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Malex Minute 008

Wherein our heroes discuss upcoming productions by the Malex Media Network, and the Snufflefungus calls Little Red Riding Squirrel on the phone for some reason.

Episode Audio

Transcript

Malex: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Malex Minute. My name is Alex Markley – or Malex – and I’ll be hosting the show today along with Linus the Laptop and the Snufflefungus.

Linus: Hello.

Snufflefungus: Hello!

Malex: Today, we’ll be discussing an upcoming production of ours.

Snufflefungus: Do we produce stuff?

Linus: No. This show isn’t really a production, it’s an elaborate hoax.

Snufflefungus: I thought something was fishy about this whole thing! I bet these microphones aren’t even real!

Malex: They’re real enough that if you were to break one, I would kill you.

Linus: I would give just about anything to see that…

Malex: Anyway, we’re getting started on the production of a new cartoon!

Snufflefungus: Ooh! I love cartoons! I can hardly wait!

Linus: Good grief. Enough with the optimism already! I’m getting smothered by it.

Malex: Oh hush. I’ll admit, we’re treading on entirely unproven ground, and something horrible might happen. That’s why I’m not going to go overboard with the details. Still, theoretically, we have all the tools at our disposal, so if they work as advertised, we should be able to really complete a cartoon!

Linus: You know you’re not exactly pioneering new things or anything, right? I mean, if you were attempting this in 1910, it might have been vaguely interesting, but…

Malex: Well this will be available over the Internet! That’s pretty cutting-edge…

Linus: Can you say, “Homestarrunner.com?”

Malex: Shut up.

Snufflefungus: Shut. Past-tense verb. To move something into position so that it blocks an opening.

Malex: Now, if only he had an actual windpipe and a jaw to block it with.

Snufflefungus: So, Malex, tell us more about this cartoon.

Malex: Well, it’s going to involve characters that we’ve already heard from, but we’ll be seeing new sides of them.

Linus: Really? To which characters are you referring?

Malex: Ah ah, we wouldn’t want to give away too many details and get people’s hopes up, would we?

Snufflefungus: What stage of production are you in right now?

Malex: Well, we’re in script development right now. We’re also knee deep into the character designs. That oughtta take weeks all by itself, but it’ll be worth it.

Snufflefungus: So when can we expect to see this in theatres?

Linus: Where did that come from?

Malex: Probably never, since it’ll most likely be less than fifteen minutes long. Still, it should be highly entertaining, and we’ll undoubtedly learn a lot.

Linus: Maybe you’ll learn not to announce stuff before it’s finished…

Malex: Hey, we finished the opening title logo for the Malex Media Network!

Linus: Is that so? Then why are you planning to re-render it again?

Malex: The, uh, quality isn’t… you know… high enough yet. It still looks really awesome!

Linus: Maybe according to human standards, but I wouldn’t be caught dead rendering something like that.

Snufflefungus: Hey, I have another topic for the minute, if it’s okay for me to bring it up…

Linus: No. You’re not allowed.

Malex: Of course he’s allowed. What is it, Snufflefungus?

Snufflefungus: Well, I’m still looking for my memories, and I think I would like to call Little Red Riding Squirrel up on his cell phone to find out what he knows.

Linus: Since when does Little Red Riding Squirrel have a cell phone?

Malex: Since when do you know Little Red Riding Squirrel’s number?!

Snufflefungus: I got his number last time he dropped in so I could find out more information.

Malex: Well, if you insist. Give him a call.

Little Red Riding Squirrel: (Answering phone.) Hiya!

Snufflefungus: Hello, Little Red Riding Squirrel?

Little Red Riding Squirrel: May I ask who’s calling?

Snufflefungus: It’s me… The Snufflefungus.

Little Red Riding Squirrel: Oh! How are you doing?! How is Malex? How is everything?!

Snufflefungus: Everything’s okay, I’m just calling to find out what you know about my memories.

Little Red Riding Squirrel: Oh, I don’t know anything about them. I lied last time to get on your good side.

Snufflefungus: That wasn’t very nice of you.

Little Red Riding Squirrel: Probably not, but it doesn’t matter now because – thanks to the magic of caller I.D. – I now have your phone number!

Linus: Holy deer slap!

Malex: Is there no refuge?!

Snufflefungus: Little Red Riding Squirrel, I’m hanging up on you now.

Little Red Riding Squirrel: It’s’a me! Little Red Riding–

Linus: Well that was thoroughly unproductive…

Malex: Ladies and Gentlemen, I think that’s all we have time for today. Thanks for listening, and we hope to see you next week on the Malex Minute!

Snufflefungus: If anybody knows anything about the whereabouts of my memories, please give me a call.

Malex: Today’s show was a production of the Malex Media Network. Visit us online at MalexMedia.Net. God bless, and have a great day!

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Alex Markley

Release manager: Alex Markley

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio2.56 MB Download Now - 2.56 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Classic Malex Minute Illustration309.15 KB Download Now - 309.15 KB View Now - Classic Malex Minute Illustration

Comments

Alex's picture

Woo!

I actually posted the episode on time this week! Cause for celebration indeed. ;)

Seriously, I expect the next few weeks to be touch-and-go, but after that, everything should lighten up significantly.

Also, there were some technical difficulties during the recording of this episode that made editing a nightmare, and probably lowered the overall quality a bit. Ideally, this won't happen again.

I am also aware that I haven't posted anything of any import for the better part of two weeks. I'm hoping to post something soon so I can explain myself.

In the meantime, enjoy the episode!

ttyl

--Alex Markley

This is the self-perpetuating sig. It exists for its own purposes, and functions according to its own specifications. Question not the sig...

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Awesome!

For the first time ever I didn't get a pre-listen to the episode before it came out! So this was the first time I heard it. The whole bit about LRRS now having your phone # was really scary. As the episode was ending was so expecting to hear the phone ring in the background.

(BTB New sig for all interested. :-D )

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Foolish words, spoken by a fool, among fools, never sound quite so foolish.

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Peter's picture

New Signature

"Foolish words, spoken by a fool, among fools, never sound quite so foolish." -Aisling's Signature

This is crushingly, frighteningly frustrating truth. Nicely put, Aisling.

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This statement in this signature is a lie.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

Alex's picture

Grr...

Seems I made a goof on the file before I uploaded it. (Second time in a row!) It's not a big deal, so if you already downloaded it, don't bother grabbing it again.

I'm hoping things will get less stressful in the near future, so I can stop making these stupid mistakes. :-P

ttyl!

--Alex Markley

This is the self-perpetuating sig. It exists for its own purposes, and functions according to its own specifications. Question not the sig...

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

good for me, not so good for you

Fortunately, The Squirrell hasn't tracked us Punks down yet! :-D

But you guys seem to be doomed :-(.

------------------

And this is why your mind is such a terrible thing to lose.

Mariel 7's picture

Glad I'm not you

It's times like this that make me really glad that I don't know you or the Squirrel's phone number!!!

However, I really do sympathize with you as I was once stalked by a guy at my school for a year and a half. He loved me and I hated him 0_0 :-(| !!! It was torment.

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Insanity brings people closer

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Owch

|o x|

| > |

| ~ |

(^My own smiley.)

------------------------------

Foolish words, spoken by a fool, among fools, never sound quite so foolish.

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Mariel 7's picture

i'm confused (see previous post)

... :-? ... (see subject title)

------------------------------

Insanity brings people closer

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Mariel 7's picture

All's well that ends well...

"I was once stalked by a guy at my school for a year and a half. He loved me and I hated him!!! It was torment". - Me

While this is true, I was able to get over it thanks to the help of my two best friends, my stalker's worst enemy, and a beautiful dream I had about him (the stalker).

In it, he followed me to my house and did the whole 'pebble at the window' cliche. Failing to awaken me, he picked up one of the slates from our front walkway and chucked that at me. It shattered my window and I went to investigate. He asked me to come down so that we might elope or something. I said alright; however, upon reaching the garage I picked up a cinderblock. I opened the garage door and my would be 'suitor' was upon one knee looking up at me with expectation and love ... I threw my cinderblock at him.

When I woke up, I immediatly told my friends. They laughed until I thought they were going to die. The following day was one of the best ones of my life ... and my least favorite thinks-he-is-my-boyfriend-but-isn't was nowhere to be seen!! :-D

------------------------------

Insanity brings people closer

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Peter's picture

I love Homeschool

See, this sort of thing doesn't happen at homeschool.

---------------------

This statement in this signature is a lie.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

quick thought

If it did happen at homeschool I would be REALLY worried.

______________________________

Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.

Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.

I beg to differ

I was homeschooled, and I have had way more than my fair share of stalkers. The worst was when I had to change my cell phone number, and (because my voicemail hadn't worked on my previous phone) I wound up with something like 100 messages from this guy. Nothing short of extremely unnerving. I currently have one that I'm not sure qualifies as a "stalker", but he shows up at my work when I'm there, and he follows me, and tries to get my schedule from my co-workers, who thankfully are smart enough not to give it to him.

This is not meant to scare anyone, I'm just stating that homeschoolers can have the same problems as everyone else.

Actually, just to console any mother on the site, my stalkers have all been harmless, just very annoying and completely unmarriable.

"We are the music makers... and we are the dreamers of the dreams." Willy Wonka

Do you realize that if it weren't for Edison, we'd be watching TV by candlelight?

Peter's picture

Homeschool

What I meant was literally at homeschool, which was alluded to with my original wording. You can't have any stalkers at home, and if you did, as GhostMagic so cleverly put it, you should be very concerned.

---------------------

This statement in this signature is a lie.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

Mariel 7's picture

Very true

Fortunately my last school didn't have a school directory with addresses. My "friend" was never able to find my house ... fortunately 0_0 .

Just to clarify, my stalker never tried to do anything unseemly and was just annoying (also very strange and not too bright). However, by the sixth time he asked me to be his girlfriend and I refused, I really was ready to throw a cinderblock at him! (insert previously described dream sequence :-P )

In other news, I have a new sig!! X-D X-D Yeah!!

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For every minute you exist, take two to live

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Not at MY homeschool!

Just to let you know...

No stalker with an ounce of sel-preservation instinct would ever DAREcome anywhere near my homeschool or my students. X-D

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Just keep swimming!

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

library stalker

my stalker experience was rather freaky, he spied on me while I was at an internet terminal @ newark library and then followed me downstairs when I needed to make a phone call

he was NOT harmless looking and fortunately I remembered to lie without a qualm when he asked if I had a boyfriend

then I ran into my friend Colin and borrowed him for my boyfriend for about ten minutes so the guy would go away...it was really scary 0_0

"...Though I may be forced to faint if my imagination gets the better of me."

-- Anne Shirley

I hope and pray that none may kill me,

Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,

But if ever any should think to kill me,

I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.

Stalkers...

I've had plenty guys staring at me but only one stalker. And he found someplace else to be pretty quick when I found and stood beside Fopsworth. (Despite his wimpy sounding name Fopsworth is intimidating to look at thanks to his sheer hight. And don't make him mad by threatening his mom or sisters.) On the other hand, I feel sorry for the guy who does choose to stalk me; I've got a big family and most of them are guys who know martial arts.

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Foolish words, spoken by a fool, among fools, never sound quite so foolish.

Everything looks perfect from far away.

friends too

I may not be as proficient in martial arts as your brothers, but I've been known to cause plenty of damage when it proves necessary.

"We are the music makers... and we are the dreamers of the dreams." Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder)

Do you realize that if it weren't for Edison, we'd be watching TV by candlelight?

Mariel 7's picture

Lucky...

I feel sorry for the guy who does choose to stalk me; I've got a big family and most of them are guys who know martial arts. - Aisling

The best I have is one friend who knows a little karate. Oh well ;-)

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For every minute you exist, take two to live

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Lilly's picture

I feel great now

My brother is a foot shorter than me and looks ten. and Dad probably would just laugh. I shal resort to borrowing random guys and hoping they are nice should i need to, i should probably start making friends with guys just in case :-) .

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Send the river faster on it's path, so the river will find me sooner, sooner at the sea...

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

:-D

You can borrow one of my brothers...

------------------------------

Foolish words, spoken by a fool, among fools, never sound quite so foolish.

Everything looks perfect from far away.

heh heh

;)

"We are the music makers... and we are the dreamers of the dreams." Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder)

Do you realize that if it weren't for Edison, we'd be watching TV by candlelight?

Creepy

It strikes me as very disturbing that most people on this site have had experiences with stalkers... 0_0

Siggy -

This is the self-perpetuating sig. It exists for its own purposes, and functions according to its own specifications. Question not the sig, for it is all-knowing...

Lilly's picture

AISLING!

I thought you had given up on your evil plan! Or at least were giving us a break. :-((

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Send the river faster on it's path, so the river will find me sooner, sooner at the sea...

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Stalkings

It might depend on one's definition of stalking. It seems as if it might be a fairly common occurrence for younger ladies.

I haven't been stalked in a long, long time and probably never will be again. But I've had experiences. Oh, the stories I could tell... ;-)

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Just keep swimming!

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

brothers

I only have one brother but I'm related by marriage or blood to half of Licking Co. and friends with at least three or four rather hulking guys

so I figure that counts for something X-D

"...Though I may be forced to faint if my imagination gets the better of me."

-- Anne Shirley

I hope and pray that none may kill me,

Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,

But if ever any should think to kill me,

I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.

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