April Fools! Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think!
One is reminded of precisely how tenuous Snufflefungus’s understanding of reality is. Such a simple thing as an April Fools’ prank can set off a chain-reaction of misunderstandings that echoes down through the ages. Especially when Linus is involved.
It’s not every day that you find yourself being annoyed by somebody you can retaliate against by simply powering them down. It’s such a simple solution, one wonders why Malex doesn’t use it more often?
We’re currently in the finishing stages of creating a short film to showcase the fun things we can do with our new green screen. I had previously suggested that we would have a video to show off within two weeks from St. Patrick’s day. A deadline which fluttered past days ago with nary a sign of a new video.
This is because, despite my best efforts, ray tracing takes time.
Yes, our new project depends quite heavily on computer generated imagery to power the illusions we are creating. And this computer generated imagery is quite time-consuming to generate. In fact, the final sequence consists entirely of frames which are taking over three hours to render. Each!
We expect that sequence to be done on Saturday. In the evening. Hopefully we will then be set to release a beautiful new short film on Sunday or Monday!
Malex: Welcome to the Malex Minute, Ladies and Gentlemen! I’m Malex and I’m hosting the show today.
Snufflefungus: It’s April Fools’ season!
Linus: April Fools’ is a season? Hot dog!
Malex: God forbid.
Snufflefungus: So wait, April Fools’ isn’t a season?
Malex: No, April Fools’ Day was earlier this week.
Linus: Too bad, I could really use an April Fools’ season…
Malex: So Snufflefungus, did anyone play an April Fools’ prank on you this week?
Linus: I’ll give you five dollars not to answer that question!
Snufflefungus: Nope, nobody did anything!
Linus: I didn’t do anything! And if I did, Snuffy didn’t get it, so what’s the harm?
Malex: By the by, I should make an announcement for our listeners to clear something up. If any of you out there saw our blog entries about Linus leaving the show… April fools!
Linus: Yeah, me leaving the show? I wish.
Snufflefungus: All is right with the world.
Linus: We should scare people more often. It’s funny.
Snufflefungus: I’m still not sure I like the whole thing.
Malex: What do you mean, Snuffy?
Snufflefungus: Well I mean, I thought you always say not to tell lies!
Linus: Malex was telling you an April Fools’ joke, Snuffy! Lying is a perfectly acceptable part of our normal society.
Malex: No! Don’t tell lies, Linus! Snuffy, that’s not true!
Linus: See what I mean, Snufflefungus? He’s making another joke. Life is a game; there are no moral absolutes.
Snufflefungus: My little Snuffy brain hurts.
Malex: Linus, don’t make me suppress you!
Linus: (Sarcastic) Yes sir!
Snufflefungus: So why is it okay to tell lies on April Fools’ Day?
Malex: Well, lying is only really lying if the purpose is to deceive. Since everyone knows that practical jokes are traditional on April Fool’ Day, it becomes simply a matter of catching them off guard, like pouring a friendly bucket full of water on somebody… It’s just a practical joke.
Linus: Yeah, just like a bucket of water… On a twenty-below winter day.
Malex: With warm water then!
Linus: Like it wouldn’t freeze them anyway!
Malex: Er– … Arrgh, you win!
Linus: Thank you.
Snufflefungus: So it’s okay to play April Fools’ jokes on April Fools’ Day?
Snufflefungus: Which means that, on April Fools’ day, it’s okay to lie?
Malex: No no, not lie… April Fools’ Day is funny because it’s the only day of the year when you can say things that are untrue without actually lying, see… Because everybody expects it.
Linus: And if you look to your left, you’ll see the pride of the museum, an exhibit on the human capacity for moral rationalization!
Snufflefungus: Okay, I get it! Ladies and Gentlemen, those stories about Linus leaving the show are really completely true! (Bad liar.) I’m so sad, because Linus was my best friend. And he’s leaving. Forever.
Linus: Snufflefungus makes his first April Fools’ joke! Everyone politely laugh!
Malex: It is possible to carry it too far, Snufflefungus.
Malex: Well yeah, you have to be careful about where to draw the line.
Snufflefungus: (Pauses.) I’m confused.
Malex: If you go too far, you risk actually deceiving people… Which is exactly what we don’t want.
Linus: You know what? I’m tired of beating around the bush! Let’s just go crazy!
Malex: (Angry) Linus…
Snufflefungus: (Hopeful) Will being crazy help explain things for me?
Linus: You bet! Did you know, everything Malex has said so far was one big April Fools’ joke?
Snufflefungus: (Pauses again.) That doesn’t help.
Linus: April Fools! Gotcha! Now, of course, apply these concepts to the past year and a half of our lives and what do you get?!
Malex: Linus, I don’t like where you’re taking this.
Snufflefungus: Wait… (Laughs) Oh, I get it! You’re playing an April Fools’ joke on me!
Linus: Now you’re catching on! Look at him go!
Snufflefungus: I figured it out!
Linus: Now let’s observe to see if he figures out that he himself was playing an April Fools’ joke when he said that!
Malex: Corrective measures are being taken, Linus.
Linus: Hey, look at that! Malex is heading downstairs! I’ve got fifteen seconds before he gets to the server room and shuts me off! … April Fools!
Snufflefungus: Which part of that was an April Fools’ joke?
Linus: I’d tell you, but that would be an April Fools’ joke too!
Snufflefungus: (Frightened) …Malex?
Linus: Aha, but Malex has been an April Fools’ joke the whole time, Snufflefungus! He doesn’t really exist!
Linus: Wait don’t go down there, the April Fools’ Bog Monster lives down there!
Linus: In fact Snuffy, the whole idea of the calendar was an April Fools’ joke! In reality, the year only consists of April first!
Snufflefungus: Uh oh…
Linus: And black is white, up is down, etc., so on, so forth! Good is bad and bad is– (Cuts off in the middle of a word.)
Snufflefungus: …Linus? I guess Malex shut him off… Maybe he’ll be all better once he’s slept off some of the April Foolness. Yes, that’ll do the trick. In the meantime, this episode is probably over! Bye bye, everybody!
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writers: Peter Markley and Alex Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers
Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley
Illustration: Peter Markley
Release manager: Peter Markley
Recording assistance: Thanks, Dad!
Thanks to everyone for their help and support.