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Malex Minute 014
Submitted by Alex on Fri, 06/09/2006 - 12:31am
Here it is! The first episode of the new quarter! We’ve got snappy theme music, a female end-title announcer, and the same tired old characters from last quarter! Snufflefungus talks about fur, Linus talks about morbid obesity, and Malex tries desperately to keep the discussion in bounds.
Transcript
~~ Introduction
Malex: So there’s the new introduction! What do you think?
Linus: I hate it, and – by extension – you.
Snufflefungus: I don’t think I could be happier! I’m just so… happy!
Malex: Hmm.
Linus: And with that, a freakish joy descends on the room.
Snufflefungus: (Sarcastic.) Thanks. I needed that.
Malex: Excellent. Now we can begin!
Linus: So what precisely are we talking about today?
Malex: Well I don’t really have anything. Snufflefungus said he had something to talk about, so I’ll just turn it over to him.
Snufflefungus: Who, me?
Linus: Oh, this is going to be good…
Snufflefungus: Oh, me! That Snufflefungus.
Malex: Um…
Snufflefungus: Today, I would like to talk about being born with fur!
Malex: Fur?! That doesn’t apply to anybody!
Linus: Now you know how I feel when you talk about food.
Malex: What? I don’t talk about food!
Linus: Sure. Sure you don’t.
Malex: I mean, well, yeah. I talk about food, but not… you know… excessively.
Linus: You humans and your food. You never shut up…
Malex: Okay, that was just uncalled for.
Snufflefungus: Can we get back to me now?
Linus: And when you’re not talking about food, it’s because your mouth is too full of food to talk!
Malex: I’m just waiting for you to shut up at this point.
Linus: Perfect example: I just saw a fat boy today who was so fat that you could feed an entire third-world country just by poking him with a sharp stick.
Snufflefungus: That’s an awfully fat boy.
Malex: Oh good, now we’re offending all of our morbidly obese listeners. That’s just what we need.
Snufflefungus: Are you calling our listeners morbidly obese?!
Malex: No, no! Not at all! I just mean that if we did have any morbidly obese listeners, and they complained–
Linus: Then they would be admitting their obesity to themselves and the entire world.
Snufflefungus: Malex! How could you?! Why would you put our poor, obese listeners in that position?
Malex: (Sighs.) I think I need to shut up.
Linus: And another thing!
Malex: I think you need to shut up as well.
Snufflefungus: So, back to my fur. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to keep this stuff from getting tangled?
Malex: Not really, seeing as I don’t have any fur.
Snufflefungus: Well I’m here to tell you, it’s pretty difficult.
Malex: So what’s your solution?
Snufflefungus: Solution?
Malex: Yeah, do you have a tip for our fur-covered listeners?
Linus: Are we going to start stereotyping again? I love stereotyping…
Snufflefungus: I always found it hard enough to type in mono, seeing as I haven’t got any hands!
Malex: Now that… That was random.
Snufflefungus: No it wasn’t! It made perfect sense!
Malex: Look, will you just tell us whatever it is you were going to tell us about the fur?!
Snufflefungus: I already did!
Malex: Well, then why did you bring it up?!
Linus: Now, now. His mental capacity is woefully limited. Don’t be too harsh on him.
Snufflefungus: (Completely unfazed – even happy.) Well you know, I just wanted to talk about fur. That’s all.
Malex: Okay, well that’s about all we have time for, Ladies and Gentlemen. Hope to see you next week, and sorry today’s episode was so… lame.
Linus: It’s the new format’s fault. (Spazzing.) Your stupid little theme song! Draining… all… life… hope… failing… Arrgh! This can only end in tears!
Snufflefungus: I thought today’s episode went pretty well…
Malex: (Sighs.)
~~ End
Credits
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writer: Alex Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers
Post-processing director: Alex Markley
Release manager: Alex Markley
Thanks to everyone for their help and support. 
Media Downloads
| Name | Size | Action |
|---|---|---|
| Episode Audio | 2.4 MB |   |
| Classic Malex Minute Illustration | 309.15 KB |  |
| | | | |
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© 2005-2010 by Malex Media Network, LLC. A part of the Malex Media Network®
Comments
Woo!
Ah, premium Malex Minute content! I've been wanting to justify putting the extra effort into cutting together blooper reels for these new episodes. It takes almost as much time to make a blooper reel as it does to make the episode, since we have as much 'mistake' as 'good stuff'.
Anyway, this episode was still a little later than I would have liked it, but at least it's still Friday morning.
I hope you'll consider purchasing a copy of the special edition, but either way, I really hope you like today's episode.
ttyl!
--Alex Markley
If the definition of mass is an object's resistance to accelleration, and gravity is just a constant accelleration, shouldn't really massive objects just float?
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
Themes
First let me say look at me I'm dancing. LoL Great. the Opening theme may take some getting used to but the end was great. But hey thats just my opinion
______________________________
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
As I expected...
"the Opening theme may take some getting used to"
I expected as much. Hopefully everyone will get used to it without too much trouble, and eventually even like it.
See, I toyed around with a number of ideas for a theme song for the Malex Minute, and even tried a few things. The problem was that most all of my stuff is epic or sad.
Since the Malex Minute isn't supposed to be either epic or sad, I decided that wasn't going to work. (Even as a sarcastic joke, an epic theme song attached to a stupid little comedy show would get old fast.)
So, in a vain attempt to avoid making something epic or sad, I tried avoiding all of the minor keys on the keyboard.
Unfortunately, this made everything sound candy-coated.
Having abandoned my "no minor notes" folly, I managed to put together what you hear on the show. Something kinda jazzy, kinda ragtime, a little playful, not too serious, and not candy-coated. Success!
Like I said, I hope everyone can get used to it alright. I think it'll really help enhance the atmosphere and production quality of the show.
ttyl!
--Alex Markley
If the definition of mass is an object's resistance to accelleration, and gravity is just a constant accelleration, shouldn't really massive objects just float?
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
i don't feel like subject writing as I just woke up...
It was a schweet theme song! I think it's better than before. Also the end is great, the only thing is that whoever said the copyright and stuff at the end sounded like a machine recording, that could be changed to sound a little more fluent.
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It takes about 2,893 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.
«Go Fly Girl is the sound of the future.»
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Gone
*crying*
My computer refuses to download anything! Yet somehow it downloaded the soundeffects for Exile without being asked. I say again that technology hates me, but im sure the theme song is great!
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If there is no chocolate in heaven, Im not going.
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
The best!
I think this episode is the best so far. I really love the theme song. And the voice of the announcer at the end is great. I like the random goofiness of theis episode, too.
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No more compromise, no more room for lies.
No more giving in to a world of sin.
-"No More Compromise" by Rubicon 7
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Great episode
I just have a question ... is Icepunk still stuck in jail in Asia, or did he beat up all the evil, bald, sword-carrying guard people and continue with life and I didn't notice
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"I refuse to continue unless I receive a full apology!"
"And in a free, perfect world, you would certainly receive one. However, you must make do with this world in which you will not"
-- "The Outlaws of Sherwood
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!!
Correction
They're not evil; they're just friends with law and order.
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Stupidity is in the mind of the cogitator.
Gaussian blur fixes everything!
Well...
"is Icepunk still stuck in jail in Asia...?"
It's difficult to say with Icepunk. Odds are that he managed to escape with his life, but there's no way to tell unless he contacts us again.
--Alex Markley
If the definition of mass is an object's resistance to accelleration, and gravity is just a constant accelleration, shouldn't really massive objects just float?
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
Malex Minute 014 Special Edition - Free!
I've been trying to send free passes of Malex Minute 014 to our wonderful email list subscribers, but I'm stuck working out the details of such a thing with BitPass.
So, since I cannot yet send a free pass to all of our email list subscribers, I am offering to send a free pass to anyone and everyone who sends me an email and lets me know that they are interested.
So, if you want to hear the full two minutes of bonus materials as well as the new episode in all of its high-quality glory, just send me an email and let me know! Don't worry, nobody is going to do anything sinister with your email address, and there are no ramifications to this free pass whatsoever. You don't have to put in a credit card number, you don't have to sign up for a subscription which "you can cancel at any time".
You just send me a message, and I send you a link to your free copy of the Special Edition episode. End of story.
Let me know if you have any questions!
ttyl
--Alex Markley
If the definition of mass is an object's resistance to accelleration, and gravity is just a constant accelleration, shouldn't really massive objects just float?
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
That's awesome!
I just went through the steps to get the premium download and it was way easier then I thought it was going to be! And, lol, those bloopers are funny!
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"It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." - Sherlock Holmes in The Adventure of the Beryl Coronet
Everything looks perfect from far away.
Still can't see it
Stupid computer...
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If there is no chocolate in heaven, Im not going.
"Is that a spittoon on your head?"
"You're just jealous."-Contradictionary- Phlegmingo
you know, I just realized something
The ending music is actually the music from the MMN logo
(sorry I didn't noticed this earlier, but I'm just kinda slow like that)
------------------------------
"I refuse to continue unless I receive a full apology!"
"And in a free, perfect world, you would certainly receive one. However, you must make do with this world in which you will not"
-- "The Outlaws of Sherwood
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!!
Yup!
"The ending music is actually the music from the MMN logo"
Yup! I like to try and make our identity as recognizable as possible. (And even if you never did consciously associate the two, I'm pretty sure it would work at some unconsious level.)
ttyl!
--Alex Markley
If the definition of mass is an object's resistance to accelleration, and gravity is just a constant accelleration, shouldn't really massive objects just float?
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
Aieee!
(And even if you never did consciously associate the two, I'm pretty sure it would work at some unconsious level.)
Subliminal advertising! Thought control! Personal freedom issues! 1984!!
------------------------------
No more compromise, no more room for lies.
No more giving in to a world of sin.
-"No More Compromise" by Rubicon 7
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Dude!
Dude can you hook me up with the premium download? I wanna hear Foppy mess up his lines!
Siggy -
No actual Icepunks were harmed in the making of this post.
Awesome Bloopers?
I'm totally into that!! If you could get me that too, that'ld be great
------------------------------
"I refuse to continue unless I receive a full apology!"
"And in a free, perfect world, you would certainly receive one. However, you must make do with this world in which you will not"
-- "The Outlaws of Sherwood
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!!
lol
"Subliminal advertising!"
Lol... Like those new sprite commercials, right? (Seriously, that was some of the funniest advertising I've ever seen...)
--Alex Markley
If the definition of mass is an object's resistance to accelleration, and gravity is just a constant accelleration, shouldn't really massive objects just float?
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
No, Malex.
No, that was horrible.
------------------------------
"It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." - Sherlock Holmes in The Adventure of the Beryl Coronet
Everything looks perfect from far away.
?
What new sprite comms?
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Dew knot used you're spell chequer two fined awl yore mis takes.
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Gone
Sprite
Those things were seriously messed up
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Insanity only brings people closer
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!!
no words
http://www.sublymonal.com/
--Alex Markley
If the definition of mass is an object's resistance to accelleration, and gravity is just a constant accelleration, shouldn't really massive objects just float?
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
sprite
I saw the commercials @ the movies today...
they're pretty weird [sorry, Malex
"...Though I may be forced to faint if my imagination gets the better of me."
-- Anne Shirley
I hope and pray that none may kill me,
Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,
But if ever any should think to kill me,
I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.
Comms @ the theatre
Okay, movies are not making the money they once did. People are not flocking to the theatres as they once did. Solution: Make the theatre experience even more onerous to people by adding commercials - the one thing everyone hates!
Hollywood's day is over.
------------------------------
No more compromise, no more room for lies.
No more giving in to a world of sin.
-"No More Compromise" by Rubicon 7
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
COOLNESS X-D
I just listened to the Special Edition 014!! SOOOOO FUNNY
P.S. I'm home!!!
-----------------------
Insanity only brings people closer
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!!
Ah, cool.
I'm glad you liked it! We haven't gotten the chance to do another special edition episode yet, but it's coming...
Oh, and welcome back.
--Alex Markley
If the definition of mass is an object's resistance to accelleration, and gravity is just a constant accelleration, shouldn't really massive objects just float?
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”