Linus wants to buy his friends presents for Christmas, but he doesn’t have any money. How do you think Linus will deal with this situation? Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.
December is in the air! Which, for most of us, usually means shopping, crowds, and stressing over money! (Unless you use charge cards, which can put off the money stress until next year!)*
Linus deals with money stress in a manner different than most. But, terrifyingly, not different enough to be any sort of comfort. Malex, as usual, is right about making Linus get a job, but can you imagine that happening? Me neither.
We wrote and produced this episode in September, and promptly took a three month vacation from the Malex Minute altogether! Admittedly, we didn’t intend to burn through our whole stash, but we did accomplish a lot of great work during that ‘vacation.’ (The new web site comes immediately to mind.)
Anyway, we finally got back on the ball this week and produced Malex Minute episodes through the end of December. That’ll keep new episodes coming out while I move to Cleveland!
Yes, it’s time you all know. I’ve gotten a job in Cleveland, Ohio, and I’m moving there today. There’s been a lot of madness leading up to this (and quite a few miracles, too) but it’s all clicking into place this weekend. I’ll start my new job on Monday, and after that I’ll probably write a blog entry or two for those of you who are interested to know more.
You might wonder what’ll happen to the Malex Minute with me living some three hours away from my brothers. Frankly, anything could happen, but we’re all committed to keeping the Malex Minute running weekly without a break. I’m not quite sure what the production schedule will be yet, but my guess is that we’ll collaborate on scripts over the Internet and get together for big recording sessions every month.
Yes, even in the face of incredible adversity we still band together to entertain you. Take us for granted and feel shame!
“Excellent! Now all we have to do is find a way to get it down out of the tree…”
* - Hint: One month away…
Malex: Hey everybody, and welcome to Malex Minute Quarter Twelve!
Snufflefungus: That’s not a prime number!
Linus: (Matter-of-factly.) Yes it is.
Malex: It’s divisible by six. And two.
Malex: And four. And three.
Linus: You’re mocking me, aren’t you?!
Malex: I wouldn’t dream of it.
Snufflefungus: Oh, Malex, it’s almost Christmas again!
Linus: Already? It feels like summer ended only a few days ago.
Malex: I know the feeling. But the calendar hardly lies.
Snufflefungus: It almost never lies!
Linus: Key word being almost.
Malex: So, Snufflefungus, feeling particularly cheerful this Christmas season?
Snufflefungus: Oh yes! I love Christmas so much! I’ve even done all my shopping already!
Linus: What? Already?!
Malex: I’ve done all my shopping already as well. Makes me feel very good to have something done ahead of time for once.
Linus: You’ve got to be kidding me! I wasn’t planning on doing any shopping for another four weeks!
Snufflefungus: But Linus, Christmas is in two weeks and six days!
Linus: Exactly! That way I’ll beat all the crowds. And all the prices!
Malex: Your brain is priceless, you know that?
Linus: (Defiant.) I don’t have a brain!
Malex: That’s amusing.
Linus: (Defensive.) It’s an artificial intelligence matrix!
Malex: And when I die, I’ll will you to science. You’re just that peculiar.
Snufflefungus: Linus, if you don’t do your shopping soon, you’ll be the only one not giving any presents!
Linus: Don’t remind me! I feel guilty enough about it already!
Malex: You could do something about it…
Linus: No I can’t! (Lip quavering, digging for sympathy.) I don’t have any money!
Malex: What do you expect me to do, commiserate with you? You’re the only member of this household who doesn’t have a job. Of course you don’t have any money!
Linus: I’m too beautiful to have to work!
Snufflefungus: (Disbelief.) I don’t think so.
Malex: Actually, Linus, this does bring up a very important point. I don’t think I’m going to put up with you living under my roof without having a job for very much longer.
Malex: After all, you do use up a significant amount of energy, and you don’t contribute much in return.
Linus: What about my indomitable wit and charisma?
Malex: Indomitable is the word alright.
Linus: But, surely they count for something!
Snufflefungus: Not toward the power bills!
Linus: That’s an electric bill?
Snufflefungus: (Cheerful.) It’s as tall as Malex!
Malex: So, Linus, the point is I think you should get a job.
Linus: This is all because I haven’t gotten you a present yet, isn’t it?!
Malex: Not at all! It’s just the principle of the thing!
Linus: I never knew you could be so petty, Malex!
Malex: I’m not being petty, I–
Linus: I think you are! You’re ragging on me because you love Snufflefungus more!
Malex: Are you insane?!
Linus: If I’m crazy, it’s because I’m crazy with rejection!
Malex: Linus, I’m sorry if you feel rejected, I–
Linus: (Hopeful.) I’ll forgive you if you reinstate my allowance.
Malex: Of course! I’ll– What?!
Linus: You agreed! No take-backs!
Snufflefungus: Malex, why does Linus get an allowance when I don’t?
Malex: Snuffy, Linus isn’t getting–
Linus: You promised!
Malex: Well I–
Snufflefungus: I just don’t think it’s very fair…
Malex: Okay, fine! You both get an allowance. Five dollars a year, starting right now. Here, two crisp five-dollar bills.
Snufflefungus: Oh thank you, Malex! I’ll treasure this always!
Linus: Score! I guess you’re both getting tic tacs for Christmas. You can share one box.
Malex: I’m touched.
Snufflefungus: Oh, Linus, thank you! You’re such a good friend!
Linus: I’m gonna go out and rent a couple movies. Bye!
Malex: Well everybody, I guess that’s all for today. Thanks so much for listening, and we hope you’ll join us again next week for another Malex Minute!
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writers: Alex Markley and Peter Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers
Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley
Illustration: Peter Markley
Release manager: Peter Markley
Recording assistance: Leela
Thanks to everyone for their help and support.