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Emoticon Charlie

“You’re too late, Emoticon Charlie!”

Emoticon Charlie Says Hello!

Emoticon Charlie swirled the dregs of his Ginger Ale around in the bottom of his glass and sighed. It had been another long day, and he was tired.

He looked around the bar. It was nearly empty. He considered returning home, but to what? A drafty, cheap apartment, completely empty save a few sticks of dirty furniture and the pests that lived in the walls?

No, he wouldn’t return home just yet. He’d wait and save that thrill until after he drank another Ginger Ale. After all, no sense rushing things.

He ordered another and sat back on his stool. It was something of a feat for a sphere, but he managed.

Emoticon Charlie was so named for his shape: He looked like one of those cursed smiley faces that kids learned to draw at the age of two. He was yellow and round like some sort of stupid beach-ball.

Even worse, he had to work incredibly hard to stop smiling. His stupid, blank grin stared back at him every time he looked in the mirror. He often found himself practicing more serious and meaningful faces just to shake things up. He liked to imagine that his beady black eyes were soulful and deep. He liked to imagine that anyone who looked into them would be captured by the enigmatic charm he exuded.

While he was at it, he liked to imagine that he was rich and powerful, too.

Nobody really knew why he was the way he was. Birth defects or some-such, but it didn’t really matter. At school, his classmates always called him “Pac Man” and teased him, but he didn’t care. It didn’t bother him.

At least, he liked to imagine it didn’t bother him.

He looked at his Ginger Ale and sighed. He couldn’t even drink real alcohol, no matter how long a day he’d had. The one time he tried to drink any real alcohol he woke up in the hospital with a panel of doctors standing over him, scratching their heads in general confusion. Emoticon Charlie was used to doctors scratching their heads when it came to his health.

And what had made Emoticon Charlie’s day so long?

It had started as most of his days did. He went to work. Emoticon Charlie worked in a local convenience store as a mascot. He didn’t mind, his mutant shape and empty smile fit the profile perfectly. He didn’t mind the crummy, long hours. He didn’t mind the pay either. In fact, the pay went a long way to helping him overlook the stupid children who regularly ran up to him and poked him to see what would happen.

Still, the pay could be better.

After some deliberation, Emoticon Charlie decided that work had gone alright that day… The real trouble hadn’t started until after he got off and started to walk home.

Emoticon Charlie pushed his fedora back on his large head as he considered the events which had transpired that evening, and decided that his life would probably never be the same.

He wasn’t sure if it would be exactly better or worse, but it would definitely never be the same…

Comments

Peter's picture

Heheh...

That was really fun to draw, actually... :D

[mmng2:4685]

^-Credits: Pencil and paper, and The GIMP

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Lord, Father, save me now, I pray

From mine heart's desire;

For to not in Thine order stay

Is a deadly chaos fire.

Remind me I am ever still

In the battlefield,

For to my wicked, fickle will

I would rather die than yield.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

It's to bad.

You can't see just how great this pic really is. I mean, you can't even see the smoke drifting from the gun barrel.

You think you could put up a version that's not colored? That might make it a little easier to see.

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Heaven:

Where Summer's sun never makes you sweat, and Winter never gets cold.

Where Autumn's leaves aren't really dead, and Spring never grows old.

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Super size

you can't even see the smoke drifting from the gun barrel.

If you click on the picture, you get a bigger version. The smoke from the gun shows up better in the bigger version.

Quartz, what a great picture! You really are very talented!

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Poignant and peculiar

Malex, I can never decide whether to laugh or cry when I read your stories.

Emoticon Charlie pushed his fedora back on his large head

How did he do this? And why do so few of your characters have appendages?

Gee, I'm glad I never got that degree in psychology. There are some things I'm probably happier not knowing.

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Peter's picture

...

"Quartz, what a great picture! You really are very talented!" -SangMing

Aww, thanks! :)

-------

Lord, Father, save me now, I pray

From mine heart's desire;

For to not in Thine order stay

Is a deadly chaos fire.

Remind me I am ever still

In the battlefield,

For to my wicked, fickle will

I would rather die than yield.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

dang,

Emoticon Charlie sounds like he's a little on the bitter side, dontcha think?

--

If a cannibal ate a clown, would he taste funny?

--

"Have you seen how much cotton candy he can eat?"

"Yes! 5.1 Pounds. That's why his blood is so good on pancakes!"

Alex's picture

The Real Question

The real question is: What made him so bitter? What happened that fateful evening?

And, more specifically, will we ever find out for sure?

ttyl

--Alex Markley

"Fine time to go blind, son; now we're all going to die!"

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

*lol*

The one time he tried to drink any real alcohol he woke up in the hospital with a panel of doctors standing over him, scratching their heads in general confusion.

that's hilarious! :-D

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What if a person who always lies says he is telling a lie? Let me think about it....(my brain)BOOOOM!!!! X-|

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I need a siggy...

Oh wait.

Alex's picture

:-D

Lol, thanks! That's very encouraging. :)

--Alex Markley

"Fine time to go blind, son; now we're all going to die!"

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Gabriel's picture

Wow.

I love this :-J ! Are there going to be more installments?

The thing to remember George is that, monkey spit tastes very much like bananas.

God answers my prayers. He lifts me up. He gives me my breaths and refills my cup.

Alex's picture

Well

I suppose it depends... Will inspiration strike again? Did it ever?

Who knows, son; who knows?

--Alex Markley

"Fine time to go blind, son; now we're all going to die!"

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

That sig!

Hi Foppy. It's always good to hear from you!And about that sig...

The thing to remember George is that, monkey spit tastes very much like bananas. And that'll teach you to be so curious, George. X-D

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Alex's picture

Punctual

It should read: "The thing to remember, George, is that monkey spit tastes very much like bananas."

Other than that, it's quite humorous. :)

--Alex Markley

"Fine time to go blind, son; now we're all going to die!"

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Grammer Police

*sirens* *gunshots* "They're getting away. Call for back up!"

------------------------------

Heaven:

Where Summer's sun never makes you sweat, and Winter never gets cold.

Where Autumn's leaves aren't really dead, and Spring never grows old.

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Well, duh.

"The thing to remember, George, is that monkey spit tastes very much like bananas."

But really, who's surprised by that?

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Gabriel's picture

Grammer perpetrators.

*engine starting* *burning rubber* "steppon it mOE we got'ta claerthis joint be for wes caoght."

The thing to remember, George, is that... monkey spit tastes very much like bananas.

God answers my prayers. He lifts me up. He gives me my breaths and refills my cup.

I'll handle this!

mOE we got'ta claerthis joint be for wes caoght."

Too late, rapscallion! Now drop that apostrophe. Drop it, I say!

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

The cavalry!

Don't worry! I called for reinforcements! The commas are on their way.

------------------------------

Heaven:

Where Summer's sun never makes you sweat, and Winter never gets cold.

Where Autumn's leaves aren't really dead, and Spring never grows old.

Everything looks perfect from far away.

lol...

That reminds me of the beginning of this Strongbad E-mail

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What if a person who always lies says he is telling a lie? Let me think about it....(my brain)BOOOOM!!!! X-|

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I need a siggy...

Oh wait.

Old reference

I clicked on this link and saw something that I found interesting that I bet most of you guys are too young to remember. After Strongbad addresses the audience and turns back to his computer to answer the email, he says something about HR Hurricanesandstuf. There was a tv show on Saturday mornings in the 70s. It was a children's show about a magical island and its inhabitants. The mayor of the island was a lizard-like thing named H.R. Pufnstuf. If you want to know more, and think you can stand it, here's a link:

http://www.70slivekidvid.com/pufn.htm

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

*lol*

Witchypoo?

------------------------------

What if a person who always lies says he is telling a lie? Let me think about it....(my brain)BOOOOM!!!! X-|

------------------------------

I need a siggy...

Oh wait.

LOL

"Throughout the series, Jimmy tried to return home and Witchiepoo tried to get Freddie - neither of them ever suceeded."

That's the way television life goes. Nobody ever gets anywhere.

------------------------------

Heaven:

Where Summer's sun never makes you sweat, and Winter never gets cold.

Where Autumn's leaves aren't really dead, and Spring never grows old.

Everything looks perfect from far away.

Lilly's picture

I have no idea what you are talking about

Except the doctor! he goes everywhere! Mostly where he isnt really wanted...

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And where will I go from here?

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Philosophy

"Throughout the series, Jimmy tried to return home and Witchiepoo tried to get Freddie - neither of them ever suceeded."

That's the way television life goes. Nobody ever gets anywhere.

There's something sad about that. As if Jimmy, Pufnstuf & Witchypoo were real and trapped in eternal stasis, none of them ever realizing any success. In reality, Jack Wild, the boy who played Jimmy, died of cancer in 2006 at the age of 54. But Jimmy and Witchypoo struggle on...and on... :-((

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Huh?

:-? 0_0 I don't get it. It couldn't possibly mean what I think it means, could it?

:-O Poor monkey!! :-(( :-((

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This is my sig. Or,IS it? Dweedle dweedle, dweedle dweedle. (Twilight Zone music)

I know...

Let's get Emoticon Charlie to run for president. He's got to be better than Hitlery Clinton. Say what you will, at least you know exactly where you stand with him. Just one look at his face and you know precisely how he's feeling.

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Lilly's picture

*shudders*

Anything is better than her as our next president.

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And where will I go from here?

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest- Owl City

Exclamatory Interjection

No matter how nice it is to hear from the fop, the gnome does not want to know how he knows what monkey spit tastes like!

As for the rest of you...the gnome trembles (frustration, fear, you choose).

Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.

Pedialite

You all know what pedialite is? It's that fluid that pediatricians urge parents to give to babies and toddlers who are experiencing diarrhea. It's meant to prevent dehydration. But kids won't drink it. I tried some once to find out why. Now I know. It's because it tastes like spit. If you think about how I - or any of you - might know what spit tastes like, it might make you ill. So don't think about it. :-)

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Digestive disruption

diarrhea, pedialyte, banana monkey spit...the gnome credits this network with the drop of at least a clothing size... who knows what the gnome might lose if reading continues? The gnome can assure the ming of sang there is no consideration being given to how anyone knows what spit, or anything else, might taste, at least not after the gnome loses two sizes.:-J

Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.

Oh here they are!

after the gnome loses two sizes

Don't worry. I found them! :-|

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

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