~~ Introduction

Malex: Well, Linus, it’s a good thing your friend fueled us up, since we had to leave in such a hurry. We sure wouldn’t have made it very far.

Snufflefungus: It’s too bad. I’d like to thank him, but he exploded!

Linus: Yeah, getting a raw dose of my opinions tends to send people over the edge.

Echofly: Malex, there’s no coffee anywhere.

Malex: What?! I thought there was a whole bag left!

Echofly: So did I, but it’s gone now.

Linus: Don’t even look at me.

Snufflefungus: Sorry guys, I ate it.

Echofly: You ate it?

Malex: All of it?!

Snufflefungus: I was hungry!

Linus: Well at least it doesn’t seem to be affecting him too much…

Snufflefungus: I wasn’t able to sleep, but I did use the extra time to stack dust particles.

Malex: Oh my.

Echofly: Look, it’s like a little anthill in the corner!

Linus: Just nobody sneeze.

Malex: Well that does bring us to our new problem. We seem to be completely out of food.

Snufflefungus: I’m hungry again.

Echofly: Well, how much longer until we get where we’re going?

Malex: That’s going to depend on what all goes wrong between now and then.

Echofly: Thanks, mister negativity. I’ll file that with the rest of your supremely helpful responses.

Linus: He means between three weeks and never.

Echofly: Great. I don’t think I can fast that long.

Snufflefungus: Malex, is leather eat-able?

Malex: Snuffy, those are my shoes. I need my shoes.

Snufflefungus: (Wailing.) I just want to know if I can eat them or not!

Echofly: No, Snuffy, you can’t.

Malex: Look, the next stop is a planet with a McDoogle’s Hamburger Gateway. Let’s just eat there.

Echofly: McDoogle’s again? It’s so greasy there…

Malex: Well we can’t please everybody. Snuffy is hungry, and this is the closest thing to food for days.

Snufflefungus: I don’t care if it’s greasy! I like food!

Malex: And while we’re planet-side, we might be able to stock up on supplies.

~~ Scene change to McDoogle’s.

Employee: May I help you?

Snufflefungus: Yes! Oh, you can help me.

Employee: What would you like?

Snufflefungus: I would like a fat burger with cheese meal!

Employee: Would you like to obesity-size it?

Snufflefungus: Oh yes. Yes I would.

~~ Scene change to field.

Malex: Ah, you just have to love picking your own fruit. It feels like we’re really roughing it, you know?

Echofly: Picking it is fine, but eating it is another story… Are you sure these are even safe?

Malex: Of course they’re safe! They may look alien and horrifying on the outside, but on the inside they’re as harmless as an apple!

Echofly: Yeah? Well apple seeds are poison, so I don’t want to hear it.

Linus: Those horses have been looking at us the whole time.

Malex: So what? They’re just horses.

Linus: I don’t know… They just look ominous, I guess.

~~ Scene change to McDoogle’s.

Snufflefungus: I would like another fat burger, please!

Employee: Look kid, we’re runnin’ out of meat here! You can’t buy any more!

Snufflefungus: Aw, just one more… Please?!

Employee: Fine! One more, but that’s it!

~~ Scene change to field.

Malex: Well that’s probably enough fruit, don’t you think?

Echofly: That depends on how much of it is unpalatable or poisonous.

Malex: Thanks, miss negativity. I’ll file that–

Linus: Malex! The horses are surrounding us!

Malex: Well I’ll be. So they are!

Echofly: What’s wrong with their hooves?

Linus: Those aren’t hooves! They’re talons! Talons I say!

Malex: Aren’t talons only found on birds of prey?

Echofly: And Velociraptors!

Malex: You know what guys? I think we should run.

Echofly: Don’t forget the fruits!

Malex: Holy Hannah, did you see that one leap?!

Linus: Run! Run for your lives!

~~ Scene change to spaceship.

Snufflefungus: I like food! I like food so much!

Malex: Come on everybody, get inside! Get inside!

Echofly: You don’t have to tell me twice!

Linus: We’re alive!

Malex: Let’s just get out of here.

Echofly: I couldn’t agree more.

Malex: Well, we’re taking off now; what an escape! So, Snuffy… Did you bring us burgers for dinner?

Snufflefungus: No, sorry.

Echofly: What? Why not?!

Linus: You weren’t even the one being chased by carnivorous horses!

Snufflefungus: It wasn’t my fault! They were out of food!

Echofly: Imagine that…

~~ End

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writers: Alex Markley and Gabriel Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers, with a guest appearance by Madame Librarian as Echofly.

Post-processing director: Aisling

Release manager: Alex Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to D.C. Audio for use of the Ambiance Walla Fast Food sound effect.

Thanks to Dobroide for use of the Horse Snort sound effect.

Thanks to Dobroide for use of the Horse Snort 2 sound effect.

Thanks to Acclivity for use of the Neigh 1 sound effect.

Thanks to Dobroide for use of the Horse Neigh sound effect.

Thanks to Acclivity for use of the Neigh 3 sound effect.

Thanks to Acclivity for use of the Neigh 2 sound effect.

Thanks to everyone for their help and support.