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Malex Minute 018

Malex, having escaped the horrors of Jeffrey’s alternate reality, comes home to discover that Linus and Snufflefungus have returned from their harrowing shopping trip. In a valiant attempt to return things to normal, our heroes try to interview the lead animator from the Malex Media Network’s cartoon project. (Listen now for an ending which will shock and amaze you!)

Episode Audio

Transcript

~~ Introduction

Malex: Hey everybody! Malex here, and I’ve just gotten back from Jeffrey’s horrible alternate reality. The Big Men With Clubs are forever trapped in said alternate reality, or so we hope. And, amazingly enough, Linus and Snufflefungus are back from their two-week grocery shopping trip! What did you bring back, guys?

Snufflefungus: Did we say grocery shopping? We meant vacation!

Linus: What he means is that we got lost coming home, and had to eat all of the rations just to survive!

Malex: But you don’t eat anything except electricity.

Linus: What are you implying?

Malex: Not much, apparently.

Snufflefungus: We got lost at a beach! It was so much fun!

Malex: Um… Right. Anyway, Ladies and Gentlemen, we’ve got a very special guest star today!

Snufflefungus: We do?

Linus: Good grief… When will this end?

Malex: You remember the cartoon we were talking about in Malex Minute Eight? Today, we’ll be talking to Quartz, the graphic designer and overall cool guy who is designing our characters and animating the cartoon!

Quartz: The most generic salutation seems appropriate here: hello.

Snufflefungus: Hey, you look awfully familiar…

Linus: Hmm. Well, he looks sturdier than the average moron that finds its way on our show.

Malex: Now now, don’t say things like that… Anyway, Quartz, what got you interested in graphic design?

Quartz: Well, most basically it was how easily it came to me and how much I loved it. Is your question very different from, “Why do you love it?”

Snufflefungus: Okay, I don’t think I know you.

Linus: Malex, where did you get this guy?

Malex: Um… Actually, Quartz, I was looking for a specific event or moment that really revealed your love of graphic design.

Quartz: Well, I’m sorry. There really isn’t one. I’ve loved drawing all my life, and computer graphics just seemed to be an extension of that for me.

Linus: You wouldn’t happen to be somewhat responsible for that horrible “Malex Media Network logo” animation, would you?

Quartz: Actually, yeah, I was involved.

Linus: ’Cause it was really bad. Like, “Oh look, my brain is fleeing my skull,” bad.

Snufflefungus: But you don’t have a brain!

Malex: Linus, since when do we have a policy of verbally attacking the interviewee?

Linus: Since forever, actually.

Snufflefungus: You don’t even have a skull for your brain to flee from!

Malex: Anyway, what can you tell us about the work you’re doing for this new cartoon?

Quartz: Well, right now we’re doing character and set sketches, but we’re nearing completion of those. Next we’ll be doing storyboards, which we’ll use to create an animatic.

Malex: And what precisely is an animatic?

Quartz: It’s where we – in this case, me – string the storyboards together over a scratch audio track, so the production crew can get a feeling for how that final animation will flow. It makes things easier.

Linus: Pathetic human! Doing a pre-animation animation? Can you get more preliminary than that?

Quartz: I don’t know, but if we need any ideas, we’ll be sure to come to you.

Snufflefungus: I think you lost me around the storyboard part… Can we go over that again?

Malex: So, can you tell us anything about the story of the cartoon?

Quartz: Not really. Hope that doesn’t ruin your day.

Snufflefungus: Well my day is ruined.

Linus: Score!

Malex: Linus, you know, I’m starting to think you’re due for a serious software upgrade.

Linus: Oh yeah? Just try it, geek boy!

Quartz: Are things always this insane around here?

Snufflefungus: Yeah.

Linus: Come on! What are you afraid of?

Malex: So Quartz, how are the character designs coming? Are you starting to really feel the characters?

Quartz: Oh yeah, all of the characters are really starting to materialize. Some of them are even starting to feel alive; especially Jack and Mulberry.

Linus: Ah-ha! You just revealed that it’s a Jack the Extroverted Teddy Bear cartoon!

Snufflefungus: I love Jack the Extroverted Teddy Bear!

Quartz: Uh, I meant something totally different! Like… Guy and His Sidekick: Foo.

Snufflefungus: I love that show too!

Malex: You hear that guys? The upcoming cartoon is about Jack and Mulberry! What good news!

Quartz: Arrgh… I’m so fired…

Malex: Well everybody, I think that’s probably it for today–

~~ Suddenly, the Big Men With Clubs materialize and get ready to bash Malex’s soul in.

Snufflefungus: Oh no! It’s the Big Men With Clubs!

Malex: Arrgh! I need my soul!

Linus: (Resigned.) Well, looks like all is lost, everybody…

Quartz: Quick, everybody; close your eyes! They believe that if you can’t see them, they can’t see you, so we’ll be safe that way!

Random Girl: (Suddenly materializes.) Ha-yaa! (Freezes Big Men With Clubs using Liquid Nitrogen Gun, then vanishes again.)

Snufflefungus: What just happened? I wasn’t looking.

Malex: That was interesting…

Linus: Some random girl just appeared and froze the big men with clubs.

Malex: Was that liquid nitrogen? Hmm…

Snufflefungus: Hey, Malex… Didn’t you buy any food while we were gone? There’s nothing good in the snack cupboard!

Linus: Yeah man, what did you do while we were gone, sit on your bum the whole time?

Malex: Well Ladies and Gentlemen, I think we’d better end this episode before violence breaks out. Thanks for joining us, and I hope to see you next week on the Malex Minute!

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers, with a guest appearance by Leela as the random girl.

Post-processing director: Alex Markley

Release manager: Alex Markley

Thanks to Cognito Perceptu for use of the Hammering sound effect.

Thanks to D.C. Audio for use of the Exiting Traffic Door sound effect.

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

NameSizeAction
Episode Audio3.46 MB Download Now - 3.46 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Classic Malex Minute Illustration309.15 KB Download Now - 309.15 KB View Now - Classic Malex Minute Illustration

Comments

Alex's picture

Oh by the way...

Yes, the information "leak" regarding Jack and Mulberry near the end of the episode was intentional.

Also, the last couple of episodes have had little tidbits of fun after the end credits/copyright notice. So... If you missed that, you might want to go back and check it out again. ;)

I know I haven't done much blogging lately. It's insane how quickly days turn into weeks. :-P I'm planning on doing a massive catch-up blog entry tomorrow, so look for it!

ttyl

--Alex Markley

And with that, the chubby one became illiterate with excitement.

(By the way... Next time I discover misspelled words in my own, months-old signature, I'm just going to go off somewhere and cry.)

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

...

*falls over*

------------------------------

ゴー 空を飛ぶ メッチェン

ゲノムが

叫び声

------------------------------

Gone

Mariel 7's picture

Smelling Salts!!!!

GFG, are you okay ... GFG ... hello ... are you in there :-? ... SPEAK TO ME!!!!!

-----------------------

Insanity only brings people closer

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Peter's picture

"Salutation"

"The most generic salutation seems appropriate here: hello." -"Me"

I didn't want to use the word "salutation" here, because it says, "I have a big vocabulary and I'm special." But mAlex said that the whole line was like that, so I had to go all the way. X-(

---------------------

You can't teach an old goat new habits.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

...

*is still fallen over*

------------------------------

ゴー 空を飛ぶ メッチェン

ゲノムが

叫び声

------------------------------

Gone

Alex's picture

yeah, except...

The original line said something like, "...most generic and widespread greeting seems..." And, unfortunately, that made almost no sense. :-P

--Alex Markley

And with that, the chubby one became illiterate with excitement.

(By the way... Next time I discover misspelled words in my own, months-old signature, I'm just going to go off somewhere and cry.)

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Alex's picture

heh

I told you I'd use it. :-P

--Alex Markley

And with that, the chubby one became illiterate with excitement.

(By the way... Next time I discover misspelled words in my own, months-old signature, I'm just going to go off somewhere and cry.)

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Peter's picture

No...

If I had had my way it would have said, "The most generic opening..." I was fine with you taking away the "widespread" part, but "salutation"?X-|

---------------------

You can't teach an old goat new habits.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

Mariel 7's picture

I hope that's a good *fallen over*, GFG ...

*After attempting to revive the All-powerful, All-mighty GFG from her state of shock, bewilderment, and joyfulnesity for an hour, Mariel eventually gives up and goes back to her book*

-----------------------

Insanity only brings people closer

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Alex's picture

Trivia

Due to time constraints during post-production on this episode, every single sound-effect was re-used from previous episodes.

--Alex Markley

And with that, the chubby one became illiterate with excitement.

(By the way... Next time I discover misspelled words in my own, months-old signature, I'm just going to go off somewhere and cry.)

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Mmm

*finally gets back up*

Or you could have just said "hello"

that woulda been simple XD

We got lost at a beach! It was so much fun!

That has to be the line of the week.

------------------------------

ゴー 空を飛ぶ メッチェン

ゲノムが

叫び声

------------------------------

Gone

Peter's picture

Oh...

"Or you could have just said "hello" that woulda been simple" -Go Fly Girl

But the whole point behind saying "The most generic opening seems appropriate here," was to point out that everyone else (Filman and The Shaman) so far has opened that way. I wanted to do something creative, but it turned out being a bad idea...

---------------------

You can't teach an old goat new habits.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

Lilly's picture

It sounds like you being you

I thought you always talked that way :-P .You always seem to be trying to sound smarter than everyone.

------------------------------

I have found that one of the hardest things, is walking when all you want to do is swim.

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Peter's picture

Is that an insult?

I'm never "trying to sound smarter than everyone"! That would be such a brain-dead thing to do. As I said, I was only trying to be a little more creative than, "Hello."

---------------------

You can't teach an old goat new habits.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

Alex's picture

Overly Analytical

I think this is a simple example of over-analysis. Quartz is a very analytical person. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as he remembers to avoid stepping on other people's toes.

And he certainly isn't trying to sound smart, he just is. :-P

--Alex Markley

And with that, the chubby one became illiterate with excitement.

(By the way... Next time I discover misspelled words in my own, months-old signature, I'm just going to go off somewhere and cry.)

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

My preference

"...most generic and widespread greeting seems..."

I like that one best, but it seems overdone too, really. I mean, weren't you supposed to be you in this episode? You don't really talk like that.

------------------------------

No more compromise, no more room for lies.

No more giving in to a world of sin.

-"No More Compromise" by Rubicon 7

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Peter's picture

That's because...

I've never really had a premeditation on the first sentence a person ever hears me say before.

---------------------

"O Death, where is your sting? O Grave, where is your victory?" 1 Corinthians 15:55

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

Weird

It must be really odd to write a conversation for yourself to say. You need to be sure you talk the way you'd really talk, not the way you hope you talk. @-D

------------------------------

No more compromise, no more room for lies.

No more giving in to a world of sin.

-"No More Compromise" by Rubicon 7

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Susie Markley's picture

Hey! GFG!

Hey, GFG! Guess what? I did the voice for the random girl! :-D

It was fun to get to yell! :-O

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Come now children what's wrong? You should be panting with delight!

#HowManyLicksDoesItTake to change a lightbulb?

Haha!

Schweet, you kinda sound like me :P

------------------------------

The important point is that "nothing" is just that: nothing. It doesn't exist. It has no identity. It's not a vacuum. It's not dark. It's not cold. It has no characteristics.

------------------------------

Gone

Susie Markley's picture

Yay!

Yay! Another thing we have in common! X-D

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Come now children what's wrong? You should be panting with delight!

#HowManyLicksDoesItTake to change a lightbulb?

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