~~ Introduction

Malex: (Sounds sad.) Hey guys… Malex here…

Linus: What’s got into you?

Malex: Oh, I don’t know…

Snufflefungus: Malex, you sound sad!

Malex: No no! I’m not precisely sad… I just don’t feel very funny today.

Linus: Ladies and Gentlemen, if you didn’t think Malex was funny before, you’re in for a treat now!

Malex: Oh, shut up, laptop… Why don’t you go commit some heinous crime or something?

Linus: You’re too late, emoticon charlie. I try to limit myself to one a day!

Snufflefungus: But Malex, if you don’t feel very funny today, what will we do for the show?

Malex: What do you mean?

Snufflefungus: I mean, we’ve gotta find something funny to do!

Linus: When have we ever done anything funny? Have you guys been having fun without me?

Malex: Snuffy, I really don’t know what to do… Do you want to take the show today?

Snufflefungus: Why, what do you mean?

Linus: He means this is your big chance to reveal to the world what a dolt you are.

Malex: Don’t listen to Linus, Snuffy… He’s just a stupid laptop anyway. Why don’t you tell a joke or something?

Snufflefungus: A joke?

Linus: Oh, this is going to be good.

Snufflefungus: Let me see…

Linus: And I mean ‘good’ in the most negative sense possible.

Snufflefungus: Oh, I know! Knock, knock!

Malex: Who’s there?

Snufflefungus: I don’t know…

Malex: I don’t know who?

Snufflefungus: I really don’t know. I didn’t think past saying, “Knock, knock!”

Linus: That worked out better than I thought.

Malex: Oh hush, Linus.

Snufflefungus: Okay, here’s another one: So this guy walks into a bar–

Malex: Snuffy, there are children in the audience. Are you sure you want to be talking about bars?

Snufflefungus: It’s okay, it’s not the kind where people get drunk and beat each other up, this is like a metal bar.

Malex: A metal bar?

Snufflefungus: Yeah, like a pole.

Malex: Okay then…

Linus: Are you going to deliver the punchline any time today?

Snufflefungus: Well, the guy… You know, the one who walked into the bar?

Malex: Yeah?

Snufflefungus: He, um, said, “Ow.”

Malex: Oh, right.

Linus: Things can only go downhill from here, folks!

~~ Heavy knocking.

Police: This is the police! Open up!

Malex: The police?!

Police: We know Linus the Laptop is in there, and we have the place surrounded!

Linus: Oh no!

Snufflefungus: Linus, why do the police want you?

Malex: Yeah, Linus; what did you do?!

Linus: Hey, you told me to go commit a heinous crime!

Malex: Don’t give me that! I was being sarcastic, and besides you had already done whatever it is you did!

Police: (Heavy knocking.) Open up in there!

Malex: Well Ladies and Gentlemen, I guess we’re out of time for today! Hope you’ll join us again next week on the Malex Minute!

~~ End

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Aisling

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to everyone for their help and support.