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Malex Minute 031
Submitted by Alex on Fri, 10/06/2006 - 12:00am
Our heroes try desperately to cope with the complexities of space travel, while simultaneously trying to avoid killing one another during a sudden burst of space madness.
Transcript
~~ Introduction
Malex: Linus, will you pay attention?! You’re going to get us euchred again!
Linus: It wasn’t my idea to play this stupid game! I can’t even hold my own cards!
Snufflefungus: Echofly?
Linus: Quit showing your cards!
Malex: Linus, be nice!
Echofly: Snuffy, I’m not allowed to see what cards you have.
Snufflefungus: I know, but I don’t remember what card to play.
Malex: It’s not going to be the same every time, Snuffy…
Linus: Arrgh! This is our thirty-fifth game, and the legless rodent still can’t figure out how the game is played!
Echofly: Hey, you’re not doing so great yourself, mister “play the card second-to-your-right.”
Linus: Yeah? Well you just think you’re all high-and-mighty just because you have arms and legs! Let me tell you–
Malex: Hey! Can we refrain from the name-calling? My brain is getting ready to leap out of my head and kill itself in the cold black of space.
Snufflefungus: Really?
Linus: I would pay to see that.
Echofly: I know we’ve only been stuck here in this spaceship for a few weeks, but I’m already about ready to kill something too.
Linus: Oh? I’m having trouble picturing that. Are you even capable?
Echofly: Do you see this? It’s a purse.
Linus: So?
Echofly: Not only does it have seventeen things I could stab you to death with, but if I were to hit you with it you’d wake up yesterday!
Linus: (Lets that sink in.) Oh.
Malex: Hey guys, I hate to be the bearer of unfortunate tidings, but did we ever figure out where we were going?
Snufflefungus: To my home planet!
Malex: Right, but where is that?
Snufflefungus: Near my sun!
Linus: Malex, we’ve been over this. He doesn’t have a clue.
Echofly: Snuffy, can you remember where your sun is?
Snufflefungus: No… Wait! Yes! I remember! It’s somewhere in or near the galaxy!
Linus: See me getting better?! I didn’t even say anything mean this time!
Snufflefungus: Aw, Linus! You’re my best friend!
Linus: Ack! Are you trying to hug me?! Don’t pick me up! Keep your telekinesis to yourself!
Malex: Well, as I mentioned before, I think I set our course for the nearest inhabited planet, so we should be able to ask around there.
Echofly: You think?
Malex: Yes, I think. This stupid ship is still trying to communicate in some odd, alien language. So I think it’s set up right, but I can’t be sure.
Echofly: Linus, can’t you translate this language?
Linus: What do I look like, a computer? (Silence.) I can’t believe I just said that.
Malex: Well what do you know. Something must have rubbed off on him after all.
Linus: Shut up, human! Mortal!
Snufflefungus: I’m mortal too!
Linus: And anyway, no. I can’t translate it. I don’t even recognize this language. There are a lot of species in the galaxy. I know many of their languages, but nowhere near all of them. Besides, my only job was to patrol my network, so I wasn’t officially trained to do much more than that.
Malex: Cursing and network penetration. Sounds like every random script kiddie in the universe.
Linus: Hey!
Snufflefungus: Script kiddie. Informal, derogatory noun. A person who uses existing computer scripts or code to hack into computers, lacking the expertise to write their own.
Echofly: Thanks. I feel better now that I know that.
Snufflefungus: You’re welcome!
Malex: Man, if I’m reading any of this right, we’re still a week away from the next planet. Let’s see if we can squeeze any more speed out of this puppy.
~~ Alarm.
Echofly: Malex, what was that?
Malex: I don’t know yet.
Snufflefungus: I do! It’s an alarm!
Linus: And the fuzzball saves the day again.
Malex: Okay, I think I figured it out.
~~ Noise stops.
Linus: Hey, you fixed it!
Malex: Not really. I just made it stop.
Echofly: What’s the problem?
Malex: I don’t think the ship wants to accelerate any more.
Echofly: It doesn’t want us to accelerate? That sounds a bit far-fetched.
Linus: It’s not that far-fetched.
Malex: It’s a safety protocol. By default, it’s not allowed to use up any more fuel if it’s down to the amount we need to land.
Echofly: So we get there in a week, land, refuel, ask around and head back out again.
Linus: Assuming we don’t need to make a course correction.
Malex: And assuming there aren’t any complications in the landing procedure.
Snufflefungus: Sounds fun!
Echofly: Sounds potentially fatal.
Malex: But really, would you have it any other way?
Echofly: Yes.
Linus: I’d raise my hand in agreement, except I have no hand to raise.
Snufflefungus: That’s okay, you can borrow one of mine!
Linus: But you don’t have any hands either.
Snufflefungus: (Gasps.) I already lent them out, and Bob never returned them!
~~ End
Credits
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writer: Alex Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers, with a guest appearance by Madame Librarian as Echofly.
Post-processing director: Alex Markley
Release manager: Alex Markley
Recording assistance: Leela
Thanks to everyone for their help and support. 
Media Downloads
| Name | Size | Action |
|---|---|---|
| Episode Audio | 3.26 MB |   |
| Classic Malex Minute Illustration | 309.15 KB |  |
| | | | |
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Comments
Too true.
"Echofly: It's a purse...Not only does it have seventeen things I could stab you to death with, but if I were to hit you with it you'd wake up yesterday!"
Useful and yet fashionable doubles as deadly.
Girls fight dirty.
Awesome job guys (and girl). Another great episode.
------------------------------
"And tell Graham - tell him: see. ... Tell him to see. And tell Merrill to swing away." - Signs
Everything looks perfect from far away.
Thank you, thank you
*takes a bow*
--Alex Markley
What do you call a morbidly obese drug dealer? That's right! The Doughsbury Pill-Boy!
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
Poor Snuffy!
I'm in love with this episode. Snuffy is so cute. And I really like Linus' lines in this one.
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Thanks
I really felt like I've been letting poor Linus down in recent weeks, so I've been trying to make a concerted effort toward being truer to the characters overall.
ttyl
--Alex Markley
What do you call a morbidly obese drug dealer? That's right! The Doughsbury Pill-Boy!
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
Yay!
I really like this one. The card game was a stroke of genius.
The thing to remember George is that, monkey spit tastes very much like bananas.
God answers my prayers. He lifts me up. He gives me my breaths and refills my cup.
yeah...
too bad we didn't actually have time to play a game in real life...
and my purse got mentioned! a good time was had by all.....
Crap. I thought I had something really witty for a sig, but I was wrong. My stars and garters.
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
And we really almost died!
I still need to check my car over for hail dents. And I'll always be surprised that my windows didn't break...
--Alex Markley
What do you call a morbidly obese drug dealer? That's right! The Doughsbury Pill-Boy!
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
Purses Pwn: End of Story
"Echofly: It's a purse...Not only does it have seventeen things I could stab you to death with, but if I were to hit you with it you'd wake up yesterday!"
w00t for all purses across the world, and especially mine: The Mystical, Magical, Bottomless Bag of Wonders
*applause* yayness!!!
In a totally unrelated note: I changed my sig just for today
-----------------------
Fear of the Week:
Paraskavedekatriaphobia- Fear of Friday the 13th
P.S. For those of you have been reduced to a shivering lump of jelly by the 11 sylable word:
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!!
Lol
=) I love the adventure minutes!
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."- Doctor Who, Androids of tara (or something like that)
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
Magic Bag?
"The Mystical, Magical, Bottomless Bag of Wonders" -Mariel 7
Sounds a little like Feelix the Cat.
---------------------
"Bill Clinton thinks, therefore he is."
"It depends on what your definition of 'is' is."
Gaussian blur fixes everything!
Its not just bottomless and magical
Its also her battery. She always wears it because she is really a robot and her purse is her battery
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."- Doctor Who, Androids of tara (or something like that)
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
Now, now...
You wouldn't want Larryboy to have to get rid of another Rumor Weed, now would you?
---------------------
"Bill Clinton thinks, therefore he is."
"It depends on what your definition of 'is' is."
Gaussian blur fixes everything!
oh please
she's been going on about that for over a YEAR
Oh well, I'm used to it by now. It all branches from the facts that I like my purse alot and it has all my stuff in it, so I never take it off, like EVER! Also, I get straight A's so Lilly believes that I am, in fact a robot
!
-----------------------
Fear of the Week:
Cnidophobia- Fear of string
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!!
PURSE!
hah! I loved that line....
I have a purse roughly the size of a suitcase that will hold two books, a wallet, cell phone, pens, makeup, etc....
basically, everything I need to survive.
long live the purse!
Crap. I thought I had something really witty for a sig, but I was wrong. My stars and garters.
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
extreme weather
I think I just bring bad weather...
sorry about that, mates...
Crap. I thought I had something really witty for a sig, but I was wrong. My stars and garters.
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
...???
*Ahem* How do you play Yuker?
----------
落 天使
"I was in a bizarre state of mind: The state of mind that
only a coder can understand - where the world around you fades, and the ordered, perfect logic of the computer
becomes your reality."
^-mAlex
----------
落 天使
.
Euchre.
--Alex Markley
What do you call a morbidly obese drug dealer? That's right! The Doughsbury Pill-Boy!
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
WOOO!
Along with all my stuff i can fit my head inside my purse (not like i do that very often though) And now sometimes that space is taken up somewhat by the pretty doll Ais gave me yesterday for my birthday!!!!!!!
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."- Doctor Who, Androids of tara (or something like that)
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
What?
You mean to tell me you put things you use in there?
From how many times i've been hit with purses I started to think they were full of cement. 
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
wow...
what... kind of freaky stalker are you that girls hit you with purses? that's a bit disturbing...
Crap. I thought I had something really witty for a sig, but I was wrong. My stars and garters.
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
*Hint* *Hint*
Maybe you shouldn't band with him after all...
---------------------
"Bill Clinton thinks, therefore he is."
"It depends on what your definition of 'is' is."
Gaussian blur fixes everything!
YAYNESS
and now that space is taken up by the pretty doll ... Lilly
... and your ocarina, LoTR book of the day, Bible, writing notebook, and homework
-----------------------
Fear of the Week:
Cnidophobia- Fear of string
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!!
*gasp*
So thats what the Shaman does with his free time!
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."- Doctor Who, Androids of tara (or something like that)
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
No Stalky
I don't stalk. I'm totally against it. Usually I just find ways of upsetting people. sometimes on accident sometimes on purpose.
Hmm my dad is yelling sounds like my shaving cream bomb went off.
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
...
Ok, now we really know what he does in his free time. (i was just kidding bout you stalking people)
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."- Doctor Who, Androids of tara (or something like that)
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
Ditto.
I was just trying to get the Buckeye fans away from me... Sheesh, those guys are emphatic.
---------------------
"Bill Clinton thinks, therefore he is."
"It depends on what your definition of 'is' is."
Gaussian blur fixes everything!
hee hee
it's okay Shaman... we still like you!
Crap. I thought I had something really witty for a sig, but I was wrong. My stars and garters.
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
STALKING...
No comment...
----------
落 天使
"I was in a bizarre state of mind: The state of mind that
only a coder can understand - where the world around you fades, and the ordered, perfect logic of the computer
becomes your reality."
^-mAlex
----------
落 天使
An easy game
Euchre is my family game. It's lots easier than pinochle or bridge. Only 24 cards in the deck. It's a little confusing to learn, but no bidding or anything. My biggest gripe is that only 4 people can play.
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
But, but,...
That was a comment right there. If you didn't have anything to say, why did you get everyone's hopes up?
---------------------
"Bill Clinton thinks, therefore he is."
"It depends on what your definition of 'is' is."
Gaussian blur fixes everything!
....
Stalking/harrassing is an area of which i made known that i had something to say; but did not say it. like you said; i got everyones hopes up.
----------
落 天使
"I was in a bizarre state of mind: The state of mind that
only a coder can understand - where the world around you fades, and the ordered, perfect logic of the computer
becomes your reality."
^-mAlex
----------
落 天使
oh, yes.... *twitch*... euchre!!
you've never played euchre until you've played Thistledown Rules. kitty, steal the deal, partner's best, stick the dealer.
aahhh... those were the days.
I know people [including me] who carry around a deck of cards, just in case a game should break out...
Crap. I thought I had something really witty for a sig, but I was wrong. My stars and garters.
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
Carry only 1 deck
I can't remember the last time I only had one deck of cards on me. Lol Hm since there are so many euchre players here we migt want to have a few games some time soon.
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
Lol!
Let's play over the internet! I deal. Hearts is trump. Oh and I'll go it alone. Ooo, lookie. I have all the highest trump cards. I win!
------------------------------
"And tell Graham - tell him: see. ... Tell him to see. And tell Merrill to swing away." - Signs
Everything looks perfect from far away.
Okay!
I'm your partner!
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Not so Fast
Well you got your team member I wonder who's mine.
Oh and I thought went went over this already. Never play cards with a Magician. *Lays down 5 right bars*
You've been euchred and don't even call me on cheating you didn't wait for anyone to pass or offer a cut. 
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
ha ha!
I'm Shaman's partner!!
seriously, a bunch of us should show up @ the Pataskala library for the game night
I think it's this saturday night... will find out. We'll play euchre and laugh and eat and play euchre and laugh, what fun we'll have!
Crap. I thought I had something really witty for a sig, but I was wrong. My stars and garters.
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
I'm in
That sounds like a great time get me details and I should be in.
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
time
Give me a time and a place, and i might actually show up!
Seriously, if I can find the time, I'd go.
--Alex Markley
What do you call a morbidly obese drug dealer? That's right! The Doughsbury Pill-Boy!
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
w00t
Sounds good to me!
------------------------------
"And tell Graham - tell him: see. ... Tell him to see. And tell Merrill to swing away." - Signs
Everything looks perfect from far away.
oh, marvelous....
if it is this Saturday, I can't come. gotta go see a friend of mine in a play. so I'll get info for you guys and hope I can come...
Crap. I thought I had something really witty for a sig, but I was wrong. My stars and garters.
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
when you say night...
you really mean night right? If so I can go.
The thing to remember George is that, monkey spit tastes very much like bananas.
God answers my prayers. He lifts me up. He gives me my breaths and refills my cup.
yeah
it's something like 6 or 7ish. I'll find out for sure tonight and get back to you...
Crap. I thought I had something really witty for a sig, but I was wrong. My stars and garters.
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
Game Night
The Pataskal public library will be having its euchre and game night on Sat. the 14th. 7:00 - 10:00 pm. Pizza and pop will be there, but I don't know if there's a charge for it.
Their # is 740-927-9986. They're at 101 Vine Street in beautiful downtown Pataskala.
Gee, maybe I'll go.
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
oh, crud
I can't come!! oh, man....
Crap. I thought I had something really witty for a sig, but I was wrong. My stars and garters.
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
Now wait.
Okay, can you come or not? Okay. This one is most recent, so I guess not. Rats. Anyone else able to come?
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
a tip...
if you meet a short, skinny librarian named Cathy, tell her you know me.
Crap. I thought I had something really witty for a sig, but I was wrong. My stars and garters.
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
Why?
tell her you know me.
Will she give us free pizza?
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.