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Malex Minute 126

Snufflefungus has too much money. But how? And why? Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think!

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

I’ve never actually delivered papers myself, although I had a buddy who did. It always fascinated me to see the gigantic stacks of papers on his porch and hear him telling ghastly stories of setting off at horrifyingly early hours to deliver his wares in a timely manner.

However, I never heard of anything like what Snufflefungus is claiming. A county-wide paper route? Finishing in fifteen minutes?! That’s just crazy talk!

Snuffy’s behavior is so funny in this episode. It really says a lot about his character, actually. Snufflefungus is not evasive. Far from it! It’s just that he genuinely believes that you already know what he’s talking about, and evidence to the contrary surprises him.

It doesn’t help that Malex simply can’t stumble upon the ‘right’ question to ask. He seems to have a terrible knack for only asking questions that reveal nothing but further questions. In real life, this would be a severe character flaw. In the Malex Minute, it’s genuinely hilarious.

This episode is a first, in that the premise was thought up by my sister. She even took a stab at a draft or two, which helped out immensely.

We’ve been trying to get ahead on the Malex Minute production schedule for various reasons – primarily for our own sanity and peace of mind – so the help went a long way to almost giving my pathetic, blistering brain a five minute reprieve. Our new production schedule is so aggressive I’ve been forced to pull together a list of future episodes just to keep them all straight. The list includes upcoming episodes produced and planned, and documents what we’re doing for each as well as things like who’s doing what, when it’s getting done, and which holidays each episode happens to land near.

It’s all a bit surreal, in a wearying sort of way.

ttyl!

——Alex Markley

“Water? Ha! Come back when you really know what it’s like to be thirsty!”

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Malex: Hey everybody, and welcome to the Malex Minute!

Linus: (Sarcastically.) Hey everybody, and welcome to the stupid hour! Seriously Malex, I think we’re all tired of that line.

Malex: Linus, I’m not sure that’s appropriate.

Linus: No need to tell me I’m in the wrong. I’m not listening.

Malex: (Sarcastic.) You? Not listening? No!

Snufflefungus: Hey, Malex?

Malex: Yes, Snufflefungus?

Snufflefungus: Do you like piggy?

Malex: Uh, I suppose I do.

Snufflefungus: Linus, do you like my piggy?

Linus: You and your telekinesis! Your creepy mind powers! Stop waving that piggy bank in my face!

Snufflefungus: You’re avoiding the question. Do you like piggy?

Linus: I don’t know, let me see…

Snufflefungus: Here you go!

Linus: Whoa! That sucker’s heavy!

Snufflefungus: Yes, yes, but do you like him?

Linus: Well, it’s a ceramic pig full of money… apparently very full. What’s not to like?

Snufflefungus: So you like him?

Linus: Yes.

Snufflefungus: Good! I like him too. So it’s decided then.

Malex: Uh… What’s decided, exactly?

Snufflefungus: I’m not going to replace piggy. I’ll get ten new ones instead.

Linus: What?

Malex: Snufflefungus, why do you need ten new piggies?

Snufflefungus: Well this piggy’s full!

Malex: Full?

Linus: I’ll vouch for that.

Snufflefungus: I need space to keep all the money I earn.

Malex: I see. Well Snufflefungus, why don’t we start with one new piggy? That should be enough, shouldn’t it?

Snufflefungus: But I measured! I need ten new piggies!

Malex: I recognize this feeling. It’s panic and despair, they’re fighting for dominance in my frail, frail body.

Linus: But Snufflefungus, I con you out of your allowance every week! How do you have any money left at all?!

Snufflefungus: But–

Linus: And more to the point, why aren’t you sharing it with me?!

Malex: As horrifying as that new turn is, I’m more curious to know where you’re getting all this new money, Snuffy.

Snufflefungus: Well from my job, of course! Where else?

Malex: You have a job?!

Linus: When could you possibly find time to do any work? I putter around with you all day, and I know I’d remember if we accidentally ended up doing any work.

Malex: Snufflefungus, I’m– I’m still just trying to wrap my brains around this… How long have you had a job?

Snufflefungus: Almost eleven months!

Malex: (Sarcasm) Great, great. I’m so glad to discover that I am actually aware of everything going on under my own roof.

Linus: Buddy, you don’t know the half of it.

Snufflefungus: But Malex, delivering papers doesn’t happen under your roof!

Malex: Oh, you’re a paperboy? How relieving.

Linus: How mundane!

Snufflefungus: Please, we prefer to be known as ‘Paper Snufflefungi.’ It’s the more politically-correct term.

Malex: Wait a minute, I don’t care what your job title is! Snufflefungus, why didn’t I know about this job of yours?!

Snufflefungus: But I thought you did know! I thought about it a lot, anyway…

Linus: So, paper delivery, huh?

Snufflefungus: Yes! I wake up precisely at four in the morning, get my papers, deliver them to my route, and get back in bed by four fifteen!

Malex: You get your whole route done in fifteen minutes?

Snufflefungus: If I want to get it done right.

Linus: (Extremely excited.) Malex, look in his room! He’s not kidding! It’s money from floor to ceiling!

Malex: Snuffy, delivering papers isn’t that profitable!

Snufflefungus: Yeah, the pay wasn’t so good at first. That was back when I was only doing one route. Then I worked my way up to delivering all of them!

Linus: What?

Malex: All of them?

Snufflefungus: I deliver every paper for the whole county!

Linus: How can you possibly deliver every paper for the whole county?!

Malex: More to the point, how can you possibly deliver every paper for the whole county in fifteen minutes?!

Snufflefungus: I send them with my mind!

Linus: What?!

Snufflefungus: I just say, “Go little papers, fly!” and they go!

Malex: That’s just baffling.

Snufflefungus: (Excited.) Isn’t it?!

Malex: Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, I guess we’re done for today. Please excuse the madness, and come back again next week for the next episode of the Malex Minute!

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Alex Markley and Leela

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio2.97 MB Download Now - 2.97 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration159.13 KB Download Now - 159.13 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

Susie Markley's picture

Yay! First comment!

:P

Yay! My first episode! *Does happy dance*

(Check the credits under Writers.) ;)

Nice signature, (Or whatever you'd call it in this case.) Malex! XD

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Savage Karioke. Find you inner self.

#HowManyLicksDoesItTake to change a lightbulb?

Peter's picture

Mhm

You made some good contributions! Thank you, Leela. :) I look forward to others of yours in the future!

-------

“The Stone the builders rejected has become the Cornerstone. This is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes.” –Psalm 118:22-23

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Mariel 7's picture

Amazing, simply amazing

The sarcasm in this episode was amazing! Between Linus' quips and Malex's shocked/resigned responses I barely know where to start. I think I'll begin with:

Linus: No need to tell me I’m in the wrong. I’m not listening.

Malex: (Sarcastic.) You? Not listening? No!

Genius :-D

Malex: I recognize this feeling. It’s panic and despair, they’re fighting for dominance in my frail, frail body.

This is my favorite line from the whole episode, and probably one of my favorite lines from the Malex Minute in general. The delivery is so funny and terrifying at the same time. Way to go, Malex; you actually made me laugh out loud!!! X-D

Linus: When could you possibly find time to do any work? I putter around with you all day, and I know I’d remember if we accidentally ended up doing any work.

The imagery that conjures up is truly amazing. I love it <3

Linus: (Extremely excited.) Malex, look in his room! He’s not kidding! It’s money from floor to ceiling!

Malex: Snuffy, delivering papers isn’t that profitable!

Snufflefungus: Yeah, the pay wasn’t so good at first. That was back when I was only doing one route. Then I worked my way up to delivering all of them!

Malex: All of them?

As a former paper-person (it really is more policially correct ... but what do we care ;-) ), I found this episode absolutely HILARIOUS!!!! The only way to make any substantial amount of money from a paper route is to do exactly what Snuffy does; do 20 some ... a day!!!!!!!!!!!! X-D

Over all this is one of my favorite episodes, and the best one that you guys have done in a while. Kudos to Leela and Malex for an amazing script. Kudos to Foppy for the awesome sarcasm. And kudos to Quartz for the super-cuteness!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

---------------------

Learn to laugh at yourself, and you shall never cease to be entertained.

~An Irish comedian whose name escapes me~

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

I like Piggy!

Brain blisters, eh? I hate those!

Snuffy is so industrious, and Linus is so mean to mean to him. My favorite lines are the same ones Mariel liked.

Linus: When could you possibly find time to do any work? I putter around with you all day, and I know I’d remember if we accidentally ended up doing any work.

-and-

Malex: I recognize this feeling. It’s panic and despair, they’re fighting for dominance in my frail, frail body.

And of course, I love anything Snuffy does or says. He's just TOO CUTE!!!!

Great work, everyone. I love the illustration. And Leela, keep at it. You seem to have some talent here, try to develop it.

------------------------------

I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Puttering about.

Industrious Snuffy! He's so much like an innocent little child, delivering papers and putting the money in his piggy, only with POWER!

------------------------------

"He speaks of Meow."

"Just feed the cat."

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Peter's picture

*lol*

Well thank you all very, very much for the amazing reception you’ve given this episode! :D I’m so glad you like it!

Well, Leela, looks like you’ve had some great success here! XD

-------

“The Stone the builders rejected has become the Cornerstone. This is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes.” –Psalm 118:22-23

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Susie Markley's picture

Yes! Score! XD

Hehe! Yeah...so it seems, Quartz. So it seems! ;) That makes me happy! XD *Does happy dance again*

I also had several favorite lines from this episode! Some of them were already listed here so I'll only list one! ;)

Linus: "But Snufflefungus, I con you out of your allowance every week! How do you have any money left at all?!"

Snufflefungus: "But–"

Linus: "And more to the point, why aren’t you sharing it with me?!"

Malex: "As horrifying as that new turn is..."

hehe...

And Most of the episode was written by Malex. The only line that I actually wrote were the first four lines:

Malex: "Hey everybody, and welcome to the Malex Minute!"

Linus: (Sarcastically.) "Hey everybody, and welcome to the stupid hour! Seriously Malex, I think we’re all tired of that line."

Malex: "Linus, I’m not sure that’s appropriate."

Linus: "No need to tell me I’m in the wrong. I’m not listening."

...And the tail. XD I hoped you all liked it! ;)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Savage Karioke. Find you inner self.

#HowManyLicksDoesItTake to change a lightbulb?

Alex's picture

Heh

You did come up with the premise for the episode, and it's a very good one. Furthermore, your early drafts did show some promise. You just need to practice more.

Like I always say, you can be anything you want, but not everything you want, and you have to be willing to work to get it.

ttyl

--Alex Markley

“Suddenly, the world was a bit more orange than usual. And the bunny didn't like it.”

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Back from TLC, and what do I hear? AWESOMENESS!!!

Malex: I recognize this feeling. It’s panic and despair, they’re fighting for dominance in my frail, frail body.

Amazing. Simply amazing... Heheheh....

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Long ago, it seems so long ago how young and innocent we were.

She may not remember me, but I remember Her.

A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous.

Mariel 7's picture

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Dragon Returneth ... wait, does that mean Shorty's back too?!?! *flies away to call Shortness about Irish Fest*

---------------------

Learn to laugh at yourself, and you shall never cease to be entertained.

~An Irish comedian whose name escapes me~

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Peter's picture

Hehe

I’m so glad you like it, DragonMan! :D Always a pleasure.

-------

“The Stone the builders rejected has become the Cornerstone. This is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes.” –Psalm 118:22-23

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Susie Markley's picture

YAY!!

Welcome back, Dragon!!! Does this mean that we can carry on with Dragon & Fox Adventures? ;)

And if you are back too...Welcome back, Shorty!!! XD

Glad to have you guys back! XD

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Savage Karioke. Find you inner self.

Dragon Karioke. Don't Ask.

#HowManyLicksDoesItTake to change a lightbulb?

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think that everyone has covered all of the great things about the episode that I really liked!! Kudos to everyone!!

--------------

Gimme my gummi bears!

Graduation is coming, everybody grab your caps and gowns!

Peter's picture

Thank you!

XD

-------

“The Stone the builders rejected has become the Cornerstone. This is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes.” –Psalm 118:22-23

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

I am back

Great episode guys. It was hilarius. Great picture to.

P.S.

Dragon I need to talk to you about abridging.

See you all sooner or later.

..............................

Mike- Hey Bob, you know what I hate?

Bob- What’s that Mike?

Mike- Giant Snakes that pop out of nowhere and kill ya.

Bob- You know, I hate those too.

“Crash.”

Random guard tower guy- Wow, good thing that was the guard tower next to us.

Mike- Hey Bob, you know what I hate?

Bob- What’s that Mike?

Mike- Giant Snakes that pop out of nowhere and kill ya.

Bob- You know, I hate those too.

“Crash.”

Random guard tower guy- Wow, good thing that was the guard tower next to us.

Peter's picture

Thanks!

I’m glad you like it! :D

-------

“The Stone the builders rejected has become the Cornerstone. This is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes.” –Psalm 118:22-23

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

True

you can be anything you want, but not everything you want, and you have to be willing to work to get it.

Well said, Malex! I don't know that I've ever thought of it that way. Oz has made me aware of the truth that one can have anything one wants, but not everything one wants and that choosing means giving some things up. But I never thought of it in terms of one's future before.

------------------------------

I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Peter's picture

Mhmm

It’s good advice. ^_^

-------

“The Stone the builders rejected has become the Cornerstone. This is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes.” –Psalm 118:22-23

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

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