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Contradictionary - Ionization Machine

Comic

Description

Timby had a good life. He had all the comforts of a luxurious 21st century home at his fingertips, and he need not even share them with Nixy. He could systematically and passively aggressively annoy Nixy with no effort but that put forth in his own enjoyment, and when Nixy would be provoked to action, he would often be foiled in the execution of his own plans without Timby lifting a finger. It even provided amusement to accompany Timby's leisurely pursuits.

Such was Timby's life.

Transcript

"Timby, you're spending entirely too much time on the internet! I'll simply have to strike your computer with lightning!

"I have an ionization machine which, when switched on, ionizes the air and makes nearby charges discharge!"

So Nixy set out...

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Comments

xD

So much for that idea XD

I hope Nixy's alright though... o.o looked like quite the nasty crash. nasty, yet...hilarious =P

Praise the Lord! Hallelu!

I don't care what the devil's gonna do!

The Word and faith is my sword and shield

And Jesus is Lord of the way I feel!

Oh...my...uh...

That looked....painful. :P

I do not think outside a box, I think outside of a circle! :P

~Me

Lilly's picture

The last 2 panels were a

The last 2 panels were a little confusing but when I realized what the joke was they made sense. If Nixy's not careful he'll get in trouble with the FAA =P

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Don't mess with the Government

You must no get on the bad side of the FAA. I hear they aren't happy until you aren't happy. :-P

Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them.

Ronald Reagan

Very funny!

This comic is hilarious, Quartz. As usual. But for me, the intro paragraph is still the funniest part. But the witty use of words has always been one of my favorite forms of humor.

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Lilly's picture

For some reason I can't see

For some reason I can't see this one. I tried refreshing the page and stuff but so far it hasn't worked.

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Alex's picture

Hmm

Lilly said:

For some reason I can't see this one. I tried refreshing the page and stuff but so far it hasn't worked.

There are a lot of possible reasons why that might happen. Were you logged in to the site at the time? Has the problem gone away?

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Lilly's picture

Hmm...

I was logged in, and I can see it now. So I guess problem solved-ish

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Alex's picture

Ahh, derivatives...

Lilly said:

So I guess problem solved-ish

I suppose an explanation is in order.

Remember how I said that there could be several reasons why you didn't see the image? That's because of the general way we handle images on the site here.

See, there's a lot to it. For each Contradictionary, we need at least three different images. There's the wallpaper version, the front-and-center version, and the thumbnail that shows up during previews. For videos or audio, there could be even more.

Obviously we cannot create and upload each image manually, that would take forever! So instead, we upload just one big version and let the site automatically generate the other versions on its own. We call this derivative generation, and it's one of the most complex components of the site.

The benefits are pretty amazing, as you might guess. We can upload an image without even knowing how it will be used later. And, any time we shuffle things around, the site is smart enough to automatically regenerate derivatives on the fly.

So what's the catch? Because we don't always generate an image until it's needed, there's a risk that the new image won't be ready for download in time for you to actually see it.

Each new image has to take several major hops before it can get to you, so it's not really too surprising that you noticed an issue.

That said, I have two more things. 1) As the site comes out of BETA, we will stop shuffling things around as much, and there will be much less risk of this happening again. 2) If this happens once, I am okay with it being a glitch. If you see it again, (on any page) I want to know about it and figure out exactly what is happening.

Fair?

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Lilly's picture

Yeah

I figured you'd want to know rather than it becoming a major problem three months from now and then me suddenly going "Oh yeah... I couldn't see that Contradictionary that one time... oops..." :-P

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Peter's picture

And

And thank you immensely for your feedback. :)

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

Alex's picture

Actually...

Peter's Sig said:

Let's altogether now dread the day that Google provides thinking as a cloud computing service, shall we?

Amazon Web Services already provides this. It's called Amazon Mechanical Turk.

I'm dead serious.

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Peter's picture

Oh...

But at least they're individual people providing thought in a fully conscious, aware, and voluntary context - and other individual people don't purchase it as a new, dark form of prosthesis. (Or transplant?) :P

The name "Mechanical Turk" is really creepy, though, considering its origin. The name Leela and I came up with upon the invention of my signature sounded more friendly: GThink. :P

I'm probably changing my signature now... @-D

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

Mariel 7's picture

Calla said: You must no get

Calla said:

You must not get on the bad side of the FAA. I hear they aren't happy until you aren't happy.

. . . >__> . . .

APPLESAUCE!

*bows, and walks away*

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

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