 |  |  |  |  |
Malex Minute 029
Submitted by Alex on Fri, 09/22/2006 - 12:00am
Malex’s house floods. (What with all of the stuff going on recently, who is honestly surprised that this week’s episode is the way it is? If you want more information, you’ll have to read it for yourself.)
Transcript
Malex: Quick! Somebody plug that up! Get a towel! Do something!
Linus: (Screaming a lot.) I’m a laptop! I’m a floating laptop! And I’m wet! I’m a laptop, and I’m wet!
Snufflefungus: Hi, everybody! Welcome to the Malex Minute! I’m the Snufflefungus, and I’m hosting the show while Malex tries to fix his house. It’s flooding right now, so he’s very busy. In fact, it’s flooding so badly that I am standing on the table just to stay above water! I don’t know how long that will last though… The water is still rising… Uh oh, I think I’d better get out of here.
Malex: Bullets don’t stop it! Run for your lives!
~~ End
Echofly: What happened to your house?!
Credits
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writer: Alex Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers, with a guest appearance by Madame Librarian as Echofly.
Post-processing director: Alex Markley
Release manager: Alex Markley
Thanks to Iktinus for use of the Waterfall sound effect.
Thanks to everyone for their help and support. 
Media Downloads
| Name | Size | Action |
|---|---|---|
| Episode Audio | 607.24 KB |   |
| Classic Malex Minute Illustration | 309.15 KB |  |
| | | | |
Like what you see? Follow us! 
© 2005-2010 by Malex Media Network, LLC. A part of the Malex Media Network®
Comments
Brief but to the point.
I like this one. It might be only a minute long but it's funny. And I really like Linus' bit. I'm just glad the minute didn't get completely canceled.
------------------------------
"And tell Graham - tell him: see. ... Tell him to see. And tell Merrill to swing away." - Signs
Everything looks perfect from far away.
Yeah...
But why'd you leave out the intro? Comedic effect?
It's fine, though.
---------------------
Sing to Him, and you'll have all of creation singing with you.
Gaussian blur fixes everything!
MADNESS
I really love this minute. Linus is wet and hysterical. Snuffy is just wonderful, as always. And Malex sounds as if he's had enough. Poor Malex.
This episode reminds me of Henry's Awful Mistake by Robert Quackenbush. It's a children's picture book, but if you've never read it, you should. It's hilarious.
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Well
"But why'd you leave out the intro? Comedic effect?"
Yes.
I thought it would be funnier that way.
--Alex Markley
What do you call a morbidly obese drug dealer? That's right! The Doughsbury Pill-Boy!
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
Poor Linus
A wet Snuffy and Malex isn't so bad. A wet laptop is like BOOM. No more Linus.
But Snuffy is so cute.
And i hafta tell everyone about this picture Mariel7 drew. Its Snuffy with a backwards baseball cap and a turntable. Above it she put "DJ Snuff"
lol
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."-Doctor Who, Androids of Tara
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
BAD LILLY!!!!!
I told you not to tell anyone
You are so dead come Monday 
-----------------------
*insert witty sig here*
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!!
Amazing!
DJ Snuf? That's hilarious!
I love it.
--Alex Markley
What do you call a morbidly obese drug dealer? That's right! The Doughsbury Pill-Boy!
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
Hmm
I know wet dog smells bad wet about wet snuffy
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
No, see...
Dogs smell bad anyway. Them being wet just accents it, or boosts it. This is why I don't like dogs. They're dirty and slimey, too, and to top it all off, they're friendly anough to share it with you.
Snuffy, on the other hand, is sentient, and dignified. He keeps himself clean.
---------------------
Sing to Him, and you'll have all of creation singing with you.
Gaussian blur fixes everything!
huh?
Snuffy's dignified?really. I had not noticed that.
dogs are amazing! I love dogs!!!
Crap. I thought I had something really witty for a sig, but I was wrong. My stars and garters.
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
Lighten up, Mariel
Please don't be mad at Lilly. I really want to see the picture.
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
I know
...and I'd never actually hurt Lilly.
The thing about "be dead come Monday" was continued from school (though I don't remember what we were talking about) and doesn't translate very well.
Also, if I had a scanner (and drawing skills of any type
) I would post the picture; it's pretty funny (if badly drawn; I was on a LOT of CHOCOLATE at the time so that only made it worse) 
-----------------------
Note to self: create witty sig
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!!
I LOVE SNUFFY!
He's SO sweet!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Come now children what's wrong? You should be panting with delight!
"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."
-Exodus 14:14
Note from self:
Witty sig created
-----------------------
Fear of the Week:
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!!
I know your not mad
Thats why i wrote about it.
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."- Doctor Who, Androids of tara (or something like that)
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
Wow
Hey Lilly, your new avatar looks really nice. I wish I could see a bigger picture of it. That girl is decent, isn't she?
Where are my glasses?
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
I love this picture!
Its by John William Waterhouse. He was a painter in the victorian age. Its a siren holding a harp looking down at a sailor. She's um... not really. I'll show you a bigger one sometime. Its really pretty. One of his other paintings was the inspiration for the painting i gave to Aisling. This is my favorite of his paintings but...if you dont think its ok i'll put my other favorite up.
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."- Doctor Who, Androids of tara (or something like that)
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
Content
I suspect that very few people would be directly offended by your avatar - especially as small as it is.
However, if the original material contains nudity of any kind, it does violate our content guidelines.
--Alex Markley
What do you call a morbidly obese drug dealer? That's right! The Doughsbury Pill-Boy!
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
...
Ohh.. I have a big version of it here.
There is a conveinantly (i spelled that wrong...) placed flower
------------------------------
Processing data as 0's and 1's, forced impulse, trained behavior, reduced to a number...
This is... m3ch@n1c 3n51av3m3n7.
------------------------------
Gone
Well...
It's not specifically "nudity", but I would personally prefer for the avatar to be changed.
--Alex Markley
What do you call a morbidly obese drug dealer? That's right! The Doughsbury Pill-Boy!
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
ok
sorry.
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."- Doctor Who, Androids of tara (or something like that)
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
technology hates me
I tried to change it. But my computer hates me. Instead of letting me change the picture it opened my documents. Those are not pictures.
So thanks to the delete picture button i just got rid of it. But i am now pictureless. 
Again
Actually, nevermind. I found a loophole to its evilness
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."- Doctor Who, Androids of tara (or something like that)
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
Waterhouse
I googled him and found that your curtrent avatar is called "The Lady of Shalott." Why do I think of Anne of Green Gables?
I went to GFG's link and saw the bigger picture of The Siren. I'm glad you got rid of it. It wasn't even the near nudity that bothered me so much as the horror on the face of the young man who had been lured by the siren. I thought it was a disturbing picture when I saw it closely. I mean she was so pretty, and he was so handsome, but she just looked so satisfied and he looked horrified! But I guess that was kind of the point of the story of sirens, right?
I like your new avatar a lot better.
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
oh
Thats my favorite painting of his. I didnt think that guy was handsome
BUt i do think she is pretty. I kind of... i dont know. I really like the look on her face... I dont know why. Now that you mention it he does look horrified... but i still really like it. I guess its cuz im a mermaid 
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."- Doctor Who, Androids of tara (or something like that)
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
Hey, Lilly?
Mermaid ≠ Siren
------------------------------
"And tell Graham - tell him: see. ... Tell him to see. And tell Merrill to swing away." - Signs
Everything looks perfect from far away.
I guess...
It's just one of those things that is so bizarrely fascinating that you love it!
Like "Chasing Vermeer", a really good book, but so plain creepy (in the bizarre not bad way)
-----------------------
Fear of the Week:
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!!
well
in sailing legends, mermaids actually sang to sailors and made them jump over the sides [at least I'm pretty sure]
so mermaid = siren
Crap. I thought I had something really witty for a sig, but I was wrong. My stars and garters.
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
I think the difference is
That i have seen pictures of Sirens with wings too. Only some though, One painting i saw the sirens were huge black birds with women's heads. So mermaid, ais' symbol thing, siren.
Mermaids made sailors jump overboard and crash on the rocks. I'm pretty sure sirens did both too. But im not an expert on sirens, being a mermaid
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."- Doctor Who, Androids of tara (or something like that)
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
Interjections
Also, aren't mermaids supposed to have, like, tails instead of legs? But I don't know what I'm talking about and proud of it, so if I'm wrong, please don't mind.
"So mermaid, ais' symbol thing, siren." -Lilly
Umm... I believe the keyboard shortcut for mostly all Windows platforms is <ctrl>+<'c'>, <ctrl>+<'v'>.
---------------------
"Bill Clinton thinks, therefore he is."
"It depends on what your definition of 'is' is."
Gaussian blur fixes everything!
Mythical Creatures
I think that you're thinking of harpies, not sirens. Mermaids lure sailors but (at least from what I've read) it's more their fault; the sailors see pretty, almost naked women, jump in, and drown.
-----------------------
Fear of the Week:
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!!
More on myth
the sailors see pretty, almost naked women, jump in, and drown.
Serves 'em right, the scurvy scum!
Harpies were bird things that had some attributes of human females. But they were monsters. Sirens, which were also represented as birds sometimes would sing to sailors as they passed by their island, and lure them to their death on the rocks. There seems to be some confusion between sirens, harpies and mermaids.
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
ya...
Mermaids do have tails. My explination for my books n' stuff is that the scales and fin can slide back into their legs so its possible for them to look human. Sirens i know practically nothing about and i've never heard of harpies. Mermaids rock!
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."- Doctor Who, Androids of tara (or something like that)
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
I thought...
Sirens were part snake, not part bird
On a side note (for Lilly):
Harpies - See also "Lilith"
-----------------------
Fear of the Week:
Geniophobia- Fear of chins
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!!
see also also,
when you have lots of time to listen to him, The history teacher!
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."- Doctor Who, Androids of tara (or something like that)
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
Historititis
make sure you are able to dedicate at least 23 hours a day to listening to the History teacher
-----------------------
Fear of the Week:
Geniophobia- Fear of chins
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!!
wow
and here we thought Ariel had to trade her voice to Ursula for legs!
dang, she got gypped. she could grow legs all along and sing! that's more talent than a lot of people have...
Crap. I thought I had something really witty for a sig, but I was wrong. My stars and garters.
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
But if...
...the scales slide inside the legs, wouldn't the tail have to be separated somehow? Or else it would all slide into one leg, and she'd be lopsided. And would it detach from her waist?
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Harpies,Sirens,and Mermaids
Harpies are of Greek Mythology in origin. They were messengers of Hades and used their talons to kill and pilfer souls. About their appearance there is a little disagreement but the traditional writings portray them as having the heads of woman and the bodies of birds. But the bird body is like a crow or vulture and the Harpies themselves are big enough to carry a human.
Sirens are also of Greek Mythology. While, at first, they appear similiar, also having the head of a woman and the body of a bird, they are very different from the Harpies. Their bodies are the bodies of songbirds, traditionally sparrows, to go along with the idea of their beautiful voices. And, as ledgend says, they were the playmates of the daughter of a goddess and were cursed to take the forms they are now when they didn't protect the goddesses daughter from being kidnapped. Sirens, unlike Harpies who were witch-like, were usually portrayed as mournful.
Mermaid ledgends have no origin; they can be found throughout all cultures and in varying forms. Some culture do portray mermaids as malevolent creatures who try to sing people to their dooms but this is a small portion of the ledgends and somewhat disregarded. Instead, it is usually said that mermaids simply enjoying singing and that saliors occasionally saw them basking in the sun while singing and combing their hair. This sight was actually considered, by sailors, as good luck.
The main confusion between mermaids and Sirens seems to be caused by the more modern tellings of Sirens that eliminate the bird body so as to make them as physically alluring as their voices. But, as a recap, Sirens are malevolent creatures with songbird bodies whereas mermaids as benevolent creatures with the tail of a fish.
------------------------------
"And tell Graham - tell him: see. ... Tell him to see. And tell Merrill to swing away." - Signs
Everything looks perfect from far away.
wow
you write like no one else I know, Aisling...
Crap. I thought I had something really witty for a sig, but I was wrong. My stars and garters.
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
Answer.
but if the scales slide inside the legs, wouldn't the tail have to be separated somehow? Or else it would all slide into one leg, and she'd be lopsided. And would it detach from her waist- Sm
The scales are very thin. Where they come together they would just overlap and hold tight together untill she decided to switch back to legs (would have to be out of water to do this or water would get inside legs) Then the scales would go back into little "pockets" running up and down the inside of her legs these close with something that looks like scars running from the bottom of her feet up to her waist.
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."- Doctor Who, Androids of tara (or something like that)
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
I see
The scales are very thin. Where they come together...
This explanation makes my legs feel antsy.
------------------------------
I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Not me!
It makes me want to swim!
------------------------------
"Would you mind not standing on my chest, my hat's on fire."- Doctor Who, Androids of tara (or something like that)
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo