Snuffy plays with puppets! Or is it the puppets that are playing with Snuffy? Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.
One hundred and fifty episodes?! What an unprecedented achievement! That is, unprecedented for us. As in, this is the Malex Minute’s first hundred and fiftieth episode. And frankly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I dearly hope none of you have come to take the token appearance of Little Red Riding Squirrel for granted. His presence is meant to inspire a certain level of terror, and if we get too comfy with him we might find ourselves seared to the effect. And then where will we be? As they say, familiarity breeds cupcakes.
Regarding the episode itself, I think we can safely assume that Snufflefungus is not, in fact, in control of Mr. Howdy. Mr. Howdy’s dark work can only be driven forward by an engine of concentrated malevolence. And that is not Snuffy.
Due to my recent experimentation with new heights of exhaustion, I find my thoughts to be largely scattered and entirely too incoherent for the printed word. In fact, entire sentences seem to be popping in and out wherever the whole wide world might find–
Malex: Welcome to the Malex Minute, Ladies and Gentlemen!
Linus: Aw, do they have to be welcome?
Mr. Howdy: Howdy, everybody! I’m Mr. Howdy!
Malex: Why Snufflefungus, have you taken up puppeteering?
Snufflefungus: Yes! Mr. Howdy is my friend!
Linus: Puppets?! Malex, uninstall me now. Uninstall me now!
Malex: Linus, I will not uninstall you.
Linus: (Choked with panic.) Then shoot me! I can’t live through the stupidity!
Malex: Well, I like Mr. Howdy. He’s a cute little puppet, and you do such a good job with him, Snuffy!
Mr. Howdy: I’m a squirrel hunter! (Makes gun cocking sound effect with mouth.) They’re the best eatin’ around these parts!
Snufflefungus: (Explanatory.) Mr. Howdy and I don’t agree on everything, but we’re still friends!
Linus: How touching. I’m gonna go take a bath.
Malex: Linus, don’t talk about suicide on my show. Snuffy, it’s good to get along with people you don’t agree with. And there’s nothing wrong with hunting for food.
Snufflefungus: There’s nothing wrong with hunting for food?
Malex: That’s right. Many great men in the history of the world provided for their families by hunting.
Mr. Howdy: I don’t have a family to provide for.
Malex: Well that’s alright–
Mr. Howdy: I kill for sport.
Malex: That’s terrible, Snuffy!
Snufflefungus: (Distressed.) It’s not my fault! Mr. Howdy and I don’t agree on everything!
Linus: Now this is suddenly interesting.
Malex: Snuffy, you should reign in your puppet a little bit. This is a children’s show after all.
Snufflefungus: (Uncertain.) I’ll try.
Mr. Howdy: I found a new friend on the way over here. Meet Mr. Sock!
Mr. Sock: Hi everybody!
Linus: (Obnoxious.) Yawn; boring! The show has hit rock bottom. The impact is still echoing through Hell.
Malex: Hello there, Mr. Sock. I hope you’re more polite than Mr. Howdy.
Snufflefungus: Don’t look at me, I’ve never seen Mr. Sock before!
Mr. Howdy: So, Mr. Sock, ever tasted squirrel meat?
Mr. Sock: Why no, Mr. Howdy, I have not!
Mr. Howdy: You sure would like squirrel meat, Mr. Sock!
Mr. Sock: You really think so, Mr. Howdy?
Mr. Howdy: Absolutely! I should see if I can’t get you a squirrel here pretty soon.
Malex: Whoa whoa whoa! Snuffy, this is getting out of hand.
Snufflefungus: (Distressed.) Don’t you think I know this? I know this!
Mr. Sock: So, Mr. Howdy, how do we go about finding a squirrel to kill?
Linus: I need to be taking notes here.
Malex: That’s enough! This is incredibly inappropriate.
Mr. Howdy: Who are you to tell us what to do?
Mr. Sock: Yeah! Who do you think you are?!
Malex: This is my show! This is my house!
Linus: Don’t listen to Malex, he’s deluding himself.
Mr. Howdy: Don’t push it, Mr. Malex. I’ve got a gun, and I’m not afraid to use it.
Malex: Hey, wait a minute! Snuffy, you don’t even own any socks!
Snufflefungus: I know.
Malex: You don’t even have any feet!
Snufflefungus: I know!
Malex: So where did Mr. Sock come from?!
Snufflefungus: That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you: I don’t know!
Little Red Riding Squirrel: It’s’a me! Little Red Riding Squirrel!
Linus: Little Red Riding Squirrel! Your presence can only make things worse, and yet I’m somehow glad to see you. Maybe I’m crashed…
Malex: Little Red Riding Squirrel, why are you here?
Little Red Riding Squirrel: I’m looking for my– Aha! There you are, my Sockling!
Mr. Sock: No! No! You are the enemy!
Mr. Howdy: Let’s kill the squirrel!
Mr. Sock: Yeah, and eat it!
Little Red Riding Squirrel: But– But my Sockling, what have I ever done to incur such wrath?
Mr. Sock: You’ve been walking all over me for so many years! Now is the time to pay!
Little Red Riding Squirrel: Oh no, is that a gun?! Arrgh!
Mr. Howdy: Come back here! We’re not done with you yet!
Little Red Riding Squirrel: (Screaming in the distance.)
~~ Awkward silence.
Snufflefungus: I’m glad Mr. Howdy and Mr. Sock are gone.
Linus: Yeah, that was a little too much for me too.
Snufflefungus: Did Malex faint over there?
Linus: Yup. Looks like.
Snufflefungus: So do you want to end the episode?
Linus: (Whispering.) No, we should be quiet and let Malex sleep. Come on.
Snufflefungus: (Whispering.) Okay!
~~ Long silence.
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writers: Alex Markley and Peter Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers
Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley
Illustration: Peter Markley
Release manager: Peter Markley
Recording assistance: Leela
Thanks to everyone for their help and support.