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Malex Minute 102

Linus ticks somebody off. Also, an old acquaintance shows up. (So yeah, nothing new.) Give it a listen and let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

After last episode’s blatant weirdness, we felt it would be necessary to return to a modicum of normalcy. As you can clearly see, we failed.*

However, I still hold out hope that you will find this episode hilarious, as we have.

As a point of interest, the rich bed of sound effects I produced for this episode were quite a joy to craft. The process consisted of barely more than bellowing into a microphone and hitting myself as loudly as I could for about a quarter of an hour. (Two tasks for which I am especially suited.)

You may sense a connection between our fictional “Super Alley Fighter” and some fondly-remembered fighting game from your own childhood. This connection is not to be discounted out of turn. We are, in fact, making fun of that very game, if not your childhood as a whole.

But I digress.

The very idea of defeating one’s opponent (which will henceforth be referred to as a ‘K.O.’ for the sake of simplicity) within the first half of the first second of such a match is quite ludicrous to me. Which is probably the reason for its inclusion.

Perhaps even more ludicrous is the fact that some people take these games seriously, but this is an entirely different subject.

By the by, do not forget about the party, which is still scheduled for Saturday, March 1st.

ttyl!

——Alex Markley

“Why do I feel like I’m forgetting something?”

* - But not in the way you might expect.

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Malex: Hey everybody! Wanna guess why I’m happy?

Linus: Your doctor prescribed the wrong dosage again?

Snufflefungus: The world’s gonna be repainted with happy colors?

Malex: Well–

Linus: You just remembered that you forgot that yesterday was Valentine’s Day, but then you realized it doesn’t matter because you don’t have a valentine and you never will?

Snufflefungus: You had a piece of tasty candy? Er– Linus, why would that make him happy?

Malex: It wouldn’t.

Linus: Sure it would. He’s a freak! Just look at him!

Snufflefungus: I don’t think I want to participate in this guessing if you’re going to turn it into an opportunity to insult Malex.

Malex: Thank you, Snufflefungus.

Linus: Killjoy.

Snufflefungus: So why are you happy, Malex?

Malex: The writers strike is finally over! (The writer’s strike was previously covered in Malex Minute 088. ——Alex)

Linus: Is it really?

Snufflefungus: Strike? What?

Malex: This one really didn’t last very long, all things considered. They only struck for about one hundred days.

Snufflefungus: Who was striking who?

Linus: The writers of all your favorite television shows were striking anyone they could get their hands on. It was a bloodbath.

Snufflefungus: (Gasps.) Oh no!

Malex: Snufflefungus, Linus is lying again. Remember that talk we had? About Linus lying?

Snufflefungus: Yeah, but I forget everything you said.

Linus: I offered him three cookies in exchange.

Malex: Why do I even try?

Jimmy Jimson: Aha! There you are, demon machine!

Linus: Do I know you?

Jimmy Jimson: Maybe not! But I know you! And so do my fists!

Malex: Little boy, how did you get into this house?

Jimmy Jimson: I sneaked in when you weren’t looking!

Snufflefungus: But that was hours ago!

Linus: Guys, I’m gonna–

Jimmy Jimson: I’ve been hiding in your chest freezer!

Malex: That’s bizarre and creepy.

Jimmy Jimson: No, you wanna know what’s bizarre and creepy? You’ve got some big men with clubs frozen in that freezer of yours. That is creepy.

Malex: Oh, well those guys have been trying to kill me for years so it’s all okay. (From all the way back in Malex Minute 015. ——Alex)

Snufflefungus: You didn’t have to hide next to them…

Jimmy Jimson: Oh yes. Yes I did.

Linus: I’m leaving now. Bye!

Jimmy Jimson: Not so fast, mister! I ain’t done with you!

Malex: Hey, kid, do I know you?

Jimmy Jimson: I doubt it. Why?

Malex: Well you just look familiar.

Jimmy Jimson: Oh yeah, you’re that guy with that creepy warehouse! You still owe me a hundred bucks! (A reference to TUAoMaI 1x50 ——Alex Again)

Malex: No, James, I don’t owe you any money. That’s Icepunk you’re thinking of.

Jimmy Jimson: It’s not James, it’s Jimmy! Jimmy Jimson!

Malex: Sorry, Jimmy. Let me introduce you to Snufflefungus, he’s one of my new friends!

Snufflefungus: Pleased to meet you, Jimmy Jimson!

Jimmy Jimson: The pleasure’s all mine. Did you just shake my hand with your mind?

Snufflefungus: Yes!

Malex: And you seem to remember my friend Linus, although he was in the form of a laptop last I remember you seeing him.

Linus: No I wasn’t! I’m not… That is, I’m… I was a pygmy hippopotamus until about three weeks ago.

Jimmy Jimson: Liar.

Malex: So, Jimmy, what business do you have with Linus here?

Jimmy Jimson: This cheater stole the Super Alley Fighter championship from me!

Linus: I never!

Malex: What are you talking about?

Jimmy Jimson: It’s an annual illegal underground Super Alley Fighter tournament. People travel from all over the world to play, watch, and bet on the outcome!

Snufflefungus: Linus, you play Super Alley Fighter?

Malex: For the SNES?

Linus: Er, well–

Jimmy Jimson: Oh, he plays. He’s been setting his career up for this moment for years – strategically losing just enough to swing the gambling odds out of his favor. Then he bet all his money on himself and slaughtered me!

~~ Begin Tournament Flashback

Announcer: And now, the final round, Linus Smith vs. Jimmy Jimson!

Game: Fight!

~~ Heavy fighting & button mashing.

Game: K.O.! K– K– K.O.! K.O.!

Announcer: And Linus wins!

Jimmy Jimson: What? No fair!

Linus: You snooze you lose, butter face! (Chortles maddeningly.)

~~ End Tournament Flashback

Jimmy Jimson: Those creepy computer hands of his can hit buttons about a million times faster than any human.

Malex: Linus, you’re good at Super Alley Fighter?

Snufflefungus: For the SNES?

Linus: Er, well–

Jimmy Jimson: He’s a cheater!

Linus: No, I’m amazing!

Jimmy Jimson: You’re a cheater!

Linus: What are you gonna do about it?

Jimmy Jimson: I’m gonna beat you into a stinking pulp!

Linus: You’re four feet tall!

Jimmy Jimson: (Battle Cry)

Linus: (Terror Cry)

Malex: Well everybody, I guess that’s all we have time for. Thanks for listening, and we hope you’ll join us again next week on the Malex Minute!

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Alex Markley and Peter Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers, with a guest appearance by Aisling as Jimmy Jimson.

Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley

Sound Design: Alex Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

NameSizeAction
Episode Audio2.87 MB Download Now - 2.87 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration177.6 KB Download Now - 177.6 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

^_^

This episode was really great too... I liked the flashback part... That made me laugh ^_^.

Also, it took the entire length of this episode to shut my Windows-craptop down....

Don't ask why I was using windows... it was graphics design... *cough*

Anyways, this was really a great episode and I must keep my first-postness!

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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Genius

Between the flashback and Linus' line, "The writers of all your favorite television shows were striking anyone they could get their hands on. It was a bloodbath", there really is nothing else to say but that you guys are pure genius.

------------------------------

Waddya hear? Waddya say?

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Great job!!

Wow! This is really funny!

The tail conjures up a mental picture of a ship traveling away from earth to the nearest galaxy. It takes generations, so people are living normal lives - marrying, having kids, aging & dying - aboard ship on the journey. An old man sits by the window of the "rest home" area and a none-too-compassionate orderly is nearby...

Malex's thoughts are just about as funny as the episode! Aisling did a bang up job as J.J. And those sound effects are hilarious! Overall, this episode is delightful!

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Lilly's picture

Oh wow!

I spent half of the episode trying to figure out why Jimmy Jimson sounded so familiar :-P

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His intended message is, “Scream, and the world screams with you. Laugh, and your face will burst in flames.”

Linus: Why Malex, you're making more sense than usual today!

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

lol, Lilly, that's just sad.

lol, Lilly, that's just sad. *shakes head at Lilly* Tsk, tsk.

Wow, I was so relieved to hear that the writer's strike is finally over! I have gotten so bored watching the same reruns over and over. That is such great news!

Yeah, Ais, I really like the "bloodbath" part, too. (Oh, does that sound morbid?? :P) That is a funny play on the meaning of the word "strike," lol.

Very interesting interpretation of the tail, Mrs. Oz. I was completely confused by it until I read your post. Thanks for providing a setting ;)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

- Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

- Proverbs 3:5-6

Peter's picture

Yay!

Thank you everyone for your encouraging comments! :) It's such a pleasure each week!

Vox said:

Anyways, this was really a great episode and I must keep my first-postness!

*lol* XD

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Gaussian Blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Peter's picture

Wow

SangMing said:

The tail conjures up a mental picture of a ship traveling away from earth to the nearest galaxy.

That's weird... :D

-------

Gaussian Blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Mariel 7's picture

Um

I just noticed something ... AISLING VOICED JIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X-| ow - I hurt

What's the SNES?

Guys that was incredible - M likes it ^^ (she's sitting right next to me)

The ending was ... weird ... Good Job!

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Moo.

... what you expected something deep and intellectual? What universe are you from?!

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

SNES

SNES= Super Nintendo Entertainment System

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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Ais/Jimmy

Yes, yes I did. And it was fun.

------------------------------

Waddya hear? Waddya say?

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Peter's picture

Reference

Vox said:

SNES= Super Nintendo Entertainment System

:)

Mariel 7 said:

Guys that was incredible - M likes it ^^ (she's sitting right next to me) ... Good Job!

Oh, thank you! XD I'm glad!

-------

Gaussian Blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Mariel 7's picture

*weeping*

*curls up in the corner sobbing* It sounded like Monkey Plushie/Leela (sorry Leela :-P )

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Moo.

... what you expected something deep and intellectual? What universe are you from?!

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Lilly's picture

ya know

Whats really funny is looking at the picture and putting it with Aisling's voice X-|

-----------------------------

His intended message is, “Scream, and the world screams with you. Laugh, and your face will burst in flames.”

Linus: Why Malex, you're making more sense than usual today!

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.

Perhaps a bit of both.

------------------------------

Waddya hear? Waddya say?

Everything looks perfect from far away.

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