 |  |  |  |  |
Malex Minute 013
The Malex Minute
Submitted by Alex on Fri, 06/02/2006 - 12:03pm
In this epic quarter finale, Snufflefungus learns the real reason his memories were erased! (Also, somebody dies.) (Here it is, folks. The last episode of Quarter One! Of course, we’ll be back next week, so there’s not much of a difference. Still, it’s a milestone, and by golly we’re going to mark it. Enjoy!)
Transcript
Malex: Welcome to the Malex Minute, Ladies and Gentlemen! My name is Alex Markley, or Malex, and I’ll be hosting the show today along with Linus the Laptop and Snufflefungus the, um…
Snufflefungus: (Extremely cheerful.) Snufflefungus!
Linus: Ow! My cheerfulness circuit just overloaded!
Snufflefungus: That’s looking at the glass half full!
Malex: Or completely full…
Linus: I’m dying over here, and nobody cares!
Malex: Today, I’d like to talk about the Malex Minute.
Snufflefungus: But this is the Malex Minute…
Linus: I don’t think he understands.
Malex: I’m surrounded by wiseacres.
Snufflefungus: His glass is half full too!
Malex: Is it even possible to cram wiseacres in a water glass?
Linus: Try, and I’ll bite you.
Malex: Anyway, I really do want to talk about the Malex Minute. This is our thirteenth episode, you know.
Linus: Oh good. That’s just dandy. Do you have a point?
Snufflefungus: Thirteen is an unlucky number!
Malex: I don’t think–
Snufflefungus: We’re all going to die!
Linus: That’s it. I’m hiding under the desk until this all blows over.
Malex: You guys are crazy! Nobody’s going to die!
~~ In the background, shots are fired and a woman screams.
Malex: Well, what do you know?
Snufflefungus: Is it coming this way?
Linus: I’m still just under the desk. It’s cozy down here.
Malex: (Sighs.) The whole point is that thirteen episodes marks three months since we began! A quarter of a year!
Linus: I’m just surprised we lasted this long.
Snufflefungus: Well the shooting seems to have stopped, so we might last a good while yet.
Malex: Anyway, I just thought it would be prudent to announce the milestone so people wouldn’t be all confused when the format changes.
Snufflefungus: The format is going to change?! What is it changing to?
Linus: Whatever it is, it’s going to be worse.
Snufflefungus: I like the show the way it is…
Malex: Don’t worry, I’m not going to alter things a whole bunch. I’m just going to tweak it here and there.
Snufflefungus: Oh. Okay.
Anonymous: What, is that it?
Linus: Whoa! You’ve gotta stop sneaking up like that, buster!
Anonymous: Sorry. Seriously though, aren’t you going to do something amazing as a quarter finale?
Malex: I, uh… I didn’t really have anything planned…
Snufflefungus: We could talk about how pathetic it is that I spent months searching for memories that I myself erased. Does that sound good?
Anonymous: I had a better idea. Do you really want to know what you gave up?
Snufflefungus: Of course I do!
Anonymous: Then why don’t I show you?
Malex: I don’t know… We’ve had quite a bit of adventure recently…
Anonymous: Don’t worry; you’re not coming.
~~ Snufflefungus and Anonymous are whooshed away.
Snufflefungus: Woo! That’s more fun than a roller coaster!
Anonymous: Yeah. I love this job.
Snufflefungus: Hey, what planet is that? I was never good at geography, but those continents don’t look like Earth.
Anonymous: That’s because that’s not Earth. Come on!
Snufflefungus: Whoa! Look at the size of that city!
Anonymous: It’s twice the size of Earth’s largest city, and there are hundreds of them here.
Snufflefungus: Hey, they have McDoogle’s Hamburger Gateway here too!
Anonymous: Yeah, you can’t really get away from them.
Snufflefungus: And that huge building… That’s a library?!
Anonymous: That is what the sign says. I see you haven’t forgotten how to read your native language…
Snufflefungus: You mean, I came from this planet?!
Anonymous: That’s right. This building is where you worked and lived. Let’s look inside.
Snufflefungus: Hey, there I am! At that console. And there’s another me! Wow! There must be thousands of us in here!
Anonymous: That’s right, you were raised here among your kind.
Snufflefungus: Mr. Anonymous, sir? Why do they all look so sad?
Anonymous: They are all so sad because they are Reference Slaves.
Snufflefungus: What? What is a Reference Slave?
Anonymous: You were a Reference Slave. The dominant species on this planet force your people to work for them to build and maintain their society. Because of your low-level PSI power, your people make excellent computer interfaces. So, it was your job to look things up and answer any question in a matter of milliseconds.
Snufflefungus: But that’s horrible! And it makes perfect sense.
Anonymous: You were quite good at your job, too. Or so I’m told. But that didn’t mean you enjoyed it. Eventually, you escaped to Earth and erased your memories.
Snufflefungus: But… My family is still here?
Anonymous: You couldn’t help them at the time. You did the best you could.
Snufflefungus: Oh…
Anonymous: Come on… Let’s go.
~~ Snufflefungus and Anonymous return with a whoosh.
Malex: What do you mean I’m not coming! Of course I’m coming!
Snufflefungus: Whoa… That was awesome!
Linus: What are you saying? You already went and returned? That’s impossible!
Malex: Hey, where did Anonymous go?
Snufflefungus: I dunno… He’s a busy guy.
Linus: So what did you see?
Snufflefungus: It was… complicated.
Malex: That’s okay, we don’t have time to hear about it anyway. Thanks for listening to the Malex Minute, Ladies and Gentlemen! Hope to see you next week!
Linus: I know, you saw a mile long trek across a wasteland of broken glass! Monkeys? Come on, tell me what you saw!
Malex: Today’s episode was a production of the Malex Media Network. Please visit us online at MalexMedia.Net. God Bless, and have a great day!
Credits
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writer: Alex Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers, with a guest appearance by Leela as the screaming woman.
Post-processing director: Alex Markley
Release manager: Alex Markley
Thanks to everyone for their help and support. 
Media Downloads
| Name | Size | Action |
|---|---|---|
| Episode Audio | 3.01 MB |   |
| Classic Malex Minute Illustration | 309.15 KB |  |
| | | | |
Comments
Hope
Maybe the woman in the background was just startled by the backfires of a passing car...
This episode has a little more serious tone. The funny parts were hilarious, as usual, but...poor Snufflefungus! The 'scene' on Snuffy's home planet made me think of an old movie called The Adding Machine. It was sad and thoughtful.
------------------------------
No more compromise, no more room for lies.
No more giving in to a world of sin.
-"No More Compromise" by Rubicon 7
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Serious...
Yes, this episode does indeed have a more serious tone. I felt we needed to wrap up all of the loose ends we had created.
Things should be back to normal next week.
--Alex Markley
If the definition of mass is an object's resistance to accelleration, and gravity is just a constant accelleration, shouldn't really massive objects just float?
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
poor Snuffy's family
------------------------------
"I refuse to continue unless I recieve a full apology!"
"And in a free, perfect world, you would certainly recieve one. However, as this world is neither perfect nor fair, you won't"
-- "The Outlaws of Sherwood
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano
Hmm...
I guess he was so used to being called "the Snufflefungus" that he forgot.
---------------------
Stupidity is in the mind of the cogitator.
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
He
He needs a name... a good name... like.... Titus!
------------------------------
Once again I weep, I beg, I plead... How stubborn can they be?
------------------------------
Gone
Ooo, yeah
Oh, I like that. Or Timothy. Can we call him Titus? Maybe a "Name the Snufflefungus" contest.
------------------------------
No more compromise, no more room for lies.
No more giving in to a world of sin.
-"No More Compromise" by Rubicon 7
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Heh...
I have a pretty funny idea already...
--Alex Markley
If the definition of mass is an object's resistance to accelleration, and gravity is just a constant accelleration, shouldn't really massive objects just float?
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
Crying...
"I almost cried when I listened to the thing about Snuffy's homeworld. Poor all of them!"
Well, I'm sorry if it was unpleasant. I actually wanted to make the plot a little bit sad. I don't think it's a good idea to keep anything, even a comedy, 100% funny all the time. If you do, it just becomes mindless and loses its potency.
On the other hand, a little bit of drama endears the characters to you... right?
--Alex Markley
If the definition of mass is an object's resistance to accelleration, and gravity is just a constant accelleration, shouldn't really massive objects just float?
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
But good crying
It was very sad, but in a good way (sorry to confuse). I really like the drama of the whole situation!!
But it's still really sad!!!
!!!!
------------------------------
"I refuse to continue unless I receive a full apology!"
"And in a free, perfect world, you would certainly receive one. However, as this world is neither perfect nor fair, you won't"
-- "The Outlaws of Sherwood
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano
Already endeared
You didn't need to do anything to endear Snufflefungus to me. I already loved him and the home world thing is so sad.
How can we help poor little Snufflefungus save his family? Should we sign a petition? Send in UPC symbols from specially marked packages? I'll help you, Snuffy!
------------------------------
No more compromise, no more room for lies.
No more giving in to a world of sin.
-"No More Compromise" by Rubicon 7
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Specially marked packages?
Do they come with little Snufflefungus toys inside?
------------------------------
"It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." - Sherlock Holmes in The Adventure of the Beryl Coronet
Everything looks perfect from far away.
Ohhh
I want a snuffy plushie!!!!
------------------------------
It takes about 2,893 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.
------------------------------
Gone
me too <3
yeah! that'll be the day
------------------------------
"I refuse to continue unless I recieve a full apology!"
"And in a free, perfect world, you would certainly recieve one. However, as this world is neither perfect nor fair, you won't"
-- "The Outlaws of Sherwood
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano
snuffy plushie
This may either sound sad or really cool, but one of my friends wanted one as well...so I actually made one. It cost me about $20 to make it wasn't all that hard.
______________________________
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
lol!
lol! That's stinking hilarious! Can you post some pictures?
If you send me some pictures, I'll seriously post them here.
--Alex Markley
If the definition of mass is an object's resistance to accelleration, and gravity is just a constant accelleration, shouldn't really massive objects just float?
Alex Markley
“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”
SNUFFY!!!!!
You just might have to tell us how to do that, I'm sure we're all dying to have our own Snuffy Plushies!!
------------------------------
"I refuse to continue unless I receive a full apology!"
"And in a free, perfect world, you would certainly receive one. However, as this world is neither perfect nor fair, you won't"
-- "The Outlaws of Sherwood
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano
I wish I could
Well it's kinda already in her hands and since school is out that means she is back in her home country of Germany. I could make another one in time pretty quickly I think. Hmm have another one made and have some kind of contest to see who wins it. I like this idea.
______________________________
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.
Contest
LIke the sig war only with an actual prize
I like it 
------------------------------
"I refuse to continue unless I receive a full apology!"
"And in a free, perfect world, you would certainly receive one. However, you must make do with this world in which you will not"
-- "The Outlaws of Sherwood
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano
!!
Awesome! How about a "Who loves the snufflefungus more" contest?
------------------------------
If there is no chocolate in heaven, Im not going.
I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City
no lilly
'cause SangMing would probably win
!
------------------------------
"I refuse to continue unless I receive a full apology!"
"And in a free, perfect world, you would certainly receive one. However, you must make do with this world in which you will not"
-- "The Outlaws of Sherwood
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano
i dont think so
I think Quartz would win. He should get the snufflefungus plushie anyway!!!
------------------------------
If there is no chocolate in heaven, Im not going.
I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City
Hold it a minute here...
I don't love the Snufflefungus. I mean, he's okay, but... really.
---------------------
Stupidity is in the mind of the cogitator.
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
But...but...
But you are the snufflefungus!
------------------------------
If there is no chocolate in heaven, Im not going.
I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City
<3 <3
I definitely, hands down, love the Snufflefungus more than anyone else does.
But how about a different kind of contest? Maybe a "submit a plot twist for the Malex Minute" contest, or something.
Lilly! That picture bears just enough of a resemblance to you that it's weird.
------------------------------
No more compromise, no more room for lies.
No more giving in to a world of sin.
-"No More Compromise" by Rubicon 7
We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.
Right.
Only very sick people love themselves more than anyone else.
---------------------
Stupidity is in the mind of the cogitator.
“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party
I've been meaning to mention that
I suddenly remember the first time I went to arwen-undomiel.com and read "Therapy Session"! That was funny and creepy (there were only three of us to play 15 parts) and DragonGuy was Aragorn
!!
------------------------------
"I refuse to continue unless I receive a full apology!"
"In a free and perfect world, you would certainly receive one. However, you must make do with this world in which you will not"
-- "The Outlaws of Sherwood
SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano