Linus gives tennis a try, but finds the result too concussive for his liking. Also, Snufflefungus makes an old friend! Give it a listen and let us know what you think.
Much of this episode was written at a time when the authors were too exhausted to function properly. This time is called ‘Midnight’ and it is rarely considered a good time for productive work.
However, the week’s course of events left us with little choice in the matter. And I shan’t complain, as it resulted in this week’s episode, which is funny.
As with all other things, there have been ups and downs in the production of the Malex Minute. However, by and large, I feel that the quality has remained generally high. High enough, in fact, that I’m actually enjoying listening to the Malex Minute every week. And this week is no exception, I assure you.
It’s a rare privilege to work on something you genuinely enjoy, and I do not take it for granted. Of course, it’s also a rare privilege to get paid for working on something that you enjoy, but we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.
As always, we genuinely hope you enjoy this week’s episode.
“I’d really like to get to know you less.”
Malex: Welcome, one and all, to the Malex Minute!
Linus: What, are you a carnie now?
Snufflefungus: He doesn’t look like one.
Malex: Thank you, Snufflefungus.
Linus: How could you tell?! He might be in disguise!
Snufflefungus: But he doesn’t have a tail! Or ketchup!
Linus: You’re right of course. I concede the point entirely!
Malex: One of these days, Snufflefungus, we’re going to have to have a talk about what exactly happened just then.
Snufflefungus: (Cheerfully.) Okay!
Linus: That’s what I like about you, Malex… You’re always planning for the future.
Malex: Insult me will you? So, Linus, why don’t you share with the audience where you got that fine goose egg on your head?
Snufflefungus: Goose Egg? Where?!
Malex: I don’t mean a literal Goose Egg. I mean the kind that you get when, say, you belt yourself in the back of the skull with a tennis racquet.
Linus: Well now you’ve told them everything.
Malex: No no, it was definitely funnier when you were trying to justify yourself in the emergency room.
Snufflefungus: The doctor didn’t believe your story. He thinks we’re abusive parents.
Malex: Snufflefungus, I think you’ve gotten our show confused with a cheesy drama again.
Linus: Ah, the magic of cliches! With their liberal application, the lazy writer can tap into literally millions of prepackaged emotional responses without any investment at all in pesky things like character development or believable situations.
Malex: So, dragging the topic back to your head…
Linus: No really, don’t bother.
Snufflefungus: Linus was trying to spike the tennis ball and forgot to miss his head before hitting the ball!
Malex: I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen somebody knock themselves across a tennis court before. It was a magical thing, seeing him soaring head over heels like a rag doll.
Linus: Shut up! I lost that match because you didn’t care about me enough!
Snufflefungus: No, they said you lost the match because you hit yourself out of bounds!
Linus: I’m never taking up another sport ever again.
Malex: Why do you keep taking up random sports, anyway?
Linus: It’s because I’m still trying to find meaning as a tangible object! This whole existence is new to me!
Snufflefungus: It’s like riding a bicycle! It’s hard to learn how because you keep falling off over and over again, until you give up in a storm of frustrated disgust!
Malex: I’m not sure that’s a good analogy.
Linus: So can we possibly talk about something else during this episode? Or should I expect a long winter.
Snufflefungus: I got a postcard!
Malex: The winter thing, definitely.
Snufflefungus: No really, I got a postcard, and it’s incredibly heartwarming!
Malex: Well, what does it say, Snufflefungus?
Snufflefungus: It says, “Hi Snufflefungus! My tour across Europe continues to revitalize my soul like the thousands of weekends I never had. You were right about France. It’s exactly as you described!”
Linus: Who is this from again?
Snufflefungus: ‘Jack,’ apparently.
Malex: Do… Do you know any Jack?
Snufflefungus: (Cheerfully.) Apparently!
Linus: Please, continue reading.
Snufflefungus: He goes on to say, “As I gaze at the breathtaking skyline, I’m constantly reminded of the nuggets of wisdom you always used to share with us. In particular, ‘Don’t count your ink pens before they’ve dried, because a chuckle in hand is worth two in the mouth.’”
Malex: Snufflefungus, think hard. Do you remember this man?
Snufflefungus: Nope! But I bet he’s a good friend!
Linus: This could be serious, folks.
Malex: Is there anything else on that thing?
Snufflefungus: He says, “P.S. Of course the significance of the picture on the front could never escape you, my mentor and dearest friend.” Then he signs it, ‘Jack.’
Malex: Well, that’s horrifying on a number of levels.
Snufflefungus: Or it’s heartwarming!
Linus: I think I’m going to go cry myself to sleep now.
Snufflefungus: Aw, Linus, I’m sure you’ll get an exciting friend like Jack eventually! Until then, I’ll still be your best friend.
Malex: Well everybody, I think that’s about all for this episode. Thanks so much for listening and we hope you’ll join us again next week on the next Malex Minute!
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writers: Alex Markley, Gabriel Markley, and Peter Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers
Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley
Illustration: Peter Markley
Release manager: Peter Markley
Recording assistance: Leela
Thanks to everyone for their help and support.