Ah, Thanksgiving! A day for us to be thankful for our blessings and to share our abundance with others. Snufflefungus takes this to heart, and the results are… interesting. Give it a listen and let us know what you think.
Thanksgiving 2007, predictably, came and went. Though it may be gone, it will always live on in our hearts and in our memories, but primarily as leftover, cold, turkey sandwiches that nobody wants.
It will also be remembered as the Thanksgiving that Snufflefungus invited a friend to dinner.
This incident has clearly left an indelible mark on Linus’s soul. His so-called ‘Sobbing Corner’ may well need to be expanded into a ‘Sobbing Room’ and, given time, into an entire franchise of quickie ‘Sobbing Booths’ scattered across the nations of the Earth like a pox.
Or perhaps I’m reading too much into this. (I didn’t get much in the way of sleep this week, so my perception of reality is a tad more skewed than normal.)
In either case, we all hope you had a great Thanksgiving! And enjoy your Black Friday too. Try not to get very trampled.
“Holy galloping mice, Batman!”
Narrating Snufflefungus: It seemed like any other day at first… I was going shopping for Thanksgiving presents, and I thought everything was normal. Little did I know, my life would never be the same. Because, that was the day… I met Death face to face.
Death: Hello there! Have you seen this fellow, in the picture?
Snufflefungus: Why do you ask?
Death: Well, I don’t think I have to tell you who I am…
Snufflefungus: Well, not if you don’t want to.
Death: Wait, does that mean you don’t know who I am?
Snufflefungus: Not really…
Death: Oh. Well I’m Death, the physical manifestation of the single most feared thing in all creation.
Snufflefungus: Oh, okay. So… why are you looking for that guy?
Death: I… Uh… He left this scythe at my house when he was visiting. I want to give it back.
Snufflefungus: Oh, that’s very nice! No.
Death: “No,” what?
Snufflefungus: “No,” I have not seen him. Shouldn’t you already have his address though? I mean, if you’re friends?
Death: Well, I did have the file all ready to go, but I must have misplaced it somewhere. You know how these things go.
Snufflefungus: Yeah, yeah. It’s a hard world out there.
Death: … Sure it is. Well, I guess I’ll be off.
Narrating Snufflefungus: And that’s when I made my first mistake.
Snufflefungus: Hey, do you want to come to Thanksgiving dinner at my house?
Narrating Snufflefungus: What could I do? He seemed so… gaunt, like he needed food real bad. How could I know what was in store?
Death: (Shocked.) Oh my, are you serious? Me?
Snufflefungus: Sure! There’s going to be plenty of food! I mean, unless you already have plans…
Death: Nobody has ever shown me that sort of kindness. Of course I accept your offer, dear creature. I would greatly enjoy having Thanksgiving dinner with you at your house.
~~ Scene change.
Malex: Well, that’s it, the turkey is in the oven.
Linus: (Excited.) When can we eat it?!
Malex: If you’re you, never.
Linus: Fine, carbon-face. You have your traditions, see if I care! I have my sarcasm, and that’s all I need!
~~ Phone rings.
Malex: I’ll get it.
Linus: I’m not going to eavesdrop at all.
Death: Greetings, this is Death. I seem to have misplaced your address from my file. Would you mind giving it to me?
Linus: (Gasps animatedly.) Hang it up! Hang it up!
Malex: We’re not interested. Please put your number… our number… on your “Do Not Call” list.
Death: I’m sorry, I do hope I don’t have the wrong number, but a young fuzzy creature invited me to come over and have thanksgiving dinner at your house today. I hope that’s not a problem.
Linus: (Screams into the phone.) Of course it’s a problem, sicko! Go take somebody else! (Hangs up the phone.)
Malex: I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t tear the phone from my grasp in the middle of a conversation.
Linus: Even when it’s a conversation with Death?!
Malex: You don’t really think that was–
Linus: Barricade the doors! Board up the windows!
Malex: Actually, come to think of it, that was a little creepy. Where is Snufflefungus, anyway?
~~ Scene change.
Snufflefungus: There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!
Death: Why, young creature! I feared your invitation had been rescinded when I called. I spoke to a very rude young man who screamed in my ear and hung up the phone.
Snufflefungus: Oh, he’s just like that. I remembered that you didn’t know how to get to our house, so I thought I’d come and bring you myself!
Death: That’s very thoughtful. I do appreciate your gesture.
Snufflefungus: What is this place, anyway? Why is that man sleeping on the floor?
Death: He’s most comfortable that way. Let’s leave him alone.
Snufflefungus: Say, weren’t you going to return that scythe to your friend?
Death: He said I could keep it.
Snufflefungus: How nice! Shall we go?
~~ Scene change.
Malex: Well, that’s it for the doors and windows. I don’t think he can get in now…
Linus: But how is Snufflefungus going to get in?
Malex: Oh, well you know his mad scientist lab in the basement? There are like three secret entrances to that lab around the property. If he shows up, he can get in.
Linus: Oh, okay.
Snufflefungus: Hi guys! I brought a new friend with me!
Malex: Was that you on the phone?
Death: Yeah. Sorry, I guess I must have been pretty off-putting the way I presented myself over the phone.
Malex: Oh, that’s okay. So, should I… you know… shake your hand? Or…
Death: You’d better not.
Malex: Oh, okay.
Snufflefungus: So is it dinner time yet? I’m starved!
Malex: Sure it’s dinner time! Just help me pry Linus out of his sobbing corner.
Narrating Snufflefungus: Yes, that was the most interesting Thanksgiving of my life. I learned a lot about prejudice and accepting people for who they are. Linus learned how to be thankful for new friends, even the kind that can kill you by accidentally touching you. Malex? He didn’t learn anything. He just spent the whole evening washing dishes and scraping charred turkey off the walls… But that, my friends, is another story…
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writers: Alex Markley, Gabriel Markley, and Peter Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers
Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley
Illustration: Peter Markley
Release manager: Peter Markley
Recording assistance: Leela
Thanks to everyone for their help and support.