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Malex Minute 059
The Malex Minute
Submitted by Peter on Fri, 04/20/2007 - 12:00am
The plot thickens like a week-old milkshake! Malex and Linus discover the Screaming Portal of Sheepy Doom. What does the portal do? What does it all mean?! Find out by giving this episode a listen, and don’t forget to let us know what you think!
Malex's Thoughts
This episode is one in a classification which I consider to be among my favorites: Malex and Friends have a conversation with an individual whose sanity is very much in question.
Seriously, I never have more fun than when I’m writing and/or performing dialog for a character who is totally off his (or her) rocker. I have no illusions that such a task requires any sort of acting skill… Leastways not any skill you couldn’t find in abundance at a kindergarten class of any size.
Still, if I can’t claim any substantial victories in the realm of acting per-se, ain’t nobody gonna minimize the quality of my voices.
That’s right, if I can be remembered for anything after I die, I want it to be that I was able to spontaneously bust out a cartoon granny voice whenever the mood struck. (Rarely enough, thank God.)
Whether I’ll be remembered for any such thing or not, there’s no doubt that I love making funny voices.
If one thing inspired that love, it was probably watching Warner Brothers cartoons as a child. More specifically, marveling at the idea of a single man providing all the voices for such distinct characters. I’m referring, of course, to Mel Blanc, who singlehandedly brought to life many of the most beloved cartoon characters of all time.
And then, of course, died and left the industry in a shambles. (At least there was no way they were ever going to fire him.) (You can already see why he’s a role model of mine.)
Anyway, back to the voices… Who knows what good’ll ever come of them (I mean, voice acting? Come on!) but by golly I’m going to keep practicing!
ttyl!
——Alex Markley
Transcript
~~ Introduction
Malex: Hey everybody! Malex here, and I’m hosting the Malex Minute today. Previously, we heard that children were vanishing all over Ohioville, and Snufflefungus and I were called in by one distraught mother to investigate. Linus has been vanishing off and on, and Snuffy and I discovered Linus meeting with Jeffrey–
Linus: You can’t prove that.
Malex: Yes I can. Anyway, Linus and Jeffrey were meeting at a sheep farm which recently appeared in the middle of Centrally-Located Park. What they were meeting about I don’t know, but Linus sure has been up to something lately.
Linus: You can’t prove that either.
Malex: Anyway, now Snufflefungus has rushed off on some secret errand, and Linus and I have been left to investigate another new disturbance which I heard about by anonymous tip.
Linus: You and your anonymous tips. Surely there’s nothing here – we’re in the middle of nowhere! We’re so far out of town it’s not suitable for sustaining human life!
Malex: Oh be quiet. It’s just the woods.
Linus: (Shudders audibly.)
Malex: In theory, the disturbance is just over that rise there.
Crazy Woman: Hey!
Malex: Yes?
Crazy Woman: Hey!
Malex: Yes?
Crazy Woman: Hey!
Malex: Can I help you?
Crazy Woman: Hey!
Linus: (Fairly screams.) What do you want from us?!
Crazy Woman: Are you the Malex Brothers?
Malex: Yes.
Linus: No!
Malex: I meant no. I mean, I am Malex, but this… Laptop… is not my brother. Did you call us?
Crazy Woman: Yes.
Linus: Hey, I thought this was an anonymous tip!
Malex: Yeah, what gives? What was the point of being all secretive on the phone if you were going to just pop out and say, “Hi?”
Linus: Or, “Hey!” as the case may be.
Crazy Woman: Oh. Well, I didn’t mean to be secretive, I just never had a name. At least, I don’t remember having a name.
Linus: You got another winner here, Malex.
Crazy Woman: Come to think of it, I don’t even really remember being a child…
Linus: And we don’t just run into the odd two or seven… They flock to you! In droves!
Malex: Me? So it’s my fault now?
Crazy Woman: There, see?! (Dramatic.) That is the Screaming Portal… of Sheepy Doom!
Malex: What, that pulsating vortex? That is pretty weird, but it’s not screaming. I don’t even think I see how it’s sheepy or doomy.
Linus: It’s not. Let’s go home.
Crazy Woman: Just watch! You shall see!
Linus: We’re not going to see anything because there’s nothing to see!
Malex: Well I don’t know for sure, but this swirling vortex thing could be the key I’ve been looking for. It could be the clue that ties together the sheep with the missing children!
Linus: How do you figure that?
Crazy Woman: Because it’s Sheepy Doom. That’s more sheepy than the regular kind.
Linus: Oh, right. That makes perfect sense.
Malex: Hey, look over there! It looks like that sheep is leading those children up the path!
Children: We’re children! We’re children! We’re children! We’re–
~~ Screaming, stretching, vortex noise thing.
Crazy Woman: Hear that?! That was the screaming part.
Malex: Holy moley! They followed the sheep into that vortex!
Crazy Woman: I told you! It’s the Screaming Portal of Sheepy Doom!
Linus: You all saw it! Those kids totally chased that sheep into that portal! Poor sheep…
Malex: Do you want me to believe that that sheep had nothing whatever to do with those kids diving headlong into some unholy vortex of Sheepy Doom?
Linus: That would help me a lot, yes. The sheep have nothing to do with the children disappearing.
Malex: Right, and I’m Judy Garland.
~~ Snufflefungus flies in.
Snufflefungus: Hey citizens, need any help?
Linus: Not really, but Dorthy here needs a good knock on the noggin.
Malex: Snufflefungus, what are you doing here?
Snufflefungus: Shh! I’m not Snufflefungus! I’m Ultra-Snuffy! Ohioville’s new ultra-hero!
Linus: Don’t you mean ‘superhero?’
Snufflefungus: I’m going to have to explain that to everyone I meet, aren’t I?
Malex: So, Snufflefungus, er– I mean Ultra-Snuffy… What brings you all the way out here?
Snufflefungus: I was making my rounds above Ohioville, and I saw those poor children being lured off by that wily sheep! Right from their school, too!
Linus: Oh not you too…
Malex: Those sheep are dangerous! Come on Snuffy, we need to cut off those sheep sales at the source. To the school!
Snufflefungus: I’m right behind you Malex!
Linus: Well I’m not going! I’ve got better things to do than waste my time on wild goose chases! Guys?
Crazy Woman: You wanna do the Hokey Pokey?
Linus: No.
Crazy Woman: Spin yourself about?
Linus: No.
Crazy Woman: Are you sure?
Linus: Absolutely.
~~ End
Credits
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writers: Alex Markley, Gabriel Markley, and Peter Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers
Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley
Illustration: Peter Markley
Release manager: Peter Markley
Recording assistance: Leela
Thanks to Reinsamba for use of the Morning In The Forest sound effect.
Thanks to Percy Duke for use of the Balloon Inflation sound effect.
Thanks to everyone for their help and support. 
Media Downloads
| Name | Size | Action |
|---|---|---|
| Episode Audio | 3.06 MB |   |
| Episode Illustration | 356.32 KB |  |
| | | | |
Comments
So Laughing Out Loud!
I think this is one of your best episodes ever! I love the old crazy lady's voice! Esp. when she says "Sheepy Doom". And the line, "Because it's _Sheepy_ Doom. That's more sheepy than the regular kind." nearly floored me.
And the whole "We're children," thing ...
It's so creepy and funny. I have no idea why but it made me think of Gary Larson style children.
Also, the illustration. The best yet! It's pretty and it's funny. And it's really good quality.
------------------------------
"From the great Gales of Ireland,
Are the men that God made mad,
For all their wars are merry,
And all their songs are sad." - G. K. Chesterton
Everything looks perfect from far away.
Wrong again with my assumptions
Before I watched this episode. I thought the person Malex was talking to in the picture was a native american. I think it worked out better as a crazy lady though.
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
Yes...
Thank you, Aisling! I was quite satisfied with the way the special effects in the background there worked out.
And to Shaman... *lol* Yeah, they tell me I need more practice drawing women, because they always look weird...
-------
To decipher this top secret message, stream the two ASCII binary equivalents of "#I!`a$*A (Fb#! 8@" and "$DAD%#h! d/mI! *P" through a boolean OR operation, and convert back to text.
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
Thanks a lot!
Thanks a lot! That's really encouraging.
--Alex Markley
"Y'all live long and prosper, ya hear?"
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
-Krakatoa-
I really liked this episode...
Plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, PLOT!!!!!!!!!1
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
Whoa.
Alex, I can't believe that was your voice! Throughout the episode, I kept trying to figure out who was doing the old lady's voice, and I couldn't figure it out. When I read your thoughts on episode 59, and saw that YOU were the one who did her voice, I was completely flabberghasted! That's amazing. You have a unique, albeit quirky, talent
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
- Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
- Proverbs 3:5-6
Hehe
That's a good thing! If people can tell that I'm the one doing the voice for some random character, it completely ruins their ability to enjoy the episode.
--Alex Markley
"Y'all live long and prosper, ya hear?"
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
Quartz's drawing
I thought the person Malex was talking to in the picture was a native american.
I think it really looks like the gypsy character played by Chico Marx in Night At The Opera.
Before I watched this episode.
Watched the episode? I think you can probably take this as a high compliment, Malex.
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Impressive!
That's awesome! If you can create a mental picture vivid enough to remember as a visual show, that's amazing!!! Lol, it reminds me of when I watch really good Old Movies. I tend to remember them in color, even though I watched them in black-and-white. Or when I'm signing with someone. I always seem to remember us as "saying" things to one another--actually talking--even though no one ever said a word! Interesting...
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
- Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
- Proverbs 3:5-6
Memory
Maybe this is a function of memory storage. Do our brains lack enough compartments to store things in unique, specific compartments? Does all entertainment go into the Color Visual Entertainment bin and all conversations into the Auditory Conversations bin? Or is this a function of retrieval? Do we convert the stored information into an easily recognizable form as we retrieve it from whatever bin it's in? And in what form do the deaf recall their conversations?
Uh-oh. Now I'm getting dizzy. I'd better go look at some Splicky Missions for awhile.
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
*LOL*
I'm so happy that you like them so much...
On an unrelated note, I'm caught up with the comments on the site for the first time in perhaps weeks! I've really been so busy...
-------
To decipher this top secret message, stream the two ASCII binary equivalents of "#I!`a$*A (Fb#! 8@" and "$DAD%#h! d/mI! *P" through a boolean OR operation, and convert back to text.
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
-Fraudulent Grappling-
It doesn't seem that hard for me. But then again, i have quite a bit of time on my hands.
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
Yeah...
I think it depends on the person. I actually think in pictures/{video and audio} type information formats... All the time.
-------
The last thing I took too seriously was the fact that I had to stop taking unimportant things too seriously.
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
Neat Tidbit
Actually, Mrs. Oz, I've talked to some people who ought to know what they're talking about, and apparently Deaf people see little hands in their heads when they think. You know how we think in English, Spaniards think in Spanish, the French think in French, and Russians think in Russian? Well, Deaf people think in ASL! (At least, those who are deaf from early childhood, I think. I'm not sure about ppl who go deaf later in life). Pretty neat, huh? So, once I can think in ASL (i.e., once my thoughts come to me in the form of little hands in my head moving about), I will know that I have become a fluent signer! I hope it happens soon, but so far it feels a long way off
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
- Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
- Proverbs 3:5-6
Siu siu
A couple of words tend to come to me in Chinese, but only one or two. Once though, in attempting to learn a few phrases in Irish, I ended up mixing the phrase with Chinese and speaking Chirish!
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
-Kung Pow!-
I get to take a chinese class next year! I'm exited. I'm currently in a once a week begginers class. Ni hao! Ni jiao, shon me ming zu. Wo jiao Chris. Zai jien!
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
*lol* ...
***Quartz sits patiently and waits for a translation.
By the way, what's your avatar of this time? Sometimes images so small can be misinterpreted by the eye...
-------
The last thing I took too seriously was the fact that I had to stop taking unimportant things too seriously.
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
-But of course!-
I said the following:
Hi.
What's your name.
My name's Chris.
Bye.
My new avatar is a charcoal doodle I did about a month ago. I had scribbled sharpie diagonally, and took a charcoal stick and drew the outline. Then I did a random background, so all in all, it's a red blob with eyes and eyebrows, tied to something in three different directions, surrounded by bubbles.
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
Okay...
*lol* Somehow I expected ... a lot more significance, but that's alright!
*lol*
-------
The last thing I took too seriously was the fact that I had to stop taking unimportant things too seriously.
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
-Unimportant Umbrella-
Yeah... Alot of words for something so siple. You should see the actual Chinese symbols for it. The spelling is crazy, and wh you write it with our letters, there are a bunch of different accents you need to memorize.
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
Yeah...
Actually, I was mostly talking about the avatar, but whatever...
-------
The last thing I took too seriously was the fact that I had to stop taking unimportant things too seriously.
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
hehe
Chirish...lol, that's funny, Mrs. Oz
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
- Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
- Proverbs 3:5-6
Language Problems
I remember reading once that Gladys Aylward, when she got back to Britian, kept forgetting to speak in English.
(As a random note: she's my hero!)
------------------------------
"From the great Gales of Ireland,
Are the men that God made mad,
For all their wars are merry,
And all their songs are sad." - G. K. Chesterton
Everything looks perfect from far away.
Mandarin vs. Cantonese
The little Chinese I know is Cantonese. Most Mandarin speakers will indignantly reply that Cantonese is not Chinese. But if you want to understand any of those kung fu movies in the original language, Cantonese is the language you want.
I don't know how to ask one's name in Cantonese, but hello is: Leih houh! I don't know how to say' My name is..." but I can say, I am Sangming: Ngoh haih Sangming. And "goodbye" could be either, "Joi gin," or "Baai baai." Honest.
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
-Hickory Smokes-
Cantonese cuisine includes stewed monkey brains...
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
Umm...
Unless that's a meaningless tong-twister, I don't think it's correct... *lol*
-------
The last thing I took too seriously was the fact that I had to stop taking unimportant things too seriously.
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
Cantonese
I've heard it said about the people of Canton (Guang Dong) that they will eat anything that flies except an airplane and anything with four legs except a table.
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
-Fallout arena-
Okay, I don't actually have anything to support my claim, except a really funny movie. You really should watch Clue, based on the board game.
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
Oh...
*lol* Yes, I've seen that movie! That is hilarious, even though, as I recall, there was a little bit of off-color humor.
-------
The last thing I took too seriously was the fact that I had to stop taking unimportant things too seriously.
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
-Silent Walrus-
oh good! I loved it. Satire is probably my favorite form of comedy. But if you recall, the soup they eat is stewed monkey brains, which is supposedly Cantonese cuisine.
that's what I was thinking about.
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
.::Duex Ex Machina!::.
Almost All Annoying Artists Alternate Across Acting Atrociously , Authorizing Abominable Alliterations, And Administering Awful Antics.
- Christoph Jenkins
Hmm...
Yes... But actually, I thought you could have gotten it anywhere (including your own creativity), since it seems to be a rather wide-spread joke in western culture that older, more eastern countries often cook and eat unspeakable things. For instance, if I'm not mistaken, the same monkey brains joke was made about India in an Indiana Jones movie...
-------
The last thing I took too seriously was the fact that I had to stop taking unimportant things too seriously.
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
Well...
I watched a documentary about China one time in which they showed people eating crisp fried bats!
And I once sat down to a tureen of fish head soup with my Hong Kong friends. It was truly vile.
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Yes...
The joke is evidently based somewhat in fact, but it is nonetheless an exaggerated joke...
-------
The last thing I took too seriously was the fact that I had to stop taking unimportant things too seriously.
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party