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Malex Minute 106
The Malex Minute
Submitted by Peter on Fri, 03/14/2008 - 12:00am
An ethereal visitor invades Malex’s house and permeates it with sadness. Will our heroes be able to cheer him up? Find out for yourself and let us know what you think!
Malex's Thoughts
I must give my little sister credit for coming up with the central theme of this episode. For weeks now she’s been running around the house making various inanimate objects say, “I’m so sad,” at whoever happened to be paying attention.
This would be especially bad if said inanimate object tended to also float toward you at maddening angles. It would be even worse if the inanimate object which was emoting at you was also a book you were trying to read at the time.
What I’m trying to say is, despite this object’s claims of sadness, we all suspected that it was really just perversely happy to have found somebody new to annoy. And really, no matter who you are, there will always be a line between feeling a particular emotion and terrorizing everyone around you with manipulation-grade doses of it.
As for our new friend? In his case, we can safely assume that the line has not only been crossed, but has completely receded into distant, fading memory.
So, you know, don’t feel too sorry for him or anything…
ttyl!
——Alex Markley
Transcript
~~ Introduction
Malex: Welcome to the Malex Minute, everybody!
Snufflefungus: We’re doing an episode!
Malex: I still can’t get over it that you actually like the new theme song, Linus.
Linus: I didn’t expect you to make a federal case out of it…
Malex: No, but seriously. You never like anything!
Linus: I don’t never like anything!
Snufflefungus: Huh?
Malex: You just have a persona. You’re the perpetually annoyed, irrepressible cuss. Every fashionable show has to have one!
Linus: This is all true, but my persona is too high-maintenance. It’s just difficult to keep up.
Snufflefungus: So drop it! Be happy all the time!
Linus: Like that would be any easier…
Malex: Seriously, try it! Frowning uses several more muscles than smiling.
Linus: I’m a hologram. I don’t have any muscles.
Malex: Well, perhaps smiling takes less energy.
Linus: (Happily) Maybe ignoring you is the most energy-efficient solution of all!
Snufflefungus: Hey guys, did it just get colder in here?
Ghost: I’m so sad…
Linus: Malex, did your bitterness just vomit out of your torso and manifest itself as a disembodied sadness?
Malex: (Sarcastic) Hmm, lemme check. No! It’s still here.
Snufflefungus: Maybe it was the wind!
Ghost: (Sighs.)
Snufflefungus: See?
Ghost: I’m so sad.
Snufflefungus: I take it back. The wind is usually far too happy to say things like that.
Malex: Who are you, voice, and why are you sad?
Ghost: I don’t remember ever having a name.
Snufflefungus: Aw…
Linus: Yes, yes, but why are you sad?
Ghost: Well, for one thing, I don’t remember ever having a name.
Malex: That would do it.
Snufflefungus: Hey guys, maybe we can cheer him up!
Linus: Or maybe we can offer to escort it off the property!
Malex: Linus, please. Maybe we should offer him something.
Snufflefungus: Like…?
Malex: Well, I… Maybe some coffee– Er…
Linus: Malex, it’s a ghost! It’s so out of touch, it can barely find its own feelings! Its voice is thready and ethereal! Drinking coffee is completely out of the question!
Malex: Well there’s no need to get snippy, I’m a little bit out of my depth here.
Ghost: I can hear you, you know… Talking about me like I don’t exist.
Malex: Oh, no! We weren’t–
Ghost: I’m so sad…
Snufflefungus: Can we do something for you? To make you happier?
Ghost: I don’t know, can you?
Snufflefungus: (Confident) Oh, I think so. I don’t want to brag or anything, but I’m something of an expert on happiness.
Ghost: Okay, well, I’m willing to give it a try.
Snufflefungus: Good! The first step in the process is to smile!
Ghost: I haven’t had a mouth since before I died.
Linus: I can see how that could prevent smiling.
Ghost: I’m so sad…
Snufflefungus: No wait! Why don’t we think about something totally different… What about people! Uh… In a room.
Ghost: Okay…?
Snufflefungus: Yes! People, in a room, having fun! What do you think of that?
Ghost: I think I can’t join them.
Linus: Oh for crying out loud! It’s a lost cause!
Malex: Hold on, let me try something. Mr. Ghost person, would you like to listen to some music?
Ghost: I don’t know, will it make me sad?
Malex: No, of course not! It’s very upbeat and interesting to listen to! Here, see what you think of this…
~~ Starts playing the Malex Minute Theme.
Ghost: It reminds me of the time I died.
Malex: What?!
Ghost: I’m so sad…
Malex: That’s it, nobody insults my music and gets away with it! Get out out of my house.
Ghost: Rejection makes me sad…
Linus: What in the wide world doesn’t?!
Snufflefungus: This whole exchange has taught me a lot about negativity.
Linus: (Excited) It has?!
Snufflefungus: No wait! I don’t think it has.
Malex: Well everybody, I guess that’s all we have time for today. Thanks for listening, and we hope you’ll join us again next week for another great Malex Minute!
~~ End
Credits
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writer: Alex Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers, with a guest appearance by Leela as the Ghost!
Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley
Illustration: Peter Markley
Release manager: Peter Markley
Recording assistance: Leela
Thanks to everyone for their help and support. 
Media Downloads
| Name | Size | Action |
|---|---|---|
| Episode Audio | 2.88 MB |   |
| Episode Illustration | 145.86 KB |  |
| | | | |
Comments
Yay!
~~ Starts playing the Malex Minute Theme.
Ghost: It reminds me of the time I died.
Malex: What?!
That part is so funny
This episode is one of my favorites... Great job... its really funny all over. ^^
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
:-D
"This episode is one of my favorites... Great job... its really funny all over." --Vox
Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it.
I see you managed to reserve first post again this week. 
It was pretty funny... I was puttering about, and it wasn't until about 12:45 that I suddenly realized the Malex Minute was late. Then when I saw your first post, I got this image of you hitting refresh every five minutes for three-quarters of an hour, while I'm completely thinking about other stuff.
Heh, oh well.
ttyl
--Alex Markley
"Crap, I have levitation class at 25:131. Better set the alarm to 'cinnamon'."
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
...
I really liked this minute, and I can honestly say that I can relate to the Ghost in being so sad, except for the fact that I know the reason that I am sad and it is because of OGT's!!!!!
But I am also very happy because the play is finaly going to happen. In my words as of last week,"the show must go on!!!" But I think I might need some prayer because I haven't had a free week since winter break!!!!!! 
Sorry I have a lot on my mind, but a really enjoyed it!! 
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When in the middle of a group hug, my shoulder was almost dislocated from being in the middle!!!
Graduation is coming, everybody grab your caps and gowns!
Poor ghostie
This episode is very funny, but a bit...you know...sad.
I love Malex's thoughts.
There will always be a line between feeling a particular emotion and terrorizing everyone around you with manipulation-grade doses of it. This is so insightful and true that it's hysterical.
~~ Starts playing the Malex Minute Theme.
Ghost: It reminds me of the time I died.
Malex: What?!
Uh-oh. I think have a theory as to the origin of the ghost.
Malex:
I watched as the ambulance sped away into the cold, black night. In my attempts to prove myself a worthy DJ, I had apparently done something so musically horrible, so viscerally disturbing, that it had thrust several of the people present into seizures.
Perhaps the ghost was at this event. (For more about the circumstances surrounding this tragedy, go here.
Actually, the ghost reminds me of the "ghost" that was visible in the movie "Three Men & A Baby." Check that story out here.
Leela, great job as the ghost! Too great, in fact. You nearly brought me to tears.
Great job, everyone. Very funny, as always.
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Praying
I'll pray for you, Shorty. Do you really need a whole week of freedom? Hang on, spring break is coming.
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Hehehe
This episode kinda reminds me of Malex Minute 033.
I’m so glad you all liked it!
The ghost was a little saddening to listen to, but keep in mind it probably wasn’t really sad if it was just trying to annoy everybody! 
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“... But as for me, I trust in [God.]” -Psalm 55:23
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
Hehhe
I got this image of you hitting refresh every five minutes for three-quarters of an hour ~Malex
Pretty much... hehe... but i was bored... and had nothing else to do >_>...
Also... the OGT's were very easy imho, all the practice tests were on the website...
We tooks them last week. XP
oh and...
NOW IM FINALLY ON SPRING BREAK! W00T!
no more going back until March 31st!!!!
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I love this one!
Snufflefungus: Yes! People, in a room, having fun! What do you think of that?
Ghost: I think I can’t join them.
This is my favorite line. I'm so glad you guys used this idea.
Afterall, it was quite annoying to be trying to read while my book was talking to me. I managed to get through it however and now the book is safely hidden somewhere in the house.
BTB, Quartz, I love the illustration. The angle is masterful and I really enjoy the way the greyness looks like it's seeping around the walls. Excellent job!
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Waddya hear? Waddya say?
Everything looks perfect from far away.
Hehehe
Oh, thank you Aisling!
I’m so glad you like it.
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“... But as for me, I trust in [God.]” -Psalm 55:23
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was great. I always look forward to this every thursday. Keep up the good work. See you next week with more maddness and fun. Keep going out of the box and burning it as you leave.
..............................
Orochimaru: Hello Hokage.
Hokage: Oh, hey Orochimaru.
Orochimaru: What? No I'm the Kazekage.
Hokage: Sure you are.
Mike- Hey Bob, you know what I hate?
Bob- What’s that Mike?
Mike- Giant Snakes that pop out of nowhere and kill ya.
Bob- You know, I hate those too.
“Crash.”
Random guard tower guy- Wow, good thing that was the guard tower next to us.
Hehehe
Why. thank you Real JFK!
I’m very glad you liked it.
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“... But as for me, I trust in [God.]” -Psalm 55:23
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
But...
I thought spring break was next week.
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
*shakes head*
Nopes, it started last friday for me...
Well... Saturday for the rest of the school, but Friday... eh.. i wasnt looking forward to it much.... *cough*
It was Senior day... lets just say i dont like the seniors all too much..
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Umm...
I always look forward to this every thursday.
Thursday? Is someone staying up all night? I mean, besides Vox?
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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Hehe
But i still get first post... XP
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Hehehe
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“... But as for me, I trust in [God.]” -Psalm 55:23
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
Me too!
lol, I look forward to the MM on Thursdays, as well. My normal bedtime is about 1-2a.m., so I often catch the Malex Minute on "Thursday night" (really, the wee hours of Friday morning) before I konk out.
By the by, this episode was great, guys. lol, I can totally relate to the Malex Bros experience with the ghost! No, no, not that I've SEEN a ghost, but I have been in several positions where someone is constantly attempting (and often succeeding) to draw attention to their emotional or physical discomfort. It gets really annoying after a very brief period of time. Although, I am ashamed to admit, that I know for a fact that I have been guilty of doing the same thing before to other people. How selfish I am! *slaps self...experiences stinging sensation*
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
- Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
- Proverbs 3:5-6
Hehehe
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“... But as for me, I trust in [God.]” -Psalm 55:23
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
haha
Yes, dark and mysterious
j/k
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
- Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
- Proverbs 3:5-6