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Malex Minute 121

The feud between Little Red Riding Squirrel and Tall Green Riding Squirrel escalates to dizzying new heights. When will it end?! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think!

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

It’s difficult enough to predict what will happen when Little Red Riding Squirrel is present. When Tall Green Riding Squirrel is added to the mix, the already unstable situation turns positively volatile. So what sort of chaos, do you suppose, will accompany further additions to the group?

I have seen that future, and it has made me less.

As to Linus’s nearly-militant position on clichés, I must admit to feeling the same way. In fact, the argument between Malex and Linus early in this episode is based largely on debates I have with myself on a nearly-regular basis.

If a particular phrase is unoriginal, is it used out of necessity to establish common ground with the audience? Is it used in some peculiar or original way for witty or ironic effect? Or (horror of horrors) is it simply used as a creative shortcut – regurgitated onto the page because I couldn’t think of anything better to write there?

Also of particular relevance, how often do I deceive myself into believing one of the former when the latter is more appropriate?

But you shouldn’t mind me. It’s 1 AM here, and I generally tend to wax philosophical under these conditions.

ttyl!

——Alex Markley

“Why, Hamster? Why?!”

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Linus: (Tattling) Malex, Little Red Riding Squirrel scrawled all manner of menacing threats on the side of our house while we were sleeping again.

Tall Green Riding Squirrel: I’m so sorry! I just can’t imagine why my Little Red Riding Squirrel is threatening to kill us all in our sleep.

Malex: Well, you know, he always did seem a little unhinged to me.

Tall Green Riding Squirrel: I’m just so sorry I got you all into this. I should have just gone with him.

Snufflefungus: Aw, it’s okay Tall Green Riding Squirrel. What are friends for?

Linus: Did he really just say that? That’s it, I’m calling the Cliché Police.

Malex: Do they really exist?

Linus: Not yet. I’ll have to form them first. But then there’ll be a smack down…

Malex: Have fun with that. Anyway, Tall Green Riding Squirrel, we just did the neighborly thing. I’m sure you’d do the same for us.

Linus: Another one! Malex, how could you stoop to such depths?!

Malex: It’s pretty easy when you’re forced to write a new one of these scripts every week.

Linus: That’s no excuse.

Malex: Seriously, though, all I said was “I’m sure you’d do the same for us.” That’s merely a common expression, not a cliché.

Linus: Where you see a common expression, I see a pathetic excuse for communication. A cop-out of the highest order!

Malex: Then where do we draw the line? Clichés are used as creative shortcuts to cue in the audience thoughts and feelings that the writer may not have the skill to convey in an original way. But at the same time, communication of any kind is clearly impossible unless it’s based on the familiar at some level. So how do we tell the difference?

Linus: You worry about drawing lines. I’ll handle the mockery.

Snufflefungus: Why Linus, how formulaic of you.

Linus: (Gasps) I am shame!

Little Red Riding Squirrel: (Calling in from outside.) I know you’re in there, Tall Green Riding Squirrel! I’m going to get in eventually, and when I do you’ll be sorry!

Tall Green Riding Squirrel: What if I’m already sorry? Will you leave me alone?

Little Red Riding Squirrel: No! ‘Sorry’ is a metaphor for setting you on fire, and then jumping up and down on you, and then pouring buckets of water on your face, and then setting you on fire again! (Descends into manic laughter.)

Snufflefungus: Wow, that sounds like a not-fun time. What a strange metaphor.

Linus: (Calling out to Little Red Riding Squirrel.) What about us, Little Red Riding Squirrel?

Little Red Riding Squirrel: I’ll deal with you later!

Tall Green Riding Squirrel: Maybe I should just go out to him and get it over with.

Linus: Please do.

Snufflefungus: That sounds stupid, why would you do something like that?

Tall Green Riding Squirrel: (Voice quavering.) I just think… Maybe it would be best for everyone if I…

Snufflefungus: (Gasps) No! You wouldn’t!

Malex: Snufflefungus, don’t let him get to you. He’s just fishing for sympathy.

Linus: Which seems odd to me, since our lives are being threatened by Little Red Riding Squirrel too. Moreover, it’s our house Little Red Riding Squirrel is trying to set on fire.

Malex: Yeah, seriously. I’m starting to see why Little Red Riding Squirrel is mad at– What?! Fire?!

Snufflefungus: Wow, that’s a big flame-thrower.

Tall Green Riding Squirrel: It’s all my fault!

Malex: You get away from my house with that thing!

Little Red Riding Squirrel: Eat fire!

~~ Little Red Riding Squirrel shoots flame at the house.

Malex: Fiend! Snufflefungus, can you put it out with your mind?

Snufflefungus: No, but I can make it dance around! (Sing-song) Ring around the rosies, a pocket full of posies.

~~ Little Red Riding Squirrel screams while Snufflefungus is singing.

Snufflefungus: (Sing-song) Ashes, ashes. We all fall down!

Malex: But what if Little Red Riding Squirrel didn’t want to dance with the fire?

Snufflefungus: (Disconcerted.) Oh, I didn’t think of that.

Little Red Riding Squirrel: You just wait there! I’ll bring you so much terror, you’ll be sorry!

Snufflefungus: There’s that curious metaphor again…

Tall Green Riding Squirrel: Little Red Riding Squirrel, you better not!

Little Red Riding Squirrel: I will!

Tall Green Riding Squirrel: I’ll call in the rest of us!

Linus: Wait, the ‘rest’ of you? What does that mean–

Little Red Riding Squirrel: You wouldn’t dare!

Tall Green Riding Squirrel: And you know they’ll side with me!

Little Red Riding Squirrel: Never!

Tall Green Riding Squirrel: I’m doing it right now!

Malex: Wait, uh, can we talk about this?

Tall Green Riding Squirrel: The remainder of the nine, I summon thee with my mind!

Snufflefungus: Nine? That’s a lot!

Malex: Uh, are they coming here? I wasn’t consulted–

Sad Orange Riding Squirrel: (Appears) It’s’a me, Sad Orange Riding Squirrel!

Sick Brown Riding Squirrel: (Appears) It’s’a me, Sick Brown Riding Squirrel!

Linus: (Starts screaming.)

Fat Purple Riding Squirrel: (Appears) It’s’a me, Fat Purple Riding Squirrel!

Wet Yellow Riding Squirrel: (Appears) It’s’a me, Wet Yellow Riding Squirrel!

~~ Round Blue Riding Squirrel appears.

Snufflefungus: (Scared.) Uh, Malex?

Malex: Say, what’s this one called?

Tall Green Riding Squirrel: Oh, that’s Round Blue Riding Squirrel. He doesn’t speak.

Ugly Beige Riding Squirrel: (Appears) It’s’a me, Ugly Beige Riding Squirrel!

Scary Grey Riding Squirrel: (Appears) It’s’a me, Scary Grey Riding Squirrel!

Malex: We’re gonna go hide now. Bye!

Little Red Riding Squirrel: You haven’t heard the last from me! I will have my revenge! In fact, I’m going to begin plotting it right now!

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio3.45 MB Download Now - 3.45 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration193.2 KB Download Now - 193.2 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

Mariel 7's picture

YAYS First!

Apparantly JFK and Vox went to bed at a reasonable hour last night. Wierd *shrugs*

Linus: Did he really just say that? That’s it, I’m calling the Cliché Police.

Malex: Do they really exist?

Linus: Not yet. I’ll have to form them first. But then there’ll be a smack down…

I love the idea of a Cliche Police ... Go for it Linus!

Little Red Riding Squirrel: No! “Sorry” is a metaphor for setting you on fire, and then jumping up and down on you, and then pouring buckets of water on your face, and then setting you on fire again!

That's hysterical ... literally. Maybe someone should lend LRRS a paperbag or something

Malex: Yeah, seriously. I’m starting to see why Little Red Riding Squirrel is mad at– What?! Fire?!

Snufflefungus: Wow, that’s a big flame-thrower.

Malex: You get away from my house with that thing!

Little Red Riding Squirrel: Eat fire!

That's amazing ... heh fire

Snufflefungus: No, but I can make it dance around! (Sing-song) Ring around the rosies, a pocket full of posies.

That's so cute ... but kinda creepy ... but mostly cute <3

Linus: Wait, the ‘rest’ of you? What does that mean–

Little Red Riding Squirrel: You wouldn’t dare!

Tall Green Riding Squirrel: I’m doing it right now!

Malex: Wait, uh, can we talk about this?

Tall Green Riding Squirrel: The remainder of the nine, I summon thee with my mind!

Snufflefungus: Nine? That’s a lot!

Malex: Uh, are they coming here? I wasn’t consulted–

That's so ... HORRIFYING X-P

Overall a hysterical, amazing, cute, creepy, horrifying episode. Way to go guys. Keep up the awesomeness.

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Learn to laugh at yourself, and you shall never cease to be entertained.

~An Irish comedian whose name escapes me~

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Peter's picture

Hehehe

Thanks! I’m glad you liked it! XD

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“… But as for me, I trust in [God.]” –Psalm 55:23

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Hysterical, Amazing, Creepy, and Horrifying Episode

I have to agree with Mariel on this one this episode was hysterical, amazing, creepy, and horrifying episode. Good job guys. Loved the picture as well Quartz. Also, I was not first this week because I did not stay up late last night do to the fact I was fall over tired.

..............................

Mike- Hey Bob, you know what I hate?

Bob- What’s that Mike?

Mike- Giant Snakes that pop out of nowhere and kill ya.

Bob- You know, I hate those too.

“Crash.”

Random guard tower guy- Wow, good thing that was the guard tower next to us.

Mike- Hey Bob, you know what I hate?

Bob- What’s that Mike?

Mike- Giant Snakes that pop out of nowhere and kill ya.

Bob- You know, I hate those too.

“Crash.”

Random guard tower guy- Wow, good thing that was the guard tower next to us.

Remainder of the Nine

Tall Green Riding Squirrel: The remainder of the nine, I summon thee with my mind!

That's fabulous! It's so DC Comics, a la Green Lantern or Wonder Woman. I wonder what that sounds like to the remainder of the nine. Are they just sitting in Riding Squirrel Land or something and suddenly hear their names like on the P.A. at Wal-Mart or what?

This is very funny, guys. Who will save our heroes from the horrible riding squirrels? Where is that big bad wolf when you need him?

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Peter's picture

...

SangMing said:

Are they just sitting in Riding Squirrel Land or something and suddenly hear their names like on the P.A. at Wal-Mart or what?

*LOL* :P XD Wow…

I’m very glad you all like it! Thanks for the comments!

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“… But as for me, I trust in [God.]” –Psalm 55:23

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

0_0

Dragon is scared!

*sobs in corner*

Don't let them hurt Dragon! Dragon is a good boy!

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Random Quote

The fishy comes to me upon a stick! What does the Fishy Stick say?

A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous.

Lilly's picture

oh man!

I liked Snuffy making LRRS dance with the fire, it was cute because he didn't realize that it might hurt LRRS. I laughed out loud at the picture! XD

"But what if Little Red Riding Squirrel didn’t want to dance with the fire?" XD lol

All of the other riding squirrels were incredibly creepy and funny!

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I'm waiting for a handsome prince.

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Peter's picture

Hehehe...

Just wait until next week… XD

I’m glad you guys enjoyed it!

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“… But as for me, I trust in [God.]” –Psalm 55:23

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

LOL

I've heard of fire "dancing" before but never like that! LOL Snuffy's so amazing. So powerful and yet so innocent.

The voices of the squirrels! I can't wait until next week so I can I hear more from them! Fat and Ugly are, I think, my favorite voices so far, with the exception of Tall. He's my all-time fav squirrel voice.

*starts humming "Ring Around the Rosie"*

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"He speaks of Meow."

"Just feed the cat."

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Peter's picture

Hehehe

The sound of the fire dancing was all Fopsworth. A stroke of genius I’d say. :D

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“… But as for me, I trust in [God.]” –Psalm 55:23

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Awesome Episode!

The thought of nine more riding squirels is frightening but knowing that they are against LRRS is a little more reassuring. The different voices were incredible , I really enjoyed this episode!

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I have one word for you... *stands on stool with Aisling's cloak... LOOM!!!!!

Graduation is coming, everybody grab your caps and gowns!

Peter's picture

Thank you!

The Royal Shortness said:

The thought of nine more riding squirels is frightening but knowing that they are against LRRS is a little more reassuring.

That’s a point... :)

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“… But as for me, I trust in [God.]” –Psalm 55:23

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Alex's picture

Hmm

But are they really against Little Red Riding Squirrel, or is it more of a free-for-all?

Only time will tell!

--Alex Markley

“Suddenly, the world was a bit more orange than usual. And the bunny didn't like it.”

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

O.O

maybe not so reassuring...now I'm frightened!

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I have one word for you... *stands on stool with Aisling's cloak... LOOM!!!!!

Graduation is coming, everybody grab your caps and gowns!

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