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Malex Minute 081

In this episode, Snufflefungus listens to the news. Also, marshmallows! Give it a listen and let us know what you think.

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

When considering the ramblings of President Anchorman, one is never sure what is real and what is imagined. It almost seems as though he speaks in real sentences, and often he does. Although many people speak sentences as a result of one or more thoughts, we are forced to conclude that, for President Anchorman, this particular cause-and-effect relationship takes on an entirely different configuration.

In addition to this, many of the characters in this episode appear to be suffering from some serious ailment. At best, some sort of acute hearing loss… At worst, a formal thought disorder.

The reasons for this aren’t as diabolical or far-reaching as you might imagine. Despite the whispers of an impending story-arc, our characters will be back to normal next episode. To be frank, we invented this particular kind of reciprocal brain problem because we thought it would be funny.

And really, is there any better reason for doing something odd during the course of an entertainment which is also ostensibly a comedy?

I should hope not!

Cur.

Finally, I must formally apologize for the sports-related turn things have apparently taken. Perhaps you will find the idea humorous, as we have.

If not, and we have somehow offended you by our gross misrepresentation of something you love, please understand that it is out of genuine ignorance of this strange world of ‘sports’ and not some sort of intentional mockery.

After all, we simply portray such things as we perceive them, which is more a reflection on us than on the game itself.

ttyl!

——Alex Markley

“Eventually, this planet will decide we’re no longer amusing and fling us all into space. It’s people like you who are prolonging the agony.”

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Malex: Welcome to the Malex Minute everybody! I’m Malex, and I’ll be hosting the show–

Snufflefungus: Malex, shh! The news is coming on!

President Anchorman: It’s just horrible Ladies and Gentlemen, the crop circles just keep showing up. Taking on the form of chocolate-chip cookies, these circles are made of burning, and they’re just starting to get a tad ominous.

Real Anchorman: Uh, sir… What are you doing here?

President Anchorman: Shut up, you whipper-snapper, I’m the president ’round these parts, and I can take over any news show I want. It’s the law.

Real Anchorman: Uh, no. I don’t think that’s true.

President Anchorman: Arrest this scallop, Gingivitis, so I can continue reveling in the news of this fair nation. In other cookie-related news, some old lady has reported seeing a cookie-shaped cloud floating around in the sky. Is she a witness of another spooky cookie phenomenon, or is she just off her locker? Let’s magically go on the scene and find out.

~~ Cut to windy exterior.

Woman: I see it, John! I see it right there!

John: But, dear, it’s just a regular storm system!

Woman: No it isn’t, the cookies are swarming!

~~ Back to studio.

President Anchorman: Between you and me, if I wasn’t president already, I’d marry that woman. She’s pretty and completely grapes. One final bit of scrumptious news is that one poor Ohioville child has reported losing an entire chocolate-chip cookie. Neighbors are reported as being ‘supportive,’ and family members are being investigated at this time. The wide eye of suspicion casts deep nets in the water of blame.

Malex: Snufflefungus, turn that off! My contempt for that man grows hourly!

Linus: Why do you watch that stuff, Snufflefungus? You might as well take out some of your brain and throw it away!

Snufflefungus: But I like knowing what’s going on in the world! You have to admit, the cookie stuff is kinda creepy! Besides, I love Anchorman’s accent!

Linus: You disgust me.

Malex: Doesn’t Ultra-Snuffy have a thing for cookies?

Snufflefungus: Yeah… What about it?

Linus: Maybe you had something to do with this cookie madness!

Snufflefungus: What?!

Linus: Maybe you had something to do with this cookie madness!

Snufflefungus: No, I heard you. I was wondering what you were implying?

Linus: Oh. Well, I just thought you might have created some sort of gigantic doom machine that orbits the Earth and steals all of our cookies.

Snufflefungus: No, I tried making a doomy machine once, but it didn’t work out. I’m too good!

Malex: Well that’s something of a comfort…

Linus: I’ve been meaning to ask, what have you been working on lately? As a mad scientist, that is.

Snufflefungus: Funny you asked today, as I’ve just finished my magnum opus! As a mad scientist, that is.

Malex: So what is it?

Snufflefungus: The Sky-Darkener!

Malex: … So what is it?

Snufflefungus: The Sky-Darkener!

Malex: I heard you, I mean what does it do?

Snufflefungus: Oh. Well, it–

Linus: Wait! Let me guess! It creates thunderstorms!

Snufflefungus: No.

Linus: It clouds men’s hearts and steals their souls!

Snufflefungus: No.

Linus: It organizes elaborate crime sprees!

Snufflefungus: No.

Linus: Cheats on your taxes?

Snufflefungus: No.

Linus: Tints windows?

Snufflefungus: No.

Linus: Toasts marshmallows?

Snufflefungus: How did you ever guess!

Malex: The Sky-Darkener toasts marshmallows?

Snufflefungus: They always did look like cute little clouds to me…

Linus: Wait, so I got it right? Seriously?

Malex: Wow, okay. So did you guys hear what happened at the grocery store this morning?

Snufflefungus: No, what?

Linus: Do we even care?

Malex: Some crazy people were picketing the grocery store! They had all kinds of nonsense on their signs, but when I asked what the point was, they couldn’t tell me!

Linus: Oh no! Were they wearing maize and blue?!

Malex: Yeah, I thought that was strange.

Linus: Darn wolverines, I’ve gotta call the team! We can’t lose the home game!

Malex: Picketing?

Linus: It’s an organized sport, doofus. Look it up.

Snufflefungus: Good luck Linus! Break a leg!

Malex: And he’s off.

Snufflefungus: He takes it very seriously. They’ve been doing well all season, but if they lose this one it could seriously damage their chances at the championship.

Malex: Shows what I know… Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, looks like we’re out of time for this episode. Thanks for listening and we hope you’ll join us next week on the Malex Minute!

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Alex Markley, Gabriel Markley, and Peter Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to inchadney for use of the Storm sound effect.

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

NameSizeAction
Episode Audio3.33 MB Download Now - 3.33 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration109.29 KB Download Now - 109.29 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

LOL

This turned out very well. Loved the random lets make fun of michigan stuff. Those jokes just always seem to come out of nowhere. (guess thats why they're random)

Keep it up guys

Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.

Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.

Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This episode was realy great. But I have good news and bad news. The good news is I am not a Michigan fan. The bad new is I am not an Ohio State Buckeye fan. I hope this does not offend anyone.Other than that I realy injoied this episode X-D.

.......

I realy don't believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mike- Hey Bob, you know what I hate?

Bob- What’s that Mike?

Mike- Giant Snakes that pop out of nowhere and kill ya.

Bob- You know, I hate those too.

“Crash.”

Random guard tower guy- Wow, good thing that was the guard tower next to us.

Alex's picture

:-D

Really glad you enjoyed this episode.

Of course I am a Buckeyes fan, having attended school there for a year. But, I must admit to generally wondering what all the fuss is about. :-P

Oh well, I guess it's just 'cause I'm a geek... ;)

--Alex Markley

"Crap, I have levitation class at 25:131. Better set the alarm to 'cinnamon'."

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Where to begin?

Okay, this was terrific! Really funny. I laughed out loud more than twice. President Anchorman just keeps getting funnier and funnier. I love his garbled metaphors and general fogginess. Between you and me, if I wasn't president already, I'd marry that woman. She's pretty and completely grapes. It's as if someone took a hand mixer to the man's brain!

The OSU/Michigan thing is hilarious. Big Ten Picketing! Now they've both played away games, what happens when they play at home?

Snuffy can't get any cuter! He tried to make a Doomy Machine, and the worst he could do was invent a marshmallow toaster and call it a Sky Darkener! And that picture is the cutest thing this side of a kitten! But I notice the train Snuffy's playing with is red. Maybe someone should replace it with a safer one, perhaps while Snuffy's asleep.

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

I love it!

I especially love the picture of Snuffy. It seems different somehow. He looks fuzzier and cuter and snuggly-er. If that's even possible.

I agree with everything SangMing said. It was very funny!

But Snuffy's right. The cookie thing is getting a little bit creepy. <_< ... >_>

To expound upon SangMing's comment, many toy red trains have been recalled due to lead-based paint. But I don't think I could stand to take a toy away from Snuffy! And doing it when he's sleeping just seem ... underhanded. What if he misses it? What if he cries!? I COULDN"T TAKE IT!!!!! :-(( :-(( :-(( :-(( :-((

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One phrase. Three simple words.

Jesus - A real person

Is - Present tense; living

God - The embodiment of the Sovereign

Everything looks perfect from far away.

The downside of motherhood

What if he misses it? What if he cries!?

Sometimes being a mom involves tough love. Taking away a dangerous toy is one of the toughest parts. But you're right. We should explain to Snuffy while he's awake and he'll just have to try to understand. But I suspect that his toy train is a good toy train. :-)

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Peter's picture

*lol*

XD Yeah, it's probably just red die in the plastic, no paint involved.

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Gaussian Blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Mariel 7's picture

I hope so...

Or this might be him!!! 0_0 :-(( ( :-P )

I found this picture on the internet and thought it was hilarious. It's by one of my favorite {amature} manga artists.

Here's one that I think Ais and Lilly will like. Somewhat melancholy, and melodramatic, but that's why it rocks :-*

Also, her first in a line of full size prints: Waiting

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Truly Random Anime Quote:

Ed - I'm not gonna drink some nasty, opaque, white stuff that was secreted by a cow!!!!!

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Peter's picture

*lol*

Mariel 7 said:

Or this might be him!!! 0_0

That cartoon is hilarious! XD

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Gaussian Blur fixes everything.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Oh wow!

I do like that one. Though it took me a second to realize that that was a fox off to the side. :-P

And I really like "Waiting" as well... :-) I'm waiting too.

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"I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong."

-Lemony Snicket's The Beatrice Letters

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Mariel 7's picture

yup

ChristianKitsune is pretty darn amazing :-P :-* I found some of her work on TheProject Chrisitan Anime Site ... namely "Stick Monkey" (it's so disturbing 0_0 ... but absolutely hysterical X-D )

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Truly Random Anime Quote:

Ed - I'm not gonna drink some nasty, opaque, white stuff that was secreted by a cow!!!!!

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

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