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Malex Minute 004

Our first guest interviewee! Will he survive the ordeal?

Episode Audio

Transcript

Malex: Welcome to the Malex Minute, Ladies and Gentlemen! My name is Alex Markley, and I’m hosting the show today along with Linus the laptop…

Snufflefungus: And Snufflefungus the Snufflefungus!

Malex: For the record, no.

Linus: How do we even justify calling you ‘Snufflefungus?’

Snufflefungus: I don’t really know!

Malex: I think it was originally supposed to be derogatory.

Snufflefungus: My name is a derogatory word! Yay!

Malex: Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, today we have a very special guest.

Linus: I notice that you didn’t say ‘guest star.’

Malex: All those big talk shows have it all wrong. They interview people after they become famous. Interviewing people before they become famous? We’re all over that.

Linus: Amazing. Simply amazing.

Snufflefungus: I don’t really want to host anymore.

Malex: Today, we have Daniel Woods in the studio with us.

Daniel: Hello!

Malex: So Danny; may I call you Danny?

Snufflefungus: May I call you Danny Danson?

Linus: May I call you Daniel Dead-meat?

Daniel: Should I be horrified at this point?

Linus: If you wish, but you should know that we’re only now getting started.

Malex: Anyway Ladies and Gentlemen, Danny is one of the very newest members of the Malex Media Network, and has the distinction of actually being good at making films! So Danny, can you tell us what got you started with filmmaking?

Daniel: Well Malex… Can I call you Malex?

Malex: I guess–

Daniel: Ha! Malex! M-ale-ecks? Maalox! Woo!

Linus: I think he’s got ya’ there.

Daniel: Anyway, ever since I was old enough to see, I’ve always been fascinated with TV and Films. At the age of 12 is when you could say my obsession with film started. After seeing Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace, written and directed by George Lucas, I came out of the theater and knew that Episode 1 was the greatest film I had ever seen. That’s when I knew I wanted to make films because I was so excited when I saw it that it gave me gas. And when I get gas, that means something.

Malex: I think it means something alright…

Linus: Another point for Malex.

Snufflefungus: Can I keep score too?

Malex: Seriously. Had you ever seen any films at all prior to that? That movie was… crap.

Daniel: Is it okay for me to hate you now?

Malex: Be my guest! Anyway, what were your other inspirations?

Daniel: Like I said before, Star Wars, and also – after I was older – Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down, Signs, and We Were Soldiers. I think Saving Private Ryan is my all time favorite movie… that and Dumb and Dumber. But after I saw Signs, I didn’t eat corn for almost six months. M. Night Shyamalan is probably my second favorite director at this point.

Malex: Yeah, Shyamalan is probably my favorite director of all time. So what was your first film about?

Daniel: It was supposed to be a serious short film about Star Wars called One Battle of Many. It was about five minutes long and involved some sweet high wire action and some cool force moves with light saber sticks. But after watching it four years later it’s almost impossible to view it as serious. My second film was right after I saw Signs in 2002. It was a comedy spoof off of that called Signed: The Directors Shun. That one is about forty-five minutes long. By the way, don’t ask about the title. I have no idea.

Malex: Yeah, I remember you guys working on that one. It was really stinking hilarious.

Snufflefungus: What about that title? How does that make any sense?

Daniel: … I have no idea.

Linus: Don’t mind him, he has no mental faculties at all.

Snufflefungus: One point for me!

Malex: So, how long did it take to finish these films, Danny?

Daniel: About three months for the Star Wars one and four months for the Signs one. We didn’t have our drivers licenses until two years later after the last film, so that was kinda frustrating because our parents didn’t want to keep driving forty minutes back and fourth all the time between our houses. I can’t understand why.

Snufflefungus: One point for the parents!

Linus: Are you positive that you understand the point of this game?

Snufflefungus: Infinity points for me! I win!

Linus: I didn’t think so.

Malex: So, you mentioned high wire stunts. Were there any injuries during the making of these films?

Daniel: Oh Yes. I broke my tail bone while doing one of the high wire stunts for One Battle of Many. That’s why it took three months because I had to lie low for a while. Literally. For that short, you’ll notice that I’m wearing blue jeans in the first half and khakis in the second. I had forgotten that I wore jeans by the time we filmed the second half. And besides a few goose eggs on the head and a shotgun wound to the butt, Signed wasn’t too bad.

Malex: I’m confused; couldn’t you have looked at the tape and seen what you were wearing before?

Daniel: Well, my mental capacity was somewhat limited at that time of my life… That’s probably why I got hurt so much.

Malex: Amazing.

Linus: Malex, are we sure we want him on the team?

Malex: Sure we do! Danny, can you tell us anything about your partnership with the Malex Media Network, and what you hope to accomplish with us?

Daniel: Well, I hope to gain more experience, meet new people and provide clean entertainment that would put Hollywood to shame. We’ve already got some comedy shorts in the works that should show up on the Malex Media Network site.

Malex: Rock on! What about a random personal fact?

Daniel: I have an ingrown toenail that speaks to me on occasion.

Snufflefungus: Ow, ow, ow!

Linus: Danny Danson, you win. Go away.

Malex: Anything else you’d like to add?

Snufflefungus: No! Please! Don’t give him the chance!

Daniel: No, not really. I’m pretty tired of talking to you right now.

Malex: Alrighty then! Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you all for joining us! I hope you enjoyed the show, and will join us next week!

Snufflefungus: I’ll be hosting the show!

Malex: Today’s show was brought to you by the Malex Media Network. Visit us online at MalexMedia.Net, God Bless, and have a great day!

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Alex Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Alex Markley

Thanks to everyone for their help and support. :)

Media Downloads

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Episode Audio3.09 MB Download Now - 3.09 MB Listen Now - Episode Audio
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Comments

Mariel 7's picture

Toenail??EWWW!!

That's AWESOMELY funny :-D ! I would have responded to earlier episodes similarly, except that I only just realized how to listen to them on my computer, and have had lots of catching up to do!

One point for me and my utter lack of all technology related skills X-D .

------------------------------

I'm really smart for a stupid person; or really stupid for a smart person...or BOTH!!!!!

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Peter's picture

Did you like the Snufflefungus?

"Infinity points for me! I win!" -Me

I did the voice for the Snufflefungus. Did you like it?

---------------------

Can you truthfully and conclusively answer anything to this question other than "Yes"?

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

Mariel 7's picture

ummm...

That depends on what you mean by 'like'. It was funny, but also disturbing!!! And Lilly's right, it sounds like you stuffed cotton balls up you nose, then talked with a lisp 0_0 . Funny, cute, but REALLY wierd.

------------------------------

I'm really smart for a stupid person; or really stupid for a smart person...or BOTH!!!!!

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

?

Did you? Did you stuff cotten balls up your nose?

That would be fun. :-)

------------------

And this is why your mind is such a terrible thing to lose.

Peter's picture

What? No!

Are you sick? Of course I didn't. I'm just doing that voice...

Sheesh.

---------------------

Can you truthfully and conclusively answer anything to this question other than "Yes"?

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

Danson?

"Danny Danson, you win. Go away."

I love this line!

Seriously though, Daniel is amazing when it comes to doing films. I can't wait for some of his work to go up on the MMN.

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Some write because they are writers. Others write because they have a story to tell.

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Alex's picture

Not long...

"I can't wait for some of his work to go up on the MMN."

This will come sooner than later. :)

--Alex Markley

Then, suddenly, Agent Dully vanished in a puff of narrative intervention, and was never seen again.

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

I like this episodes of

I like this episodes of things like you guys making funny comments to one another and fish.

I think I will come and visit you all while you are recording!

I know where you live!

~~~~

LRRS

~~~~

LRRS

...Fish...????

:-(|

------------------------------

Some write because they are writers. Others write because they have a story to tell.

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Alex's picture

Our Best Experts

Our best experts have tried - and failed - to decypher this sentence. My best guess is that it's a half-hearted attempt to hurt the reader's mind, although it's possible that it was just an accident.

Poor Matilda.

--Alex Markley

Then, suddenly, Agent Dully vanished in a puff of narrative intervention, and was never seen again.

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Matilda?

Poor Matilda.

Is - was - Matilda the expert who was trying to decipher the sentence? What concerns me is that this noxious creature (Little Red Riding Squirrel, not Matilda) claims to know where you live!! Do you think that's true? Should we move?

------------------------------

Just keep swimming!

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Snuffy

I did the voice for the Snufflefungus. Did you like it?

Yes! We all like it very much.

He seems a tad confused by life in general. But I love the "infinity points for me" thing.

I think Snuffy is my favorite character!

------------------------------

Just keep swimming!

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

great

you're being stalked by LRRS???!!!!!

Dear Lord...

"...Though I may be forced to faint if my imagination gets the better of me."

-- Anne Shirley

I hope and pray that none may kill me,

Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,

But if ever any should think to kill me,

I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.

fish indeed

For once, I agree with The Squirrell.

It's brillant. I don't know why I didn't think of it first.

Nonetheless, I still have to kill you.

------------------

And this is why your mind is such a terrible thing to lose.

Waitaminute

And just what about The Squirrel do you agree with? :-| Think carefully before answering.

------------------------------

Some write because they are writers. Others write because they have a story to tell.

Everything looks perfect from far away.

LRRS

DON'T!!!

never agree with EX- CRACK-DEALING SQUIRRELS!!! YOU DO NOT WANT TO UNDERSTAND THEM! EVER!

"...Though I may be forced to faint if my imagination gets the better of me."

-- Anne Shirley

I hope and pray that none may kill me,

Nor I kill any, with woundings grim,

But if ever any should think to kill me,

I pray Thee, God, let me kill him.

Mariel 7's picture

U are SOOOOO right!!!!

I agree, LRRS is never right and therefore, should rarely be agreed with!!!

------------------------------

"Wait, just answer the five questions..."

"Three questions, sir."

"Three questions. And we will watch...and pray"

--King Arthur and Sir Galahad

Monty Python and The Holy Grail

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Susie Markley's picture

Mariel 7's sig is noticed.

What's up with monty python stuff going around? I've practically seen it every place I've gone for the past week! I HATE :-| that stuff. It's voilent, and although voilence may be a form of entertainment for some people, I find it neither entertaining or funny in any way. I find the only form of feelings it has to offer for me, is offence.

That's my opinion of the matter. No offence taken by anyone, I hope, for there was none intended.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I'm twice as tall of half of you, and half as tall as twice of you. -Bill Boy: "Lord Of The Beans"

#HowManyLicksDoesItTake to change a lightbulb?

Mariel 7's picture

None intended...none taken

I think that all the Monty Python converstions this last week originated with me and my sig. I'm very sorry 'bout that, for all who might be offended by it X-| . However, I haven't used this sig in a few days; here is my new one.

See if you can figure it out ;-) ...or not :-P !!

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Can you smell the color NINE?

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Peter's picture

Are you kidding?

"See if you can figure it out ;-) ...or not :-P !!" -Mariel 7

I don't see how someone could miss this one, unless the attention they are paying is frugal. Nine isn't a color, and you can't smell numers or colors, so it's just nonsensical.

---------------------

Can you truthfully and conclusively answer anything to this question other than "Yes"?

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

Okey-dokey then

Thank you Mr. Spock.

------------------------------

Just keep swimming!

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

I can!

At least, I think I can. It's from a song, but I can't remember what song...

------------------

And this is why your mind is such a terrible thing to lose.

Peter's picture

...What?

I'm sorry, but you seem to have lost all context while posting. Please check the number, and dial again.

---------------------

Can you truthfully and conclusively answer anything to this question other than "Yes"?

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

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