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Malex Minute 090

Ah, Thanksgiving! A day for us to be thankful for our blessings and to share our abundance with others. Snufflefungus takes this to heart, and the results are… interesting. Give it a listen and let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

Thanksgiving 2007, predictably, came and went. Though it may be gone, it will always live on in our hearts and in our memories, but primarily as leftover, cold, turkey sandwiches that nobody wants.

It will also be remembered as the Thanksgiving that Snufflefungus invited a friend to dinner.

This incident has clearly left an indelible mark on Linus’s soul. His so-called ‘Sobbing Corner’ may well need to be expanded into a ‘Sobbing Room’ and, given time, into an entire franchise of quickie ‘Sobbing Booths’ scattered across the nations of the Earth like a pox.

Or perhaps I’m reading too much into this. (I didn’t get much in the way of sleep this week, so my perception of reality is a tad more skewed than normal.)

In either case, we all hope you had a great Thanksgiving! And enjoy your Black Friday too. Try not to get very trampled.

ttyl

——Alex Markley

“Holy galloping mice, Batman!”

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Narrating Snufflefungus: It seemed like any other day at first… I was going shopping for Thanksgiving presents, and I thought everything was normal. Little did I know, my life would never be the same. Because, that was the day… I met Death face to face.

Death: Hello there! Have you seen this fellow, in the picture?

Snufflefungus: Why do you ask?

Death: Well, I don’t think I have to tell you who I am…

Snufflefungus: Well, not if you don’t want to.

Death: Wait, does that mean you don’t know who I am?

Snufflefungus: Not really…

Death: Oh. Well I’m Death, the physical manifestation of the single most feared thing in all creation.

Snufflefungus: Oh, okay. So… why are you looking for that guy?

Death: I… Uh… He left this scythe at my house when he was visiting. I want to give it back.

Snufflefungus: Oh, that’s very nice! No.

Death: “No,” what?

Snufflefungus: “No,” I have not seen him. Shouldn’t you already have his address though? I mean, if you’re friends?

Death: Well, I did have the file all ready to go, but I must have misplaced it somewhere. You know how these things go.

Snufflefungus: Yeah, yeah. It’s a hard world out there.

Death: … Sure it is. Well, I guess I’ll be off.

Narrating Snufflefungus: And that’s when I made my first mistake.

Snufflefungus: Hey, do you want to come to Thanksgiving dinner at my house?

Narrating Snufflefungus: What could I do? He seemed so… gaunt, like he needed food real bad. How could I know what was in store?

Death: (Shocked.) Oh my, are you serious? Me?

Snufflefungus: Sure! There’s going to be plenty of food! I mean, unless you already have plans…

Death: Nobody has ever shown me that sort of kindness. Of course I accept your offer, dear creature. I would greatly enjoy having Thanksgiving dinner with you at your house.

~~ Scene change.

Malex: Well, that’s it, the turkey is in the oven.

Linus: (Excited.) When can we eat it?!

Malex: If you’re you, never.

Linus: Fine, carbon-face. You have your traditions, see if I care! I have my sarcasm, and that’s all I need!

~~ Phone rings.

Malex: I’ll get it.

Linus: I’m not going to eavesdrop at all.

Malex: Hello?

Death: Greetings, this is Death. I seem to have misplaced your address from my file. Would you mind giving it to me?

Linus: (Gasps animatedly.) Hang it up! Hang it up!

Malex: We’re not interested. Please put your number… our number… on your “Do Not Call” list.

Death: I’m sorry, I do hope I don’t have the wrong number, but a young fuzzy creature invited me to come over and have thanksgiving dinner at your house today. I hope that’s not a problem.

Linus: (Screams into the phone.) Of course it’s a problem, sicko! Go take somebody else! (Hangs up the phone.)

Malex: I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t tear the phone from my grasp in the middle of a conversation.

Linus: Even when it’s a conversation with Death?!

Malex: You don’t really think that was–

Linus: Barricade the doors! Board up the windows!

Malex: Actually, come to think of it, that was a little creepy. Where is Snufflefungus, anyway?

~~ Scene change.

Snufflefungus: There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!

Death: Why, young creature! I feared your invitation had been rescinded when I called. I spoke to a very rude young man who screamed in my ear and hung up the phone.

Snufflefungus: Oh, he’s just like that. I remembered that you didn’t know how to get to our house, so I thought I’d come and bring you myself!

Death: That’s very thoughtful. I do appreciate your gesture.

Snufflefungus: What is this place, anyway? Why is that man sleeping on the floor?

Death: He’s most comfortable that way. Let’s leave him alone.

Snufflefungus: Say, weren’t you going to return that scythe to your friend?

Death: He said I could keep it.

Snufflefungus: How nice! Shall we go?

~~ Scene change.

Malex: Well, that’s it for the doors and windows. I don’t think he can get in now…

Linus: But how is Snufflefungus going to get in?

Malex: Oh, well you know his mad scientist lab in the basement? There are like three secret entrances to that lab around the property. If he shows up, he can get in.

Linus: Oh, okay.

Snufflefungus: Hi guys! I brought a new friend with me!

Linus: (Screams.)

Malex: Was that you on the phone?

Death: Yeah. Sorry, I guess I must have been pretty off-putting the way I presented myself over the phone.

Malex: Oh, that’s okay. So, should I… you know… shake your hand? Or…

Death: You’d better not.

Malex: Oh, okay.

Snufflefungus: So is it dinner time yet? I’m starved!

Malex: Sure it’s dinner time! Just help me pry Linus out of his sobbing corner.

Narrating Snufflefungus: Yes, that was the most interesting Thanksgiving of my life. I learned a lot about prejudice and accepting people for who they are. Linus learned how to be thankful for new friends, even the kind that can kill you by accidentally touching you. Malex? He didn’t learn anything. He just spent the whole evening washing dishes and scraping charred turkey off the walls… But that, my friends, is another story…

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Alex Markley, Gabriel Markley, and Peter Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio3.73 MB Download Now - 3.73 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration100.87 KB Download Now - 100.87 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

Thanksgiving Noir

And I thought I'd had some awkward moments with guests and relatives during the holidays before. Sheesh! I'll never complain again. Snuffy narrating in noir style is just great. He sounds so...introspective. I like the part about prying Linus out of his sobbing corner. The picture is hilarious. Great job, all.

------------------------------

I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Who'd have guessed?

Who knew that Death was so polite?

Well, this episode kinda reminds me of a certain Twilight Zone episode...

I love this one guys. Especially Death's voice. It's actually pleasant to listen to.

Snuffy is so innocent!!!

------------------------------

A wise man once said, "A joke untold is one not laughed at."

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Lilly's picture

Oh man!

This episode was so awesome!

Snufflefungus: What is this place, anyway? Why is that man sleeping on the floor?

Death: He's most comfortable that way. Let's leave him alone.

Snufflefungus: Say, weren't you going to return that scythe to your friend?

Death: He said I could keep it.

Snufflefungus: How nice! Shall we go?

:-(|

------------------------------

There is a heartbeat at 18 days,

And a soul from conception,

its a baby, not an it.

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Wow...

:-O That was awsome. If that was not steping out of the box and compleatly destroying it, I dont know what is. Thanks for making me feel better, since I have not bin having a good day today :-(. I am looking forward to next weeks episode :-) . See you then.

..............................

I'm just here to brake up the action.

Whoooo (wind).

Um, hello everyone.

Mike- Hey Bob, you know what I hate?

Bob- What’s that Mike?

Mike- Giant Snakes that pop out of nowhere and kill ya.

Bob- You know, I hate those too.

“Crash.”

Random guard tower guy- Wow, good thing that was the guard tower next to us.

Oh

steping out of the box and compleatly destroying it,

Do you mean setting it aflame and spattering its charred remains all over the wall with the turkey?

------------------------------

A wise man once said, "A joke untold is one not laughed at."

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Alex's picture

Lol!

"steping out of the box and compleatly destroying it" --The Real JFK

Sir, I cannot think of a higher compliment. I'm quite glad we were able to brighten up your day. Many thanks for listening!

Seriously, thanks to everybody who has posted. Positive feedback is priceless to us. It really is.

ttyl

--Alex Markley

"Crap, I have levitation class at 25:131. Better set the alarm to 'cinnamon'."

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Peter's picture

No kidding

Thank you, everyone!

-------

Gaussian blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

The Prince is Amused

Even after taking a short break from listening to any malex minutes, i return to find the madness is still at a level i thought unthinkable! good work, gentlemen!

The Prince has Spoken!

A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous.

Mariel 7's picture

mental image

Do you mean setting it aflame and spattering its charred remains all over the wall with the turkey? -Ais

lol ... that's one of my greatest mental pictures of all time ... right up there with just about everything Dragon has ever said :-O 0_0 (he isn't Prince of Madness for nothing) :-(| X-|

Also, the quote of the week returns. I got the "Truly random Scripture" from another website which I unfortunately only visit every few months X-| . So, the stupidity returns today ... yay for you X-D

(P.S. Does this remind anyone else of Ramona ... X-D :-| )

-------------------------

Truly Random Anime Quote:

Sakura - Oh no, Sasuke's in trouble! This is my time to shine. Time to jump into action!!!! *faints*

Kakashi - Wow ... she's completely useless

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Weeeelllll...

If you meant Romana, as in the Doctor's companion, then the answer is yes.

------------------------------

A wise man once said, "A joke untold is one not laughed at."

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Susie Markley's picture

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Moo!" :O

#HowManyLicksDoesItTake to change a lightbulb?

Mariel 7's picture

yeah ...

nuff said :-(| X-D

-------------------------

Truly Random Anime Quote:

Sakura - Now is my time to shine. Time to jump into action!!!! *faints*

Kakashi - Wow ... she's completely useless

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Peter's picture

*lol*

I imagine that's directed at the Malex Minute episode or specifically Snufflefungus, right Leela? XD You left it kind of ambiguous. ;)

But yes, thank you DragonMan! XD Our pleasure. And I'm quite glad you enjoyed the episode Leela!

-------

Gaussian blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

YEAH!!!

The blonde Romana. >:-(

------------------------------

I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

But of course.

The brunette Romana was actually capable. The blonde one just pretended to be.

------------------------------

A wise man once said, "A joke untold is one not laughed at."

Everything looks perfect from far away.

elaborate

it was a good episode, the gnome loves the innocence of the snuff. could you elaborate on the charred turkey on the wall? this intrigues the gnome who was also amused by the back-story on how death got his scythe.

It doesn't stop being magic just because you learn how it's done.

Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.

Peter's picture

Well...

Apparently, when they said “burst into flames,” they meant “burst” literally. Or perhaps “exploded.” ;)

gnome said:

... the gnome ... was also amused by the back-story on how death got his scythe.

Yes, it was either a back-story, ... or maybe Death just realized that he was talking to the most innocent creature in the universe, and didn't want to tell him the truth. XD

-------

Gaussian blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

innocent?

is the snuff innocent or gullible? death was pretty funny, an unexpected characteristic for someone with his job.

It doesn't stop being magic just because you learn how it's done.

Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.

Everyone has to funny sometimes.

Just think, with a job like his, if he remained serious and death-like all the time, he might go mad. And if that happened, woe to the world. So I am glad Death can take time out and chuckle every now and then. (Where do you think Darwin awards came from?)

------------------------------

A wise man once said, "A joke untold is one not laughed at."

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Peter's picture

!

Aisling said:

(Where do you think Darwin awards came from?)

:O That's awful! :-(|

-------

Gaussian blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

I know.

Somebody smack me.

------------------------------

A wise man once said, "A joke untold is one not laughed at."

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Lilly's picture

*prepares to strike*

What are the Darwin awards? :-?

------------------------------

There is a heartbeat at 18 days,

And a soul from conception,

its a baby, not an it.

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Susie Markley's picture

Yeah..

I imagine that's directed at the Malex Minute episode or specifically Snufflefungus, right Leela? XD You left it kind of ambiguous. ;) -Quartz

Yeah...I guess that must have looked like I was awwing at Dragon Man's post! Weird... X-D lol.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Moo!" :O

#HowManyLicksDoesItTake to change a lightbulb?

Darwin Awards

The Darwin Awards are based on the principles of the theory of evolution. Mankind is evolving toward a higher form, and some people's DNA is not really conducive to the effort. The Darwin Awards are given to those whose intellect makes them less than ideal candidates for inclusion in the gene pool, and who do mankind a favor by doing themselves in in remarkably stupid ways. Here's a link to a story about some journalists who, in the wake of a rash of killings by rogue elephants in India, set out to interview the deadly herd, with tragic but predictable results.

I would be careful browsing this site, guys. The Darwin Awards can be gruesome, offensive and very funny. X-D

------------------------------

I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Caution

And some are rather vulgar too. 'Nuff said.

------------------------------

A wise man once said, "A joke untold is one not laughed at."

Everything looks perfect from far away.

this year's winner!

When his 38 - caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

It doesn't stop being magic just because you learn how it's done.

Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.

Jackie!!

That reminds me of a scene in one of Jackie Chan's earlier movies. He looked like an Asian Archie Andrews back then and in this one scene, he and a friend can't make the rifle shoot. Jackie ends up peering down the barrel while the friend fools with the trigger. They both live, but the scene is hilarious.

------------------------------

I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

laughing

jackie is nearly always good for a laugh...so are the darwin's

It doesn't stop being magic just because you learn how it's done.

Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.

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