too!

Snufflefungus: I love games! How about tic-tack-toe?!

Linus: This is even better!

Snufflefungus: (Very excited.) Yay!

Malex: Excellent. You guys go play and I’ll work.

~~ A moment of silence.

Malex: I’ll work alright… I’ll work on this killer writer’s block. (Pause) How in the world am I supposed to– All I need is just a few minutes to focus and beat on the problem. That’ll work, I’m sure. (Longer pause.) Ooh! What if I write about–

~~ Marching band sounds.

Malex: (Screams.) What is going on?!

Snufflefungus: We’re playing marching band!

Malex: How?! Never mind how. Why?!

Snufflefungus: Linus said it would be fun! And he was right!

Linus: (Defiant.) Yeah, Malex, it’s fun. You should try it.

Malex: I don’t want to try it! It’s noisy, and I’m trying to work!

Snufflefungus: Does that mean we can keep playing marching band?

Malex: (Roars.) No–! (Catches self. Calmly.) No, Snuffy. I need peace and quiet so I can think of something to write about for the next Malex Minute episode.

Linus: (Sarcastic.) Oh yeah! I forgot! Your precious Malex Minute. Like that’s more important than what I was working on!

Malex: Oh, is that how it is? What then, pray tell, were you working on?!

Linus: Oh no you don’t! You’re not foolin’ me that easy! You and your words!

Snufflefungus: Can we play something different with the cymbals? I like the cymbals!

Malex: Well if you won’t tell me what it is you’ve been working on, how can you possibly claim that the Malex Minute is less important?

Linus: I can’t! So there!

Malex: Well I need to get this done! So please just find a way to play peacefully and quietly.

Linus: Whatever you say. Come on, Snuffy! Let’s go play “catch the fine china!”

Snufflefungus: Sounds like fun!

Malex: (Flustered.) No! No! Don’t “catch the fine china!”

Snufflefungus: Even more fun!

Malex: (Very flustered.) Don’t throw it either!

Snufflefungus: Well what are we supposed to do with it?

Malex: (Flustered to the point of confusion.) I don’t know! Leave it alone! (Starts mumbling about the Malex Minute.)

Linus: See, Snufflefungus. It’s just as I told you. He’s been sucked right over the brink of madness.

Snufflefungus: Malex?

~~ Silence.

Snufflefungus: Malex? (Pauses.) If we can’t throw the fine china, can we drop it?

Malex: (Screams.)

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to Daveincamas for use of the Parade Band Cadence sound effect.

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

NameSizeAction
Episode Audio3.23 MB Download Now - 3.23 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration128.4 KB Download Now - 128.4 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

*lol*

That was hilarious! I think I can remember times my sisters and I did that to my poor mother when we were little. I like the whole bit about "Catching the china"

Linus: Whatever you say. Come on, Snuffy! Let’s go play “catch the fine china!”

Snufflefungus: Sounds like fun!

Malex: (Flustered.) No! No! Don’t “catch the fine china!”

Snufflefungus: Even more fun!

Malex: (Very flustered.) Don’t throw it either!

Snufflefungus: Well what are we supposed to do with it?

Malex: (Flustered to the point of confusion.) I don’t know! Leave it alone! (Starts mumbling about the Malex Minute.)

Linus: See, Snufflefungus. It’s just as I told you. He’s been sucked right over the brink of madness.

Snufflefungus: Malex?

~~ Silence.

Snufflefungus: Malex? (Pauses.) If we can’t throw the fine china, can we drop it?

Malex: (Screams.)

LOL!

God gave us music, that we might pray without words

haha!

XD Funny!!!!! Linus sounds like an annoyed older sibling XD

That was really funny, especially since Malex was asleep when he wrote part of it! XD XD

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

Lol!

This episode makes me think of the Lamb Chop video Don't Wake Your Mom. Only really twisted. Like always. X-D

Malex: (Flustered.) No! No! Don’t “catch the fine china!”

Snufflefungus: Even more fun!

LOL! So LOL!

Brilliant as ever, boys!

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Peter's picture

Hehe

Thanks a lot! XD

In case anyone noticed the suffering quality of the illustration, it’s because the tip of my WACOM® pen stopped working late last week. @-D I’ve been using the large and clumsy eraser end.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Oh my, Quartz.

Isn't there something you can do other than use the eraser end? Is there some else you use?

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Alex's picture

Replacement

Aisling said:

Isn't there something you can do other than use the eraser end? Is there some else you use?

Sure there is! He can use the replacement pen we ordered… on Wednesday, when it arrives. ;)

IMHO, he did an amazing job given what he had to work with.

ttyl

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Yay, Quartz!

I agree with Malex! It looks wonderful!

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

Peter's picture

Hehe

Thanks! :D

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Hilarious!

Poor Malex. This episode was perhaps a little too realistic. Little Snuffy just wants to play! And his voice sounds really cute. And Linus sounds so nice when he's offering to play with Snuffy. When Malex started sobbing in frustration, I felt so bad for him, I just wanted to feed him, or something! And the illustration is just fabulous. One of your best, Quartz, which is odd considering your wacom pen situation.

When you first told me that only the eraser end was working, I was afraid that in order to draw a picture, you'd have to fill the whole pad with ink, and erase the parts you didn't want. I'm glad I was wrong.

Thanks, guys, for a wonderful Minute.

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Peter's picture

Really??

SangMing said:

… And the illustration is just fabulous. One of your best, Quartz, which is odd considering your wacom pen situation.

Thanks! @-D XD

SangMing said:

When you first told me that only the eraser end was working, I was afraid that in order to draw a picture, you'd have to fill the whole pad with ink, and erase the parts you didn't want. I'm glad I was wrong.

So am I! XD @-D :P

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

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