Wherein our heroes discuss upcoming productions by the Malex Media Network, and the Snufflefungus calls Little Red Riding Squirrel on the phone for some reason.
Malex: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Malex Minute. My name is Alex Markley – or Malex – and I’ll be hosting the show today along with Linus the Laptop and the Snufflefungus.
Malex: Today, we’ll be discussing an upcoming production of ours.
Snufflefungus: Do we produce stuff?
Linus: No. This show isn’t really a production, it’s an elaborate hoax.
Snufflefungus: I thought something was fishy about this whole thing! I bet these microphones aren’t even real!
Malex: They’re real enough that if you were to break one, I would kill you.
Linus: I would give just about anything to see that…
Malex: Anyway, we’re getting started on the production of a new cartoon!
Snufflefungus: Ooh! I love cartoons! I can hardly wait!
Linus: Good grief. Enough with the optimism already! I’m getting smothered by it.
Malex: Oh hush. I’ll admit, we’re treading on entirely unproven ground, and something horrible might happen. That’s why I’m not going to go overboard with the details. Still, theoretically, we have all the tools at our disposal, so if they work as advertised, we should be able to really complete a cartoon!
Linus: You know you’re not exactly pioneering new things or anything, right? I mean, if you were attempting this in 1910, it might have been vaguely interesting, but…
Malex: Well this will be available over the Internet! That’s pretty cutting-edge…
Linus: Can you say, “Homestarrunner.com?”
Malex: Shut up.
Snufflefungus: Shut. Past-tense verb. To move something into position so that it blocks an opening.
Malex: Now, if only he had an actual windpipe and a jaw to block it with.
Snufflefungus: So, Malex, tell us more about this cartoon.
Malex: Well, it’s going to involve characters that we’ve already heard from, but we’ll be seeing new sides of them.
Linus: Really? To which characters are you referring?
Malex: Ah ah, we wouldn’t want to give away too many details and get people’s hopes up, would we?
Snufflefungus: What stage of production are you in right now?
Malex: Well, we’re in script development right now. We’re also knee deep into the character designs. That oughtta take weeks all by itself, but it’ll be worth it.
Snufflefungus: So when can we expect to see this in theatres?
Linus: Where did that come from?
Malex: Probably never, since it’ll most likely be less than fifteen minutes long. Still, it should be highly entertaining, and we’ll undoubtedly learn a lot.
Linus: Maybe you’ll learn not to announce stuff before it’s finished…
Malex: Hey, we finished the opening title logo for the Malex Media Network!
Linus: Is that so? Then why are you planning to re-render it again?
Malex: The, uh, quality isn’t… you know… high enough yet. It still looks really awesome!
Linus: Maybe according to human standards, but I wouldn’t be caught dead rendering something like that.
Snufflefungus: Hey, I have another topic for the minute, if it’s okay for me to bring it up…
Linus: No. You’re not allowed.
Malex: Of course he’s allowed. What is it, Snufflefungus?
Snufflefungus: Well, I’m still looking for my memories, and I think I would like to call Little Red Riding Squirrel up on his cell phone to find out what he knows.
Linus: Since when does Little Red Riding Squirrel have a cell phone?
Malex: Since when do you know Little Red Riding Squirrel’s number?!
Snufflefungus: I got his number last time he dropped in so I could find out more information.
Malex: Well, if you insist. Give him a call.
Little Red Riding Squirrel: (Answering phone.) Hiya!
Snufflefungus: Hello, Little Red Riding Squirrel?
Little Red Riding Squirrel: May I ask who’s calling?
Snufflefungus: It’s me… The Snufflefungus.
Little Red Riding Squirrel: Oh! How are you doing?! How is Malex? How is everything?!
Snufflefungus: Everything’s okay, I’m just calling to find out what you know about my memories.
Little Red Riding Squirrel: Oh, I don’t know anything about them. I lied last time to get on your good side.
Snufflefungus: That wasn’t very nice of you.
Little Red Riding Squirrel: Probably not, but it doesn’t matter now because – thanks to the magic of caller I.D. – I now have your phone number!
Linus: Holy deer slap!
Malex: Is there no refuge?!
Snufflefungus: Little Red Riding Squirrel, I’m hanging up on you now.
Little Red Riding Squirrel: It’s’a me! Little Red Riding–
Linus: Well that was thoroughly unproductive…
Malex: Ladies and Gentlemen, I think that’s all we have time for today. Thanks for listening, and we hope to see you next week on the Malex Minute!
Snufflefungus: If anybody knows anything about the whereabouts of my memories, please give me a call.
Malex: Today’s show was a production of the Malex Media Network. Visit us online at MalexMedia.Net. God bless, and have a great day!
Producer and Director: Alex Markley
Writer: Alex Markley
Voices: Markley Brothers
Post-processing director: Alex Markley
Release manager: Alex Markley
Thanks to everyone for their help and support.