Snufflefungus cheerfully attempts a new hobby. What kind of hobby? The best kind! The kind of hobby involving deadly snakes! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think.
Snufflefungus projects impossible cheerfulness into a deadly snake! So yeah, we’re back to normal. (You didn’t think the whole quarter would be interviews, did you?)
It’s of interest to me how rarely we seem to encounter a limitation in Snufflefungus’s bizarrely expansive set of psi powers. For all we know, he might be able to influence an election via telepathy or call down sheets of ice via cryokinesis, it just doesn’t occur to him to try. That’s right, his happiness runs so deep and his contentedness is so profound, he has simply never explored the limits of his own ability to change his circumstances.
I can’t help thinking that one day our heroes will find themselves in a jam so bad that even Snufflefungus will get desperate. And if Snufflefungus gets really desperate, who knows what might be unleashed?*
All speculation aside, we think you’ll enjoy the episode.
”Why do you ask?“
* - Three words: Flaming Spatula Maneuver.
Malex: Welcome to the Malex Minute, Ladies and Gentlemen! I’m Malex and I’ll be your host for today, along with Linus… (Expectant.)
Linus: Go away. I’m busy being grumpy.
Malex: And the Snufflefungus!
Snufflefungus: (Cheerful.) But Linus, the world feels so much warmer when you smile!
Linus: That means it’s economic for me to save up my smiles for the winter.
Snufflefungus: Aw, how sad!
Malex: So guys, what are we doing for this episode?
Linus: You don’t even know yet? You’ve got ‘unprofessional’ written all over your face.
Snufflefungus: I know! We could dance! (Sing-song, while dancing.) A-da-da da-da da da! Ta-da!
Linus: Or maybe we could read about Communist oppression in China.
Snufflefungus: But dancing is more cheerful than Communism and oppression!
Malex: He’s got a point, Linus.
Linus: What? You’re going to turn a cold shoulder to the plight of those less fortunate than you? How uncaring!
Malex: No, we’re just not going to dwell on it on a comedy show!
Linus: Suite yourself, Scrooge.
Snufflefungus: I do like the idea of dancing! It’s– It’s just so cheerful! What do you think, Malex?
Malex: Well, the audience can’t really see you dance, so…
Snufflefungus: (Gasps.) I have an idea! I’ll be right back!
Linus: Malex, this sounds dangerous. You’d better reclaim control of the situation before it’s too late.
Snufflefungus: I’m back!
Malex: Why are you wearing a turban?
Snufflefungus: I’m going to make Snakey dance! See?
Linus: I didn’t know you were a snake charmer.
Malex: Whoa! Snuffy, be careful! That’s– That’s a cobra!
Snufflefungus: Okay, here goes! Watch as Snakey starts dancing!
~~ Snufflefungus begins playing.
Snufflefungus: (Pauses the music.) See? He’s dancing!
Linus: (Screams) Look out!
Malex: Snuffy, stop it! He– He’s not dancing, you’re just swinging him around by the tail!
Linus: I wonder what it’s thinking right now. It’s probably too hateful to utter!
Snufflefungus: (Pauses music again.) But music and movement together equal dancing. We’ve got music and Snakey is moving, so he’s dancing!
Malex: Snufflefungus, I think you may be missing the point. Let me explain.
~~ Snufflefungus stops playing.
Snufflefungus: What do you mean?
Malex: You see Snuffy, the idea behind snake charming – as I understand it – is that the snake is hypnotized by the music, so it begins dancing. You were just swinging it around using telekinesis.
Snufflefungus: Oh, I think I get it! Is this what you mean?
~~ Snufflefungus begins playing extremely cheerful tune.
Linus: That looks better.
Malex: Snuffy, how are you doing that…?
Snakey: Oh my gosh! The– The cheerfulness!
Linus: (Screams.) The snake is talking!
Malex: What on earth…?
Snakey: Why, I feel so happy– The world feels so happy, it hurts! He’s filling me with such cheer, I can’t help but dance! (Laughs awkwardly.) Look at me go!
Linus: What? Snuffy, you’re making the cobra dance by making it happy?
Malex: Snufflefungus, normal snake charmers don’t use telepathy at all!
~~ Snufflefungus stops playing abruptly.
Snufflefungus: (Surprise.) They don’t?
Linus: Look, it’s still dancing!
Snakey: (Choked.) Ah! The happiness! It’s too much! I (Screams) …can’t stop!
Malex: Ah, duck everybody!
Linus: It’s bouncing off the walls! It’s out of control!
Snufflefungus: Gee, I didn’t know this would happen!
Malex: Just– Just open the window! Get it outta here!
Snakey: (Crazed, disappearing out the window.) Whee!
Malex: Well, that’s over with.
Linus: Snuffy, what did you do to it’s mind?
Snufflefungus: I was just hypnotizing it with my impossible cheerfulness, that’s all!
Malex: Snuffy I think you gave it an overdose.
Snufflefungus: Really? I didn’t know you could overdose on cheerfulness!
Malex: Normal snake charmers just use simple tricks here and there to make their performance look convincing. The snake doesn’t really dance or get hypnotized.
Snufflefungus: (Confused.) Oh…
Linus: That’s okay, Snufflefungus. It’s alright to be hopelessly misinformed, as long as you don’t do what you just did.
Malex: Well I guess that’s all we have time for today Ladies and Gentlemen. Thank you all for listening, and we hope you join us again next week for another Malex Minute!
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writers: Peter Markley and Alex Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers
Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley
Illustration: Peter Markley
Release manager: Peter Markley
Recording assistance: Leela
Thanks to everyone for their help and support.