~~ Introduction

Malex: Eh? What’s this? I wonder where I am? Oh, hi everybody! Malex here, and I’m still in hiding. At least, I was in hiding, although now I’m not so sure.

Malex: Hmm, let’s see… What’s the last thing I remember? Ah yes, I tried to sneak back into the house to see if Linus or Snufflefungus had returned, and the Big Men With Clubs ambushed me. They almost got me, but I was too quick for ’em. So there I am, running down the street, and one of the idiots pulls out a squirrel gun!

Malex: Of course, everybody knows squirrel guns are illegal, so you can imagine how surprised I was to see it. Anyway, this joker pulls his squirrel gun out, pulls the trigger, and blam – a hole opens up in time and space.

Malex: So… That’s the last thing I remember, but that doesn’t answer the principle question: Where am I?

Malex: Surroundings, surroundings. Check out my surroundings; let’s see… Hmm. I’m in a building; that much is obvious. The purpose of this building, however, is not so obvious.

Malex: Let’s see what I can see if I just keep walking…

Malex: It seems odd that I haven’t seen any windows yet… Or people.

Malex: Wow, how big is this place? It’s all very confusing, with twisty passages and doors everywhere.

Malex: What the–? There’s a Taco King here. There’s a Taco King inside this building… And the sole employee is staring at me.

Taco King Employee: Were you gonna buy some food, or are you just gonna keep talkin’ to yourself all creepy-like?

Malex: Um… I’m not really hungry right now.

Taco King Employee: Well then get out of here! You’re blockin’ the vibes!

Malex: Oh, sorry. Um… Say, you wouldn’t happen to know where I can find an exit, would you?

Taco King Employee: The hallway is right behind you.

Malex: No, no. I meant a real exit. Like, out of the building.

Taco King Employee: Crazy kid comes in here talking to himself, and now he’s muttering nonsense about leaving the building.

Malex: Look, I didn’t want to interrupt your little break with reality, but I’m really anxious to leave.

Taco King Employee: Yeah, I know. You’re all the same. Some Big Men With Clubs came through here a while back asking the same insane questions. They bought some food though.

Malex: The Big Men With Clubs are here?!

Taco King Employee: You’ll want to talk with the controller. He’ll straighten out your madness.

Malex: Okay, where do I find this ‘controller?’

Taco King Employee: Just follow the signs, and get out of my shop.

Malex: What? I would have sworn those weren’t there before.

Malex: Hmm… Wow that looks like a long way… This sure is confusing; I wonder if this is marked incorrectly? It almost feels as though I’m going in circles.

Jeffrey: Hey, man! Peace out!

Malex: What?! Jeffrey?

Jeffrey: Yeah, man! That’s me!

Malex: I’m looking for ‘the controller.’ You wouldn’t happen to know who that is, or even, by any chance, anything else, would you?

Jeffrey: The controller man? That’s me, dude!

Malex: Oh, that’s rich. Who in their right mind would put you in charge of a complex like this?

Jeffrey: I did, man!

Malex: Um…

Jeffrey: And it’s not a complex… It’s an alternate reality. I made it with my mind.

Malex: Oh wow. If that’s not the most genuinely frightening thing I’ve heard this year, I can’t imagine what is.

Jeffrey: Seriously, man. I can make stuff appear with my mind!

Malex: I’ll believe that when I see it; and even then I won’t be impressed.

Sheep: Baa!

Malex: I lied; I’m impressed. But why a sheep?

Jeffrey: I like the little sheepies, man! They’re awesome.

Malex: Okay, so can you help me get out of here by any chance?

Jeffrey: I guess I could…

Malex: Oh, great! If you could send me back home, I’d be very thankful.

Jeffrey: I dunno, I think I’d prefer being your arch-nemesis, man.

Malex: Thanks, but I’ve got quite enough of those already.

Jeffrey: Oh, okay. You sure?

Malex: Very sure.

Jeffrey: Alright man, here you go! (Grunts with effort.)

Malex: … What happened?

Jeffrey: Not much man, you must be blocking the vibes.

Malex: Oh. Okay, folks, I think we’d best end this episode before violence breaks out. Thanks for listening, and we hope to see you next week!

~~ End

Sheep: Baa!

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Alex Markley

Post-processing director: Alex Markley

Release manager: Alex Markley

Thanks to everyone for their help and support.