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Malex Minute 060

In this crazy Malex Minute episode, Malex and Ultra-Snuffy learn a valuable lesson: Never go up against the Principal. Seriously, he’s one scary guy. Anyway, it’s hilarious, so you’d better give it a listen and let us know what you think!

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

Not many thoughts today folks. It’s too late for thinking anyway. :)

Most everybody should know by now that I love music. A lot. What you may not know is that I’m a big fan of practically all kinds of music. Not just the Electronica that I myself compose. In fact, I’m a total sucker for a good Rock song. (As in, I was inconsolable when DC Talk broke up. Simply inconsolable. And kudos if you even know who they were.)

Since I publish so much of my own Electronic music, one might think me to be biased against publishing Analog music. Well no sir, that is not the case. I’ve been hoping for some good new Analog music to come my way so I could have the honor of publishing it.

Well it has, and the honor is all mine. Nathan Lundquist (aka HonkeyDorey) has joined the Malex Media Network team as an artist and contributed two new songs! One is called Angelina and the other is called Follow the Star.

They’re both rock of the very highest caliber. In fact, Angelina has been running through my head non-stop ever since I first heard it.

Now you might not think this is a big deal, but I’m really really excited about all this. Being able to publish some amazingly good analog music has been one of my long-term goals for the Malex Media Network now for years. Seeing it come to pass is brilliant.

Enjoy this week’s Malex Minute! I’m told it’s a blast…

ttyl!

——Alex Markley

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Malex: Hey everybody, welcome to the Malex Minute! I’m Malex, and this is Snufflefungus–

Snufflefungus: No! No. I am Ultra-Snuffy.

Malex: Ah yes, I forgot.

Snufflefungus: It’s an easy mistake to make. Snufflefungus is very similar to me.

Malex: Oh, you know him?

Snufflefungus: Why yes! I know Snufflefungus. He’s a very nice guy. He’s pretty awesome overall.

Malex: Really. (Almost like a question, but not really.)

Snufflefungus: Yes, yes… And cute too. Do you know him?

Malex: Um, yes. Yes I do.

Snufflefungus: That’s nice. (Awkward, vulnerable.) So… Do you think Snufflefungus is a nice guy?

Malex: Uh yeah, yeah. He’s great.

Snufflefungus: You sure?

Malex: Positive.

~~ Awkward silence.

Snufflefungus: So, have you noticed that we can talk in italics now?

Malex: Oh yeah, isn’t it great? I was up all night the other day improving our XML system.

Snufflefungus: Nice, nice.

Malex: And now we can speak in italics.

Snufflefungus: That’s so cool…

Malex: So anyway, back to business, Ladies and Gentlemen. Previously on the Malex Minute, we discovered that children were going missing all over Ohioville. After a great deal of investigation–

Snufflefungus: And anonymous tips!

Malex: –we discovered that the children are being lured away through some horrible portal.

Snufflefungus: Hmm, ‘horrible portal.’ That rhymes…

Malex: Anyway, these poor children are being lured away by sheep that we suspect are being distributed at the local school!

Snufflefungus: And Linus and Jeffrey have something to do with it.

Malex: Yeah, you’re probably right.

Snufflefungus: ’Cause Linus wanted a robot body, so he’s been dealing sheep to pay for it.

Malex: So anyway, Snuffy and I came up here to the school and demanded to see the principal, but he’s making us wait outside his office.

Snufflefungus: He’s probably organizing a cover-story as we speak!

Malex: Could be…

~~ Silence.

Malex: You know, these chairs are really small.

Snufflefungus: Really? I hadn’t noticed.

Malex: Yup, yup…

Assistant: (Opens door.) Um, hello? You can come in now…

Malex: Ah, thank you.

Snufflefungus: It’s about time, too!

Assistant: Sorry for the delay. (Closes door.)

Principal: What do you want?!

Malex: Well, I–

Principal: Can’t you see I’m a busy man?!

Snufflefungus: Well we–

Principal: You’re a bunch of blithering nitwits, aren’t you?! Spit it out!

Malex: You’ve got illegal sheep dealing going on at this school! The kids are buying them in droves!

Principal: What are you talking about?! This is a tightly-run operation here! No sheep dealing going on under my nose!

Assistant: But, sir? What about that one guy who comes in every day with a new flock?

Malex: That’s what I thought! The kids are buying sheep here, and before anybody knows it they’re gone!

Principal: I don’t know what you’re talking about!

Snufflefungus: Yes you do! I can see the guilt all over your face!

Assistant: That’s actually a dab of mustard.

Principal: You shut your stinking mouth!

Assistant: Sorry…

Malex: So you claim to know nothing at all about the sheep that are being sold at your school.

Principal: That’s exactly what I claim! And if you want to fight about it, I’ll punch your head in until it’s… Until it’s… uh, um… Until it’s not working right anymore!

Snufflefungus: You may punch his head in, but after that, you’re going to have to deal with Ultra-Snuffy!

Malex: Well I don’t precisely want to fight about it, that’s okay. But uh, but I still don’t believe you, and I will be back. Soon. (Opens door.)

Assistant: Thanks for coming! Come again soon!

Principal: You stupid moron person! Shut your stinking mouth!

Assistant: (Door has closed, so muffled.) Sorry…

Malex: That crazy principal has clearly been paid off to be quiet.

Anonymous: Clearly.

Malex: Whoa! Hello, Anonymous. So, what’s up?

Anonymous: Oh, you know, spiritual warfare and things. Actually, I’m here to warn you about the conflict you’re about to enter.

Snufflefungus: Haven’t we already entered it?

Anonymous: Oh sure. It’s just about to get a lot worse.

Malex: (Sarcastic.) Oh great…

Anonymous: I would have come talk to you sooner, but I just now quit brawling with some hot-shot demon.

Snufflefungus: Did you win?

Anonymous: We called a draw.

Malex: A draw?

Anonymous: Sure. You would too if you had been wrestling for over a month straight.

Snufflefungus: Even Ultra-Snuffy is impressed.

Malex: Yeah, seriously.

Anonymous: Anyway, this conflict is about to get pretty serious. Everything – even your friendships – will be tested to the max.

Malex: Really?

Anonymous: Yes. But you’re made of some pretty stern stuff when you set your mind to it, so you should be okay. Just do what you know is right and don’t back down. You’ll be fine.

Malex: Thanks. That uh, that helps. Although, can you tell me anything about the nature of the conflict?

Anonymous: Not really. Although I can tell you this: The mastermind behind this whole disaster is someone you know, but haven’t seen or heard from in a very long time.

Snufflefungus: I wonder who it could be?

~~ Scene change.

Mr. Eyebrows: Breakin’ out the good stuff tonight! Yeah!

Squeaky: Uh, Mr. Eyebrows sir? Are you sure you want to open that bottle of spirits? It’s from all the way back during the crusades!

Mr. Eyebrows: That’s the whole point! They’ve had time to age! We’ve got a lot to celebrate, so I’m gonna get drunk on souls!

Squeaky: Well, uh, if you’re sure.

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Alex Markley, Gabriel Markley, and Peter Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to suonho for use of the Burning Room sound effect.

Thanks to Codeine for use of the Door Closing sound effect.

Thanks to Codeine for use of the Door Opening sound effect.

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

NameSizeAction
Episode Audio3.47 MB Download Now - 3.47 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration194.6 KB Download Now - 194.6 KB View Now - Episode Illustration

Comments

Mariel 7's picture

Awesome episode

Malex: Uh yeah, yeah. He's great.

Snufflefungus: You sure?

Malex: Positive.

~~ Awkward silence.

Snufflefungus: So, have you noticed that we can talk in italics now?

Fear the power of the randomness!!!

Assistant: Thanks for coming! Come again soon!

Principal: You stupid moron person! Shut your stinking mouth!

Assistant: (door closed, muffled) Sorry...

Ok, that's just sooo FUNNY. The Assistant sounds like that one guy from Monsters Inc. :-P

Anonymous: Oh, you know, spiritual warfare and things. Actually, I'm here to warn you about the conflict you're about to enter.

Snufflefungus: Haven't we already entered it?

Anonymous: Oh sure. It's just about to get a lot worse.

Yeah that pretty much sums up their lives doesn't it X-D

Squeaky: Uh, Mr. Eyebrows sir? Are you sure you want to open that bottle of spirits? It's from all the way back during the crusades!

Yay, a 'Screwtape' reference; probably my favorite C.S. Lewis book of all time, and one of my favorite books in general. <3

-----------------------

She tried to object that this was stereotyping, but the instructor replied that stereotypes were stereotypes for a reason, so get that blonde wig on, missy.

-- Holly Short, "Artemis Fowl: the Lost Colony"

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Alex's picture

:-D

Glad you liked it! I was particularly happy with this episode - wonder if we'll be able to keep it up? :-P

ttyl

--Alex Markley

"Y'all live long and prosper, ya hear?"

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

-Poweful Paradise-

I got really confused during the episode. i might have to watch it again.

But it was good! I missed the voice of Linus though.

.::Duex Ex Machina!::.

Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.

- Christoph Jenkins

.::Duex Ex Machina!::.

Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.

- Christoph Jenkins

Alex's picture

Confusing, eh?

Well, there's always a risk of losing the audience when you do too much in audio. Listen again and follow along with the transcript. If you can find out what shook you off last time, email me and I won't make that same mistake again.

At least, I'll try to avoid it. ;)

ttyl

--Alex Markley

"Y'all live long and prosper, ya hear?"

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

-Dracula-

Ah, ok. it's all clear to me now. I guess i was just distracted with something the 1st time.

I'll refrain from saying that there was alot of plot in the episode. And obviously, there soon will be more! I like plot.

Wow, I'm bad at refraining.

.::Duex Ex Machina!::.

Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.

- Christoph Jenkins

.::Duex Ex Machina!::.

Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.

- Christoph Jenkins

Best yet!

Okay, this is surely the funniest episode yet.

Snufflefungus: So, have you noticed that we can talk in italics now?

That's so funny! And I just love the principal's Russian (?) accent.

And the picture is truly hilarious! That principal's face is disturbing. What's up with the odd trash sculpture and the artist's dummy wearing a tutu and carrying a rifle?

------------------------------

I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Peter's picture

*lol*

Easter eggs! :D

-------

The last thing I took too seriously was the fact that I had to stop taking unimportant things too seriously. :D

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

Ha!

Principal: That's exactly what I claim! And if you want to fight about it, I'll punch your head in until it's... Until it's... uh, um... Until it's not working right anymore!

This is soooo funny. That's all.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

- Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

- Proverbs 3:5-6

Hmmm

Well, everyone else has beat me to the punch with saying this is an awesome episode. So I'll just leave it at: I'm with them.

Snufflefungus: And Linus and Jeffrey have something to do with it.

Malex: Yeah, you're probably right.

Snufflefungus: 'Cause Linus wanted a robot body, so he's been dealing sheep to pay for it.

I'm beginning to think not...

Anonymous: I would have come talk to you sooner, but I just now quit brawling with some hot-shot demon.

This reminds me of Daniel 10:12-13 in the Bible, where Gabriel the Angel appears to Daniel and says, "Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words. But the Prince of Persia withstood me twenty-one days; and behold, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I had been left alone there with the kings of Persia."

And then later, in verse 20, he says, "And now I must return to fight with the prince of Persia"

Fascinating stuffs.

------------------------------

"From the great Gales of Ireland,

Are the men that God made mad,

For all their wars are merry,

And all their songs are sad." - G. K. Chesterton

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Lilly's picture

Looking at all the pictures

Is that a little Statue of Liberty in the trashcan? X-D

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Peter's picture

lol

Yup. :P

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy (Contradictionary - Party)

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