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Malex Minute 006

Linus the Laptop gets a virus. What will our heroes do? Can they rid their companion of a potentially fatal parasite? Will they even try? Find out in this thrilling installation of the Malex Minute!

Episode Audio

Transcript

Malex: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Malex Minute! My name is Alex Markley, and I’ll be hosting the show today, along with Linus the Laptop and Snufflefungus the Snufflefungus.

Snufflefungus: Finally! My dreams become blessed reality!

Linus: I’ve got bad news for you. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

Snufflefungus: Sure it is! Fame! Fortune! Far-reaching influence! Did I mention fame and fortune?

Malex: Somehow, I doubt it.

Linus: See? Even you admit it!

Malex: Hey! We don’t have to be rich and famous to be successful. Already we’re seeing an increase in traffic from the promotion we’ve been doing for the show.

Linus: And then they realize their mistake and turn right around. Seriously, what’s the point? This show will never mean anything to anybody!

Malex: Bah! Laughing is important! People like to laugh!

Linus: Precisely my point.

Snufflefungus: You know, I’m starting to think that you’re just a little bit of a pessimist.

Linus: Surprise surprise, rodent.

Malex: Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Let’s get over it, shall we?

Snufflefungus: So, what’s on the agenda for today?

Malex: Well, for one thing, I’ve been working on the website all week.

Snufflefungus: Oh? How interesting!

Linus: Oh yes. I’m sure everyone wants to hear about your magical adventures in PHP-land.

Malex: See, MalexMedia.Net is based on a project called Drupal, and there’s a new version coming out pretty soon. Once that new version arrives, it’ll give us the ability to do all kinds of wonderful new things.

Linus: (Sarcastic.) Do tell!

Snufflefungus: Dude, your glass-half-emptiness couldn’t get any worse if it tried!

Malex: (Awkward.) Anyway, we’ll be opening a new store on the website with a completely new line of products and services. We’ll be replacing the look and feel of the site with a completely new one. We’re even re-writing our media back-end to support new and wonderful things. Altogether, everything is grand.

Linus: No, everything is not grand! Nothing is grand! Or okay! Or– (Stuttering.)

Malex: Linus? Linus! What’s the matter?

Linus: (Sounds evil.) Whoa. Hey! My voice sounds evil and stuff!

Snufflefungus: Yup, definitely a pessimist.

Linus: I have a sudden urge to indoctrinate children and increase the national deficit.

Snufflefungus: Congratulations. You are now a politician. Or a college professor.

Malex: You know, I’ll bet you’ve gotten a virus, Linus.

Linus: Oh no! Not that! Anything but that!

Snufflefungus: I’m sorry old friend, is there anything we can do?

Linus: Shut up, dippy. I feel fine. Evil, but fine.

Malex: You know, it’s a good thing you’re not connected to the Internet, or you’d probably be spreading it around.

Linus: Good idea! I’ll go do that! (Evil laugh.)

Malex: Quick, Snuffy! Grab him!

Linus: Let me go! I’m warning you! I’ll bite!

Snufflefungus: Don’t go old buddy, old pal! It wouldn’t be the same without you!

Malex: You might have to get used to it, Snuffy. We may just have to put him down.

Snufflefungus: Oh, okay.

Linus: No! Blargh! Must… Inflict… Evil…

Malex: Linus! Linus, are you still in there?

Linus: No! My name is not Linus. My name is… Mr. Eyebrows!

Malex: Well Mr. Eyebrows, you see this?

Linus: Yeah?

Malex: It’s a portable computing device. A PDA. You can have it if you leave Linus for it.

Linus: Why would I do that?!

Malex: (Sing-song.) It’s 64-bit!

Linus: Ooh! Gimme!

Malex: Aha!

Snufflefungus: Quick! Burn it!

Linus: (Back to normal.) You never told me you had a better computer!

Malex: I lied.

Mr. Eyebrows: What place is this?!

Snufflefungus: Touche!

Linus: You know what? I think I’m dizzy.

Malex: Well, Mr. Eyebrows, you’re stuck in there now, and you’re isolated from the network.

Mr. Eyebrows: What are you going to do with me?!

Malex: I’m going to leave you on the shelf up there until you’ve learned a lesson and curbed your anti-social behavior.

Snufflefungus: Is that the new, politically-correct way of saying ‘pure evil?’

Malex: Yeah, you’ve just gotta stay up on this stuff.

Snufflefungus: People are so brittle!

Linus: Dude, I just had a virus over here. Are your attention spans so short?

Snufflefungus: One time, I got a tangle in my fur. Talk about pain.

Linus: I almost died!

Snufflefungus: Aw, we all have our little trials.

Malex: Ladies and Gentlemen, I think that’s all we have time for today. Thanks for listening, have a great week, and we’ll see you next time on the Malex Minute!

Mr. Eyebrows: Can I come down now?

Snufflefungus: Bad Mr. Eyebrows! Bad!

Malex: Today’s show was brought to you by the Malex Media Network. Please visit us online at MalexMedia.Net, God Bless, and have a great day!

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Alex Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Alex Markley

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio2.72 MB Download Now - 2.72 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
Classic Malex Minute Illustration309.15 KB Download Now - 309.15 KB View Now - Classic Malex Minute Illustration

Comments

Alex's picture

Posted!

Enjoy!

--Alex Markley

Then, suddenly, Agent Dully vanished in a puff of narrative intervention, and was never seen again.

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Mariel 7's picture

*rolling on floor with bouts of uncontrollable glee*

That...was...amazing... X-D !! Now, where to begin...

Linus is both sarcasm and pessimism incarnate!

"Mister Eybrows" needs some serious therapy. It's wierd, but he acts kinda like a mix between Mr. Smith (my English teacher) and John Kerry ... 0_0 ... AAAHHHHH!!!!

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Can you smell the color NINE?

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

So funny

How do these things just keep getting funnier? Mr. Eyebrows just about floored me. X-D

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Just keep swimming!

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Listening to it again, and again, and again and etc.

Had to listen to it a couple times before I could hear it around my own laughter.

I think this episode is my absolute favorite! And I love Mr. Eyebrows' voice; even if he is evil.

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Some write because they are writers. Others write because they have a story to tell.

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Malexminute gains popularity at ODU

this just in this just in. I played this episode in my multimedia class. The whole class loved it. The prof wants me to take one of the episodes and turn it into a small flash cartoon. (do I have permission?) and on a side note I'm really wanting to see the production and maybe be a guest in an upcoming episode. May I? *insert puppy dog eyes here*

______________________________

Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.

Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.

Peter's picture

Flash/ToonBoom

"The prof wants me to take one of the episodes and turn it into a small flash cartoon. (do I have permission?)" -GhostMagic

...

*Quartz scowls jealously*

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You know you've had a long winter when the trees start blooming before they grow leaves.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

Alex's picture

Sweet!

Sorry I didn't reply to this more quickly. I'm quite honored that your professor considers our production a worthy foundation for such a task. Of course you have permission, as outlined in the Creative Commons license that these episodes are licensed under.

As far as your appearing in an episode, that sounds quite the intriguing proposition. We've just gone off on a new story arc, so it wouldn't be for a while, but keep in touch via E-Mail, and we'll make it happen. :)

ttyl

--Alex Markley

This is the self-perpetuating sig. It exists for its own purposes, and functions according to its own specifications. Question not the sig...

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

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