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Malex Minute 046
Submitted by Peter on Fri, 01/19/2007 - 12:00am
Snufflefungus doesn’t believe in snow! Also, Little Red Riding Squirrel returns to haunt Malex and his friends.
Transcript
~~ Introduction
Malex: Hey all! Malex here, and I’m hosting the show today!
Snufflefungus: And what will we be talking about, Malex?
Linus: (Not excited.) Oh, tell us. Tell us.
Malex: Oh I don’t know, what do you think we should talk about?
Linus: I think we should talk about canceling the show.
Snufflefungus: I think we should talk about talking!
Malex: Linus, the show is fine the way it is!
Linus: Sure! Sure it is!
Malex: Snuffy, what do you mean by, “talk about talking?”
Snufflefungus: Kinda like what we’re doing now! Only more seriously!
Linus: How much more seriously can we talk about talking?
Snufflefungus: I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure it would involve predicate nominatives…
Malex: Guys, let’s try to avoid boring the audience to death with our inane chatter, shall we?
Linus: Too late! There goes one now!
Snufflefungus: Sorry guy! Or girl… I don’t know, I don’t want to offend anyone. Malex, is it a guy or a girl?
Malex: It doesn’t matter anymore, does it?
Linus: That’s the spirit!
Snufflefungus: So what can we do to make the show less boring?
Malex: Well, we could do recent events in the news!
Linus: Son, you need to go to thinkin’ school.
Malex: Wait, hold on; let me see what’s been going on in the world.
Snufflefungus: It hasn’t been snowing… You promised me snow.
Malex: What? I didn’t promise you snow.
Snufflefungus: You did! I wanted to know what winter was, and you said it would snow!
Malex: Ah, right. Um… Well, it obviously hasn’t.
Snufflefungus: Obviously.
Malex: Well, you know, maybe it’ll happen next year.
Linus: Poor, poor, optimistic fool.
Snufflefungus: Malex, I think you made it all up!
Malex: What?! I didn’t make up the idea of snow! Linus, come on. Back me up here…
Linus: You know, Snufflefungus, I did say this day would come. Poor guy is too overworked for his own good, and now he’s finally snapped.
Snufflefungus: Too true. Too true.
Malex: (Sarcastic.) Thanks a lot, Linus. Gosh. Snuffy, snow really does exist! It falls from the sky by the bucketloads, piling up so you can play in it or ski through it! It’s made just like rain is, except the colder weather causes the water to crystallize into unique, beautiful, and tiny little ice sculptures as it falls!
Snufflefungus: Linus, should we call the funny farm?
Linus: Sure, go ahead! It oughtta be good for a laugh.
Malex: Linus, I hate you.
Linus: Malex, your ears are pretty good… Do you hear what I hear?
Snufflefungus: What’s that?
Malex: Yup, Linus, as much as it pains me. I think I hear it too…
Snufflefungus: No seriously, what?
Little Red Riding Squirrel: It’s’a me! Little Red Riding Squirrel!
Linus: You’re not stealing my personality this time, you demon rodent!
Malex: Squirrel, why must you bring constant pain?
Little Red Riding Squirrel: What? Constant pain? Do I really bring constant pain?
Snufflefungus: Yeah, I’m sorry. I hate to admit it, being an optimistic little Snuffy, but you pretty much bring constant pain.
Little Red Riding Squirrel: Well thank you! I’m flattered!
Linus: Malex, I’ve been thinking… How does Little Red Riding Squirrel get through the deadbolts and the enhanced squirrel security?
Malex: I don’t know. I really don’t know… Little Red Riding Squirrel, please tell me that’s not baggage I see you carrying.
Little Red Riding Squirrel: Uh… Yes! It is!
Snufflefungus: (Terrified.) Why?!
Little Red Riding Squirrel: Because I’m on the run from the law!
Linus: So? That sounds like a good thing to me.
Little Red Riding Squirrel: Well, I needed someplace to run, so I’ve decided to live here!
Malex: Oh no you don’t!
Linus: Malex, do something! He can’t be here!
Little Red Riding Squirrel: Aw, you are all so good to me!
Malex: Little Red Riding Squirrel?
Little Red Riding Squirrel: Yes?
Malex: (Shouts, practically interrupts the previous line.) Get out!
Little Red Riding Squirrel: (Laughs.) That’s what I like about you peoples! You’re so hospitable!
Snufflefungus: I’m scared!
Malex: Ladies and Gentlemen, I think it’s time to end this episode. Hopefully the demon rodent will be gone by next week.
Little Red Riding Squirrel: (In the background.) No I won’t!
~~ End
Credits
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writer: Alex Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers
Post-processing director: Aisling
Release manager: Peter Markley
Recording assistance: Leela
Thanks to everyone for their help and support. 
Media Downloads
| Name | Size | Action |
|---|---|---|
| Episode Audio | 2.63 MB |   |
| Classic Malex Minute Illustration | 309.15 KB |  |
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© 2005-2010 by Malex Media Network, LLC. A part of the Malex Media Network®
Comments
ROTFL
Malex: Guys, let's try to avoid boring the audience to death with our inane chatter, shall we?
Linus: Too late! There goes one now!
Snufflefungus: Sorry guy! Or girl... I don't know, I don't want to offend anyone. Malex, is it a guy or a girl?
Malex: It doesn't matter anymore, does it?
How do you spell insensitivity? I spell it "Malex Minute."
lol
Yeah, what's a good sarcastic comedy without a healthy dose of insensitivity?
--Alex Markley
Why on Earth do we refer to the character ‘W’ as “Double-U” when it is clearly a “Double-V”? Seriously, people...
Alex Markley
“Aww, it's okay. Tell me all about it; I promise to listen like I care.”
No, really!
Snuffy, snow does exist. Honest! It looks like this:
'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`
'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`
'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`
'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`
------------------------------
Heaven:
Where Summer's sun never makes you sweat, and Winter never gets cold.
Where Autumn's leaves aren't really dead, and Spring never grows old.
Everything looks perfect from far away.
lol
Snufflefungus: hey, what are you doing in my closet?
Lrrs: oh, this is your closet?
Snufflefungus: yes, I sleep in there!
Lrrs: but I like it!
Snufflefungus: shoo!
Lrss: no!
Snufflefungus: Malex!!!
------------------------------
I thought i was lucid dreaming once, but it turned out i was awake.
------------------------------
I need a siggy...
Oh wait.
Awwwwwww, Poor Snuffy
First his room is overtaken by CD's and toy Snuffies that don't blink, now his closet is being haunted by an Italian demon-squirrel!!!!!
-----------------------
Fear of the Week:
Alektorophobia - the fear of chickens
We were fighting like MEN!!
~Angry Joe
Lol
I'm so glad you guys are enjoying it.
And I'm sure that Malex helped Snuffy out with the LRRS problem. 
We'll just have to wait until next week to see what happens with that whole situation.
ttyl
--Alex Markley
Why on Earth do we refer to the character ‘W’ as “Double-U” when it is clearly a “Double-V”? Seriously, people...
Alex Markley
“Aww, it's okay. Tell me all about it; I promise to listen like I care.”
AHHHHHHHHHH!
I have a solution to permenantly get rid of LLRS. Get Icepunk and Slushy, with guns. Oh and evacuate the building for awhile.
No more squirrel!
------------------------------
And where will I go from here?
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
LRRS
I HATE that squirrel.
Snufflefungus: It hasn't been snowing... You promised me snow.
Malex: What? I didn't promise you snow.
Snufflefungus: You did! I wanted to know what winter was, and you said it would snow!
Malex: Ah, right. Um... Well, it obviously hasn't.
Snufflefungus: Obviously.
Poor Snuffy! Did he get to see the snow today?
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Well...
Not if he was hiding from LRRS...
--Alex Markley
Why on Earth do we refer to the character ‘W’ as “Double-U” when it is clearly a “Double-V”? Seriously, people...
Alex Markley
“Aww, it's okay. Tell me all about it; I promise to listen like I care.”
quite the giggle
the gnome liked the 'predicate nominative' touch as well as the 'it doesn't matter'. The gnome's dog sat and cocked her little pug head the entire minute sound issued from the speaker...insanity must gallop through the markley brothers
Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.
giggle?
I suppose a giggle is better than nothing.
insanity must gallop through the markley brothers
Oh it does, gnome-person. It does.
--Alex Markley
Why on Earth do we refer to the character ‘W’ as “Double-U” when it is clearly a “Double-V”? Seriously, people...
Alex Markley
“Aww, it's okay. Tell me all about it; I promise to listen like I care.”
A tantrum
Poor Snuffy! Did he get to see the snow today?
Not if he was hiding from LRRS...
No! No! He did get to see the snow! He did! Say he did, Malex. Please!
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
your wish...
It would be tragic indeed should the snuffy not have seen the snow, but worse if the lrrs is not evicted with all due speed...it just can't come back to the gnome's woods. The squirrel has issues...
Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.
Ooo! Looky there!
Okay Snuffy, look! Look, Snuffy, look quick! There's snow, Snuffy. See? Real snow!
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Accent on the voice
the gnome does not recall an accent during previous conversations with the squirrel...the gnome thought there was a hint of transylvanian in there and the rodent is partial to red...the italian pasta fairy has been contacted and will be in touch with the malex and his friends in an effort to assist you with lrrs...may the fairy be helpful (but his pictures say otherwise)
Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.
Good idea
Maybe the Pasta Fairy has connections in the Italian government. Perhaps LRRS' visa has expired or he will be recalled to his own country of origin if the Italian Pasta Fairy would just quit dancing over his own culinary creations and pay attention!
Do you really know him, Gnome? Dag, that's horrible!
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Knowing
The gnome knows many things some horrible, some not so much, it is a blessing and a curse...the pasta fairy falls in the not-so-much a blessing category and the squirrel is in a category all by itself on a scale that has yet to be created because it is too awful to consider...the gnome misses bunny frou frou...
Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.
Why?
Where did Little Bunny Frou Frou go? Prison?
------------------------------
Heaven:
Where Summer's sun never makes you sweat, and Winter never gets cold.
Where Autumn's leaves aren't really dead, and Spring never grows old.
Everything looks perfect from far away.
Seeking
The gnome does not know where bunny frou frou went, his little tracks were lost at the stream, and, though the search was conducted for miles both up and down stream, there was no trace of the bunny. The gnome suspects the man with the tall, black hat may have had something to do with the bunny's disappearance, but that multi-colored kerchief landed over the gnomes eyes...
Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.
On the lam
For what crime was Little Bunny Frou Frou being sought, anyway?
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
lams
if the bunny was being sought for a crime, it would have been stealing lambs...
Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.
On the lam?!
You're all crazy!!
Bunnies don't ride lams! They ride purple porpoises!
--Alex Markley
Why on Earth do we refer to the character ‘W’ as “Double-U” when it is clearly a “Double-V”? Seriously, people...
Alex Markley
“Aww, it's okay. Tell me all about it; I promise to listen like I care.”
Appropriate conveyance
They ride lambs on the lam on land, but porpoises for propulsion in puddles.
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Book 'm.
Little Bunny Frou Frou is wanted for multiple counts of aggravated "bopping" with the intent of bodily harm.
------------------------------
Heaven:
Where Summer's sun never makes you sweat, and Winter never gets cold.
Where Autumn's leaves aren't really dead, and Spring never grows old.
Everything looks perfect from far away.
Career criminal!
Little Bunny Frou Frou is wanted for multiple counts of aggravated "bopping" with the intent of bodily harm.
His antisocial behavior has continued despite repeated warnings to desist. Let's get the cretin off the streets!
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
It's a Bunny
"bopping with intent to harm" - Aisling
"antisocial behavior...cretin off streets" Sangming
It was a mosh pit at a dance...everyone was bopping, the bunny just had style. It was a dance, he was being social and he is from the USA so he's not a cretin, probably has never been to Crete! The gnome is not even certain the bunny is a noun...and he's far from proper...
Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.
Obviously
The gnome is not even certain the bunny is a noun...and he's far from proper...
Well, his behavior is certainly improper.
There's nothing worse than a bopping bunny from Crete. Send him back where he came from. Oh. Oops. He's from the US? Well...send him back to Crete anyway. In a crate.
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.