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Malex Minute 088

Strike! Alex Markley shows up again and tries to force our heroes to stop recording the Malex Minute! Give it a listen and let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

I find this week’s episode hilarious on a number of levels.

The return of our fictional ‘Alex Markley’ is a thing which I have been looking forward to – nay, saving up – for just such an occasion as this.

Whether or not Snufflefungus’s bite causes insanity is no longer up for debate. You may rest assured that it does. And now we find that Snufflefungus has surely traveled to California and bitten every single person who works in entertainment industry.

As humorous as ‘Alex Markley’s’ words and actions are, there are others in the entertainment industry whose convoluted positions are far funnier in their sheer, awkward audacity.

This is not to say that I disagree with the positions of the ‘poor’ writers. If they do work, they should expect to be compensated for it. Furthermore, the free market dictates that they should be able to demand any price they want.

However, this whole process of back-stabbing, contractual wrangling, and insane bickering (known to many as ‘Union Negotiations’) strikes me as vaguely unproductive at best. At worst, it is completely and utterly ludicrous. (The ‘other side’ of the free market coin is the fact that if you set your asking price too high, another can undercut you – forcing the industry to open up to fresh talent and ideas. So, gentle reader, are unions a perversion of the free market which is unnecessary in today’s world? I leave the answer up to you.)

Despite the levity of this week’s episode, pondering the consequences of the strike forces me to shed a bitter tear. Not because my favorite show is canceled, but because the crews that work on these shows are completely out of work.

Nobody ever seems to think of this, but it’s not the writers, producers, directors, or actors who will hurt from this. Many of them are well-paid, and are unlikely to be in financial distress any time soon. The people who are hurting from this strike are the guys and gals on the crew. The people who handle lighting, electricity, props, costumes, sets… There are hundreds of small jobs on the set of a medium production, and most of them don’t pay well at all.

So you’ve got a bunch of kids, just out of film-school, working to break into the film industry and pay off their college debt, and wham! … They had better hope they work for one of the productions that gets canceled first, because the job market for burger-flippers is likely to be saturated sooner than later.

ttyl

——Alex Markley

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Malex: Welcome to the Malex Minute, Ladies and Gentlemen! I’m Malex, and these are my co-hosts, Linus and Snufflefungus!

Linus: Howdy, vermin!

Snufflefungus: Hello everybody! I’ve been doing something exciting lately!

Linus: Oh no, not–

Alex Markley: Stop speaking! Stop it at once!

Malex: I’m sorry, who are you?

Alex Markley: I’m Alex Markley, of course, the writer and producer of this show!

Linus: Yeah, and I’m Santa Claus. I bring joy and happiness to all the little boys and girls of Ohioville.

Snufflefungus: Hey, didn’t I bite you and make you go insane? (That would be from way back in Episode 028. ——Super Alex)

Malex: Yeah, you were supposed to be out of commission pretty permanently.

Alex Markley: Drugs and therapy, my boy! Drugs and therapy! The mantra of our age.

Malex: So what’s this about us not being allowed to speak anymore?

Alex Markley: Yes, right! Haven’t you heard there’s a strike on?! None of the writers are allowed to write!

Linus: We’re all waiting for you to blunder into a point.

Malex: Quite. The suspense is unbearable.

Alex Markley: Well, obviously, if I haven’t written any words for you to say, you shouldn’t be saying anything at all!

Snufflefungus: I’m not sure that makes sense.

Malex: Wouldn’t this be more of an argument against your ‘supposed’ involvement in the production than anything else?

Alex Markley: Of course I’m involved! I write and executively produce!

Snufflefungus: I don’t remember ever seeing you before.

Linus: Snuffy, you bit him once.

Snufflefungus: Oh right, so he doesn’t ever remember seeing me before.

Alex Markley: Ah, my cleverest line yet!

Malex: That’s so convoluted.

Linus: So exactly what is the purpose of this strike again?

Alex Markley: We writers are being constantly trodden on by the producers in our industry! We’re not being fairly compensated, and we’re going to shut the entire industry down until we are!

Snufflefungus: Are what?

Alex Markley: Fairly compensated.

Linus: By who again?

Alex Markley: The producers, of course!

Malex: Aren’t you supposedly the executive producer?

Alex Markley: By Jove, you’re right! I’ll never give in to my unreasonable demands!

Linus: That’s right, Chuck, stick to your guns.

Snufflefungus: It’ll all be okay eventually.

Malex: But, wouldn’t it just be easier for everyone to just follow the golden rule and treat one another fairly in the first place? Don’t these brute force strikes just hurt the consumers, the little guys, and the studios that hire them while leaving the executives at the big studios completely unscathed?

Alex Markley: (Chuckles menacingly.) Oh, they won’t be completely unscathed my boy. Not by a long shot.

Linus: It’s like swatting a fly with a hydrogen bomb.

Snufflefungus: Tell me about it! Those flies are well-armed.

Linus: Snufflefungus, I think you might be confused.

Alex Markley: Well I’m off, I’ve scheduled a picket in front of my office for the next twelve hours.

Malex: Have fun with that.

Linus: Snufflefungus, exactly how poisonous is your bite?!

Malex: Yeah, just how insane does it make people?

Snufflefungus: Well, lets just say that on my home planet we young Snufflefungi used to have fun chasing the mailmen… And now we have the phrase ‘going postal’ to describe the result!

Linus: How shocking!

Malex: Great, now we’re just being offensive…

Snufflefungus: So, I have something interesting to share!

Malex: What’s that, Snufflefungus?

Snufflefungus: I’ve started a book club! We read childrens books and discuss the societal ramifications of their underlying message!

Malex: Really? That’s… interesting…

Snufflefungus: The subtext can be very deep!

Malex: Wait a minute… Something’s missing here…

Snufflefungus: What do you mean?

Malex: We followed the formula perfectly! You said you had something interesting to say, I said, “What’s that, Snufflefungus?” you said what it was, and…

Linus: Abandon this train of thought, Malex.

Malex: Normally Linus would ridicule you up and down, but this time he didn’t!

Linus: No! It’s not true!

Malex: And you called it a book club! That means you must have members!

Linus: (Whimpers.)

Malex: Linus! Are you a member of Snufflefungus’s book club?!

Snufflefungus: (Happily.) He had some amazing insights about Horton Hears a Who!

Linus: (Desperately.) The subtext can be very deep!

Malex: Well what a surprise. Linus, you may have a heart after all!

Linus: Shut up!

Malex: Well look at the time… I guess that’s it for this episode! Thanks for listening everybody, and we all hope you’ll join us again next week for the next Malex Minute episode!

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio2.99 MB Download Now - 2.99 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration148.94 KB Download Now - 148.94 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

That's so true

Quartz, this picture is delightful! Actually, that's very true about the depth of the subtext! Parents should always be aware of what the writer is trying to tell your children!

Alex Markley: By Jove, you're right! I'll never give in to my unreasonable demands!

This is priceless! I laughed a lot during this episode. Keep it up guys! This is great!

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

ah, madness. isn't it wonderful?

Linus: Snufflefungus, exactly how poisonous is your bite?!

Malex: Yeah, just how insane does it make people?

Snufflefungus: Well, lets just say that on my home planet we young Snufflefungi used to have fun chasing the mailmen... And now we have the phrase "going postal" to describe the result!

the Snufflefungus's bite seems like the perfect tool to spread Madness throughout the nation! i must obtain some snufflefungi venom! X-D

The Prince has Spoken!

A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous.

Well,

Only the best for the Prince of Madness, eh Sheogorath?

--

And my latest acting coach? I had him tortured, thrown in the dungeon, and... well, let's just say he's in a happier place now.

Dr. Doom

--

"Have you seen how much cotton candy he can eat?"

"Yes! 5.1 Pounds. That's why his blood is so good on pancakes!"

Peter's picture

Hehe

SangMing said:

Quartz, this picture is delightful!

Thank you! XD

-------

Gaussian Blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Is that....

Hey, J. Your avatar is too small for my aged eyes to see clearly. Is that a plunger he's carrying? And are those...bunny ears!? Could that mean that your avater is in fact...A RAVING RABBID!?

Gee, I hope so. Those guys crack me up.

------------------------------

I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Why, indeed it is

It is, in fact, a poster for Raving Rabbids 2. I saw it and fell in love with it.

--

And my latest acting coach? I had him tortured, thrown in the dungeon, and... well, let's just say he's in a happier place now.

Dr. Doom

--

"Have you seen how much cotton candy he can eat?"

"Yes! 5.1 Pounds. That's why his blood is so good on pancakes!"

Peter's picture

Yes...

XD It is a Rabbid.

-------

Gaussian Blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Oro?

"Rabbid"? What's a Rabbid?

Oro?

Well,

The link that Quartz provides is more than sufficient for answering your question. You may also wish to look up "Bunnies can't phone" on Youtube. Actually, I'll find the link and post it myself. Give a me a minute.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCncfXXxZW4

Best. Commercial. EVAR.

--

And my latest acting coach? I had him tortured, thrown in the dungeon, and... well, let's just say he's in a happier place now.

Dr. Doom

--

"Have you seen how much cotton candy he can eat?"

"Yes! 5.1 Pounds. That's why his blood is so good on pancakes!"

scathed

the gnome thinks you have all been scathed by the alex markely character who is, btw (that's by the way - for the quartz...the gnome has been waiting to do that) well written and quite life-like...is this character based on a real person, or a composite of several people? it doesn't matter, it is a very original character...reminiscent of lrrs (you know that one quartz) but without the italian accent.

It doesn't stop being magic just because you learn how it's done.

Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.

Ha ha Crazy J,

methinks you'll like this one better.

------------------------------

A wise man once said, "A joke untold is one not laughed at."

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Howdy

Welcome, Himura-kun. It's good to have you with us. I think if you follow some of the links that people have provided, you'll find out about "rabbids."

------------------------------

I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Peter's picture

Hi!

Welcome to the Malex Media Network,™ Himura-kun! It's good to have you! I hope you enjoy it here. XD

gnome said:

btw (that's by the way - for the quartz...the gnome has been waiting to do that) ... reminiscent of lrrs (you know that one quartz)

Hehehe... I had forgotten about that running joke, I must admit. XD Yes, LRRS is (I know! I know! Don't tell me!) Little Red Riding Squirrel! *lol*

-------

Gaussian Blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Himura-kun

Hi! Welcome to the site! Is see it says you're from Japan. That's cool. BTB, what does "oro" mean?

------------------------------

A wise man once said, "A joke untold is one not laughed at."

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Mariel 7's picture

inside jokes

in the show Rurouni Kenshin, Kenshin Himura is a wandering samurai who uses his sword to protect people. His "catch-phrase" is "Oro?" which means "... huhhh?"

-------------------------

Truly Random Bible Verse:

Song of Songs 2:5 - “Strengthen me with apples, refresh me with raisins, for I am faint with love.”

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Other meanings

Does the name Himura-kun have any significance?

------------------------------

I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Mariel 7's picture

Japanese 101

-kun, like -san, is a term to show respect. However, -kun is much more personal. The translation would be something like "little Himura" or "Kenny" (many people refer to each other in Japan by their last names instead of first. So, I'd call most of you M-kun ;-) )

-------------------------

Truly Random Bible Verse:

Song of Songs 2:5 - “Strengthen me with apples, refresh me with raisins, for I am faint with love.”

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Confusion

How, then, would we know to which of us you were referring? :-? This is why given names are such a good idea.

------------------------------

I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Mariel 7's picture

Japanese 102

Given names are used sometimes, but usually it's family names (because it's more respectful)

However, there are more then just two titles. So I might call Aisling M-chan and Fopsworth M-kun. You and Oz I would probably call M-dono and M-sama respectively.

*feels helpful* ;-) *probably just added to the confusion* :-( (oh well :-D )

-------------------------

Truly Random Bible Verse:

Song of Songs 2:5 - “Strengthen me with apples, refresh me with raisins, for I am faint with love.”

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

respective titles

one could just call the sangming 'your highness' ;-)

It doesn't stop being magic just because you learn how it's done.

Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.

Susie Markley's picture

This episode.

I couldn't stop laughing about the book club thing! I mean, it almost made Linus look... I mean...HE WAS CUTE!!! :-*

Cute little Linus in the book club! Awwwww! Linus will hate me forever now! Oh well...it was worth it!!! :P

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Moo!" :O

#HowManyLicksDoesItTake to change a lightbulb?

Oh.

"His "catch-phrase" is "Oro?" which means "... huhhh?""

Oh! That's why bablefish couldn't translate it.

------------------------------

A wise man once said, "A joke untold is one not laughed at."

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Susie Markley's picture

?

:-?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Moo!" :O

#HowManyLicksDoesItTake to change a lightbulb?

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