Malex happens upon Linus and Snuffy in the midst of shenanigans, and has a nervous breakdown! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.
Once again, Linus and Snuffy are found to be engaging in activities of questionable value!*
Malex’s response is typically maladaptive. Nervous breakdowns? Ha!
On a more somber note, what’s to be done about all these solicitations?
I found an item in my mailbox today which smacked of a very official document. It almost looked like something I might get from my medical insurance company. It called for my attention! It desperately tried to distract me from my singular goal of getting into my apartment and finding something to eat! But I was able to confidently cram it in the wastebasket because it was addressed to “Our neighbor at,” my address.
“Our neighbor at?!” People, please! Don’t you realize that if you approach me and you don’t even know my name I will refuse to do business with you out of principle?! If you email, or write, or call, and fail to address me by my full and proper name, I will promptly and courteously ignore you.
This is not to say that, if you do know my name, I will feel in any way compelled to do business with you. But if you do start by identifying yourself and addressing me by name, I will probably wait to start ignoring you until after your first three sentences.**
Meh! Bitterness is called for here!
I know I didn’t really talk about the episode at all. We hope you enjoy it anyway!
Are you sure you don’t want it? There’s only a little bit of gravel in it…
* - Or at least, activities which are – in some way – unbearably silly.
** - Or first hundred words. Whichever comes first.
Malex: Hey everybody, and welcome to the–
Snufflefungus: Malex, where do we keep the lighter fluid?
Malex: What do you–
Snufflefungus: Linus wants to know.
Linus: Never mind the fuzzball, Malex. (Whispering.) Snuffy, I told you not to ask Malex. He’ll get all upset!
Snufflefungus: Oh… Why?
Malex: Now just what is going on here?!
Linus: Why nothing, Malex. Why don’t you just get on with your silly little show? We’ll be off doing things you don’t need to worry about.
Malex: You want me to not worry?
Linus: Consider it a chance to pay me back for every time you’ve annoyed me in the past several years.
Malex: (Angry.) What?!
Linus: (Condescending.) It’s just, I’ve been noticing your horizons of ‘annoying’ are expanding. As a friend, it’s my duty to inform you.
Malex: (Outraged.) And it’s my duty to inform you that you can take your opinion and–
Snufflefungus: (Yells.) I love the snow!
~~ Awkward silence.
Linus: (Grunts in agreement.)
Malex: (Grudgingly.) Yeah, snow is good.
Snufflefungus: (Cheerful.) Isn’t it?! And there’s been so much of it!
Malex: Yeah, we have had quite a lot of snow recently. In fact, it’s still snowing now. Although, I must admit, I’m… I’ve been quite baffled as to why we haven’t seen any accumulation yet.
Linus: (Feigned innocence.) No accumulation? I hadn’t noticed.
Malex: It’s been snowing non-stop for days and yet there’s not a single flake on the ground.
Linus: I wouldn’t worry about it.
Malex: You wouldn’t happen to know anything about it, would you?
Linus: Why, I don’t know what you mean.
Malex: I think you do.
Linus: Well, it might have to do with some harmless experiments.
Linus: …with Snuffy’s weird brain powers…?
Snufflefungus: It was so fun! Linus and I built the world’s biggest snowman! And Linus said that we could–
Linus: No I didn’t. Snuffy, Malex can’t know about the giant snowman!
Malex: What in the world…
Snufflefungus: Too late, Malex just found it!
Malex: (Indistinct gurgling.)
Linus: Snuffy, pull the blinds! Quick!
Malex: (Stuttering.) How– How did you guys ever build a snowman that huge?!
Linus: Snuffy did it with his brain. Your simple mind wouldn’t understand.
Malex: But why?!
Snufflefungus: Linus wanted to–
Linus: Oh no you don’t! Don’t you pin your crazy little ideas on me. What Snuffy meant to say is that he wanted to build the world’s largest snowman and then melt it down into a gigantic swimming pool. I told him, “No, Snuffy. That’s a bad idea.” But does anyone listen to me? No! No one ever listens to the laptop!
Snufflefungus: You never said that, Linus! And it was your idea…
Malex: Wait wait wait, slow down! One, a swimming pool?! That’s… That will never work! And two, do you really expect me to overlook how totally lying you are?
Linus: Fine! But why won’t it work, Chubby?
Malex: Did you just call me “Chubby?“
Linus: Slip of the tongue.
Malex: If you melt a snowman that’s over seventy feet tall, we’ll just have a flood!
Snufflefungus: Not if the snowman was placed in a large hole first!
Snufflefungus: The snowman will just melt into a big swimming pool in the big hole Linus and I dug for him.
Malex: The snowman is sitting in a hole in the ground?
Malex: Snuffy, how deep is this hole?
Snufflefungus: I think the hole was at least twenty feet deep. But, you know, we didn’t really measure.
Malex: So when all the snow melts, we’ll just have a giant pond in the backyard.
Linus: No, idiot. A swimming pool.
Malex: What are you going to do with a swimming pool in the dead of winter?! Besides, neither one of you can swim!
Linus: What planet are you from? The swimming pool isn’t for swimming, it’s for ice skating!
Snufflefungus: Yay ice skating!
Malex: But– But– Neither of you can ice skate either!
Snufflefungus: You never know until you try, Malex!
Malex: (Screams.) Arrgh!
Linus: While Malex has his nervous breakdown of the month, we’ll just go finish our project, Snuffy.
Snufflefungus: Ladies, Gentlemen, and Snowmen, I think that’s all the time we have for this episode! Have lots of fun in the snow, and come back next week!
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writers: Leela and Alex Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers
Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley
Illustration: Peter Markley
Release manager: Peter Markley
Recording assistance: Leela
Thanks to everyone for their help and support.