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Malex Minute 009

Snufflefungus’s memories are found in a land far away, and the journey to retrieve them begins!

Episode Audio

Transcript

Malex: Welcome to the Malex Minute, Ladies and Gentlemen! My name is Alex Markley (or Malex), and I’m hosting the show along with Linus the Laptop and Snufflefungus the Magnificent.

Snufflefungus: I’m so magnificent!

Linus: I’d protest, but it couldn’t matter less.

Malex: Today, I’d like to address that issue that’s been keeping us all up at night.

Linus: The spontaneous combustion of small animals has to stop!

Snufflefungus: I’m afraid for my life!

Malex: Simply ghastly! Anyway, after many weeks of research–

Linus: And many scorched animals!

Malex: –we at the research division of the Malex Media Network have finally found a solution to the problem!

Snufflefungus: It’s surprisingly simple!

Linus: The solution was in plain sight the whole time!

Malex: Everyone was making it more complex than it needed to be!

Snufflefungus: To protect your family and loved ones from the curse of the exploding mammals, simply–

~~ Phone rings.

Snufflefungus: Oh. I’ll get it.

Anonymous: Hello? Is this the Malex Minute?

Malex: Yes, you’re on the air! What can we do for you?

Anonymous: Nothing. You’re not even funny. However, I can do something for you.

Linus: We don’t want any. Remove us from your phone list. If you call again, I will kill you with nothing but words.

Anonymous: Relax, I’m not trying to sell anything. Jeez, don’t you guys know an anonymous tip when you get one?!

Snufflefungus: I’m sorry, this is my first anonymous tip. Should I be doing something differently?

Anonymous: Talk less, listen more. If you want your memories, go to FleeceThem.com. End of story. (Hangs up.)

Snufflefungus: FleeceThem.com? What’s that?

Malex: It’s, well, an ‘underground’ auction and trade site.

Linus: Let’s see what they have. Hmm… Seems like the ‘underground’ is a good place for the memories of dead celebrities.

Malex: It’s a very buyer-beware market.

Snufflefungus: Do they have Elvis?

Linus: Here we go!

Snufflefungus: The king!

Linus: Not Elvis, you dope. I’ve found your memories!

Malex: Really? Amazing! Lemme see…

Linus: Uh oh… This could be bad.

Snufflefungus: What? What?

Malex: Oh… This item up for sale by Satan.

Linus: And the only available method of delivery is pickup.

Snufflefungus: Oh my.

Malex: Well, it’s not terribly expensive. I can pay for this.

Snufflefungus: That’s so nice of you!

Malex: It’s the least I can do for a friend.

Linus: Why don’t we call this number and see if he’ll consent to ship it, since I don’t fancy going to Hell for anything.

Snufflefungus: I’ll call him up…

~~ Phone sounds.

Satan: (Squeaky.) Hello?

Malex: Hi. Um, may we speak to Satan please?

Satan: Oh, right. And you just assume I’m not him. It’s the voice, isn’t it? Well I may not have the manliest voice ever, but I’m still pretty powerful! I demand respect!

Linus: Oh, you’ve got it. Bucketloads.

Malex: Um, we were just calling about this item you have up for sale on FleeceThem.com. If we were to pay a little extra, could we have this thing shipped? I mean, it’s well out of our way to go pick it up, and we were hoping to get it quickly.

Satan: Oh, we could probably arrange something.

Mr. Eyebrows: Excuse me, but I think you should have them pick it up.

Satan: Is– Is it you?

Mr. Eyebrows: Yes, you dip-wit.

Satan: New terms! You don’t get the rodent’s memories until you bring the money and my associate to my lair!

Malex: Oh… Uh, sure! Whatever you say… We’ll, uh, see you around… (Hangs up phone.)

Linus: Great. Just great.

Snufflefungus: Okay, so when do we begin our quest?

Malex: Well, the journey will be long and hard, and should take weeks, so you’ll need lots of supplies.

Linus: We just went to the grocery store, so you should be able to get underway immediately.

Snufflefungus: Wait, I’m not going alone, am I?

Malex: Of course not! You’ll be taking Mr. Eyebrows with you!

Mr. Eyebrows: I know lots of car games. It’ll be fun!

Snufflefungus: What happened to “It’s the least I can do for a friend?”

Linus: It’s also the most he could do for a friend. The man has limits.

Malex: Don’t think of it as abandonment, think of it as holding down the fort!

Linus: Tactical support! Leading from the rear!

Snufflefungus: Or abandonment.

Malex: Well, look at the time! Thanks for joining us on the Malex Minute, Ladies and Gentlemen. I hope you enjoyed the show, and will join us next time to find out what happens to Snufflefungus the Traveler!

Mr. Eyebrows: It’ll be fun! I even know some songs for the road! We’re off to see the Satan; the horrible Satan of Hell.

Malex: That’s enough of that. Today’s episode was a production of the Malex Media Network. Visit us online at MalexMedia.Net. God Bless, and have a great day!

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Alex Markley

Release manager: Alex Markley

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio2.74 MB Download Now - 2.74 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Classic Malex Minute Illustration309.15 KB Download Now - 309.15 KB View Now - Classic Malex Minute Illustration

Comments

The pinnacle

Okay guys, this is the funniest ever! Really. I laughed a lot. X-D

But poor little Snufflefungus. Hobbit-like he must go on a dreadful journey to the nether reaches of reality. With only the untrustworthy Mr. Eyebrows for companionship. It's too horrible... :-((

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Just keep swimming!

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Traveling issues

A quick question. Since our friend Snufflefungus has no appendages how is he going to bring Mr. Eyebrows along?:-?

______________________________

Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.

Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.

good question

I was not at all thinking the same thing, it probably never would have even occurred to me.

"We are the music makers... and we are the dreamers of the dreams." Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder)

Do you realize that if it weren't for Edison, we'd be watching TV by candlelight?

Susie Markley's picture

Yeah!

I was thinking the exact same thing, Ghostmagic. Neither of them are able to walk! 0_0 What are they going to do? Poor, poor, Snufflefungus! :-(

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I'm twice as tall of half of you, and half as tall as twice of you. -Bill Boy: "Lord Of The Beans"

#HowManyLicksDoesItTake to change a lightbulb?

Peter's picture

My Thoughts Exactly

"Since our friend Snufflefungus has no appendages how is he going to bring Mr. Eyebrows along?" -Ghost Magic

Forget carrying Mr. Eyebrows, what about driving?

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This statement in this signature is a lie.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

Lilly's picture

=)

I thought they were going to pack him in a box and mail him...

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Send the river faster on it's path, so the river will find me sooner, sooner at the sea...

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Or...

Or, since it's all downhill, maybe they could affix Snufflefungus to the computer that Mr. Eyebrows is in, and send them down a hill like a sled. :-D

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Just keep swimming!

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Mariel 7's picture

Driving with no hands

... 0_0 ... @-D ... X-| ...

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For every minute you exist, take two to live

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

That's horrible! The poor

That's horrible! The poor little fuzzball!

And yet, it's still funny somehow. I say that Lilly had the best idea. It would be awesome if they shipped him.

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And this is why your mind is such a terrible thing to lose.

Mariel 7's picture

Lilly's always right...

... and I don't think she'll ever let me forget it!!

But this really is the best idea (now shut up about it :-| ... j/k :-P )

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For every minute you exist, take two to live

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

it is not a fuzz ball it is a

it is not a fuzz ball it is a snufflefungus

Jack Hopkins

#Jesus loves You#

You guys are so funny! I

You guys are so funny! X-D I can't believe that I haven't been watching/listening until now.

Peter's picture

Thanks!

I'm glad you've discovered us, I hope you enjoy the rest of our entertainment! :D

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

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