Malex: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Malex Minute! ‘Malex’ because we couldn’t trick anybody famous into doing it, and ‘Minute’ because any longer would make you lose your will to live!

Malex: You know, I’m quite excited about our first episode here. This is our first attempt at anything vaguely resembling a ‘podcast’ – a fancy, schmancy word that here means “Digital Radio or Television show which can be experienced whether you have an iPod or not, no matter how much Apple would like you to believe otherwise!”

Malex: On this show, I expect to discuss everything from recent developments on the entertainment industry front to the current status of the Malex Media Network, with the occasional stab at current political situations in between.

Malex: I also expect we’ll be bringing in various people and interviewing them. Failing that, we’ll corner various people and interview them – an exhilarating, albeit frequently unsatisfactory solution.

Malex: Since we couldn’t really think of anything interesting to fill our time with today, we chose to interview a small furry creature that we discovered trying to break into the studio last night.

Creature: I’m in a cage!

Malex: That’s right, I put you there. What do you call yourself?

Creature: Yourself?

Malex: No, not me. Look, don’t start. What is your name?

Creature: I don’t know, I lost my memory.

Malex: Okay, so what were you looking for in the studio?

Creature: My memory.

Malex: …Oh, that’s grand. What did it do, manifest itself as a hideous arthropod and flee screaming from your misshapen skull?

Creature: I don’t remember… It’s all so vague…

Linus: Boss, I think he’s hiding something.

Malex: Linus, just run the equipment and try not to kill anything.

Linus: You know, if brains were dynamite, you’d be all alone.

Malex: I’ll ignore that… Okay folks! Looks like we’re well over our minute, but who actually took that literally? If you’ve somehow managed to lose your will to live, we’re genuinely sorry in a gee-that’s-too-bad-but-it’s-not-our-fault-so-don’t-sue-us kinda way.

Creature: If anybody has seen my memories, please tell them that I miss them.

Malex: …Until next week, keep warm and don’t feed the snufflefungus. Today’s show was brought to you by the Malex Media Network. Please visit us online at MalexMedia.Net. God Bless and good day!

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Alex Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Alex Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Alex Markley

Thanks to everyone for their help and support.