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Malex Minute 144

Linus wants to buy his friends presents for Christmas, but he doesn’t have any money. How do you think Linus will deal with this situation? Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

December is in the air! Which, for most of us, usually means shopping, crowds, and stressing over money! (Unless you use charge cards, which can put off the money stress until next year!)*

Linus deals with money stress in a manner different than most. But, terrifyingly, not different enough to be any sort of comfort. Malex, as usual, is right about making Linus get a job, but can you imagine that happening? Me neither.

We wrote and produced this episode in September, and promptly took a three month vacation from the Malex Minute altogether! Admittedly, we didn’t intend to burn through our whole stash, but we did accomplish a lot of great work during that ‘vacation.’ (The new web site comes immediately to mind.)

Anyway, we finally got back on the ball this week and produced Malex Minute episodes through the end of December. That’ll keep new episodes coming out while I move to Cleveland!

Yes, it’s time you all know. I’ve gotten a job in Cleveland, Ohio, and I’m moving there today. There’s been a lot of madness leading up to this (and quite a few miracles, too) but it’s all clicking into place this weekend. I’ll start my new job on Monday, and after that I’ll probably write a blog entry or two for those of you who are interested to know more.

You might wonder what’ll happen to the Malex Minute with me living some three hours away from my brothers. Frankly, anything could happen, but we’re all committed to keeping the Malex Minute running weekly without a break. I’m not quite sure what the production schedule will be yet, but my guess is that we’ll collaborate on scripts over the Internet and get together for big recording sessions every month.

Yes, even in the face of incredible adversity we still band together to entertain you. Take us for granted and feel shame!

ttyl!

——Alex Markley

“Excellent! Now all we have to do is find a way to get it down out of the tree…”

* - Hint: One month away…

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Malex: Hey everybody, and welcome to Malex Minute Quarter Twelve!

Snufflefungus: That’s not a prime number!

Linus: (Matter-of-factly.) Yes it is.

Malex: It’s divisible by six. And two.

Linus: So?

Malex: And four. And three.

Linus: You’re mocking me, aren’t you?!

Malex: I wouldn’t dream of it.

Snufflefungus: Oh, Malex, it’s almost Christmas again!

Linus: Already? It feels like summer ended only a few days ago.

Malex: I know the feeling. But the calendar hardly lies.

Snufflefungus: It almost never lies!

Linus: Key word being almost.

Malex: So, Snufflefungus, feeling particularly cheerful this Christmas season?

Snufflefungus: Oh yes! I love Christmas so much! I’ve even done all my shopping already!

Linus: What? Already?!

Malex: I’ve done all my shopping already as well. Makes me feel very good to have something done ahead of time for once.

Linus: You’ve got to be kidding me! I wasn’t planning on doing any shopping for another four weeks!

Snufflefungus: But Linus, Christmas is in two weeks and six days!

Linus: Exactly! That way I’ll beat all the crowds. And all the prices!

Malex: Your brain is priceless, you know that?

Linus: (Defiant.) I don’t have a brain!

Malex: That’s amusing.

Linus: (Defensive.) It’s an artificial intelligence matrix!

Malex: And when I die, I’ll will you to science. You’re just that peculiar.

Snufflefungus: Linus, if you don’t do your shopping soon, you’ll be the only one not giving any presents!

Linus: Don’t remind me! I feel guilty enough about it already!

Malex: You could do something about it…

Linus: No I can’t! (Lip quavering, digging for sympathy.) I don’t have any money!

Malex: What do you expect me to do, commiserate with you? You’re the only member of this household who doesn’t have a job. Of course you don’t have any money!

Linus: I’m too beautiful to have to work!

Snufflefungus: (Disbelief.) I don’t think so.

Malex: Actually, Linus, this does bring up a very important point. I don’t think I’m going to put up with you living under my roof without having a job for very much longer.

Linus: What?!

Malex: After all, you do use up a significant amount of energy, and you don’t contribute much in return.

Linus: What about my indomitable wit and charisma?

Malex: Indomitable is the word alright.

Linus: But, surely they count for something!

Snufflefungus: Not toward the power bills!

Linus: That’s an electric bill?

Snufflefungus: (Cheerful.) It’s as tall as Malex!

Malex: So, Linus, the point is I think you should get a job.

Linus: This is all because I haven’t gotten you a present yet, isn’t it?!

Malex: Not at all! It’s just the principle of the thing!

Linus: I never knew you could be so petty, Malex!

Malex: I’m not being petty, I–

Linus: I think you are! You’re ragging on me because you love Snufflefungus more!

Malex: Are you insane?!

Linus: If I’m crazy, it’s because I’m crazy with rejection!

Malex: Linus, I’m sorry if you feel rejected, I–

Linus: (Hopeful.) I’ll forgive you if you reinstate my allowance.

Malex: Of course! I’ll– What?!

Linus: You agreed! No take-backs!

Snufflefungus: Malex, why does Linus get an allowance when I don’t?

Malex: Snuffy, Linus isn’t getting–

Linus: You promised!

Malex: Well I–

Snufflefungus: I just don’t think it’s very fair…

Malex: Okay, fine! You both get an allowance. Five dollars a year, starting right now. Here, two crisp five-dollar bills.

Snufflefungus: Oh thank you, Malex! I’ll treasure this always!

Linus: Score! I guess you’re both getting tic tacs for Christmas. You can share one box.

Malex: I’m touched.

Snufflefungus: Oh, Linus, thank you! You’re such a good friend!

Linus: I’m gonna go out and rent a couple movies. Bye!

Malex: Well everybody, I guess that’s all for today. Thanks so much for listening, and we hope you’ll join us again next week for another Malex Minute!

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Alex Markley and Peter Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio2.51 MB Download Now - 2.51 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration214.85 KB Download Now - 214.85 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

lol

Sales tax!!!!! What do you mean sales tax!!!!!!!!

lol!!!! X-D

God gave us music, that we might pray without words

LOL!

The Malex Minute said:

Linus: I’ll forgive you if you reinstate my allowance.

Malex: Of course! I’ll– What?!

Linus: You agreed! No take-backs!

LOL! Linus is getting more and more childish.

The Malex Minute said:

Linus: Score! I guess you’re both getting tic tacs for Christmas. You can share one box.

Tic tacs make good stocking-stuffers! :D

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Wonderful!

You guys have outdone yourselves this time. Linus sounds exceptionally whiney, Snuffy sounds extra cheerful, and Malex sounds more overwhelmed than usual. Great work!

Special kudos for that nauseating picture of Linus, Quartz. If I EVER see anything like that in MY living room.....

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Susie Markley's picture

lol

Great episode in every way, guys! XD

SangMing said:

"Linus sounds exceptionally whiney..."

The episode we recorded recently, (Not this one) But, Malex actually told Linus to, "Turn up the Girl scout a little bit" LOL XD XD XD

#HowManyLicksDoesItTake to change a lightbulb?

Peter's picture

Yeah

During the recording, Alex was giving Gabe some director’s input. :P

SangMing said:

Special kudos for that nauseating picture of Linus, Quartz. If I EVER see anything like that in MY living room.....

Why, thank you! XD It was mildly painful to draw, but you gotta do what you gotta do… *lol*

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Malex Minute said: Linus:

Malex Minute said:

Linus: (Hopeful.) I’ll forgive you if you reinstate my allowance.

Malex: Of course! I’ll– What?!

Linus: You agreed! No take-backs!

That sounds like something DragonBro used to do back in the day... He would make my parents feel all guilty until they were agreeing with everything he said and then make them promise something outrageous... Of course, I never did that... XD

A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous.

Peter's picture

*lol*

XD

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Mariel 7's picture

... uh huh

*** Mariel 7 totally believes Dragonman

;) :-P X-D X-D X-D :-D

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Susie Markley's picture

Of course!

Dragon is a good boy!

;)

#HowManyLicksDoesItTake to change a lightbulb?

Nightmare

DragonMan said:

He would make my parents feel all guilty until they were agreeing with everything he said and then make them promise something outrageous...

At my house, we've got 5-way jealousy and one-upmanship. And believe me, some of these guys are good at it.

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Gabriel's picture

That's not true!!

You're just saying that cause I'm not your favorite!!! :'( :-(( :-((

JK, Mom, you're the best for putting up with us!!! :D :D :D

PS. Don't kill me!! I was JKing!! ;)

God answers my prayers. He lifts me up. He gives me my breaths and refills my cup.

Mariel 7's picture

... um ... Fops?

Why is your mother cocking a double-barreled Popcorn gun at you :-?

( :-O (:) X-D )

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Not amused

Okay, you're 2 for 2 at this point, Foppy. Beware the wrath of Ngauh Wong Mu!

Besides, I have no favorites. How could anyone choose a favorite among the 5 wonderful kids that God has blessed my life with? :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Susie Markley's picture

heheh...

Always save best for last, eh? XD

*Tightens face muscles, grins, and prepares to be slapped*

#HowManyLicksDoesItTake to change a lightbulb?

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