~~ Introduction

Malex: Well everybody, here we are! According to all of the information we gathered, this is Snufflefungus’s home planet!

Echofly: Finally. I’m seriously ready to go home.

Snufflefungus: We can’t go home yet! We’ve got to free my race! We Snufflefungi are oppressed and enslaved here!

Linus: But Snuffy, we just came all the way out here to get your hopes up! We’re not actually planning to help you or your race.

Snufflefungus: But why?!

Malex: He’s kidding. We’re going to do our very best to free your race, Snuffy.

Linus: Malex, don’t you think the joke has gone on long enough?

Echofly: Linus, shut up.

Snufflefungus: So, Malex, what are we going to do?

Malex: I guess I hadn’t really thought about it before. We probably need to buy some guns or something… You know, I don’t think I’ve ever actually staged an uprising before!

Echofly: There’s a good way to inspire confidence in your leading abilities, Malex.

Linus: So, where are we supposed to get these guns, hmm? How are we even supposed to use them, seeing as only half of our little party has any hands?

Malex: Well there’s a place over there. Hey, I’ll run in and buy some stuff! I’ll be right back, so stay here okay?

Linus: Whatever.

Echofly: Just hurry.

Linus: We’re going to get ourselves killed here.

Echofly: So, Snuffy, how do you feel? Recognize any of this?

Snufflefungus: I remember that library over there from Anonymous’s visit, but I don’t know if I’ve ever actually been here.

Echofly: What do you remember about the library?

Snufflefungus: There are lots of Snuffies in there, enslaved!

Echofly: Oh my.

Linus: You know, I’ve noticed something odd.

Echofly: What’s that, Linus?

Linus: Well, this is a busy street, but nobody seems to be staring at us strangely or anything. In fact, they seem to not be noticing us at all.

Snufflefungus: So what?

Linus: Well, if you’re supposed to be a slave, I would expect to either see lots of Snuffies like you roaming about doing things, or I would expect people to be giving us dirty stares. Neither thing is true, so I’m a bit surprised.

Echofly: You know, you’re right. I’m not noticing any prejudice in people’s eyes at all.

Anonymous: It took you long enough to get here.

Echofly: (Startled.) Holy– Whoa! Who are you?!

Snufflefungus: That’s Mister Anonymous! He’s my friend!

Anonymous: Nice to meet you, Echofly.

Echofly: Anonymous? What kind of name is that?

Anonymous: A perfectly adequate one.

Linus: So, Anonymous, have you come to help us so we can finish this and get home?

Snufflefungus: Guys, I feel strangely drawn to the library, so I’m going to go there alone against all reason and sanity.

Malex: Hey guys! I’ve just returned with an incredible amount of weaponry!

Linus: Hey, you even found a lethal weapon that plugs into my USB port!

Anonymous: What could you possibly want with these weapons?

Echofly: I like this one.

Malex: We need to be able to protect ourselves and defend the Snuffies from their horrible captors!

Anonymous: Hmm. Well, if you insist.

Linus: I’m ready to rock and roll!

Echofly: You know, after almost a year of sarcasm and gloom, you getting excited about “rock and rolling” with a gun is either really appropriate or really not.

Linus: I think it’s really appropriate.

Malex: So, Mister Anonymous, any points on how to proceed?

Anonymous: Aside from going back to that gun store and returning everything you just bought?

Malex: Yeah. Besides that.

Anonymous: Go talk to the man in charge at the library. It’s a very important institution, and if you get him to release all of his Snufflefungi, everyone else on the planet will follow suite.

Linus: Woo! Let’s rock and roll!

Anonymous: Try not to do too much of either while you’ve got the safety off, okay?

Linus: Whatever you say.

Echofly: What should we say to the man in charge at the library, Mister Anonymous? Mister Anonymous? Hey, he’s gone!

Malex: Yeah, he does that.

Linus: Speaking of gone, where’s Snufflefungus?

Echofly: Oh no, he must have run off!

Malex: Well, the only logical explanation is that he’s been captured. Our best solution is to unwisely rush into the situation.

Echofly: Great! Lets!

~~ In the information area of the library.

Snufflefungus: Look at all the Snufflefunguses! They’re just like me! I wonder where my mommy and daddy are?

Information Guy: Hey, little guy! What are you doing all the way over here?

Snufflefungus: Uh, I, well…

Information Guy: How cute, it’s almost as if you’re trying to talk! Come on, let’s get you over there so you can get back to work.

~~ In the lobby of the library.

Malex: Hey everybody! We need to see the man in charge, pronto!

Linus: That’s right! We’re well-armed and we’re on a righteous crusade, so nobody better get in our way!

Echofly: I’ve been crammed in a spaceship with three guys for almost three months, so I’m seriously ready to pull one of these triggers!

Malex: Yeah, what she said! So where can we find the man in charge?!

Man in Charge: I’m the man in charge; can I help you?

Narrator: Don’t you just hate it when they say, “To be continued?” Join us next week to see what happens to Snufflefungus and friends!

~~ End

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers, with a guest appearance by Madame Librarian as Echofly.

Post-processing director: Aisling

Release manager: Alex Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to Walter Odington for use of the White Chapel sound effect.

Thanks to L.G. for use of the Office sound effect.

Thanks to Thanvannispen for use of the Woman Susanne Screams sound effect.

Thanks to everyone for their help and support.