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Malex Minute 054

Malex welcomes everyone who just discovered the Malex Minute. Snufflefungus earns kudos as a mad scientist by inventing something which solves world hunger. And Linus has to go “see a man about a sheep.” Hilarious! But don’t take our word for it, give it a listen yourself and let us know what you think!

Episode Audio

Malex's Thoughts

Macs, Mics, Madness, and an MR-8HD!

There have been times when a Malex Minute episode was late – even days late – and there wasn’t any good reason for it. One time, even though the episode had been prepared earlier in the week, I simply forgot to release it until Saturday afternoon.

How embarrassing! That is, it would have been embarrassing, but hardly anybody was listening, and waiting wasn’t a big problem. In short, it was an amateur mistake in an amateur production.

But now we’re supposed to be all big and professional for the shiny new website. MalexMinute.com needs to be behaving at its best for the curious new listeners!

And there are new listeners. In fact, we’ve been advertising for new listeners to come all week. And by the time you read this, our big new advertising campaign will have already started.

So, you see, it was important that Malex Minute 054 be released on time today.

The problem was, as of Thursday, we hadn’t finished much of anything. We still needed to finish producing the episode, we still needed to finish producing the episode’s illustration, and we still needed to finish our nice animated banner ad. Basically, we had a good, solid day’s work ahead of us.

And then the power went out at our home office. And in case you need me to elaborate on that: No power, no computers, no productivity, no Malex Minute 054.

(Why is it that things only go wrong when it will be profoundly embarrassing if they do?)

So, after an hour or so of powerlessness,* we packed up all our stuff (three macs, three mics, three madmen, and one MR-8HD) ** and drove off to the other side of town.

We invaded my dad’s office building – where he keeps a computer lab for his CS students – and set up shop as quickly as we could.

It was really quite insane, because not only did we need to make up for lost time, but we also needed to stay creative and funny in a totally alien environment.

But the results are astounding! Today’s episode is funny, the illustration is beautiful, the banner advertisement is stunning, and everything just worked out really well.

And to give you some idea how much work we actually did in our ‘temporary office…’ We arrived around noon on Thursday, and didn’t leave until 1 AM Friday.

Yeah, wow.

So anyway, I’m done talking now. Please enjoy the episode, send us some feedback, and (if you’re new here) bookmark MalexMinute.com! Things will continue getting better and better, so check back often!


——Alex Markley

* - “How apt!” says the swooning lady. “His word usage is so dreamy!”

** - Not a complete list.


~~ Introduction

Malex: Hey everybody! Malex here, and I’m hosting the Malex Minute today!

Snufflefungus: Don’t you host every time?

Malex: That’s right, Snufflefungus! Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night–

Snufflefungus: Nor power outages!

Malex: –will stay this host from the swift completion of his show!

Linus: Much to everyone’s dismay…

Malex: Shut up, Linus. By the way, a big hearty welcome to everyone who has clicked on one of our ads!

Linus: I’m so sorry you’re here. It’s not too late to find something interesting to do instead.

Malex: No, don’t leave! Don’t leave! At least finish listening to this episode, please!

Linus: Why bother? It won’t be funny.

Malex: Yes it will! Keep listening! And while you’re at it, listen to some of our older episodes too! We’ve been around for a year now, and we’ve even been funny most of the time!

Linus: We have?

Snufflefungus: Who are we talking to again?

Linus: It doesn’t matter anymore, Snuffy.

Malex: Of course it does!

Linus: Optimist.

Malex: What, is that an insult?

Linus: One of the best!

Snufflefungus: Can I change the subject?

Malex: Please do.

Snufflefungus: I invented a way to eliminate world hunger!

Linus: No you didn’t.

Snufflefungus: Yes I did!

Malex: I’m sure you did, Snuffy. Moving along, we got a fan email earlier this week that I’d like to answer on the air!

Linus: Wait, somebody actually listens to the show? I’m shocked.

Malex: It’s from Christoph in Anywhere, USA!

Snufflefungus: He didn’t give us a real location? What a shame!

Linus: Yeah people, if you’re going to email us, get it right.

Malex: Christoph says, “I have a question for your characters. What happened to the Stuffed Monkey Demon things?”

Linus: Are we characters?

Malex: Well Christoph, we last heard from Monkey Plushy’s Demon Horde in Malex Minute 025.

Linus: We discovered that we had the power to banish them, but only to specific places.

Malex: We really didn’t want anybody to have to deal with the full horror of the entire horde–

Snufflefungus: So we spread them around town!

Linus: The neighbors were really angry at us.

Snufflefungus: There were screams and sirens for days!

Malex: In retrospect, it was probably a very bad idea.

Linus: Anyway, Ohioville is now mildly haunted and the economy has collapsed.

Snufflefungus: I love economy. Especially on a hot dog!

Malex: Linus, you know it wasn’t necessarily our fault.

Linus: Sure it was! Everybody moved out!

Snufflefungus: Can we get back to my invention?! I want to show it off!

Malex: What does it do, Snuffy?

Snufflefungus: It eliminates world hunger!

Linus: And how exactly is it supposed to do that?

Snufflefungus: It converts raw energy into usable hot dogs!

Linus: Snufflefungus, you never cease to horrify me.

Malex: Snuffy, I just don’t think your invention is possible.

Snufflefungus: But it is possible! I’ll show you!

~~ Shred.

Linus: Oh my.

Malex: It… It’s a miracle!

Snufflefungus: Thank you, thank you. I’ll accept my prize now.

Linus: Your prize is… Slightly less ridicule! Enjoy it while it lasts.

Snufflefungus: Oh, I will.

Malex: Snuffy, I thought of a problem.

Snufflefungus: Yes?

Malex: Hot dogs are a really poor substitute for food. The starving nations would send them all back.

Snufflefungus: But if hot dogs are a poor substitute for food, why do we Americans eat them all the time?

Malex: Um, I actually don’t have a good answer to that question.

Linus: Oh hey, look at that Ladies and Gentlemen. It seems we’re out of time for this week!

Malex: Wait a second! You never close the episode! What are you doing?

Linus: Um, uh… I’m just in a little bit of a hurry.

Snufflefungus: What for, Linus?

Linus: I, uh, gotta go see a man about a sheep!

Malex: Okay then, I guess we’re done for today. Thanks for listening Ladies and Gentlemen, and we hope you’ll join us next week on the Malex Minute!

~~ End


Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Alex Markley and Gabriel Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to Digi Fish Music for use of the Paper Shredder sound effect.

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

Episode Audio2.56 MB Download Now - 2.56 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Episode Illustration174.04 KB Download Now - 174.04 KB View Now - Episode Illustration


Funny Despite The Circumstances

I think you are all mad. If nothing else, the ending proves it.


"From the great Gales of Ireland,

Are the men that God made mad,

For all their wars are merry,

And all their songs are sad." - G. K. Chesterton

Everything looks perfect from far away.

How cute!

Snuffy's solved world hunger. So that's what he's been up to in his mad scientist lab under the house. How cute! He looks so dangerous in his goggles. But what about the white lab coat?

Has anyone explained to Snuffy that energy is perhaps a bigger problem than food?


I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.


Y'all live long and prosper now, y'hear? - ending

Spock meets the Clampetts! @-D That is wrong on so many levels.

Shut up, you. -Linus

Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.

Mariel 7's picture

I wasn't gonna comment, but since you started it

*deep breath* ... AHHIGOMCSKLANAIIFJSIJRNKMDLFGSOINRO >:-( X-| :-(| 0_0 :-O @-D :-| :-? 0_0 :-(| (:) X-| |-) :-| >:-( X-| 0_0 :-(| @-D :-? X-| (:) :-O


I reject your reality and substitute my own!

-Adam Savage, Mythbusters

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Moving Right Along...

The snuff is quite impressive in those glasses. The gnome waits anxiously for the next installment, but, in case the linus did get a sheep...the fall-out shelter is being dug...the gnome thanks you for not sending any of the demon horde in my direction.

Shut up, you. -Linus

Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.

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