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Malex Minute 096

Snufflefungus wants a pet! Or does he? Give it a listen and let us know what you think!

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

As you may know, I took a trip to Missouri last week, and returned from it in shambles. Missouri, that is, not the week itself. Although one could make a convincing case for me having left the entire year of 2007 in shambles.

That is to say that I emerged from 2007 in shambles. Not that I emerged and somehow 2007 was in shambles.

I rather think that would have made the evening news at some point.

But I digress. On my trip home from Missouri, I became quite ill. So ill, in fact, that I dropped the ball on this week’s Malex Minute episode entirely.

I came to my brothers and – with the sickly, gasping wheeze of the deathly ill – begged them to come up with something. I could not focus long enough to write, and my voice was too much in tatters to perform a recognizable voice, so I asked them to take over for me.

And sure enough, Quartz stepped up to the plate! While I did come up with a vague outline for the sequence of events, Quartz himself championed the writing of the actual script. It was amazing.

And, thankfully, the lines I had to perform as Malex were few and mercifully short. (I also did the ‘Employee,’ but thankfully his voice didn’t need to be recognizable.)

But at this point, this spot is approaching a terminal level of boring. Have a happy new year everybody!

God Bless; ttyl.

——Alex Markley

“The brain is a terrible thing to waste.”

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Snufflefungus: So, what did you say we were out here to do again?

Linus: We’re doing a kindness for these people.

Snufflefungus: Then why are we doing it at night, when nobody is looking?

Linus: People are too thoughtful nowadays; they wouldn’t allow us if they knew anything about it.

Snufflefungus: Really?

Linus: Yep! Don’t you think nice guys like that deserve a little surprise touch-up now and then?

Snufflefungus: You know, you’re right! We should do something nice for them in return!

Linus: Well that’s what we’re doing. Look, there’s an unattended car now.

Snufflefungus: Hmm…

Linus: What’s wrong?

Snufflefungus: I dunno Linus, something seems wrong about this… It looks fine the way it is.

Linus: I know, but we wanna make it better for them!

Snufflefungus: But what if they don’t want their tires better?

Linus: Oh, nonsense. They’ll be delighted!

Snufflefungus: I still think it would be better to ask them first. It seems like this would be pretty permanent.

Linus: Fine, let’s do the next car.

Snufflefungus: But what if tire-sharpening is something people want done by professionals?

Linus: Why haven’t they yet?

Snufflefungus: I dunno… Maybe they couldn’t afford it?

Linus: Exactly! Which means they’ll be all the more thankful if we do it for them.

Snufflefungus: Hmm… How exactly do you go about tire-sharpening again?

Linus: Well just like this, see… You take the knife and deftly insert it into the side of the rubber on the tire. Then you move it along the rubber, lengthening the incision.

Snufflefungus: Gee Linus, it sounds like an awfully big change to make without the owner being involved in the decision…

Linus: Oh fine! We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to…

Snufflefungus: I’m glad you decided not to do it without their permission. But we can still ask them tomorrow!

Linus: No no, you’re right. Let’s just keep quiet about our tire-sharpening.

Snufflefungus: Where are we going now?

Linus: Just follow me, little Snufflefungus.

Snufflefungus: We’re going to the pet store?

Linus: Yes.

Snufflefungus: Why are we going into the pet store?

Linus: I thought you were interested in pets.

Snufflefungus: I was, but Malex said I shouldn’t think about pets or even look at them!

Linus: No, Malex said you couldn’t buy a pet. Ever since you heard about them on the television, you’ve been going on about them too much. He just doesn’t want you to have any fun.

Snufflefungus: Oh I dunno about that

Linus: Anyway, it couldn’t hurt to just look.

Snufflefungus: Are– Are you sure about that?

Linus: Of course! Come on.

~~ They enter the pet store.

Snufflefungus: Aw, look at the little pets! I want one, I want one!

Linus: Let’s look at each one, and you can pick which one you like best! Look, there’s a snake.

Snufflefungus: Ooh, a snake? What’s a snake? I wanna see the snake.

Linus: It’s here, in this cage.

Snufflefungus: Um… I don’t see anything in that cage. Is that cage empty?

Linus: Nah, he’s just hiding. Here, lemme grab him for you.

Snufflefungus: (Yelps) I don’t want the snake! Put Mr. Snake away. I don’t like Mr. Snake!

Linus: Okay. Next we have these fishies!

Snufflefungus: Ooh, fishies! I’ve always heard about fishies. Where are they?

Linus: Here in this aquarium.

Snufflefungus: You mean all those squirmy little things floating in that water?

Linus: Yes Snuffy, those are the fishies.

Snufflefungus: Blah… I guess I don’t like fishies very much after all. They’re too squirmy.

Linus: Well, what do you wanna look at next?

Snufflefungus: Ooh! Hamsters! (Happy) I like the hamsters! They’re all fuzzy like me!

Linus: I like them too. In soup.

Snufflefungus: Linus, that’s horrible.

Linus: Meh.

Snufflefungus: Aw, look at the little guy! He’s so cute, burrowing into the bedding and making a nest!

Employee: Hey, you!

Linus: My, you look… Ahem. Yes?

Employee: Did you let that ferret out?

Linus: What? Me?

Employee: Never mind, move aside!

Snufflefungus: (Yelps)

Linus: Um, what are you doing? He’s not a ferret.

Employee: What are you talking about? He must be! Just look at him! Now you little ferret, that’s awful naughty of you escaping like that.

Snufflefungus: What are you doing with me? I didn’t escape! I’m a customer!

Linus: Do you even have ferrets here? Do you know what they look like?

Employee: No, but this must be a ferret! He must’ve escaped from this cage here.

Snufflefungus: I’m the Snufflefungus!

Linus: But that’s the hamster cage! He hardly fits!

Employee: Are you shopping here, or telling me how to do my job?

Snufflefungus: Let me out! Linus, Malex! Help!

Linus: Snufflefungus isn’t yours!

Employee: Now that’s a good little customer, keep your mouth shut and spend some money.

Snufflefungus: I don’t wanna be locked in here!

Linus: Hey, come back here! Let him out of this cage!

Snufflefungus: Linus, I’m scared! I’m not supposed to be in here with the hamsters!

Linus: Um… Crikey.

Snufflefungus: Linus, what are we gonna do? Where are you going? Linus?

Linus: Okay, Mr. Pet Shop Employee. How much do you want for that… ‘ferret?’

Employee: How about a hundred bucks?

Linus: Fifty!

Employee: Get lost! Well, in fact, fifty dollars might not be so bad after all…

Linus: There. Take it. Now let me have the ferret back.

Employee: Gladly…

~~ Scene change.

Malex: So where were you guys all day? Leaving me home sick…

Linus: Oh, we were around.

Snufflefungus: I was for sale in a pet store–

Linus: What he means to say is… nothing happened at all.

Malex: Um… Okay, if you’re sure.

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Peter Markley and Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

NameSizeAction
Episode Audio3.67 MB Download Now - 3.67 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration152.86 KB Download Now - 152.86 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

Well done, boys, well done.

This is an excellent episode. I don't even know where to begin. Poor Snuffy! He's probably been traumatized.

I hope Linus has learned a valuable lesson now that his little escapades cost him some cash.

I don't blame Snuffy for not liking Mr. Snake. They don't have anything in common at all.

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A wise man once said, "A joke untold is one not laughed at."

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Peter's picture

Why,

Thank you! XD I'm glad you enjoyed it!

By the way, the lack of an illustration is acknowledged. I'm actually about to start working on one. It was just kinda late last night, and Malex just said, “Do the illustration tomorrow.”

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Gaussian Blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Peter's picture

There!

The illustration is done! Enjoy! XD

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Gaussian Blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

*shrieks, faints and dies*

THOSE HAMSTERS ARE SO CUTE!!!! I love the little one to the far right who is washing his face. "The fuzzy kind" I love it!

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A wise man once said, "A joke untold is one not laughed at."

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Peter's picture

*lol*

I'm so glad you like them! XD

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Gaussian Blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Great work!

This is going to be one of my favorite episodes of all time, I'm sure. I love the odd disconnections of logic used by Linus in convincing Snuffy about the tire sharpening.

The picture of Snuffy in the cage with the hamsters is SO CUTE!

Foppy's delivery of Linus' lines is so callous and mean. How can he be so hateful as to slash tires for fun, and so loyal as to buy Snuffy back at the same time?

My favorite part is the tail. Snuffy's reaction to Malex's suggestion that they go to the pet store is just priceless!

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Peter's picture

Gold

Thank you, SangMing! XD

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Gaussian Blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Wondering the same thing myself.

How can he be so hateful as to slash tires for fun, and so loyal as to buy Snuffy back at the same time?

I thought the same thing I just couldn't think to put it into words. Of course, it might have just been that he didn't want to get in trouble with Malex for loosing Snuffy...

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A wise man once said, "A joke untold is one not laughed at."

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Apologies in advance

he didn't want to get in trouble with Malex for loosing Snuffy...

But he did loose Snuffy. It cost him $50 bucks, but Malex would have commended him for it, if he had known. X-D

Sorry. I usually let spelling errors and typos pass, but the mix-up between "loose" and "lose" here was just too tempting for me. ;-)

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

=D

:-D I think that Linus did it ,not just because he didn't want to get in trouble, but because he really cares for Snuffy! ;-)

Graduation is coming, everybody grab your caps and gowns!

Lilly's picture

The fuzzy kind

Good thing Linus bought him back, or i would have :-*

Linus deserved to have to cough up 50 bucks that day, first for trying to convince poor innocent little Snuffy to slash someones tires, and then disobeying MAlex by telling Snuffy he could get a pet!

I loved Snuffys reaction to the snake, i feel the same way. And the tail was so funny!! X-D

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There is a heartbeat at 18 days,

And a soul from conception,

its a baby, not an it.

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Peter's picture

Ah, thank you!

This feedback is really gold to us; it really is! :D

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Gaussian Blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Go Quartz!

Wow, Quartz, I really admire the way that you were able to use some sort of special form of shading to show light reflection from the glass cage that poor snuffy it strapped in. I am impressed :)

Sometimes I think Linus and Satan are somehow related. There has been correspondence between the two of them in the past, hasn't there? I believe I recall something about that...was it the portal of sheepy doom?? Anyway, Linus' method of persuading Snuffy to go to the pet store has obvious parrellels to the story of the fall...clever writing, Quartz!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

- Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

- Proverbs 3:5-6

Peter's picture

Oh

Why, thank you very much, Noble Wisdom! XD Thank you!

Yes, in addition to Linus being infected with a virus named Mr. Eyebrows that later turned out to be Satan, Linus has been known to separately claim to be Satan.

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Gaussian Blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

You are quite welcome

:-D :-D You are quite welcome :-D :-D

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

- Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

- Proverbs 3:5-6

Perceptive

Sometimes I think Linus and Satan are somehow related. There has been correspondence between the two of them in the past, hasn't there?

How clever of you, NW. It's important to be able to recognize Satan & his works wherever we encounter them!

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

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