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Malex Minute 139

Happy Halloween! Hope the demons don’t get you! Also, President Anchorman is running against Brian McPopular. Who do you think is going to win? Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think!

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

Halloween is in the air! Can’t you feel it? It’s in the bite of the chilly air! It’s in the wave of terror as darkness consumes the land! Actually, that could all be due to the impending election… But still, Halloween is tonight!

Halloween is the one time our culture, as a whole, is ready and willing to embrace spiritual things. Problem is, it seems like we’re only interested in embracing terrible spiritual things. Things traditionally thought of as devious, antagonistic, and generally creepy.

You don’t agree? How else do you explain the sudden proliferation of witches, ghosts, goblins, and other monstrous phenomenon on every street in every suburb across the entire country? (And, I have on good authority, in the United Kingdom as well!)* Lord knows we don’t find ourselves inundated by angels on Easter, so the imbalance is pretty plain.

Snufflefungus, like many children, probably assumed Halloween was an innocent playtime fraught with candy and fun dress-up games. Well, I think it’s safe to say he’s learned his lesson.

Lots of fun in this episode as well as the next. Hope you enjoy it!

ttyl!

——Alex Markley

“Nothing will ever get so bad that change can’t make it worse.”

* - My source wishes to remain anonymous to avoid incurring the wrath of the demons.

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Malex: Hey everybody, welcome to–

Linus: It’s Halloween! Everybody’s favorite holiday, filled with candy and mischief!

Malex: And questionable spiritual interaction.

Linus: Oh please, this is the twenty-first century! If there ever was any danger from spirits, there certainly isn’t now!

Snufflefungus: I hope you’re right! I wouldn’t want any demons knocking on the door, asking for candy.

Malex: I think we’ll be okay, Snuffy. Say, are we all ready for trick-or-treat this year?

Snufflefungus: I have the candy right here! We have chocolate-covered candy, candy-covered chocolate, candies with peanut butter, candies without peanut butter, pure marshmallows for the weird kids, and a loaded paintball gun for if things get out of hand!

Malex: Great! Sounds like we’re all set. And with any luck, we can avoid the horrible disaster from last year.

~~ The doorbell rings.

Snufflefungus: Ooh! Our first trick-or-treater! (Opens door.)

Kids: Trick or treat!

Snufflefungus: Here you go, kids! (Closes door.) They seemed so nice!

Linus: So anyway, Malex. The presidential election is coming up!

Malex: Yes, yes it is.

Linus: So who are you voting for? President Anchorman or Brian McPopular?

Malex: Are you kidding? Of course I’m voting for Brian McPopular. President Anchorman has been a terrible president, and I’m ready for change.

Snufflefungus: And I’m ready for a dollar and change!

Linus: I have to agree with you. President Anchorman hasn’t spoken a single coherent sentence during his entire presidency!

Malex: That’s true. But really, that’s not the big problem for me. I don’t mind if a president isn’t eloquent. I don’t even have a problem with a president who genuinely struggles to communicate. I’m mostly just one of those people who blame the president for everything that goes wrong, and can’t wait to see him go at the end of his term.

Snufflefungus: But Malex! That’s completely unreasonable!

Malex: Yeah.

~~ The doorbell rings.

Snufflefungus: Another trick-or-treater! (Opens door.)

Man: Trick or treat.

Snufflefungus: Have a candy! (Closes door.) (Excited.) That wasn’t a kid at all!

Linus: Well I’m excited about Brian McPopular. He sounds like a great guy.

Malex: Yeah, I’m all for getting him elected.

~~ The doorbell rings.

Snufflefungus: Another trick-or-treater! (Opens door.)

Kid: Trick or treat!

Snufflefungus: (Gasps) It’s Ultra-Snuffy! How did you get out of the mirror?!

Kid: I made this costume myself, you like it?

Snufflefungus: (Relieved.) Whew. (Excited.) Yes! I like it very much! Have candy! (Closes door.) He was wearing an Ultra-Snuffy costume, Malex!

Malex: I saw that!

Linus: It was even charming, in a not-charming-at-all sort of way.

~~ The doorbell rings.

Snufflefungus: I’ll get it! (Opens door.)

Demon: (Screams.) Candy!

Snufflefungus: Oh no! Demons!

Linus: (Yelling.) Close the door! Close the door!

~~ Door slams shut.

Malex: So, still think there isn’t any danger from spirits in the twenty-first century?

Linus: Hush!

Snufflefungus: I’ll make a sign! Quick! Before more demons come!

Malex: So, what were you saying Linus? About Brian McPopular?

Linus: Oh, just, it’s almost uncanny how much I agree with him. It’s like all his opinions are the same as mine.

Malex: I feel the same way! Isn’t it great?

Snufflefungus: There! What do you think?

Linus: It says, “No Candy for Demons.”

Malex: It’s just poster board, it’s not going to keep the demons out.

Snufflefungus: We have to try!

Linus: I think it’s a great idea. We just need to be up front and clear. No candy for demons. They’ll understand.

Malex: I hope so.

~~ Snufflefungus puts the sign on the front of the door.

Snufflefungus: There! The sign is posted!

Linus: Great! Now we just need to–

~~ A thumping and skittering sound.

Snufflefungus: Oh no! More demons!

Malex: (Gasps.) Did you just see a shadow pass by the window?!

Linus: Leave us alone, foul creatures of the night! Didn’t you see the sign?!

Malex: Ah! It’s on the roof!

Snufflefungus: (Afraid.) Halloween is bad!

Linus: Is it coming down the chimney?!

~~ Something tumbles down the chimney.

President Anchorman: My word, that was awfully chimney. I expect you’ll dismiss your sweep for the evening.

Malex: President Anchorman?! What are you doing here?

Linus: And why did you come down the chimney?

President Anchorman: I saw a sign on your door. It said, “No Candy for Demons,” so naturally I took it to mean that presidential candidates must use a different entrance.

Snufflefungus: Naturally!

Malex: Mr. President, please, just tell us why you’re here.

President Anchorman: It’s a disaster, young dollop. The cake is only the tip of the iceberg, if only they could see.

Malex: Yes, I’m quite sure that’s fascinating. But why are you here?

President Anchorman: I require the services of one Ultra-Snuffy! Or two, if you have an extra.

Snufflefungus: You need Ultra-Snuffy?!

President Anchorman: Yes I do, in the most dire way. You see, I am going to lose this upcoming election by an avalanche, but only by trickery and deceit.

Linus: Oh, that’s–

President Anchorman: I need you, Ultra-Snuffy, to make me popular!

Malex: Don’t you just hate it when they say, “To be continued?”

Linus: Well, to be continued! So there!

Snufflefungus: Tune in next time to find out what happens!

President Anchorman: You’ll be guaranteed to hear a storm approaching. And that storm is my jaunty collar.

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Alex Markley and Peter Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio3.48 MB Download Now - 3.48 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration256.19 KB Download Now - 256.19 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

Susie Markley's picture

*LOL*

This malex minute is SO very funny!!! *LOL* I love the way snuffy says his Demon lines:

Oh no! Demons!

XD The illistration is SO amazing Quartz! (And I love President Anchorman! I hope he wins the election! :D)

#HowManyLicksDoesItTake to change a lightbulb?

Trick or treat!

This was wonderful. Since we just went trick-or-tracting last night, this seemed especially timely.

I love President Anchorman and will NEVER vote for change. When have you ever known of a politician so upfrontly incoherent and harmless?

I loved the sound of the demons! It scared me out of my wits! :-O

Great illustration, Quartz. I like the painting in the living room.

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Alex's picture

Demon Voice

SangMing said:

I loved the sound of the demons! It scared me out of my wits! :-O

You have no idea how hard I worked on that sound alone. It took me hours and several failed attempts to get that right.

All I knew for sure is that I wanted the demon to scream “Candy!” But whatever I tried just sounded like a person screaming! And, of course, if it sounded like a person, that would sabotage my point.

Eventually, I thought to take a cue from The Mothman Prophecies, a movie with a demonic character whose voice is heard a number of times. Taking the movie's overly-dramatic discussion of the voice and working backword, I was able to construct our demon voice from fragments of electronic static and distortion. (It's all very technical, but a Vocoder ended up being a key piece of the puzzle.)

I'm actually quite proud of the results. :)

ttyl!

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Peter's picture

Hehehe

Leela said:

XD The illistration is SO amazing Quartz!

SangMing said:

Great illustration, Quartz. I like the painting in the living room.

Thanks a lot! XD I thought this one would be a hit.

Malex said:

I'm actually quite proud of the results. :)

Yeah, you did a spectacular job on it! :D

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Whoa!

Snufflefungus said:

I have the candy right here! We have chocolate-covered candy, candy-covered chocolate, candies with peanut butter, candies without peanut butter, pure marshmallows for the weird kids, and a loaded paintball gun for if things get out of hand!

LOL! I love that whole line! Wow, this was a creepy episode.

Quartz, the illustration is excellent. I especially love the painting of the ship. I wish it was real and I had a copy! And the demon outside the window is very good. It's creepy :-(| and yet not threatening. Excellent balance. (Like the muppets playing ghosts in A Muppet Christmas Carol.)

President Anchorman sounds different in this episode. More tired in this episode and less intoxicated. Not that that's a bad thing. Maybe it means he's given up drink and become world-weary. :-D

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Peter's picture

Or

Maybe his sense of priority finally kicked in when his presidency was at stake. ;)

Aisling said:

Quartz, the illustration is excellent. I especially love the painting of the ship. I wish it was real and I had a copy! And the demon outside the window is very good. It's creepy :-(| and yet not threatening. Excellent balance. (Like the muppets playing ghosts in A Muppet Christmas Carol.)

Thank you! XD I’m very glad you like it!

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

marshmallows

HAHAHA!!! i can't get over that part in the begenning when snuffy's listing off the candy... "candies without peanut butter, pure marshmallows from the wierd kids.." XD i don't know why that makes me laugh so much, but it does!

and aaaaah! cliffhangers! the horror!

great ep, guys

~goose~

"I have no important quotes"

--Gooseman

Peter's picture

Thanks!

goosemanrocks said:

… aaaaah! cliffhangers! the horror!

I’m glad we could draw you into the story! XD

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

lolololols

this is fantastically hilarious. i am listening to right now and its great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but what happend with the slugs?????!!!!!!!! NO CANDY FOR DEMONS " MICHAL"

in him am i strong. in him do i find peace in him am i complete. in him am i perfect. in him there is rest. in him there is hope. in there are infinite possibilities. in him i find true friendship. in Him , in Him in Him is all i need or will ever need fo

Peter's picture

*lol*

I’m glad you like it! XD

thecrazyone1000 said:

but what happend with the slugs?????!!!!!!!!

To answer that, I quote Malex Minute 123:

Snufflefungus: So, … the house has a tenuous relationship with reality anyway, so if the writers want to burn it down in one episode, it can still be back to normal next episode?

Malex: Uh, yeah. Exactly correct.

Linus: Do we have any plaster? ’Cause you guys just knocked a hole the size of a beach ball in the fourth wall.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Hooray Randomness!

Demon: (Screams.) Candy!

Snufflefungus: Oh no! Demons!

I liked these lines... it's just so random... XD

A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous.

lol

Snufflefungus said:

I have the candy right here! We have chocolate-covered candy, candy-covered chocolate, candies with peanut butter, candies without peanut butter, pure marshmallows for the weird kids, and a loaded paintball gun for if things get out of hand!

X-D X-D

God gave us music, that we might pray without words

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