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Malex Minute 154

Malex happens upon Linus and Snuffy in the midst of shenanigans, and has a nervous breakdown! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

Once again, Linus and Snuffy are found to be engaging in activities of questionable value!*

Malex’s response is typically maladaptive. Nervous breakdowns? Ha!

On a more somber note, what’s to be done about all these solicitations?

I found an item in my mailbox today which smacked of a very official document. It almost looked like something I might get from my medical insurance company. It called for my attention! It desperately tried to distract me from my singular goal of getting into my apartment and finding something to eat! But I was able to confidently cram it in the wastebasket because it was addressed to “Our neighbor at,” my address.

“Our neighbor at?!” People, please! Don’t you realize that if you approach me and you don’t even know my name I will refuse to do business with you out of principle?! If you email, or write, or call, and fail to address me by my full and proper name, I will promptly and courteously ignore you.

This is not to say that, if you do know my name, I will feel in any way compelled to do business with you. But if you do start by identifying yourself and addressing me by name, I will probably wait to start ignoring you until after your first three sentences.**

Meh! Bitterness is called for here!

I know I didn’t really talk about the episode at all. We hope you enjoy it anyway!


––Alex Markley

Are you sure you don’t want it? There’s only a little bit of gravel in it…

* - Or at least, activities which are – in some way – unbearably silly.

** - Or first hundred words. Whichever comes first.


~~ Introduction

Malex: Hey everybody, and welcome to the–

Snufflefungus: Malex, where do we keep the lighter fluid?

Malex: What do you–

Snufflefungus: Linus wants to know.

Linus: Never mind the fuzzball, Malex. (Whispering.) Snuffy, I told you not to ask Malex. He’ll get all upset!

Snufflefungus: Oh… Why?

Malex: Now just what is going on here?!

Linus: Why nothing, Malex. Why don’t you just get on with your silly little show? We’ll be off doing things you don’t need to worry about.

Malex: You want me to not worry?

Linus: Consider it a chance to pay me back for every time you’ve annoyed me in the past several years.

Malex: (Angry.) What?!

Snufflefungus: Uh…

Linus: (Condescending.) It’s just, I’ve been noticing your horizons of ‘annoying’ are expanding. As a friend, it’s my duty to inform you.

Snufflefungus: Guys…?

Malex: (Outraged.) And it’s my duty to inform you that you can take your opinion and–

Snufflefungus: (Yells.) I love the snow!

~~ Awkward silence.

Linus: (Grunts in agreement.)

Malex: (Grudgingly.) Yeah, snow is good.

Snufflefungus: (Cheerful.) Isn’t it?! And there’s been so much of it!

Malex: Yeah, we have had quite a lot of snow recently. In fact, it’s still snowing now. Although, I must admit, I’m… I’ve been quite baffled as to why we haven’t seen any accumulation yet.

Linus: (Feigned innocence.) No accumulation? I hadn’t noticed.

Malex: It’s been snowing non-stop for days and yet there’s not a single flake on the ground.

Linus: I wouldn’t worry about it.

Malex: You wouldn’t happen to know anything about it, would you?

Linus: Why, I don’t know what you mean.

Malex: I think you do.

Linus: Well, it might have to do with some harmless experiments.

Malex: Experiments?

Linus: …with Snuffy’s weird brain powers…?

Snufflefungus: It was so fun! Linus and I built the world’s biggest snowman! And Linus said that we could–

Linus: No I didn’t. Snuffy, Malex can’t know about the giant snowman!

Malex: What in the world…

Snufflefungus: Too late, Malex just found it!

Malex: (Indistinct gurgling.)

Linus: Snuffy, pull the blinds! Quick!

Snufflefungus: Okay!

Malex: (Stuttering.) How– How did you guys ever build a snowman that huge?!

Linus: Snuffy did it with his brain. Your simple mind wouldn’t understand.

Malex: But why?!

Snufflefungus: Linus wanted to–

Linus: Oh no you don’t! Don’t you pin your crazy little ideas on me. What Snuffy meant to say is that he wanted to build the world’s largest snowman and then melt it down into a gigantic swimming pool. I told him, “No, Snuffy. That’s a bad idea.” But does anyone listen to me? No! No one ever listens to the laptop!

Snufflefungus: You never said that, Linus! And it was your idea…

Malex: Wait wait wait, slow down! One, a swimming pool?! That’s… That will never work! And two, do you really expect me to overlook how totally lying you are?

Linus: Fine! But why won’t it work, Chubby?

Malex: Did you just call me “Chubby?“

Linus: Slip of the tongue.

Malex: If you melt a snowman that’s over seventy feet tall, we’ll just have a flood!

Snufflefungus: Not if the snowman was placed in a large hole first!

Malex: What?!

Snufflefungus: The snowman will just melt into a big swimming pool in the big hole Linus and I dug for him.

Malex: The snowman is sitting in a hole in the ground?

Snufflefungus: Yes.

Malex: Snuffy, how deep is this hole?

Snufflefungus: I think the hole was at least twenty feet deep. But, you know, we didn’t really measure.

Malex: So when all the snow melts, we’ll just have a giant pond in the backyard.

Linus: No, idiot. A swimming pool.

Malex: What are you going to do with a swimming pool in the dead of winter?! Besides, neither one of you can swim!

Linus: What planet are you from? The swimming pool isn’t for swimming, it’s for ice skating!

Snufflefungus: Yay ice skating!

Malex: But– But– Neither of you can ice skate either!

Snufflefungus: You never know until you try, Malex!

Malex: (Screams.) Arrgh!

Linus: While Malex has his nervous breakdown of the month, we’ll just go finish our project, Snuffy.

Snufflefungus: Ladies, Gentlemen, and Snowmen, I think that’s all the time we have for this episode! Have lots of fun in the snow, and come back next week!

~~ End


Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Leela and Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to R. Humphries for use of the Thunder Storm sound effect.

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

Episode Audio2.89 MB Download Now - 2.89 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration111.74 KB Download Now - 111.74 KB View Now - Episode Illustration



I love these kinds of episodes! Linus and Snuffy are so like real children with one major difference: they have the power to enact their imaginative plans.

Malex and Linus said:

Linus: Fine! But why won’t it work, Chubby?

Malex: Did you just call me “Chubby?“

Linus: Slip of the tongue.

LOL! Awesome delivery!

Everything looks perfect from far away.


nice! I like the piece of gum part at the end. Nicely put together. I love the MM's!

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

Peter's picture


Thanks, all! XD Very glad to hear it!

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)


I really liked this one, guys. The script is so very convoluted! Why, if they wanted to ice skate, would they build a giant snowman first? It makes me think of Abbot & Costello.

Great job on the delivery of the lines, guys. This is a very funny episode.

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

So much fun

I, too, enjoyed this episode. I especially enjoyed that artwork! It has a very different feel to it. And the colors are so bright. And the sky is just beautiful! I love it, Quartz! Way to go! Hehe, Fopsworth, your delivery of linus' little "slip of the tongue" comment was priceless! Great job everyone!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

- Proverbs 3:5-6

Peter's picture


Thanks a lot, Noble Wisdom! :D

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)


I too loved this minute. Some of the lines reminded me of how siblings would act. I've always seen Linus and Snuffy as siblings and Malex as the parent. But thats just me being the weird person I am. :)

Anyways. great job everyone! I loved it!

God gave us music, that we might pray without words

Peter's picture


Maybe you’re not as far off as you think! o_o

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Alex's picture

Thank Leela

Thank Leela for this one, guys. She came up with the original premise and draft for the episode. :)

I thought she did a great job, too.


Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”


YAY Leela!!!! Good job! *applauds wildly*

God gave us music, that we might pray without words

Peter's picture


***Applauds also. :-J

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)


Way to Go, Leela. *sniff* You make me so proud.*sniff*

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

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